Xbox eXcersize

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by xcalibur, May 28, 2008.

  1. xcalibur
    OP

    xcalibur Gbatemp's Chocolate Bear

    Member
    3,166
    4
    Jun 2, 2007
    Sacred Heart
    Get Ready to Xbox-ercise with Xbox aLive

    Fearing that Nintendo would dominate the massive “video gamers who want to exercise” market, Microsoft revealed its new service at a presentation in Redmond. Compared with the Wii Fit cartoony characters, the Xbox-ercise aLive program will take advantage of the Xbox 360’s more powerful graphic capabilities to render more realistic fitness instructors. Also, like most comparable games between the two systems, Xbox-ercise aLive will feature more violence.

    “Dance and yoga are fun, but violent actions are what get people in shape,” said Xbox-ercise aLive’s marketing director Todd Belham. “The Wii Fit stuff is for wimps. You burn a lot more calories smashing the controller into someone’s skull than stepping on and off the Wii Fit pad.”

    The system works best with two or more players, but antisocial individuals can get in shape as well by bashing the controller against a couch or an inflatable companion.

    In the EULA for the service Microsoft does not guarantee all results can be achieved in a single lifetime and is not responsible for death or injury caused by using the Xbox-ercise aLive subscription program.

    Belham said that existing Xbox 360 owners should find the Xbox-ercise aLive exercises easy to master. “Most of them did these sort of movements when they got ‘red rings of death,’ so they shouldn’t have any problems.”

    The Xbox-ercise aLive subscription-based fitness program will have four tiers available to consumers: Bronze, Silver, Gold and Platinum. These will range in price from $200 to $2000 a year, and can be purchased starting in June from the Xbox Live Marketplace.
     
  2. TrolleyDave

    TrolleyDave Philosolosophising

    Former Staff
    7,762
    231
    Jan 1, 2007
    Wales, UK
    How much!?!? That's a ridiculous price. You could join a gym with an actual physical physical trainer and study at a martial arts class for about the same!

    Quick Edit : I do like the name though.
     
  3. Awdofgum

    Awdofgum Wadofgum

    Member
    1,884
    15
    Mar 17, 2007
    United States
    Why are they making the same mistake Nintendo is making?
    The WiiFit balance board is impressive but the idea of exercising with a video game is really stupid (IMO).
     
  4. Costello

    Costello Headmaster

    Administrator
    12,409
    5,681
    Oct 24, 2002
    I'd be interested to see where you got that article from [​IMG]
     
  5. chuckstudios

    chuckstudios Putting the pro in procrastination

    Member
    896
    0
    Jul 19, 2006
    United States
    North Carolina, USA
    Lay off the [​IMG]
     
  6. Little

    Little I r Little

    Member
    1,227
    11
    Nov 20, 2006
    England
    yeah cos that article sounds real
     
  7. Eternal Myst

    Eternal Myst Back from the Myst.

    Member
    1,634
    6
    May 2, 2008
    United States
    I have a bomb alallalallala
    We can see right through your lies.
     
  8. Mewgia

    Mewgia drifter

    Member
    2,161
    10
    Dec 16, 2006
    United States
    Boston, MA
    please tell me you were joking
     
  9. xcalibur
    OP

    xcalibur Gbatemp's Chocolate Bear

    Member
    3,166
    4
    Jun 2, 2007
    Sacred Heart
    CMON!
    How could you not see through that?
     
  10. TrolleyDave

    TrolleyDave Philosolosophising

    Former Staff
    7,762
    231
    Jan 1, 2007
    Wales, UK
    Dude you totally should have kept that going longer!
     
  11. xcalibur
    OP

    xcalibur Gbatemp's Chocolate Bear

    Member
    3,166
    4
    Jun 2, 2007
    Sacred Heart
    Bleh, not many hits tonight.
    I should've put this up on a friday or something.
     
  12. TrolleyDave

    TrolleyDave Philosolosophising

    Former Staff
    7,762
    231
    Jan 1, 2007
    Wales, UK
    I never noticed how many hits the thread got. It was a great spoof though, not quite as good as Opiums April Fool but still pretty damned good.
     
  13. xcalibur
    OP

    xcalibur Gbatemp's Chocolate Bear

    Member
    3,166
    4
    Jun 2, 2007
    Sacred Heart
    For those who want to know, you can get more stories like this from BBspot.
     
  14. gizmo_gal

    gizmo_gal QWEEN of the RadioActive Force!!!

    Member
    1,171
    0
    Apr 10, 2008
    United States
    1st dimension, Earth
    Thanks. I'll have to check out this BBspot....It seems "Intur-essing"
     
  15. Awdofgum

    Awdofgum Wadofgum

    Member
    1,884
    15
    Mar 17, 2007
    United States
    Yes, I was joking
     
  16. CockroachMan

    CockroachMan Scribbling around GBATemp's kitchen.

    Member
    3,889
    5
    Jan 14, 2006
    Brazil
    Brazil
    I'll wait for the Sony Fitstation, with integrated blu-ray and mp3 playback [​IMG]