I hate being emotional

._.

Seems like a natural way to react considering what happened. You can't control love, it happens whether you want it or not. It might sound cliche, but I'm sure you'll get over her and find someone else.
And the tips she gave you are good ones, but it will take a lot of effort on your part, it will probably be very awkward at first but it gets easier the more you do it. I struggle with social anxiety myself, among other things, but I'm improving. I'm not improving as quickly as I'd like though.

Life is a job, an insanely, hard job.

You will be allright. I hope.

Sadly, we can't change the difficulty level on life... We're stuck playing Life (Not the shitty board game everybody cheats on T^T) on hard mode... Wish ya best of luck! GAMESHARK DOESN'T WORK FOR REAL LIFE; I TRIED TO USE WALK THROUGH WALLS AND FAILED.

I wonder if what you felt was really love. Sometimes we meet people who are really awesome and make us feel special, and we feel grateful to them, it's pretty common to mistake our feelings of friendship and gratitude for love (they're rather similar in a way).
While I'm not really fond of dwelling into the past, I had my fair share of depressions when I was younger, I had three massive depressions one after the other so I know how it can feel. In my case I grew bored of everything around me and dug deeper into fantasy worlds (videogames, anime, movies, manga, comic books, novels, etc etc), after a while I just gave up on people and for a couple years, I just went around making others feel miserable (namely girls, I'd used to date them just to dump them after a while, I was quite a jerk). Well, in the end, I got over my depression by myself, I never took any meds since I'm not fond of any type of drugs, maybe if I had taken them I'd have gotten over it faster. Anyway, all of this back story was just to give you an advice from someone who was once at a low point, did lots of horrible stuff and wound up quite well later on (well, I'm still somewhat of a misanthropist though).

My advice would be not to do such a rash thing as removing yourself from the 'online' world. That would just be running away, you wouldn't really solve anything.

As for the girl... Perhaps you were too clingy? I don't know the whole story, but you sure seem awfully possessive of her, while being possessive can be charming for some girls, it's just creepy for others. Try to come up with interesting topics, let her take her time to reply, just try to make her interested in you again. Also, it might be painful, but try to straight out ask her why she changed the way she treated you, knowing her opinion will help, even if it's harsh. Oh, and lastly, try to avoid self pity when talking to her, in a way, by doing that, you're forcing her to talk to you and making her feel bad if she doesn't. That's just pressuring her and might push her away even more.

Real men oughta be manly and have chest hair! Mwahahahaha (nah, not really, but manly men need chest hair <3).

Thanks guys, I can't thank each of you enough. I'm aware of why she doesn't talk to me in the way that she used to.

One time she just stopped talking to me for over a month and all I could do is watch her do Hentai roleplays (which were public) on G+ with a bunch of horny people. I got upset because of her not talking to me and because she was doin such selfless, disturbing things. I saw the girl I liked, making herself look like a total tool. I tried to make her stop but it seemed to have made things worse, especially when she knew I got upset about her.

Despite her knowing about how I felt, she found it difficult to stop. I told her how special and amazing she was, how I truly felt about her but she still couldn't resist for long. Her parents soon caught her, so she says.

Now it's even harder to speak to her as she says her parents are suspicious of me and that they keep a close eye on her. She says that they know about me and realise how she feels. I often asked myself "Why would they think like that of me? Do they know that I tried to make her stop doing hentai? I may be a stranger but why of all people are they suspicious of me but not those who virtually fucked their daughter?".

She soon stopped looking up at me because I began self harming and fell into a more depressed state. I hurt myself for the stupidest of reasons, it was to show her that this stranger DID care about her and was willing to do rational, illogical things.

I honestly wish I could speak to her parents and talk things out, tell them who I was, how I felt and what she meant to me. I cared about her as if she was my own!

To her, I'm the emo kid who looks down on himself. She even said clear as day " How can I look up to you again when all you do is look down on yourself?". Maybe if she didn't stop talking to me and was actually honest, I wouldn't have turned out like this. I fell in love (stupidly) and couldn't accept the denial. I didn't like how she stopped giving me attention because she found "better people".

She always gave me advice even though we couldn't speak or do much. It's why I could never let go, she was always nice to me! No matter what, she never gave up on this stupid shit. She may have gotton bored of me which is why she went so long without talking but when we did talk, she usually supported me.

I gotta grow a pair of balls. I gotta accept things for how they are, I gotta fix myself. Maybe then, one day I'll be the sort of person that someone will look up to. Maybe I won't dissapoint them like I did her.

I know she wanted me to be a man, just like you said. It's why I wanted to leave my internet life and improve the real one. I didn't feel that I could stay on the net when it made me sad knowing that we weren't as close as she used to.

Was I possessive? Yes, I guess I was. I was worried about someone hurting or using her, taking my "light" away from me. I didn't even trust the other guys that she spoke to because of the whole Hentai thing. She was amazing (she still is) and I didn't want her get used then thrown away like some object.

Everyone else told me that if she wasn't gonna talk to me anymore, that I should let go. As much as I agreed with them, it's just so hard because it's the girl that made me see thing's again. I was aware that she had a crush on someone and now she's dating but I still love her. What the hell is wrong with me?

There was once a time when I didn't feel love and was nothing more than a cold shell. She found me and turned my world around. She was the only person who made my day worth living.

I knew it would be difficult to let go of her so I took a more drastic approach. I told her to block my accounts. I literally begged her to. She kept saying no and begged me to talk it out but I kept telling her to do it. I knew that if she loved me, she would do it - she did. She did something that she didn't want to do, for me.

If she didn't block me, I would've kept checking her profile and try engage in pointless conversations with her. Now that she did that I'm forced to get over it as I can't speak with her.

I've met some really nice, awesome, beautiful people on the internet (that includes those who speak to me on here) and it's amazing! They're so considerate and understanding - I don't meet many people like that IRL. I can't even be open with my family since they're so judgemental and always over react.

I feel that I should get out more and take what you guys (people on the net) have given me, to the real world. I want to improve myself. I can either sulk in my bedroom all day, talking on the internet or get over my silly issues and make something of myself.

Thank you. Thank you all! And thank you @Uminoko ! I hope all of you have a great life. One thing about the internet is that it's taught me how people from different parts of the world can come together and get along. It's taught me of the amazing things that can be achieved and the bonds that can be made. It often makes me wonder why there is still war in the world. I think that if people came together, we could accomplish anything.

If there's any spelling mistakes, blame my tablet. The touch screen is a moron.

I think you should read this.
http://www.purpleclover.com/relationships/4999-ill-never-fall-love-again/

I stumbled upon this a few days ago and I kinda saw a resemblance.

I see the resemblance, too. Thank you for sharing.

Well, I can answer about the war part. =O
War creates jobs and is a good way for countries to earn money. Behind the scenes in wars there's tons of pillaging going on and many other things even worse than that, so yeah, as long as humans remain being human, war and love will both keep on going on. =3

Edit: Never mind. Got a mod to help me out with that comment

Edit: NVM

You tried your luck, she didn't love you back and now she's ditching you due to this incident.

I know it sucks but you've gotta move on and forget about her, it's for the best.

The best place to start solving the problem is to stop being emotional. I'm not even kidding or being facetious - that's a hurdle in life you have to get over. I've felt my share of toxic emotions in life and I can tell you one thing for sure - don't try to roll a stone up a mountain top by yourself. Start respecting yourself and it will make a precipitous difference in your quality of life.

As I've stated before, I know the feelings of anxiety and depression well. I think many people on this board do too. It can take years to find a good combo of meds for your body but don't give up! Even though it may seem like a bad idea to mix psychotropic drugs, a lot of times one by itself just won't cut it. A&D tends to cause seclusion so sufferers tend to deprive themselves of natural vitamin D which, in turn, makes it worse. Also, it makes us feel like crap and not want to exercise (even walking) which deprives us of endorphens.

I know how hard it is to break the cycle of loneliness and feeling like crap when you have A&D but you don't have to be hopeless. Joining a gym and potentially finding someone to work out with could do wonders for you.

As for the relationship issues: It sounds like you tend to fall hard when you meet someone and when it goes south you fall harder. I know how this feels too. It is hard to find someone that can understand what you are going through and be sympathetic to it and you can end up freaking them out. If the ladies you are interested in won't/can't deal with it then you are wasting your time. I know it seems that you must have that girl, but there are plenty more out there. Things that turn you on about this girl may be less important than you think. It shouldn't be about what a girl puts on her body but about her as a person. You may be surprised about what type of girl can drive you crazy when you find her and she will try new things to turn you (not too freaky) if she really cares. If you feel like you have to constantly be reaching farther than your 50% then you probably aren't going after the right person and are just pushing your affection on them and wasting your time.

Also, online relationships (especially long distance) usually don't work too well. It is like dating your computer. Try finding someone you can hang out with face-to-face because it can be the small things you notice about them — that you can't on a screen — that can make or break it.

Hope that helps!

Edit: After having re-read (or reading parts I glazed over the first time) I realized there may be some impertinent parts to my reply.

Thank you, you guys have been really helpful. Everything you've all said (except for Chelsea_Fantasy - that dude is just rude), has been of great influence on how I can change my life.

You have my gratitude and I wish you all the best.

What did that Chelsea dude say exactly? x'D
I only read one of the comments before it was deleted and now I'm curious as hell. >.>

I can't remember. He said something which made me uncomfortable, that's for sure. I can see why so many people have muted him.

What he said, got to me so I asked a moderator if they'd remove the comment.

Lol, personally I've never used the ignore function on anyone since I like laughing at people's stupidity. <3

In the end, the thing you need to focus is in believing yourself to be awesome no matter what others may think. You are what you make of yourself, so keep thinking you're awesome. =O



While not exactly my favourite type of music, the lyrics are awesome and quite true.