Why men need table skirts

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by nloding, Apr 20, 2008.

  1. nloding
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    nloding GBAtemp Fan

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    According to the History Channel's History Of Sex show, table skirts were invented in the Victorian Era to prevent an unnatural union between man and furniture. They thought this might happen because they believed the mere sight of a 'limb' (read: leg) would cause uncontrollable sexual frenzy. (partial source that quotes the episode)

    So I had to Google if anyone had ever had sex with a table.

    http://www.nbc10.com/news/15734256/detail.html

    March 28, 2008 -- Man Arrested For Having Sex With Picnic Table.

    Wow.

    I don't even know where to begin. I laughed so hard my throat hurts now. He had to clean the table AND THE DECK!
     


  2. moozxy

    moozxy hamboning

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  3. scubersteve

    scubersteve Newbie

    They were probobly arrested for being nude in public.
     
  4. azotyp

    azotyp GBAtemp Maniac

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    The real question is why they write that guy was having sex, like doing that with things that arent live is rather masturbation not sex, but maybe that picnic table was alive [​IMG] maybe it had a ghost of his dead wife [​IMG] (too much japanese horrors [​IMG] ).
     
  5. nloding
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    nloding GBAtemp Fan

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    From the Telegraph articles above:

    "In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs."

    That's even better. I bet that chafes.
     
  6. xcalibur

    xcalibur Gbatemp's Chocolate Bear

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    some 16 year old got caught and charged for havng sex with a goat.
     
  7. Harsky

    Harsky Madmin

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    How the hell does that work? Does he hire a drill and then make a hole and proceed to hump it? Does he get in his car, drive slowly along the pavements and see for any defects? Does he... ah forget this.
     
  8. xcalibur

    xcalibur Gbatemp's Chocolate Bear

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    I lolled so hard, my mum asked me what was wrong.
     
  9. Westside

    Westside Sogdiana

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    [​IMG] Why didn't you tell her the reason...
    Anyway, that's disgusting...
     
  10. moozxy

    moozxy hamboning

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    The image I had in my head was one of a guy humping a drain on the pavement.
     
  11. xcalibur

    xcalibur Gbatemp's Chocolate Bear

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    But that wouldn't be the pavement would it?
     
  12. moozxy

    moozxy hamboning

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    It is in my mind. Like the way an asshole would be a part of any person, so a drain is to a pavement.
     
  13. Artheido

    Artheido GBAtemp Fan

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    I usually see drains on the side of roads o.O
     
  14. greyhound

    greyhound GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    adds new meaning to the term "curb-crawling"
     
  15. tomqman

    tomqman This Is Everyone's Fault But Mine.

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    well some kid at my old skool jacked off with a rayman ps1 game lol
     
  16. cardyology

    cardyology GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    WTF?
     
  17. Westside

    Westside Sogdiana

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    I believe he is referring to the Compact Dicks (CD) technique in where you take a CD's hole... well, you get the idea. [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  18. tomqman

    tomqman This Is Everyone's Fault But Mine.

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    lol
     
  19. moozxy

    moozxy hamboning

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    How does it fit? O.o
     
  20. tomqman

    tomqman This Is Everyone's Fault But Mine.

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    spaghetti dick and he broke the game and it wasnt even his