Wrote A song hope you guys like it

[alidsl]

I'm one of the only people being decent in this thread. I just want the OP to be able to express himself without such glaring ridicule. Most of the posters are only here to feed their ego, and I'm not at all ashamed to point that out.

You basically seem to be here to say how shit the 'Temp is, and how we're all monstrous trolls.
You haven't really said what your opinion on what the OP posted is
So basically: you seem to be here to inflate your own ego, by saying how superior you are to everyone else due to your morals being better than ours.

Sounds about right Shlong

@OkraWinfrey if someone wants to express themselves do it in a blog and not in the form of a crap song (I just fed the troll )

 

[alidsl]

I apologize to anyone who didn't take part in the insults, but to everyone who did - I think you know damn well how low you are.

Clearly you haven't seen any other threads opened by Steve007

 

[TheDarkSeed]

@ Okra: Steve007 did ask for everyone's opinions. Let everyone think what the want to think. He has agreed to accept all praise and criticism by posting that song of his.

@Ali: Personally I think the song itself doesn't matter, but the message it delivers. You are kinda trolling too. (just look at your profile)

 

[BobTheJoeBob]

Honestly, I'm agreeing with OkraWinfrey here somewhat. The guy posted his song, and the 'criticism' people gave him was pretty much just insults.

Maybe if you told him how to improve the song you wouldn't all seem like dicks.

 

[TheDarkSeed]

Okra, I have a friend just like you. Who thinks that anyone who insults other people is on a pedestal looking down on them. Sometimes that is the case, but most of the time it just stems from obnoxiousness. you'll need to learn that somewhere down the line. Even if it bothers you, you shouldn't be so hostile. People have their own opinions, for them not to express them decently(the word of the day) would make this forum hollow and generic.

 

[Densetsu]

Honestly, I'm agreeing with OkraWinfrey here somewhat. The guy posted his song, and the 'criticism' people gave him was pretty much just insults.

Maybe if you told him how to improve the song you wouldn't all seem like dicks.

He crossed the line when he started calling everyone things like "you fucktards," "you fags," etc.

Everyone is entitled to express their opinion, whether it's agreeable or disagreeable. But there's a certain level of tact/decorum that everyone should exercise. Okra has no filter.

 

[BobTheJoeBob]

Honestly, I'm agreeing with OkraWinfrey here somewhat. The guy posted his song, and the 'criticism' people gave him was pretty much just insults.

Maybe if you told him how to improve the song you wouldn't all seem like dicks.

He crossed the line when he started calling everyone things like "you fucktards," "you fags," etc.

Everyone is entitled to express their opinion, whether it's agreeable or disagreeable. But there's a certain level of tact/decorum that everyone should exercise. Okra has no filter.

Like I said, I don't completely agree with him, and it's mostly with his wording that I couldn't completely agree with. But he is right in some ways, people didn't give Steve constructive criticism, they gave him insults, I haven't seen a post here giving suggests to him on how to improve it.

 

[Coto]

Steve007, nice song! It shows what your dog meant to you. I own 5 of them and they're possibly the best friends of a man..

I won't criticize you steeve007 because i'm terribly at doing songs or poems xD. It's nice to see posts like you did.

God job

 

[steve007]

I feel you I fix it sounds more better now I fix the spelling and words I made A lot of oops but tears where in my eyes and I could not see the key board well as I wrote this song and you don't have to like it I am sad on the hate of this song I don't mind its my feelings not your's

 

[steve007]

Hear is A new song I wrote tell me if you like it as well (?)


Nab My Note

Oh- Ta-ha- yeah- yeah- yeah , Oh- Ta-Ha- yeah- yeah- yeah
Oh- Ta -Ha -yeah- yeah- yeah , (Hell Yeah)

Oh- Ta- yeah- yeah- - yeah Oh- Ta- yeah- yeah- - yeah
Oh- Ta- yeah- yeah- yeah (Hell yeah)

Do you feel my music run Down my finger ,
Feels like A pack of Wolves Oh what A lingger to my singer
Playing the game never feels the same ,
Rocken my feet never stop the beat
Try so hard , never got to far
Taken my fun ,
Gonna give one luckey son of a gun (Oh- wooh wooh -oh-wooh oh toe wooh oh woo )

Oh- Ta ha- yeah- yeah yeah , Oh- Ta- ha yeah- yeah-yeah (Hell yeah)
Oh- Ta ha -yeah- yeah- ,Oh- Ta-ha yeah- yeah- ,oh -ta -ha- yeah-yeah
(Hell yeah)

That kind of mad made me Mmm bad. What kind of love do you rap in gloves
Parked down the block never had to much then stop , That kind of fish was a tastey dish All but mane played with a chu chu train .

keeped at it twice never made ah heiste don't temp me whos behind you
Face like A mug never road A bug Drove to the place in to space Take my show nab my notes one ghoat oh woo ,oh ,woo ,toe woo

Oh- Ta- ha yeah- yeah- - yeah , Oh- Ta- ha yeah- yeah-- yeah
Oh- Ta - ha -yeah- yeah- yeah , (Hell Yeah)

Oh- Ta-ha yeah- yeah- yeah Oh- Ta-ha yeah- yeah- yeah
Oh- Ta- yeah- yeah- - yeah (Hell yeah)

That kind of mad made me Mmm bad. What kind of love do you rap in gloves
Parked down the block never had to much then stop , That kind of fish was a tastey dish All but mane played with a chu chu train ,keeped it twice never made ah heist don't temp me whos behind you Face like A mug never road A bug ,Drove to the place in to space Nab my note one ghoat oh wooh ,oh ,wooh ,oh wooh. woo oh woo.. oh
Oh- Ta- yeah- yeah- hey- yeah , Oh- Ta- yeah- yeah- Hey- yeah
Oh- Ta -yeah- yeah- hey- yeah , (Hell Yeah)

Oh- Ta- yeah- yeah- Hey- yeah Oh- Ta- yeah- yeah- Hey- yeah
Oh- Ta- yeah- yeah- Hey- yeah (Hell yeah)

Shadows in the scars , Never got so far This kind of bad made me mmm bad.
What kind of love rap in gloves
Parked down the block never had to stop , That kind of fish tastey dish
Shadows in the scars , Never got so far This kind of bad makes me bad....
Playing the game never feels the same ,
Rocken my feet never stop the beat
Try so hard , never got to far
Taken my fun , Gonna give one luckey son of a gun son of of gun I won oh ta ha yeah yeah yeah (Hell yeahhhhhhhh ) That kind of mad makes me mmm bad .....

 

[Guild McCommunist]

I'm highly confused.

Your song could also use some proofreading. And revisions. And a lot of things.

 

[Gahars]

That was... deep?

The rhymes were kind of painful and way too frequent to take seriously. And the lyrics didn't seem to have much thought put into them; they're just there because it's totally random!

Also, what is a "lingger" exactly?

 

[steve007]

*This is what happens when you eat 2 blows of cookie crisp and A hafe of Tutti-fruitti rings made form Yupi candy

 

[Snailface]

*This is what happens when you eat 2 blows of cookie crisp and A hafe of Tutti-fruitti rings made form Yupi candy

Are you this guy?

 

[Gahars]

*This is what happens when you eat 2 blows of cookie crisp and A hafe of Tutti-fruitti rings made form Yupi candy

No, this is what happens when you go down on a mountain of cocaine, Scarface style.

And yes, Snailface; you hit the nail on the head.

 

[steve007]

I got the people knocking at my door but hears the issue. I can't read music (?) My words are great but the notes need to be on the paper. Is there A program to learn music and listen to the notes I need to learn Clefs , dang it I was never good at that.

 

[Hells Malice]

Learning to read music takes like 10 minutes. It's REALLY easy. Go to a music store and get a beginners book.

That wont help you though since the lyrics are morbid too.

 

[steve007]

They want me to add the notes to my words Hum.. (?)
Gary said its easy then you think see they like my words but can't find the right way to use my words LOL , It's like this they got the tones but need words I need the tones to fit my words (?) its a win win thing hear but its good to have them looking for my tones .

 

[Gahars]

...What? I'm sorry, you're completely incomprehensible at times.

But from what I think you're trying to say... no, that isn't the issue. Your lyrics need serious reworking; having a beat in mind isn't going to change that.

 

[Hells Malice]

...What? I'm sorry, you're completely incomprehensible at times.

But from what I think you're trying to say... no, that isn't the issue. Your lyrics need serious reworking; having a beat in mind isn't going to change that.

Well if he makes an insanely loud/hectic beat that drowns out the lyrics so no one can hear them...
the song might actually work.