You know what really grinds my gears? Theater rant.

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by TwinRetro, Jan 24, 2013.

  1. TwinRetro
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    Global Moderator TwinRetro Don't start nothin', Won't be nothin'

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    Okay, It's time for a rant, folks. Movie theaters.






    "Oh, Daniel, you should buy the concessions, because they don't get much from ticket sales!" No. You know what? If I go to a theater, I stop by the $0.99 only store and pick out my snacks and drinks, or I eat a filling dinner before going. Yeah, I sneak in my snacks, and so what? Why should I have to pay upwards of $6 for a small drink and $8 for a tub of popcorn just because theaters still stick to their shitty, antiquated business model?

    "Oh, but Daniel, if no one buys concessions, the movie industry will die because theaters will have to close" No, that's bullshit, and I'll tell you why. There have been very few companies that are so unwavering and unbending, that they have collapsed under their own stubbornness. I doubt Regal, Cinemark, AMC, etc... will close because they don't get their enormous piles of cash to serve you popcorn and soda that's marked up 800% or more. No, they will lower prices, and their enormous piles of cash will be slightly less enormous.

    But let's say they do. Let's say that everyone all the sudden stops buying snacks at the concession stands. Let's say all the theaters are now closed. Do you think the movie industry is going to throw their hands up and say "Oh, well shucks, guys. I guess we can't make movies anymore!"? Fuck no. Just like we don't make our shoes by hand anymore (for the most part), and we don't use blocks of ice to keep our food cool, the movie industry will adapt. No theaters? New releases will find their way into your living room day one. Streaming for a nominal fee. No screaming kids (besides your own), no spendy snacks that seem to get smaller every damn time you buy them. No one kicking the back of your seat. No one to sit there and talk through half of the movie, (unless you have rude friends or family).

    Movie theaters are a byproduct of times past. The idea of the traditional theater, as it stands now is like an old man shitting his pants and hobbling by with a walker, claiming that he still has life left in him, if people just give him a chance. Either they will adapt, or they will die. In the age of HDTV and instant access to digital content, there is no reason for the traditional movie theater. I will celebrate the day that I can watch brand spanking new movies, legally, from the comfort of my couch. And the day will come. Either it will come to pass, or the movie industry will die a slow and painful death.
     
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  2. Foxi4

    Reporter Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    To be fair, I enjoy the movie theater experience and I don't think it's in any way comparable to "day one streaming". Of course I sneak my own snacks in as well, seeing that a movie theater ticket around here is pretty much 50% of how much the same movie would cost on DVD. They're not losing money on me bringing in a bag of crisps.
     
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  3. frogboy

    Member frogboy lacking both style and grace

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    To be honest, the only thing I like about movie theaters is rocking back and forth in the seats.
     
  4. Engert

    Member Engert I love me

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    You know what really grinds my gears?
    There's no beer in movie theaters (only 1 in the whole state maybe).
    Fucking pussies.
     
  5. TwinRetro
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    Global Moderator TwinRetro Don't start nothin', Won't be nothin'

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    Honestly, I used to love the theater. I don't anymore though. I just get pissed off almost every time I go these days. People using their cell phones during the movie, some 16 year old punk kicking the back of my seat, or sucking face with his slutty girlfriend, or talking during the movie and making snarky comments through the whole thing like some sort of shitty commentary track. Manners are a thing of the past for the new generation, and as a result, the theater experience has suffered greatly. That kind of shit, combined with the ushers and theater managers doing fuck all to curb this behavior has put me off going to the theaters for the most part. As it is, I only go to the last showing on a weekday, and for now it works because there's usually anywhere from 2-10 people seeing the movie, and 90% of the time they just watch the damn movie instead of being obnoxious taint monkeys.

    I know what you need. And you're welcome. I honestly wish there were more of these around...

    http://drafthouse.com/
     
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  6. Foxi4

    Reporter Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    Yeah, that is the problem with theaters - your experience is highly-dependant on your "company", which is why I never go alone - I enjoy movies together with my friends and even though we're sometimes "those guys in the back row who laugh and comment things on-screen", we're having a good time doing our best not to be obnoxious. Phones piss me off too, so we're always turning ours to Silent.
     
  7. Gahars

    Member Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    Ah, the theater experience. Movies just aren't the same if my seat isn't getting kicked in, there are no whining kids in the audience, and people aren't talking over every single line of dialogue. And hey, who can forget ticket lines and marked up snack prices? It can't be beat!

    I like the big screen and the comfy seats (at least, when they're not sticky with what I'm going to assume is just popcorn butter), but I'd give them up in a heartbeat if I could just watch the movie in the comfort of my living room from the get-go.
     
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  8. KingVamp

    Member KingVamp Great... AETHER!

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    I can say honesty that I never experience these hardships. :lol:
    Maybe like couple of times when kids are whining/crying for a bit, but that's it.
     
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  9. dj4uk6cjm

    Member dj4uk6cjm GBAtemp Fan

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    Muhahahahahaaa yessss! The "grinds my gears" rant is catching on to the tempers >=) my evil master plan is working perfectly! Jk jp lol but i do hope it trends in threads and posts XD its a good way to get out your frustration with the world.





    There should be a "what grinds my gears" thread to vent out our frustration with anything.
     
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  10. FAST6191

    Reporter FAST6191 Techromancer

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    I will not lie- I wandered in here thinking it might be a rant about actual theaters with a stage and all that.

    These days this town is down to a local cinema and whatever became of virgin cinemas (UGC or something) a though some of the villages have interesting arrangements (big films come a few months later, smaller films and older get a showing) and all of it is quite cheap. Both of the ones in town have some of the finest stocked bars in town as far as spirits go though some of the microbrew and even large brewery pubs do better beer, the chain one has the overpriced nonsense to an extent but for the most part it seems to be the difference between a supermarket and a newsagent. Ticket prices on a Friday/Saturday evening though....

    That said if the whole cinema industry folded in and just went DVD, rental and TV/streaming only I would probably actually enjoy it and certainly not mourn its passing.
     
  11. DragorianSword

    Member DragorianSword GBAtemp's #1 Gunter

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    Wow, looks like it's mostly Americans complaining about disturbing cellphones and anoying people.
    Have to say I never had any of those problems.
    Why do people complain about no beer in cinemas (they don't sell it in our cinemas either)?
    I never understood this.
    You go to the cinema to watch the movie in the first place, not to drink.
     
  12. FAST6191

    Reporter FAST6191 Techromancer

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    I do not know about anybody else but should someone invite a bunch of mates over for a few films/TV shows/games having some snacks and booze (or go out for the same once everybody gets there) is the accepted thing. If the cinema aspires to be an alternative for that or going out for an evening in general many find it nice to have some booze available.
    I would agree that going to a cinema and leaving legless, as you might from a pub or restaurant, is a different matter though.

    I forgot to mention it in my last reply but I did once go to one of those steakhouse and cinema places and it was pretty nice.
     
  13. Tom Bombadildo

    Contributor Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    Sort of related, I've noticed as of late that a lot of bigger movies are getting DVDSCR releases faster than before, like the Hobbit, Lincoln, Zero Dark Thirty etc.

    But agreed, the theater "experience" is bad at best and extremely shit at worst now. I'd much prefer streaming straight to my TV for an affordable price despite my shit connection. At least I'd be comfortable and won't have to sneak shit in to eat.
     
  14. ouch123

    Member ouch123 GBAtemp Fan

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    The worst I've ever had at the theaters were the occasional rowdy children or sticky cupholder. Mostly, I enjoy going to the theaters on the rare occasions when I do, but seeing as how I don't keep up with movie releases, I tend to only see movies that have been around for a while and are thus, less popular amongst the "hip" crowd. I would like to say though that comparing movie theaters to an old man is a little egregious though. Even a bedridden elderly man can still live the remainder of his time in exciting ways. All a movie theater can do is go out with a bang - and you do not want to be in the building when it does.
     
  15. ThatDudeWithTheFood

    Member ThatDudeWithTheFood TRIANGLEZ

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    I gotta say everytime I go to the movies the only thing that annoys me is the occasional crying child.
    Often nothing annoying happens at all.
    None of these people kicking my chair,repeating lines over the dialogue,obnoxiousness or even sticky cupholders.
     

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