'Twas the night before Tempmas

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by SkankyYankee, Dec 24, 2010.

  1. SkankyYankee
    OP

    SkankyYankee GBAtemp Advanced Skank

    Member
    1
    Mar 16, 2008
    United States
    In front of the PC
    'Twas the night before Tempmas, when all through the site

    Not a temper was posting, not even mthrnite;

    The posts were modded in the forums with care,

    In hopes that Santa P1ng soon would be there;

    The noobs were nestled in their pokemon threads,

    While visions of patches danced in their heads;

    PG in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

    Had just settled down for a long winter's fap,

    When out on the EOF there arose such a clatter,

    I sprang to the thread to see what was the matter.

    Away to the web I flew like a flash,

    Put on the monitor and the keyboard i mashed.

    The girl on the cover of the new-released game

    Gave the guise of interest but was otherwise lame,

    When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

    But a miniature sleigh, with truck nutz on the rear,

    With a little old driver, so lively and stringy,

    I knew in a moment it must be Santa P1ngy.

    More rapid than eagles his shouts they came,

    And he cursed, and trolled, and called them by name;

    "Now, Vulpes! now, Westside! now, Chancer and Gadrian!

    On, WildWon! on Monkat! on, granville and Nadrian!

    Till the end of the world! till the end of it all!

    Now fear me or i will pwn you all!"

    As dry leaves that before the P1ng hurricane fly,

    When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

    So up to the house-top like rockets it flew,

    With the sleigh full of carts, and Santa Ping too.

    And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

    The footsteps of that little goof.

    As I fapped in my bed, and was pulling pud,

    Down the chimney Santa P1ng came with a thud.

    He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

    And his clothes were all stained with furry blood and soot;

    A bundle of carts he had flung on his back,

    And he looked like a hustler just opening his sack.

    his eyes -- how they rolled! his stare how scary!

    His cheeks were chisled, his face was hairy!

    His Pimp cane was drawn up like a bow,

    Ready to strike on any stank ass ho;

    The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

    packed with dank bud and topped with keif;

    He had a skinny face and a little round belly,

    That shook, when he molested ny bowlful of jelly.

    He was skinny and short, a right jolly old elf,

    And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

    A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

    he cracked me in the skull and left me for dead;

    He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

    And took all my shit; then ran like a jerk,

    And laying his finger aside of his nose,

    And flipping me off, up the chimney he rose;

    He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

    And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

    But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

    "Happy Tempmas to all, and to all a good-night."​
     
  2. naglaro00

    naglaro00 Mildly disturbed

    Member
    2
    Jun 5, 2009
    Pulse
    tl;dr
     
  3. Ryukouki

    Ryukouki See you later, guys.

    Member
    11
    Jan 31, 2008
    United States
    I got to the fapping part and stopped.
     
  4. CarbonX13

    CarbonX13 GBAtemp 台灣人

    Member
    1
    Aug 27, 2010
    Taiwan
    Vancouver, B.C.
    I shed a tear.
     
  5. person66

    person66 If it isn't edited, it isn't a true person66 post

    Member
    3
    Jun 16, 2009
    Canada
    Canada
    That made me lol

    How long did it take you?
     
  6. Warrior522

    Warrior522 "In all things, balance."

    Member
    2
    Jul 21, 2010
    United States
    *sniff*

    That was beautiful.

    Warning: Spoilers inside!
     
  7. monkat

    monkat I'd like to see you TRY to ban me. (Should I try?.

    Banned
    0
    May 21, 2009
    United States
    Virginia
    Wow...I'm famous enough to be mentioned in a list of mods?

    Coolios!

    That was pretty monkat damned epic, though!
     
  8. ineap09

    ineap09 GBAtemp Regular

    Member
    2
    Nov 18, 2010
    Guyana
    Many places. O_O MemeLove: 4/5
    This is hilarious! [​IMG]
     
  9. Shinigami357

    Shinigami357 Current "give a fuck" level: Honey Badger

    Member
    2
    Jul 29, 2010
    A Masterpiece of Poetry. Bravo!
     
  10. narutofan777

    narutofan777 GBAtemp Advanced Fan

    Member
    2
    Mar 27, 2010
    Afghanistan
    whoa. WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
    WWWWw
     
  11. ProtoKun7

    ProtoKun7 GBAtemp Time Lord Regenerations: 4

    Former Staff
    7
    Jan 3, 2009
    United Kingdom
    Gallifrey
    Not specifically a list of mods.
     
  12. SkankyYankee
    OP

    SkankyYankee GBAtemp Advanced Skank

    Member
    1
    Mar 16, 2008
    United States
    In front of the PC
    About 20 mins. I was in a rush


    Im glad you all liked it. I wanted to add to the Tempmas spirit in EOF fashon. Im glad it wasn't bad enough to get warned/banned.

    PKs right i just put the names of prominent tempers i could remember off hand.

    Merry Tempmas everyone! [​IMG]
     
  13. EpicJungle

    EpicJungle stop browbeating me can't you see i'm sexy

    Member
    2
    Aug 28, 2009
    Canada
    THAT WAS SOOO FUNNY!!!
    Amazing! Bravo!

    P.S.
    Merrrrrry Tempmas!!
     
  14. monkat

    monkat I'd like to see you TRY to ban me. (Should I try?.

    Banned
    0
    May 21, 2009
    United States
    Virginia
    I know...but it was at least half (not looking back, damn it!)
     
Loading...