Fried chicken insanity

I've been awake for goodness knows how long. I spent 4 hours helping my uncle label the circuit breaker to his house, in 90F heat, without A/C. I didn't sleep at all last night. So maybe my writing sounds insane. I feel insane.

After getting back home, I decide to maybe lay down and finally sleep. I get about 20 minutes of sleep before my mom gets home from work and wakes me up, bringing with her 5 crates of bottled tea. This is not normal, but my brain is too tired to question this discovery. Still slightly out of it, my dad tells me to go walk the dog with him. I stumble out, following along, to where he proceeds to randomly cross a busy street for no reason with the dog, to which I'm starting to wake up, and realize that is not normal either. My dad out of nowhere drops the dog's leash, and the dog takes off in an excited bout of freedom, knowing no one holds the leash anymore. As I frantically chase after my dog, running over asphalt, I make the realization that my father is ridiculously drunk and slurring his speech, and that I've forgotten to put shoes on.

I catch the dog, and walk him back home, waiting for my father to catch up, where he asks me why I let the dog run around freely like that. Before I can even make a confused retort, I hear my mom asking me where I got the fried chicken. What? ...Fried chicken...what?

I see a white, plain box, with no markings. In it, is fried chicken. There is an unmarked unknown unexplained box of fried chicken on my kitchen counter.

I have multiple questions.

My father, grinning like a madman, joyously tells me, "Ah, my daughter, I shall lie to you and explain chicken". In the time I had been asleep, he had found a 5 dollar bill, and purchased a lotto ticket with it, winning 40 dollars. Excited by this victory, he decided to buy fried chicken, as most people in this situation obviously would. But without a car, or knowledge of how a computer works, how would he acquire such precious chicken?

Clearly, the answer would be to walk back to the store he bought the lottery from, and beg the cashier to order chicken for him.

Because that's what he did. In exchange for cash, the manager of the gas station ordered delivery fried chicken. So a courier brought fried chicken to a gas station, which my dad took, used the rest of the money on beer to celebrate, and brought it back home. All in the span of 20 or so minutes.

That is why there is fried chicken on my kitchen counter. Suspicious looking fried chicken in an unmarked plain box that was won through randomly found money that in turn was used to buy a lotto, which then won money, which then was spent on ordering chicken to a gas station, which was brought home, and is now being eaten.

I do not understand.
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Comments

E
uhh
you might want to check a map and make sure your still in texas
cuz if your not and find out your actually in florida then you dont need to understand
 
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B
Hey, batter late than never. At least your dad finally got a chance to spread his financial wings. His decision was anything but boneless.

...God, I sound just like Meteor.
 
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I always appreciate a good fried chicken story. Especially if there is drunkenness involved.
 
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This is totally unrelated but I found this video when I clicked on the oatmeal video and I thought everyone deserves to see it
 
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Chary
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