Hardware Fake features you want it to have.

[_Chaz_]

Included backup unit is a hologram screen beamed through eyes, triggered by thought via chip in your brain so you can have it wherever you are.

All console emulation.

7 USB ports and 320 GB of on-board memory.

 

[zeromac]

Built in Xbox 360 and PS3 emulation

 

[iYoshi-]

For it to come with a free midget
De-materializer
Stylus that doesnt suck anus
Tranc gun
Monochrome color setting
Radio scanner
TV scanner
Porn scanner
Gaydar
Lie detector
Printer
T-Shirt maker
RSS
SSR
Mini oven
Mini oven in the mini oven
Condom dispencer
Dog whistle
Wolf whistle
Whistle whistle
Heat rays
Cold rays
Time control
Space control
Standard volume control.

 

[Nollog]

The ability to play games would be nice.

 

[KuRensan]

-A bigger battery
-GameCube Emulator
-Better button (no Clicking)

 

[gameboy13]

HDMI output.

 

[adrian2040]

Full iOS4 compatibility.

 

[Salax]

-Better button (no Clicking)

I liked the DSi button clicking. It felt... Smoother, somehow.

 

[darkranboria]

Damn it, I was gonna say prints money. :',(
Here is some random crap that is pulled out of my ass:

2 analog sticks above the one on the left, a D-pad, on the left buttonz.
Better mic
2 touch screens so when you snap the ds back all the way, the top one can slide over the bottom one and the top screen has buttons like a GBA.
Video recording w/ a better camera
SD+ MicroSD slot

Can sense if you shake or tilt it.
A good/cool/awesome/yumyumpudding web browser ftw
At the top of the top screen, 3 buttons, 1 for 3D off, 1 for brightness and 1 for home menu.

 

[Hakoda]

Open Source firmware

 

[anaxs]

theres alot i want but one of the simpleist fateures i want is mp3 music file support

 

[gpasoyf]

Good Games.

 

[DSGamer64]

Flash, just to spite Apple.