C = Customer M = Me R = Chell K = Manager CK = Customer's Kid So I was at the registers today, ringing people up, when someone behind me at the next register pipes up. CK: Hey mom, look behind you! That lady's got an unsold DS! Can I have it? (I turn around to look, as I'm the only person in the store with a DS. The kid's pointing at my DS) C: Excuse me, how much is that Game Boy? I'd like to buy it for my son. M: What? Wait, this is MY DS. It's not for sale. C: Oh, do you need to restock it first? M: This is a grocery store, ma'am. We do not sell Nintendo DS systems. C: Oh, come on, I know you took that from someone who didn't want it. If you aren't going to sell it, let us have it. M: This is mine. You can't have it and I refuse to sell it to you. C: Call your manager. Right now. I can't believe you're refusing to sell anything to me. (The manager is called and comes forth.) K: What seems to be the problem? C: This girl is incompetent! She's refusing to sell me something because she's going to take it later for free! She said it's because I'm a poor Native American! (Note: She looked Mexican, not Native American, and her purse alone was probably worth $200 so she definitely wasn't poor) K: Alright, I'll fix this. Sora, tell me your side of the story. M: She wanted to buy my Nintendo DS from the store. (At this point, the customer's kid sneaks between us and snatches the DS, then proceeds to run for the exit) CK: MOM! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE! I'LL PAY LATER! (Chell walks in to grab a few things. She's in her Android GLaDOS costume. Before the boy can get out of the store, she notices he has my DS, which has a big and obvious glittery sticker on it that she herself stuck there.) R: Oh no you don't! (Chell somehow manages to grab the boy by the DS and twist it out of his hand fast enough that he's running away without it before he realizes it's gone. She hands the DS back to me and pulls out her phone to call the police. She intimidates the boy into sticking around, mostly due to her costume.) C: Why the hell are you doing that?! My boy said he would pay for it later! K: You're stealing employee property. C: It was being sold! R: Dumb bitch, it's dinged up and has a big ol' sticker on it! How the hell do you think it was being sold in this store?! (Note: The entire time, she's been in character as GLaDOS, and broke character just to say this) C: SHUT THE FUCK UP! (The customer takes a swing at Chell. She's hit.) The police come and get everyone's stories. The customer and her kid are banned from the store. The officer told us that the customer was trying to get us all arrested by pulling the race and gender cards, as well as claiming her son was assaulted and that the store was selling used merchandise. However, security cameras prove otherwise. Chell's pressing charges at the woman for physically attacking her. My manager gives Chell a $10 credit in the store for the inconvenience. Just to freak them out, Chell escorted them out with the officer while reciting (in robotic monotone) some choice GLaDOS dialogue.