Why is it hard for a parent to take into consideration his/her son (or daughter) may have autism?

[Marc_LFD]

My nephew looks to have signs of autism, especially going by experts on a video, but his mother hasn't pondered that possibility nor wants to take him to an expert. He doesn't like to play with other kids or anyone (he gets angry if anyone tries to), lack of attention, screams a lot for no reason, and most recently.. he took his own poop and placed it everywhere he could.



If a child does have it, a parent just needs to accept him/her as it is.

 

[Kioku]

...because it's not easy to adapt to. For some, hearing your kids are autistic is just as hard as hearing your mother passed.

 

[JaapDaniels]

My nephew looks to have signs of autism, especially going by experts on a video, but his mother hasn't pondered that possibility nor wants to take him to an expert. He doesn't like to play with other kids or anyone (he gets angry if anyone tries to), lack of attention, screams a lot for no reason, and most recently.. he took his own poop and placed it everywhere he could.



If a child does have it, a parent just needs to accept him/her as it is.

first: it might just not be the only possible outcome,
second: every normal parent sees thier child as a special child, like when you're in love with someone. This contradicts to being disabled...

 

[djpannda]

having Family and Friends with Special Needs, I can say its difficult to deal with. Most people can't accept the fact someone that they love more than themselves have this issue, a lot of parents blame themselves( what they did or what they could of done differently ).
Of Course there is the other side where People feels shame or embasserment that other people would judge them and their loved ones because of it.
The first step is to try to talk to the parents get it looked into. as the best thing for the kids is to get specialized help early.
There are plenty of people on the spectrum that lead productive and happy life. ( don't want to say Normal, because what the fuc is normal )

 

[JaapDaniels]

having Family and Friends with Special Needs, I can say its difficult to deal with. Most people can't accept the fact someone that they love more than themselves have this issue, a lot of parents blame themselves( what they did or what they could of done differently ).
Of Course there is the other side where People feels shame or embasserment that other people would judge them and their loved ones because of it.
The first step is to try to talk to the parents get it looked into. as the best thing for the kids is to get specialized help early.
There are plenty of people on the spectrum that lead productive and happy life. ( don't want to say Normal, because what the fuc is normal )

yes you're right, i think that's why my mother still can't accept it's real me and my oldest brother got diagnossed with syndrom of asperger.
knowing the signs now, it might also be the case with my father (he's okay with that statement, but doesn't feel the need to diagnose).
For me in this, i would've liked it been diagnosed earlier, for understanding why i was different would've been much easier going through puberty.

 

[Veho]

Because autism is still heavily stigmatized in society, there are many misconceptions and a general lack of education and understanding.
Autism is viewed as a severe impairment, and an autism diagnosis is seen as life-ruining. Life sentence anyway.
Parents don't want to entertain the idea that their child has a condition they equate with retardation, and whose depictions in media are caricatures or (when depicted favorably) idiot savants (with an emphasis on "idiot").
There are more and more people opening up about their autism, many of them successful business people, actors, celebrities, content creators, and you can show your sister (brother? Sister in law?) that it's not the end of the world.

 

[The Catboy]

...because it's not easy to adapt to. For some, hearing your kids are autistic is just as hard as hearing your mother passed.

I am sorry but why?

I grew up before the greater understanding of Autism and was diagnosed with "high functioning ADHD" as a kid. It was rough being raised by people who didn't understand me or what I was going through. I was the "weird kid" and struggled with socializing growing up. It sucks how many obvious signs of being autistic weren't recognized, thus leaving me stressed out and struggling. I am honestly sad to see that Autism is still stigmatized people still continue to mistreat and ignore autistic children's needs.

 

[Kioku]

I am sorry but why?

I grew up before the greater understanding of Autism and was diagnosed with "high functioning ADHD" as a kid. It was rough being raised by people who didn't understand me or what I was going through. I was the "weird kid" and struggled with socializing growing up. It sucks how many obvious signs of being autistic weren't recognized, thus leaving me stressed out and struggling. I am honestly sad to see that Autism is still stigmatized people still continue to mistreat and ignore autistic children's needs.

I wouldn't say autistic children's needs go ignored. Let alone them being mistreated. There's a lot of uncertainty around autism. It's too broad of a spectrum for any one method of treatment or care to work. It's also not like a parent necessarily neglects their kid because they were diagnosed with some form of autism. It puts a weight on their shoulders and creates a lot of doubt. Whether it's in themselves, or the environments their children head into.

I will say that there are some (fewer than you'd expect) parents who absolutely refuse to believe their child/ren could be autistic, or special needs. It also doesn't help that since the autism spectrum is so broad, some kids can be misdiagnosed. Much like ADHD/ADD.

 

[The Catboy]

I wouldn't say autistic children's needs go ignored. Let alone them being mistreated. There's a lot of uncertainty around autism. It's too broad of a spectrum for any one method of treatment or care to work. It's also not like a parent necessarily neglects their kid because they were diagnosed with some form of autism. It puts a weight on their shoulders and creates a lot of doubt. Whether it's in themselves, or the environments their children head into.

I will say that there are some (fewer than you'd expect) parents who absolutely refuse to believe their child/ren could be autistic, or special needs.

I am not saying that this was applied to all, just too many that I've seen. I used to work in customer service jobs and would often see parents mistreating or ignoring their children, especially obvious autistic children. This wasn't supposed to be about medical treatment, more so parental treatment. This leads to your point about parents who refuse to believe their child(ren) is autistic. I might not have made that clear, I was more upset over the statement about it being like a mother dying. That seems like a bit of a harsh comparison.

 

[Kioku]

I am not saying that this was applied to all, just too many that I've seen. I used to work in customer service jobs and would often see parents mistreating or ignoring their children, especially obvious autistic children. This wasn't supposed to be about medical treatment, more so parental treatment. This leads to your point about parents who refuse to believe their child(ren) is autistic. I might not have made that clear, I was more upset over the statement about it being like a mother dying. That seems like a bit of a harsh comparison.

It's the shock, moreso than the cause of it. It'd have been easier to say that when your child is diagnosed with autism, it raises a ton of questions and uncertainty about their future and yours as a parent. It can create a level of stress which sends people in a downward spiral. Some of which don't even recover from it. Yes, parents can ignore the signs, or even pretend the diagnosis didn't happen. On the other side of that coin, other parents can over correct. They know their child is autistic, but choose to believe they're just a normal child in a normal world. I've seen my fair share of it, and now working with special needs kids I see a lot more of the darker stuff than I care to admit.

 

[The Catboy]

It's the shock, moreso than the cause of it. It'd have been easier to say that when your child is diagnosed with autism, it raises a ton of questions and uncertainty about their future and yours as a parent. It can create a level of stress which sends people in a downward spiral. Some of which don't even recover from it. Yes, parents can ignore the signs, or even pretend the diagnosis didn't happen. On the other side of that coin, other parents can over correct. They know their child is autistic, but choose to believe they're just a normal child in a normal world. I've seen my fair share of it, and now working with special needs kids I see a lot more of the darker stuff than I care to admit.

Ah, thank you for clarifying. I honestly don't interact with enough parents to know the details of what happens when a parent hears this news.
IDK, kind of rubbed me the wrong way but mostly because it hit a personal nerve.

 

[SonowRaevius]

Sadly, it is because of a societal view of how anything that is "Abnormal" is equated to be something negative that should be feared and shamed, and anything about mental health is still heavily stigmatized in our world.

We have come a long way since the days when families would literally hide those that were even crippled in their family, but we still have a long to go.

 

[Kioku]

Ah, thank you for clarifying. I honestly don't interact with enough parents to know the details of what happens when a parent hears this news.
IDK, kind of rubbed me the wrong way but mostly because it hit a personal nerve.

All good. I was half asleep when I wrote that first response. Now, it does seem inappropriate as a comparison.

 

[Bonovox40]

It is a strange social response that generally (IMO) is still considered negative. My sister has been a SPED teacher for years. Has a teen autistic kid (likely high functioning Asperger) yet has not had him diagnosed, or knows but refuses to acknowledge this. (or has and kept it secret)

I am not educated in autism diagnosis but my wife is, and she diagnosed him years ago, and every year it's more obvious, even to myself. He's a good kid and deals with stuff overall, but I think he could have access to support/services that can help him cope socially better, than just ignoring the elephant in the room. Just weird because it is her education/job yet she won't admit this probably because of social stigmata.

 

[Lv44ES_Burner]

Simply put, a lot of cultural stigma exists around those with mental impairment. It's emotionally crushing as a parent to have your child diagnosed with a mental disorder; be it ADHD, different functional levels of autism (including Asperger's Syndrome), or more severely, something like cerebral palsy or Down Syndrome.

To know and see that your precious child is vulnerable and will need specialized care when you had high hopes for them growing up around other children and experiencing a better life than what you may have grown up with is a tall order for quite a few parents.

Some parents just want their kids to be normal. It doesn't always work.

 

[Coto]

If I were to add anything, you'd need to somehow educate your nephew so he'd develop tools to face social issues. Martial Arts when your nephew is old enough (at least 9-10~ years old) because society usually sucks at detecting what may not be something negative, also being highly influential, can even worsen the outcome of it. I'm pretty sure a kid who can defend himself wisely can eventually handle social issues much better than somebody who doesn't, also he'd make good friends along the way and possibly cope with the social issues gradually.

 

[Dr_Faustus]

Because if something is wrong with their kid its easy to blame external forces than the fact that its biological and not something they can do to change it. That's why shit like Anti-Vax is a thing, they do not want to take responsibility and would rather scream out into the world about how something fucked up their child and put all their attention and resources into fighting that than actually understanding their child's issues and being there for them as an actual parent.


Quite a few years back when I worked in a Movie theater a horrible movie came out called "Vaxxed" which was being shown in limited event only showings sparsely throughout the country, with my theater of course being one of the few unlucky ones on the list to have a showing late one night. The people that came to see this movie were mostly parents of small kids (most of which had their kids with them) and came to this showing via a bus they rented. Supposedly most of them that came on this bus was out of state and it was the closest theater they could get to within a few hours. After the movie was over and everyone left the theater (this was at near midnight and we were closing up the theater since it was a Tuesday night) we saw everyone outside of the theater just talk for a good 40+ minutes hanging out while their kids were cold and crying because how late it was in the night, a school night no less, during November.

If this does not give you an indication as to how parents act when they do not want to be wrong or take responsibility properly, this should enlighten you on just how shitty some parents can be. Especially those who believe this horseshit.

 

[CosmoCortney]

I can only suggest getting him checked asap. If diagnosed he might receive help/support and better consideration in the future. I was diagnosed when I was 17, which is really late. My time at school was really difficult for me. Teachers and other students mistreated me for the way I am and this might be the reason I have developed some personality disorder. I'm not saying he will experience the same, but with an early diagnosis, I could have had a different and easier school career without being treated like shit. The earlier the diagnosis the better and life might be easier for him and his parents.