Wrote A song hope you guys like it

[Guild McCommunist]

Well if he makes an insanely loud/hectic beat that drowns out the lyrics so no one can hear them...
the song might actually work.

And I already hated dubstep...

But there's more to song lyrics than simply rhyming. The rhyming here feels incredibly forced. Find a new rhyming structure. And maybe, um, do some other things to your song that I probably can't post due to common courtesy.

 

[yusuo]

Basterds man kidnapping your dog, I hope it all works out for you, some people are so twisted and cold.

Best of luck

 

[Canonbeat234]

GRRRRR! I can't read the 'flow' of the song. Please create verse lines and make sure that the pitch of the note ends from each sentence. I have tried to sing it inside my head and it's a good try you did here however, the structure of the song and verses just look too complicated to make into a serious song.

Edit: Please re-do this song over again and I bet you it will sound a lot more better when you 'give' it structure.

 

[steve007]

New one True Story Sad as it is Drugs is what my mom did as A kid was never there ok hear it goes

This song is called (Front Paws)

Lives we know has fallen , Even lately well pawn them
Though the party can't be beat As A child I ate raw meat
Some are thirsty Eye that glow Come on mom I know that you know

The Sad things can wait As we die I don't relate ,
Made me feel like A tool As I ran too you

Mommy Why have you hug , Why have you hold Why have you told Why have you kiss Why don't you miss Shove me and hurt all i got are these front paws in the dirt

Yes I got secrets in side mee I well tell them if you let mee
Sleep in the dark was never fun as the sun rise gone home
Some are thirsty Eyes that glow Come on mom I know that you know

The sad things can wait As we die I don't relate ,
Made me feel like A tool As I ran too you

Mommy Why have you hug , Why have you hold Why have you told Why have you kiss Why don't you miss Shove me and hurt all i got are these front paws in the dirt... Shove me and hurt all i got are these front paws in the dirt


Silver Wolf let me know if you like this its sad but it really happen My mom thought I was A werewolf that pill made her think bad stuff All I can do is forgive and forget 2 strong words im I right humm ...

 

[Gahars]

Again, the frequent errors in your grammar make it nearly impossible to decipher your lyrics; please work on getting those sorted out. I would love to offer you critiques about the content but the lyrics are impenetrable as is.

 

[BORTZ]

So it cant be just me who thinks that your avatar is like a portal directly into the soul of the poster.

Is it possible there is actually a husky puppy who has an account here and writes songs? His grammer is poor because HES A DOG.

But the heart is really there. The feels, the atmosphere and breathe of rhetoric crashes though every line he writes. Now if you will excuse me, I need to find another box of tissues to dry my eyes.