The truth about CATVID 19

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hey dudes welcome back to another episode of the EOF. Don't forget to smash that like button and HIT THE NOTIFICATION BELL.

before we begin, don't forget to thank our sponsor RAID SHADOW LEGENDS, THE BEST GAME EVER.

and shoutout to skillshare for their SUPER RADICAL tutorials

now, let's get to the good stuff

you might have realized that we're all in quarantine. shocking, i know. but there's something the government doesn't want you to know about this whole "pandemic". they think they can brainwash us with their corona vaccine, but guess what sheeple, do you really think the government WANTS us to get better? NO. they want to control us through the vaccine. so I'm here to provide the REAL CURE.

For just 30 payments of 69.99, you can finally be healed and protected from corona, naturally.

skeptical? for this limited time only, you can get a free taste of the CURE.



yes, you see, the truth is, the all natural homeopathic cure to covid-19 is catvid-19. watching tons of cat videos will bless you with corona killing antibodies. so, be sure to buy as many as many cat videos as you can to protect your family today!!!!!
 

Stealphie

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hey dudes welcome back to another episode of the EOF. Don't forget to smash that like button and HIT THE NOTIFICATION BELL.

before we begin, don't forget to thank our sponsor RAID SHADOW LEGENDS, THE BEST GAME EVER.

and shoutout to skillshare for their SUPER RADICAL tutorials

now, let's get to the good stuff

you might have realized that we're all in quarantine. shocking, i know. but there's something the government doesn't want you to know about this whole "pandemic". they think they can brainwash us with their corona vaccine, but guess what sheeple, do you really think the government WANTS us to get better? NO. they want to control us through the vaccine. so I'm here to provide the REAL CURE.

For just 30 payments of 69.99, you can finally be healed and protected from corona, naturally.

skeptical? for this limited time only, you can get a free taste of the CURE.



yes, you see, the truth is, the all natural homeopathic cure to covid-19 is catvid-19. watching tons of cat videos will bless you with corona killing antibodies. so, be sure to buy as many as many cat videos as you can to protect your family today!!!!!

I can watch unlimited cat videos because I have a cat
HA
I TRICKED THE SYSTEM
 

AmandaRose

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:angry face:
Why be angry at something that is the truth lol a dog will give you unconditional love and is happy to get petted or plsy games ect 24/7. A cat only wants to give love and be petted on their own terms. Therefore cats are evil selfish bastards :rofl2:
 
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Mama Looigi

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Why be angry at something that is the truth lol a dog will give you unconditional love and is happy to get petted or plsy games ect 24/7. A cat only wants to give love and be petted on their own terms. Therefore cats are evil selfish bastards :rofl2:
Just because they don’t give you love it doesn’t mean they hate everyone! ;O; it just means cats hate you! ;-; :rofl:




Dogs can be mean tooooooooo...
 

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Here are my totally made up facts stolen from someone else into why cats are evil lol.


Cats don't understand 'no'


Let's be real here. Cats have an attitude problem. No other animals are as moody, temperamental or as difficult to please as cats. You might think you're investing all that time and energy into building a beautiful relationship with your pet. You aren't. Your cat has absolutely no interest in you as a person. You won't be able to train your cat, and they don't have any loyalty to you. This is because cats are naturally unresponsive to punishment; they only respond to praise and rewards. So no matter how many times you spray Mr Bojangles with water for clawing the sofa, he'll never learn.

Cats are arrogant

They definitely have a bad attitude, but even worse, they think they're better than you. They prance around like they own the place, peeing everywhere and expecting you to clean it up for them. They know you will wait on them hand and foot and provide them with a constant supply of food. If a human treated you like that, would you accept it? Of course not.

Cats are manipulative

You probably know that cats purr. An interesting fact that you might not know is that cats also have a “cry” which they use to manipulate humans. This cry is strikingly similar to the cry of a baby or a small child, and humans are programmed to respond to this and try to help. If anything, this proves that even cats know they are evil creatures, and they have to impersonate our children to try and manipulate us into doing their bidding.

Cats make you more stupid

Okay, it’s not cats themselves that make you more stupid. It’s the cat videos. The average person has probably spent 7,638 hours watching cat videos. And by spent, I mean wasted. What do you have to show for those hours? Maybe a shortcut to the cutest cat video on the internet, but nothing of real value. You could have read 300 life-changing books in that time, gone on 47 enlightening walks through nature, had countless deep and meaningful conversations with friends and family. It’s not the internet that is ruining our brains, it’s cat videos. Mindless, dull, repetitive and completely devoid of any value, these are the bane of my life and I can’t understand why anyone wants to waste their time watching them.

Cats won’t make eye contact with you

If they accidentally do lock eyes with you, they will blink and narrow their eyes in an evil-villian-caught-in-the-midst-of-a-dastardly-plan-type way. If that’s not sketchy, I don’t know what is.

Cats think you are completely incapable

That’s right, cats think you are stupid. They hunt and bring you dead animals (we’ll get to their sadistic, murderous instincts in a moment), because they think you are too stupid to catch a bird or a mouse on your own. So, not only do you want to share your bed with an oversized rodent, you praise it for bringing smaller, dead (or half-dead) rodents into your house. Nice.

Cats are the favoured pets of witches

Everyone knows witch + broomstick + black cat. And if Disney has taught us anything, it's that witches are inherently evil and don't just want to put a spell on you, they want to kill you (Sleeping Beauty wouldn't have been much of story if Maleficent had done her job properly). Enter cats. The perfect heartless sidekick; they don't care whether you live or die, as long as they're getting some tuna at the end of it.

Cats are murdering monsters

As mentioned above, they like to kill other animals. For fun. Considering cat lovers are so vocal about their love for all things cute and fluffy, it seems strange that people are happy to ignore the fact that cats are tyrants who pick on mice, birds and other creatures. Not only do they kill them (to arrogantly show you that they’re better than you), they usually play with their prey, torturing the poor animals before a slow and painful death. That doesn't sound like cute kitty behaviour to me. That sounds more like ISIS-style terrorism.

Cats think they own you

At this point some of you may be declaring that cats love to cuddle you, and love to have their bellies rubbed, and that they brush up against you because they are just oh-so affectionate. Wrong. Cats, like a lot of animals, release scents, and these scents send signals to other cats and other animals. Essentially, when a cat is rubbing up against you or lying in your lap, it doesn't want affection, it is marking you as its property. Yup, you just got owned.

Cats make you clean up their crap

How many cat poops have you seen in the wild? Exactly. That's because in the wild, cats dig holes to bury their business. This is because they don't want to challenge the dominant cat on his own turf, so it's a way of admitting who's boss. Any cat that leaves its poop out is saying, "I'm the alpha here, I don't think anyone here can challenge me." So next time you're cleaning up Snowball's poop, just think about what he's really saying to you.

Cats idolise snakes

Between all that purring and meowing, people conveniently forget that cats also hiss. Just like the stick insect pretends to be a stick to disguise itself from predators, cats also use this technique, called mimicry, to try and put off predators. Most animals, big or small, are scared of snakes, which is why cats send their ears back, hiss and spit, in an attempt to mimic a venomous snake. NBD, just worth noting that cats aspire to be an animal THAT CAN KILL YOU.

Cats think humans absolutely stink


Oh you thought cats were very clean and sanitary, considering it looks like they are always grooming themselves? Not quite. When they lick their paws, and their fur, and everywhere else for that matter, they aren't trying to give themselves a bath, they just want rid of the disgusting stench of human. Truth hurts.

Conclusion: stay away from cats

I'm not saying people shouldn't love their pets. I'm just saying cats aren't as wonderful as everyone makes them out to be. Cats themselves no doubt orchestrated this whole obsession in their quest for world domination, but it's time we put them back in their place.
 
Last edited by AmandaRose,

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Here are my totally made up facts stolen from someone else into why cats are evil lol.


Cats don't understand 'no'


Let's be real here. Cats have an attitude problem. No other animals are as moody, temperamental or as difficult to please as cats. You might think you're investing all that time and energy into building a beautiful relationship with your pet. You aren't. Your cat has absolutely no interest in you as a person. You won't be able to train your cat, and they don't have any loyalty to you. This is because cats are naturally unresponsive to punishment; they only respond to praise and rewards. So no matter how many times you spray Mr Bojangles with water for clawing the sofa, he'll never learn.

Cats are arrogant

They definitely have a bad attitude, but even worse, they think they're better than you. They prance around like they own the place, peeing everywhere and expecting you to clean it up for them. They know you will wait on them hand and foot and provide them with a constant supply of food. If a human treated you like that, would you accept it? Of course not.

Cats are manipulative

You probably know that cats purr. An interesting fact that you might not know is that cats also have a “cry” which they use to manipulate humans. This cry is strikingly similar to the cry of a baby or a small child, and humans are programmed to respond to this and try to help. If anything, this proves that even cats know they are evil creatures, and they have to impersonate our children to try and manipulate us into doing their bidding.

Cats make you more stupid

Okay, it’s not cats themselves that make you more stupid. It’s the cat videos. The average person has probably spent 7,638 hours watching cat videos. And by spent, I mean wasted. What do you have to show for those hours? Maybe a shortcut to the cutest cat video on the internet, but nothing of real value. You could have read 300 life-changing books in that time, gone on 47 enlightening walks through nature, had countless deep and meaningful conversations with friends and family. It’s not the internet that is ruining our brains, it’s cat videos. Mindless, dull, repetitive and completely devoid of any value, these are the bane of my life and I can’t understand why anyone wants to waste their time watching them.

Cats won’t make eye contact with you

If they accidentally do lock eyes with you, they will blink and narrow their eyes in an evil-villian-caught-in-the-midst-of-a-dastardly-plan-type way. If that’s not sketchy, I don’t know what is.

Cats think you are completely incapable

That’s right, cats think you are stupid. They hunt and bring you dead animals (we’ll get to their sadistic, murderous instincts in a moment), because they think you are too stupid to catch a bird or a mouse on your own. So, not only do you want to share your bed with an oversized rodent, you praise it for bringing smaller, dead (or half-dead) rodents into your house. Nice.

Cats are the favoured pets of witches

Everyone knows witch + broomstick + black cat. And if Disney has taught us anything, it's that witches are inherently evil and don't just want to put a spell on you, they want to kill you (Sleeping Beauty wouldn't have been much of story if Maleficent had done her job properly). Enter cats. The perfect heartless sidekick; they don't care whether you live or die, as long as they're getting some tuna at the end of it.

Cats are murdering monsters

As mentioned above, they like to kill other animals. For fun. Considering cat lovers are so vocal about their love for all things cute and fluffy, it seems strange that people are happy to ignore the fact that cats are tyrants who pick on mice, birds and other creatures. Not only do they kill them (to arrogantly show you that they’re better than you), they usually play with their prey, torturing the poor animals before a slow and painful death. That doesn't sound like cute kitty behaviour to me. That sounds more like ISIS-style terrorism.

Cats think they own you

At this point some of you may be declaring that cats love to cuddle you, and love to have their bellies rubbed, and that they brush up against you because they are just oh-so affectionate. Wrong. Cats, like a lot of animals, release scents, and these scents send signals to other cats and other animals. Essentially, when a cat is rubbing up against you or lying in your lap, it doesn't want affection, it is marking you as its property. Yup, you just got owned.

Cats make you clean up their crap

How many cat poops have you seen in the wild? Exactly. That's because in the wild, cats dig holes to bury their business. This is because they don't want to challenge the dominant cat on his own turf, so it's a way of admitting who's boss. Any cat that leaves its poop out is saying, "I'm the alpha here, I don't think anyone here can challenge me." So next time you're cleaning up Snowball's poop, just think about what he's really saying to you.

Cats idolise snakes

Between all that purring and meowing, people conveniently forget that cats also hiss. Just like the stick insect pretends to be a stick to disguise itself from predators, cats also use this technique, called mimicry, to try and put off predators. Most animals, big or small, are scared of snakes, which is why cats send their ears back, hiss and spit, in an attempt to mimic a venomous snake. NBD, just worth noting that cats aspire to be an animal THAT CAN KILL YOU.

Cats think humans absolutely stink

Oh you thought cats were very clean and sanitary, considering it looks like they are always grooming themselves? Not quite. When they lick their paws, and their fur, and everywhere else for that matter, they aren't trying to give themselves a bath, they just want rid of the disgusting stench of human. Truth hurts.

Conclusion: stay away from cats

I'm not saying people shouldn't love their pets. I'm just saying cats aren't as wonderful as everyone makes them out to be. Cats themselves no doubt orchestrated this whole obsession in their quest for world domination, but it's time we put them back in their place.
What the hell did cats do to you? XD

..."Cats think humans absolutely stink"
YOU'RE TRYNA PROVE RIGHT NOW THAT CATS STINK! ;O;
 

DinohScene

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Here are my totally made up facts stolen from someone else into why cats are evil lol.


Cats don't understand 'no'


Let's be real here. Cats have an attitude problem. No other animals are as moody, temperamental or as difficult to please as cats. You might think you're investing all that time and energy into building a beautiful relationship with your pet. You aren't. Your cat has absolutely no interest in you as a person. You won't be able to train your cat, and they don't have any loyalty to you. This is because cats are naturally unresponsive to punishment; they only respond to praise and rewards. So no matter how many times you spray Mr Bojangles with water for clawing the sofa, he'll never learn.

Cats are arrogant

They definitely have a bad attitude, but even worse, they think they're better than you. They prance around like they own the place, peeing everywhere and expecting you to clean it up for them. They know you will wait on them hand and foot and provide them with a constant supply of food. If a human treated you like that, would you accept it? Of course not.

Cats are manipulative

You probably know that cats purr. An interesting fact that you might not know is that cats also have a “cry” which they use to manipulate humans. This cry is strikingly similar to the cry of a baby or a small child, and humans are programmed to respond to this and try to help. If anything, this proves that even cats know they are evil creatures, and they have to impersonate our children to try and manipulate us into doing their bidding.

Cats make you more stupid

Okay, it’s not cats themselves that make you more stupid. It’s the cat videos. The average person has probably spent 7,638 hours watching cat videos. And by spent, I mean wasted. What do you have to show for those hours? Maybe a shortcut to the cutest cat video on the internet, but nothing of real value. You could have read 300 life-changing books in that time, gone on 47 enlightening walks through nature, had countless deep and meaningful conversations with friends and family. It’s not the internet that is ruining our brains, it’s cat videos. Mindless, dull, repetitive and completely devoid of any value, these are the bane of my life and I can’t understand why anyone wants to waste their time watching them.

Cats won’t make eye contact with you

If they accidentally do lock eyes with you, they will blink and narrow their eyes in an evil-villian-caught-in-the-midst-of-a-dastardly-plan-type way. If that’s not sketchy, I don’t know what is.

Cats think you are completely incapable

That’s right, cats think you are stupid. They hunt and bring you dead animals (we’ll get to their sadistic, murderous instincts in a moment), because they think you are too stupid to catch a bird or a mouse on your own. So, not only do you want to share your bed with an oversized rodent, you praise it for bringing smaller, dead (or half-dead) rodents into your house. Nice.

Cats are the favoured pets of witches

Everyone knows witch + broomstick + black cat. And if Disney has taught us anything, it's that witches are inherently evil and don't just want to put a spell on you, they want to kill you (Sleeping Beauty wouldn't have been much of story if Maleficent had done her job properly). Enter cats. The perfect heartless sidekick; they don't care whether you live or die, as long as they're getting some tuna at the end of it.

Cats are murdering monsters

As mentioned above, they like to kill other animals. For fun. Considering cat lovers are so vocal about their love for all things cute and fluffy, it seems strange that people are happy to ignore the fact that cats are tyrants who pick on mice, birds and other creatures. Not only do they kill them (to arrogantly show you that they’re better than you), they usually play with their prey, torturing the poor animals before a slow and painful death. That doesn't sound like cute kitty behaviour to me. That sounds more like ISIS-style terrorism.

Cats think they own you

At this point some of you may be declaring that cats love to cuddle you, and love to have their bellies rubbed, and that they brush up against you because they are just oh-so affectionate. Wrong. Cats, like a lot of animals, release scents, and these scents send signals to other cats and other animals. Essentially, when a cat is rubbing up against you or lying in your lap, it doesn't want affection, it is marking you as its property. Yup, you just got owned.

Cats make you clean up their crap

How many cat poops have you seen in the wild? Exactly. That's because in the wild, cats dig holes to bury their business. This is because they don't want to challenge the dominant cat on his own turf, so it's a way of admitting who's boss. Any cat that leaves its poop out is saying, "I'm the alpha here, I don't think anyone here can challenge me." So next time you're cleaning up Snowball's poop, just think about what he's really saying to you.

Cats idolise snakes

Between all that purring and meowing, people conveniently forget that cats also hiss. Just like the stick insect pretends to be a stick to disguise itself from predators, cats also use this technique, called mimicry, to try and put off predators. Most animals, big or small, are scared of snakes, which is why cats send their ears back, hiss and spit, in an attempt to mimic a venomous snake. NBD, just worth noting that cats aspire to be an animal THAT CAN KILL YOU.

Cats think humans absolutely stink


Oh you thought cats were very clean and sanitary, considering it looks like they are always grooming themselves? Not quite. When they lick their paws, and their fur, and everywhere else for that matter, they aren't trying to give themselves a bath, they just want rid of the disgusting stench of human. Truth hurts.

Conclusion: stay away from cats

I'm not saying people shouldn't love their pets. I'm just saying cats aren't as wonderful as everyone makes them out to be. Cats themselves no doubt orchestrated this whole obsession in their quest for world domination, but it's time we put them back in their place.

TL;DR you're jealous you don't have a cat.
 

AmandaRose

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TL;DR you're jealous you don't have a cat.
Nah I have something much better than a cat lol

IMG_20190428_170631.jpg
 
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x65943

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Here are my totally made up facts stolen from someone else into why cats are evil lol.


Cats don't understand 'no'


Let's be real here. Cats have an attitude problem. No other animals are as moody, temperamental or as difficult to please as cats. You might think you're investing all that time and energy into building a beautiful relationship with your pet. You aren't. Your cat has absolutely no interest in you as a person. You won't be able to train your cat, and they don't have any loyalty to you. This is because cats are naturally unresponsive to punishment; they only respond to praise and rewards. So no matter how many times you spray Mr Bojangles with water for clawing the sofa, he'll never learn.

Cats are arrogant

They definitely have a bad attitude, but even worse, they think they're better than you. They prance around like they own the place, peeing everywhere and expecting you to clean it up for them. They know you will wait on them hand and foot and provide them with a constant supply of food. If a human treated you like that, would you accept it? Of course not.

Cats are manipulative

You probably know that cats purr. An interesting fact that you might not know is that cats also have a “cry” which they use to manipulate humans. This cry is strikingly similar to the cry of a baby or a small child, and humans are programmed to respond to this and try to help. If anything, this proves that even cats know they are evil creatures, and they have to impersonate our children to try and manipulate us into doing their bidding.

Cats make you more stupid

Okay, it’s not cats themselves that make you more stupid. It’s the cat videos. The average person has probably spent 7,638 hours watching cat videos. And by spent, I mean wasted. What do you have to show for those hours? Maybe a shortcut to the cutest cat video on the internet, but nothing of real value. You could have read 300 life-changing books in that time, gone on 47 enlightening walks through nature, had countless deep and meaningful conversations with friends and family. It’s not the internet that is ruining our brains, it’s cat videos. Mindless, dull, repetitive and completely devoid of any value, these are the bane of my life and I can’t understand why anyone wants to waste their time watching them.

Cats won’t make eye contact with you

If they accidentally do lock eyes with you, they will blink and narrow their eyes in an evil-villian-caught-in-the-midst-of-a-dastardly-plan-type way. If that’s not sketchy, I don’t know what is.

Cats think you are completely incapable

That’s right, cats think you are stupid. They hunt and bring you dead animals (we’ll get to their sadistic, murderous instincts in a moment), because they think you are too stupid to catch a bird or a mouse on your own. So, not only do you want to share your bed with an oversized rodent, you praise it for bringing smaller, dead (or half-dead) rodents into your house. Nice.

Cats are the favoured pets of witches

Everyone knows witch + broomstick + black cat. And if Disney has taught us anything, it's that witches are inherently evil and don't just want to put a spell on you, they want to kill you (Sleeping Beauty wouldn't have been much of story if Maleficent had done her job properly). Enter cats. The perfect heartless sidekick; they don't care whether you live or die, as long as they're getting some tuna at the end of it.

Cats are murdering monsters

As mentioned above, they like to kill other animals. For fun. Considering cat lovers are so vocal about their love for all things cute and fluffy, it seems strange that people are happy to ignore the fact that cats are tyrants who pick on mice, birds and other creatures. Not only do they kill them (to arrogantly show you that they’re better than you), they usually play with their prey, torturing the poor animals before a slow and painful death. That doesn't sound like cute kitty behaviour to me. That sounds more like ISIS-style terrorism.

Cats think they own you

At this point some of you may be declaring that cats love to cuddle you, and love to have their bellies rubbed, and that they brush up against you because they are just oh-so affectionate. Wrong. Cats, like a lot of animals, release scents, and these scents send signals to other cats and other animals. Essentially, when a cat is rubbing up against you or lying in your lap, it doesn't want affection, it is marking you as its property. Yup, you just got owned.

Cats make you clean up their crap

How many cat poops have you seen in the wild? Exactly. That's because in the wild, cats dig holes to bury their business. This is because they don't want to challenge the dominant cat on his own turf, so it's a way of admitting who's boss. Any cat that leaves its poop out is saying, "I'm the alpha here, I don't think anyone here can challenge me." So next time you're cleaning up Snowball's poop, just think about what he's really saying to you.

Cats idolise snakes

Between all that purring and meowing, people conveniently forget that cats also hiss. Just like the stick insect pretends to be a stick to disguise itself from predators, cats also use this technique, called mimicry, to try and put off predators. Most animals, big or small, are scared of snakes, which is why cats send their ears back, hiss and spit, in an attempt to mimic a venomous snake. NBD, just worth noting that cats aspire to be an animal THAT CAN KILL YOU.

Cats think humans absolutely stink


Oh you thought cats were very clean and sanitary, considering it looks like they are always grooming themselves? Not quite. When they lick their paws, and their fur, and everywhere else for that matter, they aren't trying to give themselves a bath, they just want rid of the disgusting stench of human. Truth hurts.

Conclusion: stay away from cats

I'm not saying people shouldn't love their pets. I'm just saying cats aren't as wonderful as everyone makes them out to be. Cats themselves no doubt orchestrated this whole obsession in their quest for world domination, but it's time we put them back in their place.
This is heresy

When the cats take over, you better pray you are eaten first
 

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DOGGY when Human comes home:
"Hey,you are back,I am sooooooo happy !!!"

KITTY when Human comes home:
"Where have you been ? My Foodbowl is empty !! How do you imagine that ?
Dogs need too much attention -0-
You just feed your cat
And then it’s fine all day!

But you gotta play with dogs for hours!
 

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Dogs need too much attention -0-
You just feed your cat
And then it’s fine all day!

But you gotta play with dogs for hours!
And dogs don't bathe themselves either

Walk em, play with em, feed em, wash em - gosh just have a kid at that point!
 

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    @BigOnYa can answer that
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    BigOnYa already left the chat
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    Biginya
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Auto correct got me, I'm on my tablet, i need to turn that shit off
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    With other tabs open you perv
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    I'm actually in my shed, bout to cut 2-3 acres of grass, my back yard.
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    I use to have a guy for that thanks richard
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    I use my tablet to stream to a bluetooth speaker when in shed. iHeartRadio, FlyNation
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    While the victims are being buried
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    Grave shovel
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Nuh those goto the edge of the property (maybe just on the other side of)
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    On the neighbors side
    +1
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Yup, by the weird smelly green bushy looking plants.
    K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2: https://www.the-sun.com/news/10907833/self-checkout-complaints-new-target-dollar-general-policies...