Sadness

*unbelievable sadness*

Can´t say something useful or helpful...
Except of maybe:
My dear Sinchen.
I'm so sorry about all of this.
But.....
Despite all this, I would ask you from the bottom of my heart not to give up.
Even if you can't see it or don't want to see it at this moment - you are not alone.
Even if we can only give you "moral" support here,it might be maybe a kind of help for you.

Sinchen must not be happy - Now this upcoming Step his may be exactly the step that could enable you to do exactly the opposite.
Far away from all this misery that has been chasing you for the last few years and has made your life "not nice" in every way.

I'm hoping for the best for you Sinchen. You're a real one.

Alexander1970 said:

Far away from all this misery that has been chasing you for the last few years and has made your life "not nice" in every way.

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I wouldn't place a bet on this.

N10A said:

I'm hoping for the best for you Sinchen. You're a real one.

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Thank you.
One of the sad things is that I got most appreciation in my life here on the forum. Never in reality.

This is terrible and I REALLY hope you somehow get better. Seeing these "temporary unavaliable" posts is just sad.

KleinesSinchen said:

One of the sad things is that I got most appreciation in my life here on the forum. Never in reality

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Reality and basically the entire world in general DOES suck tbh. I accepted that years ago.

Ik someone else said this but I don't care, I'm saying it too: PLEASE don't give up

I am very sorry for your psychological condition. Besides, if I understand correctly, they are forcing you to move me away from nature, to the city.... this is terrible. I could not live away from the green and surrounded by concrete, so I understand your suffering.

"...some people can do whatever bad they want without having to fear consequences – while innocent have to pay for their evilness."
Apparently this is the case. I am reminded of the figure of Job in the Old Testament: the righteous man persecuted by bad luck and, apparently, by God. In truth, in the long run, good is reward in itself, it brings serenity and attracts optimism and goodwill around it, while evil creates inner malaise, discomfort, madness, and finally brings ruin to the perpetrator in one way or another.

Try relying on something bigger than ourselves, through prayer or meditation, try to forget about yourself by dedicating yourself to others (when you get better) even for a short time (elderly, disabled, sick, marginalized) and trust in the future, in what surrounds you and has supported you so far, and you will see that things will get better. At least, that is what I believe, and what I have always had confirmation of.

@Nikokaro You want me to answer that?

I don't believe in Santa Claus. I don't believe in bad people ultimately getting what they deserve in one way or the other either.
"Book of Job" is a very dangerous and irresponsible creation trying to convince people in accepting mistreatment and abuse without even grumbling.

Don't you see? It is precisely this skepticism, atheism, cynicism that is ruining you! Where I come from we use this crude expression: "scavarsi da soli la fossa" (digging your own grave).

Nikokaro said:

Don't you see? It is precisely this skepticism, atheism, cynicism that is ruining you! Where I come from we use this crude expression: "scavarsi da soli la fossa" (digging your own grave).

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What are you even talking about? "skepticism, atheism, cynicism"

I would be glad if you stopped interpreting my words at your own will making whatever you want out of them. I didn't say any of this. I said the Book of Job is a dangerous creation (by humans!). There is nothing atheist in there (I'm agnostic by the way). The Bible as such consists of so many passages, that I would call that book a blasphemy – because it paints a mean picture of an almighty God (which a hypothetical Creator of everything surely does not deserve!).
Cynicism is in that one chapter as well: Torturing a man mentally and physically expecting him to take it with a smile is a cynicism that goes way too far for me – and at times I'm not sparing cynical statements myself. We discussed that chapter in catholic religion at school as well. I was furious back then (and it is one tiny jigsaw puzzle piece of the big picture that drove me away from that religious group).

Please note that there was a time when I myself believed into things like "positivity", "positive thinking", "good deeds will be rewarded at some point" and so on. At some point reality taught me that this was erroneous believe… and I decided to leave it behind and moved on. If you notice that you are riding a dead horse, you should descent from that horse.
Stop trying to convince me of things that have proven to be counterproductive for me. If it works for you, it is fine. Continue this way. Why shouldn't you? It does not work for me. (I have not forgotten that I wanted to write about this, but my concentration issues are worse than ever)

Nikokaro said:

by dedicating yourself to others (when you get better) even for a short time (elderly, disabled, sick, marginalized) and trust in the future

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I'm not planing to punish myself further by yet again being helpful to others to just get mentally raped as a reward for the 1000th time.

Nikokaro said:

"scavarsi da soli la fossa" (digging your own grave).

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Wouldn't be the worst idea if taking that literally. ← Yes, that is a cynical statement (carrying a grain of truth with it).

Nah... I was mainly referring to your implicit ridicule of the divine (God, Absolute, One, Holy Spirit or whatever you want to define It) by calling IT "Santa Claus". And anyway those adjectives also referred to your past attitudes, and I think they are quite adequate. Furthermore, although optimism and positivity are certainly better attitudes, more mature and responsible than pessimism and negativism, superior to both is the serene, conscious and clear acceptance of "what is", of reality, of the fact, without attributing to this an evaluation, a subjective moral interpretation, without laughing or crying over it: Mindfullness, the Power of Now...
As you already know I am certainly not a Christian (rather akin to a certain practical Buddhism, Chan or Zen) and yet, thanks to frequent meditation, prayer and above all continuous attention and emotional openness towards others, I feel such a power, around and within me, which stands over me and supports me in difficult moments, and gives me an eerie strength that I, as a petty little ego, would not have, especially in moments of complete immersion in action, completely forgetful of myself, of my past, or my fears, of my existence.

Things that are difficult to explain in words. Rather my warm hug, my benevolent gaze and my almost motherly acceptance towards you would be worth a thousand words.

Nikokaro said:

by calling IT "Santa Claus"

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No. You misunderstood me here.
I don't believe in Santa Claus is supposed to mean I don't believe into something easily disproved. "God, Absolute, One, Holy Spirit or whatever you want to define It" doesn't fall into that category.
Look at the comment above again:
"I don't believe in Santa Claus. I don't believe in bad people ultimately getting what they deserve in one way or the other either."
There is no reference to God in there.

Nikokaro said:

than pessimism and negativism

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For the hopefully last time: I am not a pessimist, I'm a realist. Extrapolating from the past experiences is not pessimism.
Gargh. I have to finish that text that is waiting for four months now.
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Where is the problem accepting that your way does not work for me? I tried it for years and years. Again and again. Things got worse and worse by the positivity thing I once believed in. At some point one must cut their losses and stop investing into the wrong thing (please don't associate this statement with money now).
It is awesome if all that stuff works for you. Continue the working way! I left this behind as it failed and moved on. Clinging onto failures is anything but mature.