What did I die of?

[Hadrian]

omg hadrian how could you do this to me i love you but lets just be friends i wont make you watch beatles anymore

Beatles would've been fine, but seriously...move on! Sure I was amazing but you said Doctor Who was stupid and that The US version of Ring 2 was brilliant, YOU SAID MARIO KART SNES WAS OLD AND BORING you really expect me to want to know you? Huh?

 

[sasuke_kun12]

you died of elephantitus (a disease where you get MASSIVE testicles), you got soo freaked out that you stabbed your ball sack coz you thought it was full of pus. Then you die of shock and loss of blood

 

[Icarus]

Have sex with her. Isn't that what she wants ?

 

[BakuFunn]

wtf?

 

[Hadrian]

Have sex with her. Isn't that what she wants ?

I wouldn't, lagman would forever lag my wfc..even worse than what Nintendo does.

 

[Lee79]

A beginners guide to faking your death on the internet video

 

[BlueStar]

Bad AIDS.

 

[BakuFunn]

LoL

 

[jimmy j]

Why pretend you died? Grow some balls, man! ;D

Tell her you're in a good relationship and you really care for this girl. Also tell her not to try messing you around or you'll end up telling her to fuck off for good! It worked for me. My ex hasn't tried any shit for 4 years

 

[BakuFunn]

or you can get a restraining order.
Or go the hard way and murder her o.O

 

[cubin']

just get a restraining and no contact order dude. she sounds like the kind of bitch that would go crazy if she found out you faked your own death

 

[pkprostudio]

Do it the Edgeworth style.

 

[Rayder]

Yeah, I was about to suggest a restraining order too. At least with one of those, you aren't creating a bunch of lies to get caught up in, and it forces the psycho-biatch to stay away.


Besides, if you're dead, who would keep us updated on upcoming releases?

 

[phoood]

AND there were no red, blaring alarms going off the whole time you were dating?!?

 

[Szyslak]

The fake your own death approach. I assume some form of legal recourse is not on the cards.

For someone as crazy as you say it could be hard as it could well be investigated to some degree.
The old staple of car accident would be hard to pull off as it would likely gain some paper coverage.
"Natural causes" may be a bit hard to swallow as you are not that old.
Drugs are a good one but I would not.
Anything that would require hospital treatment (serious household accident for example) may also garner some attention so I would not go that.

You need a way that is plausible and hard to investigate, sports accident in Greece (or somewhere that uses a character set that is not roman). If you want to go a step further babelfish your own "local" rag for Greece and attach it to the mail.

Get a fake obit as well in your local rag (or your hometowns or hers whichever you reckon is best).
Possibly an email from "those you left behind" detailed a closed service but ashes being scattered a wherever you deem appropriate.

Good luck.

I love how well thought out that is. It's almost like you've had that answer ready for this question for quite some time.

/jots down "remember to PM FAST6191 for advice before your next crime"

 

[Hiratai]

It wont work when she gets a new number and calls you, Unless you become paranoid and don't pick up for anyone.

 

[Gilrad]

Just be a dick to her.

Some simple rules:

1) Never forget to mention she's fat and/or unattractive at least once every encounter.

2) Never forget to tell her to get lost and leave you alone at least five times every encounter.

3) Whenever applicable, be sure to act incredibly interested in any female except for her.

4) Whenever applicable, completely ignore anything she tells you.

 

[juggernaut911]

heart attack, stroke, artery bursted/bleed to death, I like the car accident one though

 

[BakuFunn]

say you're gay

 

[Hadrian]

Why pretend you died? Grow some balls, man! ;D

Tell her you're in a good relationship and you really care for this girl. Also tell her not to try messing you around or you'll end up telling her to fuck off for good! It worked for me. My ex hasn't tried any shit for 4 years

Told her that a while back. My girlfriend told her too.

Anyway I've got a new sim card for free so I've changed my number, my phone is ex directory and she doesn't even know where I moved to so I'm good I reckon and if she finds me on any sites then I'll just carry on ignoring her.

Nice hearing some recommendations of fake deathery.