You can't ask for non free ROMs. We can help you with patches though.
DSATM is more for hardcoding cheats into a ROM than a patch in the sense that most thing of it. Do you have the cheats you want to use with it so we can see what they are?
Alternatively what patch are you trying to use? It might be that you are not applying it properly, or using the wrong tool.
humour is subjective.. if you dont see the humour, we have to at least recognise the attempted pretext of it within the social commentary its giving...