Time for a sad, sad, sad true story......

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by GBAFail, Apr 2, 2016.

  1. GBAFail
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    GBAFail Smell my finger.

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    Everyday I wake up guys. Usually I masturbate. But sometimes I don't have enough toilet paper, sometimes we just don't have enough. So I have to resort to cleaning it up with my shirt and..... I have to wear that shirt for the rest of the day. Because I don't actually have a lot of clothing.... Because I don't normally leave the house. So I have very little to work with. I get donated thousand upon thousands of dollars from dumb asses. Who for some reason think I deserve it or have some sort of need for it. It makes no sense to me. But it's a really, really hard life. A lot of the time my friends ask me for money, like my black friend. My brother tends to steal my wallet. Ya'know? It's really tough. Really tough, having as much money as I do. It really doesn't help that there's semen on my shirt every single day too. I have a nice bed to sleep on, I have a lot of friends, and my family loves me very much. It's a tough life. It's hard. I appreciate all the nice things my friends and family say to me, but my life is more difficult then yours is. It's really, really hard to deal with it. I don't know how I do it. I'm impressed with myself. I'm impressed. I have a GTX 960 GPU with an i7 processor. I have another with a GTX 680. Where am I even going to put these things? Does it look like I have room? I don't. There's just no room. For such amazing, expensive equipment like that. I've got three monitors, two more in fact at my other house. Sometimes my blanket... It's too comfortable. Sometimes I'm in a really bad mood. I don't want a comfortable blanket. I have to much money and to good of a life to buy a cheap one. So I have to deal with my expensive $400 blanket. Sometimes my pillows are too comfortable. I don't own a fleshlight either. I get too embarrassed if I go to a store to buy a fleshlight because there's always a girl cashier. It's always a girl. Even if I got one, I'd have to clean that thing. It might not even fit correctly. I have an abnormally small penis of two inches. That's with Viagra motherfucker and Viagra adds a couple inches to it. That's what I have to work with. I masturbate five times a day, play WoW, and eat very little. Because I'm just not hungry. The worst part, the worst part about it all... is... is it's really hard. For me, as a person. Thanks for reading my story. I hope this gives you the strength to carry on.
     
    Last edited by GBAFail, Apr 2, 2016
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  2. ComeTurismO

    ComeTurismO CTO

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    TL;DR
     
  3. GBAFail
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    GBAFail Smell my finger.

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    It doesn't work if it's short.
     
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  4. Edrian

    Edrian Ello

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    kek
     
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  5. Games&Stuff

    Games&Stuff GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    WoW just WoW
     
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  6. GBAFail
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    GBAFail Smell my finger.

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    Here's a video version of this (finished ver). :P
     
    Last edited by GBAFail, Apr 2, 2016
  7. Seriel

    Seriel Worshipper of Skiddos

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    eh wat
     
  8. GBAFail
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    GBAFail Smell my finger.

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    What don't you get?
     
  9. Minnow

    Minnow GBAtemp Fan

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    TL;DR
     
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  10. GBAFail
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    GBAFail Smell my finger.

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    Video version above too. :P
     
  11. Minnow

    Minnow GBAtemp Fan

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    o
     
  12. mgrev

    mgrev Music Addict, Video Game Fanatic

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    actually read it. the fuck was that?
     
  13. GBAFail
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    GBAFail Smell my finger.

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    I don't get what you don't understand about it.
     
  14. mgrev

    mgrev Music Addict, Video Game Fanatic

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    i understand what you wrote, but it was pointless. Makes me feel like Sir. Hammerlock when he meets Claptrap.
     
  15. GBAFail
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    GBAFail Smell my finger.

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    The joke is the person thinks their problems are super important when they don't really have problems at all.
     
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  16. mgrev

    mgrev Music Addict, Video Game Fanatic

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    yes.
     
  17. Pleng

    Pleng GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

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    That isn't a joke
     
  18. GBAFail
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    GBAFail Smell my finger.

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    You're right. It's the punchline. The entire thing is the punchline.
     
  19. GhostLatte

    GhostLatte Yet Another Shitposter

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    When I was young, my Uncle Roy shared a beer with me. I drank it. I was so excited, I fell asleep. I must have tossed and turned something fierce because when I woke up, my pants were off. I never saw much of Uncle Roy after that. Turns out we weren't even related.
     
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  20. TheGrayShow1467

    TheGrayShow1467 屈折

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    sexually confused?
     
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