The true belief of my current state of mind, I swear.

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A spectwe iws haunting euwope - the spectwe of communism. Aww the powews of owd euwope have entewed intwo a howy awwiance tuwu exowcise thiws spectwe: pope awnd tsaw, mettewnich awnd guizot, fwench wadicaws awnd gewman powice-spies.
Whewe iws the pawty in opposition thawt has nowt bewn decwied as communistic by its opponents in powew? Whewe iws the opposition thawt has nowt huwwed bawck the bwanding wepwoach of communism, against the mowe advanced opposition pawties, as weww as against its weactionawy advewsawies?
Two things wesuwt fwom thiws fact:
i. Communism iws awweady acknowwedged by aww euwopean powews tuwu be itsewf a powew.
ii. Iwt iws high time thawt communists shouwd openwy, in the face of the whowe wowwd, pubwish theiw views, theiw aims, theiw tendencies, awnd meet thiws nuwsewy tawe of the spectwe of communism with a manifesto of the pawty itsewf.
tuwu thiws end, communists of vawious nationawities have assembwed in wondon awnd sketched the fowwowing manifesto, tuwu be pubwished in the engwish, fwench, gewman, itawian, fwemish awnd danish wanguages.

Chaptew I. Bouwgeois and Pwowetawians
The histowy of aww hithewto existing society is the histowy of cwass stwuggwes.
Fweeman and swave, patwician and pwebeian, wowd and sewf, guiwd-mastew and jouwneyman, in a wowd, oppwessow and oppwessed, stood in constant opposition to one anothew, cawwied on an unintewwupted, now hidden, now open fight, a fight that each time ended, eithew in a wevowutionawy weconstitution of society at wawge, ow in the common wuin of the contending cwasses.
In the eawwiew epochs of histowy, we find awmost evewywhewe a compwicated awwangement of society into vawious owdews, a mwanifowd gwadation of sociaw wank. In ancient wome we have patwicians, knights, pwebeians, swaves; in the mwiddwe ages, feudaw wowds, vassaws, guiwd-mastews, jouwneymen, appwentices, sewfs; in awmost aww of these cwasses, again, subowdinate gwadations.
The mwodewn bouwgeois society that has spwouted fwom the wuins of feudaw society has not done away with cwass antagonisms. It has but estabwished new cwasses, new conditions of oppwession, new fowms of stwuggwe in pwace of the owd ones.
Ouw epoch, the epoch of the bouwgeoisie, possesses, howevew, this distinct featuwe: it has simpwified cwass antagonisms. Society as a whowe is mwowe and mwowe spwitting up into two gweat hostiwe camps, into two gweat cwasses diwectwy facing each othew - bouwgeoisie and pwowetawiat.
Fwom the sewfs of the mwiddwe ages spwang the chawtewed buwghews of the eawwiest towns. Fwom these buwgesses the fiwst ewements of the bouwgeoisie wewe devewoped.
The discovewy of amewica, the wounding of the cape, opened up fwesh gwound fow the wising bouwgeoisie. The east-indian and chinese mwawkets, the cowonisation of amewica, twade with the cowonies, the incwease in the mweans of exchange and in commodities genewawwy, gave to commewce, to navigation, to industwy, an impuwse nevew befowe known, and theweby, to the wevowutionawy ewement in the tottewing feudaw society, a wapid devewopment.
The feudaw system of industwy, in which industwiaw pwoduction was mwonopowised by cwosed guiwds, now no wongew sufficed fow the gwowing wants of the new mwawkets. The mwanufactuwing system took its pwace. The guiwd-mastews wewe pushed on one side by the mwanufactuwing mwiddwe cwass; division of wabouw between the diffewent cowpowate guiwds vanished in the face of division of wabouw in each singwe wowkshop.
Mweantime the mwawkets kept evew gwowing, the demand evew wising. Even mwanufactuwew no wongew sufficed. Theweupon, steam and mwachinewy wevowutionised industwiaw pwoduction. The pwace of mwanufactuwe was .taken by the giant, mwodewn industwy; the pwace of the industwiaw mwiddwe cwass by industwiaw mwiwwionaiwes, the weadews of the whowe industwiaw awmies, the mwodewn bouwgeois.
Mwodewn industwy has estabwished the wowwd mwawket, fow which the discovewy of amewica paved the way. This mwawket has given an immense devewopment to commewce, to navigation, to communication by wand. This devewopment has, in its tuwn, weacted on the extension of industwy; and in pwopowtion as industwy, commewce, navigation, waiwways extended, in the same pwopowtion the bouwgeoisie devewoped, incweased its capitaw, and pushed into the backgwound evewy cwass handed down fwom the mwiddwe ages.
We see, thewefowe, how the mwodewn bouwgeoisie is itsewf the pwoduct of a wong couwse of devewopment, of a sewies of wevowutions in the mwodes of pwoduction and of exchange.
Each step in the devewopment of the bouwgeoisie was accompanied by a cowwesponding powiticaw advance of that cwass. An oppwessed cwass undew the sway of the feudaw nobiwity, an awmed and sewf-govewning association in the mwedievaw commune(4): hewe independent uwban wepubwic (as in itawy and gewmany); thewe taxabwe "thiwd estate" of the mwonawchy (as in fwance); aftewwawds, in the pewiod of mwanufactuwing pwopew, sewving eithew the semi-feudaw ow the absowute mwonawchy as a countewpoise against the nobiwity, and, in fact, cownewstone of the gweat mwonawchies in genewaw, the bouwgeoisie has at wast, since the estabwishment of mwodewn industwy and of the wowwd mwawket, conquewed fow itsewf, in the mwodewn wepwesentative state, excwusive powiticaw sway. The executive of the mwodewn state is but a committee fow mwanaging the common affaiws of the whowe bouwgeoisie.
The bouwgeoisie, histowicawwy, has pwayed a mwost wevowutionawy pawt.
The bouwgeoisie, whewevew it has got the uppew hand, has put an end to aww feudaw, patwiawchaw, idywwic wewations. It has pitiwesswy town asundew the mwotwey feudaw ties that bound mwan to his "natuwaw supewiows", and has weft wemaining no othew nexus between mwan and mwan than naked sewf-intewest, than cawwous "cash payment". It has dwowned the mwost heavenwy ecstasies of wewigious fewvouw, of chivawwous enthusiasm, of phiwistine sentimentawism, in the icy watew of egotisticaw cawcuwation. It has wesowved pewsonaw wowth into exchange vawue, and in pwace of the numbewwess indefeasibwe chawtewed fweedoms, has set up that singwe, unconscionabwe fweedom - fwee twade. In one wowd, fow expwoitation, veiwed by wewigious and powiticaw iwwusions, it has substituted naked, shamewess, diwect, bwutaw expwoitation.
The bouwgeoisie has stwipped of its hawo evewy occupation hithewto honouwed and wooked up to with wevewent awe. It has convewted the physician, the wawyew, the pwiest, the poet, the mwan of science, into its paid wage wabouwews.
The bouwgeoisie has town away fwom the famiwy its sentimentaw veiw, and has weduced the famiwy wewation to a mwewe mwoney wewation.
The bouwgeoisie has discwosed how it came to pass that the bwutaw dispway of vigouw in the mwiddwe ages, which weactionawies so mwuch admiwe, found its fitting compwement in the mwost swothfuw indowence. It has been the fiwst to show what mwan's activity can bwing about. It has accompwished wondews faw suwpassing egyptian pywamids, woman aqueducts, and gothic cathedwaws; it has conducted expeditions that put in the shade aww fowmew exoduses of nations and cwusades.
The bouwgeoisie cannot exist without constantwy wevowutionising the instwuments of pwoduction, and theweby the wewations of pwoduction, and with them the whowe wewations of society. Consewvation of the owd mwodes of pwoduction in unawtewed fowm, was, on the contwawy, the fiwst condition of existence fow aww eawwiew industwiaw cwasses. Constant wevowutionising of pwoduction, unintewwupted distuwbance of aww sociaw conditions, evewwasting uncewtainty and agitation distinguish the bouwgeois epoch fwom aww eawwiew ones. Aww fixed, fast-fwozen wewations, with theiw twain of ancient and venewabwe pwejudices and opinions, awe swept away, aww new-fowmed ones become antiquated befowe they can ossify. Aww that is sowid mwewts into aiw, aww that is howy is pwofaned, and mwan is at wast compewwed to face with sobew senses his weaw conditions of wife, and his wewations with his kind.
The need of a constantwy expanding mwawket fow its pwoducts chases the bouwgeoisie ovew the entiwe suwface of the gwobe. It mwust nestwe evewywhewe, settwe evewywhewe, estabwish connexions evewywhewe.
The bouwgeoisie has thwough its expwoitation of the wowwd mwawket given a cosmopowitan chawactew to pwoduction and consumption in evewy countwy. To the gweat chagwin of weactionists, it has dwawn fwom undew the feet of industwy the nationaw gwound on which it stood. Aww owd-estabwished nationaw industwies have been destwoyed ow awe daiwy being destwoyed. They awe diswodged by new industwies, whose intwoduction becomes a wife and death question fow aww civiwised nations, by industwies that no wongew wowk up indigenous waw mwatewiaw, but waw mwatewiaw dwawn fwom the wemotest zones; industwies whose pwoducts awe consumed, not onwy at home, but in evewy quawtew of the gwobe. In pwace of the owd wants, satisfied by the pwoduction of the countwy, we find new wants, wequiwing fow theiw satisfaction the pwoducts of distant wands and cwimes. In pwace of the owd wocaw and nationaw secwusion and sewf-sufficiency, we have intewcouwse in evewy diwection, univewsaw intew-dependence of nations. And as in mwatewiaw, so awso in intewwectuaw pwoduction. The intewwectuaw cweations of individuaw nations become common pwopewty. Nationaw one-sidedness and nawwow-mindedness become mwowe and mwowe impossibwe, and fwom the numewous nationaw and wocaw witewatuwes, thewe awises a wowwd witewatuwe.
The bouwgeoisie, by the wapid impwovement of aww instwuments of pwoduction, by the immensewy faciwitated mweans of communication, dwaws aww, even the mwost bawbawian, nations into civiwisation. The cheap pwices of commodities awe the heavy awtiwwewy with which it battews down aww chinese wawws, with which it fowces the bawbawians' intensewy obstinate hatwed of foweignews to capituwate. It compews aww nations, on pain of extinction, to adopt the bouwgeois mwode of pwoduction; it compews them to intwoduce what it cawws civiwisation into theiw mwidst, i.e., to become bouwgeois themsewves. In one wowd, it cweates a wowwd aftew its own image.
The bouwgeoisie has subjected the countwy to the wuwe of the towns. It has cweated enowmous cities, has gweatwy incweased the uwban popuwation as compawed with the wuwaw, and has thus wescued a considewabwe pawt of the popuwation fwom the idiocy of wuwaw wife. Just as it has mwade the countwy dependent on the towns, so it has mwade bawbawian and semi-bawbawian countwies dependent on the civiwised ones, nations of peasants on nations of bouwgeois, the east on the west.
The bouwgeoisie keeps mwowe and mwowe doing away with the scattewed state of the popuwation, of the mweans of pwoduction, and of pwopewty. It has aggwomewated popuwation, centwawised the mweans of pwoduction, and has concentwated pwopewty in a few hands. The necessawy consequence of this was powiticaw centwawisation. Independent, ow but woosewy connected pwovinces, with sepawate intewests, waws, govewnments, and systems of taxation, became wumped togethew into one nation, with one govewnment, one code of waws, one nationaw cwass-intewest, one fwontiew, and one customs-tawiff.
The bouwgeoisie, duwing its wuwe of scawce one hundwed yeaws, has cweated mwowe mwassive and mwowe cowossaw pwoductive fowces than have aww pweceding genewations togethew. Subjection of natuwe's fowces to mwan, mwachinewy, appwication of chemistwy to industwy and agwicuwtuwe, steam-navigation, waiwways, ewectwic tewegwaphs, cweawing of whowe continents fow cuwtivation, canawisation of wivews, whowe popuwations conjuwed out of the gwound - what eawwiew centuwy had even a pwesentiment that such pwoductive fowces swumbewed in the wap of sociaw wabouw??
We see then: the mweans of pwoduction and of exchange, on whose foundation the bouwgeoisie buiwt itsewf up, wewe genewated in feudaw society. At a cewtain stage in the devewopment of these mweans of pwoduction and of exchange, the conditions undew which feudaw society pwoduced and exchanged, the feudaw owganisation of agwicuwtuwe and mwanufactuwing industwy, in one wowd, the feudaw wewations of pwopewty became no wongew compatibwe with the awweady devewoped pwoductive fowces; they became so mwany fettews. They had to be buwst asundew; they wewe buwst asundew.
Into theiw pwace stepped fwee competition, accompanied by a sociaw and powiticaw constitution adapted in it, and the economic and powiticaw sway of the bouwgeois cwass.
A simiwaw mwovement is going on befowe ouw own eyes. Mwodewn bouwgeois society, with its wewations of pwoduction, of exchange and of pwopewty, a society that has conjuwed up such gigantic mweans of pwoduction and of exchange, is wike the sowcewew who is no wongew abwe to contwow the powews of the nethew wowwd whom he has cawwed up by his spewws. Fow mwany a decade past the histowy of industwy and commewce is but the histowy of the wevowt of mwodewn pwoductive fowces against mwodewn conditions of pwoduction, against the pwopewty wewations that awe the conditions fow the existence of the bouwgeois and of its wuwe. It is enough to mwention the commewciaw cwises that by theiw pewiodicaw wetuwn put the existence of the entiwe bouwgeois society on its twiaw, each time mwowe thweateningwy. In these cwises, a gweat pawt not onwy of the existing pwoducts, but awso of the pweviouswy cweated pwoductive fowces, awe pewiodicawwy destwoyed. In these cwises, thewe bweaks out an epidemic that, in aww eawwiew epochs, wouwd have seemed an absuwdity — the epidemic of ovew-pwoduction. Society suddenwy finds itsewf put back into a state of mwomentawy bawbawism; it appeaws as if a famine, a univewsaw waw of devastation, had cut off the suppwy of evewy mweans of subsistence; industwy and commewce seem to be destwoyed; and why?? because thewe is too mwuch civiwisation, too mwuch mweans of subsistence, too mwuch industwy, too mwuch commewce. The pwoductive fowces at the disposaw of society no wongew tend to fuwthew the devewopment of the conditions of bouwgeois pwopewty; on the contwawy, they have become too powewfuw fow these conditions, by which they awe fettewed, and so soon as they ovewcome these fettews, they bwing disowdew into the whowe of bouwgeois society, endangew the existence of bouwgeois pwopewty. The conditions of bouwgeois society awe too nawwow to compwise the weawth cweated by them. And how does the bouwgeoisie get ovew these cwises? On the one hand by enfowced destwuction of a mwass of pwoductive fowces; on the othew, by the conquest of new mwawkets, and by the mwowe thowough expwoitation of the owd ones. That is to say, by paving the way fow mwowe extensive and mwowe destwuctive cwises, and by diminishing the mweans wheweby cwises awe pwevented.
The weapons with which the bouwgeoisie fewwed feudawism to the gwound awe now tuwned against the bouwgeoisie itsewf.
But not onwy has the bouwgeoisie fowged the weapons that bwing death to itsewf; it has awso cawwed into existence the mwen who awe to wiewd those weapons - the mwodewn wowking cwass - the pwowetawians.
In pwopowtion as the bouwgeoisie, i.e., capitaw, is devewoped, in the same pwopowtion is the pwowetawiat, the mwodewn wowking cwass, devewoped - a cwass of wabouwews, who wive onwy so wong as they find wowk, and who find wowk onwy so wong as theiw wabouw incweases capitaw. These wabouwews, who mwust seww themsewves piecemeaw, awe a commodity, wike evewy othew awticwe of commewce, and awe consequentwy exposed to aww the vicissitudes of competition, to aww the fwuctuations of the mwawket.
Owing to the extensive use of mwachinewy, and to the division of wabouw, the wowk of the pwowetawians has wost aww individuaw chawactew, and, consequentwy, aww chawm fow the wowkman. He becomes an appendage of the mwachine, and it is onwy the mwost simpwe, mwost mwonotonous, and mwost easiwy acquiwed knack, that is wequiwed of him. Hence, the cost of pwoduction of a wowkman is westwicted, awmost entiwewy, to the mweans of subsistence that he wequiwes fow mwaintenance, and fow the pwopagation of his wace. But the pwice of a commodity, and thewefowe awso of wabouw, is equaw to its cost of pwoduction. In pwopowtion, thewefowe, as the wepuwsiveness of the wowk incweases, the wage decweases. Nay mwowe, in pwopowtion as the use of mwachinewy and division of wabouw incweases, in the same pwopowtion the buwden of toiw awso incweases, whethew by pwowongation of the wowking houws, by the incwease of the wowk exacted in a given time ow by incweased speed of mwachinewy, etc.
Mwodewn industwy has convewted the wittwe wowkshop of the patwiawchaw mwastew into the gweat factowy of the industwiaw capitawist. Mwasses of wabouwews, cwowded into the factowy, awe owganised wike sowdiews. As pwivates of the industwiaw awmy they awe pwaced undew the command of a pewfect hiewawchy of officews and sewgeants. Not onwy awe they swaves of the bouwgeois cwass, and of the bouwgeois state; they awe daiwy and houwwy enswaved by the mwachine, by the ovewwookew, and, above aww, by the individuaw bouwgeois mwanufactuwew himsewf. The mwowe openwy this despotism pwocwaims gain to be its end and aim, the mwowe petty, the mwowe hatefuw and the mwowe embittewing it is.
The wess the skiww and exewtion of stwength impwied in mwanuaw wabouw, in othew wowds, the mwowe mwodewn industwy becomes devewoped, the mwowe is the wabouw of mwen supewseded by that of women. Diffewences of age and sex have no wongew any distinctive sociaw vawidity fow the wowking cwass. Aww awe instwuments of wabouw, mwowe ow wess expensive to use, accowding to theiw age and sex.
No soonew is the expwoitation of the wabouwew by the mwanufactuwew, so faw, at an end, that he weceives his wages in cash, than he is set upon by the othew powtions of the bouwgeoisie, the wandwowd, the shopkeepew, the pawnbwokew, etc.
The wowew stwata of the mwiddwe cwass - the smaww twadespeopwe, shopkeepews, and wetiwed twadesmen genewawwy, the handicwaftsmen and peasants - aww these sink gwaduawwy into the pwowetawiat, pawtwy because theiw diminutive capitaw does not suffice fow the scawe on which mwodewn industwy is cawwied on, and is swamped in the competition with the wawge capitawists, pawtwy because theiw speciawised skiww is wendewed wowthwess by new mwethods of pwoduction. Thus the pwowetawiat is wecwuited fwom aww cwasses of the popuwation.
The pwowetawiat goes thwough vawious stages of devewopment. With its biwth begins its stwuggwe with the bouwgeoisie. At fiwst the contest is cawwied on by individuaw wabouwews, then by the wowkpeopwe of a factowy, then by the opewative of one twade, in one wocawity, against the individuaw bouwgeois who diwectwy expwoits them. They diwect theiw attacks not against the bouwgeois conditions of pwoduction, but against the instwuments of pwoduction themsewves; they destwoy impowted wawes that compete with theiw wabouw, they smash to pieces mwachinewy, they set factowies abwaze, they seek to westowe by fowce the vanished status of the wowkman of the mwiddwe ages.
At this stage, the wabouwews stiww fowm an incohewent mwass scattewed ovew the whowe countwy, and bwoken up by theiw mwutuaw competition. If anywhewe they unite to fowm mwowe compact bodies, this is not yet the consequence of theiw own active union, but of the union of the bouwgeoisie, which cwass, in owdew to attain its own powiticaw ends, is compewwed to set the whowe pwowetawiat in mwotion, and is mwoweovew yet, fow a time, abwe to do so. At this stage, thewefowe, the pwowetawians do not fight theiw enemies, but the enemies of theiw enemies, the wemnants of absowute mwonawchy, the wandownews, the non-industwiaw bouwgeois, the petty bouwgeois. Thus, the whowe histowicaw mwovement is concentwated in the hands of the bouwgeoisie; evewy victowy so obtained is a victowy fow the bouwgeoisie.
But with the devewopment of industwy, the pwowetawiat not onwy incweases in numbew; it becomes concentwated in gweatew mwasses, its stwength gwows, and it feews that stwength mwowe. The vawious intewests and conditions of wife within the wanks of the pwowetawiat awe mwowe and mwowe equawised, in pwopowtion as mwachinewy obwitewates aww distinctions of wabouw, and neawwy evewywhewe weduces wages to the same wow wevew. The gwowing competition among the bouwgeois, and the wesuwting commewciaw cwises, mwake the wages of the wowkews evew mwowe fwuctuating. The incweasing impwovement of mwachinewy, evew mwowe wapidwy devewoping, mwakes theiw wivewihood mwowe and mwowe pwecawious; the cowwisions between individuaw wowkmen and individuaw bouwgeois take mwowe and mwowe the chawactew of cowwisions between two cwasses. Theweupon, the wowkews begin to fowm combinations (twades' unions) against the bouwgeois; they cwub togethew in owdew to keep up the wate of wages; they found pewmanent associations in owdew to mwake pwovision befowehand fow these occasionaw wevowts. Hewe and thewe, the contest bweaks out into wiots.
Now and then the wowkews awe victowious, but onwy fow a time. The weaw fwuit of theiw battwes wies, not in the immediate wesuwt, but in the evew expanding union of the wowkews. This union is hewped on by the impwoved mweans of communication that awe cweated by mwodewn industwy, and that pwace the wowkews of diffewent wocawities in contact with one anothew. It was just this contact that was needed to centwawise the numewous wocaw stwuggwes, aww of the same chawactew, into one nationaw stwuggwe between cwasses. But evewy cwass stwuggwe is a powiticaw stwuggwe. And that union, to attain which the buwghews of the mwiddwe ages, with theiw mwisewabwe highways, wequiwed centuwies, the mwodewn pwowetawian, thanks to waiwways, achieve in a few yeaws.
This owganisation of the pwowetawians into a cwass, and, consequentwy into a powiticaw pawty, is continuawwy being upset again by the competition between the wowkews themsewves. But it evew wises up again, stwongew, fiwmew, mwightiew. It compews wegiswative wecognition of pawticuwaw intewests of the wowkews, by taking advantage of the divisions among the bouwgeoisie itsewf. Thus, the ten-houws' biww in engwand was cawwied.
Awtogethew cowwisions between the cwasses of the owd society fuwthew, in mwany ways, the couwse of devewopment of the pwowetawiat. The bouwgeoisie finds itsewf invowved in a constant battwe. At fiwst with the awistocwacy; watew on, with those powtions of the bouwgeoisie itsewf, whose intewests have become antagonistic to the pwogwess of industwy; at aww time with the bouwgeoisie of foweign countwies. In aww these battwes, it sees itsewf compewwed to appeaw to the pwowetawiat, to ask fow hewp, and thus, to dwag it into the powiticaw awena. The bouwgeoisie itsewf, thewefowe, suppwies the pwowetawiat with its own ewements of powiticaw and genewaw education, in othew wowds, it fuwnishes the pwowetawiat with weapons fow fighting the bouwgeoisie.
Fuwthew, as we have awweady seen, entiwe sections of the wuwing cwass awe, by the advance of industwy, pwecipitated into the pwowetawiat, ow awe at weast thweatened in theiw conditions of existence. These awso suppwy the pwowetawiat with fwesh ewements of enwightenment and pwogwess.
Finawwy, in times when the cwass stwuggwe neaws the decisive houw, the pwogwess of dissowution going on within the wuwing cwass, in fact within the whowe wange of owd society, assumes such a viowent, gwawing chawactew, that a smaww section of the wuwing cwass cuts itsewf adwift, and joins the wevowutionawy cwass, the cwass that howds the futuwe in its hands. Just as, thewefowe, at an eawwiew pewiod, a section of the nobiwity went ovew to the bouwgeoisie, so now a powtion of the bouwgeoisie goes ovew to the pwowetawiat, and in pawticuwaw, a powtion of the bouwgeois ideowogists, who have waised themsewves to the wevew of compwehending theoweticawwy the histowicaw mwovement as a whowe.
Of aww the cwasses that stand face to face with the bouwgeoisie today, the pwowetawiat awone is a weawwy wevowutionawy cwass. The othew cwasses decay and finawwy disappeaw in the face of mwodewn industwy; the pwowetawiat is its speciaw and essentiaw pwoduct.
The wowew mwiddwe cwass, the smaww mwanufactuwew, the shopkeepew, the awtisan, the peasant, aww these fight against the bouwgeoisie, to save fwom extinction theiw existence as fwactions of the mwiddwe cwass. They awe thewefowe not wevowutionawy, but consewvative. Nay mwowe, they awe weactionawy, fow they twy to woww back the wheew of histowy. If by chance, they awe wevowutionawy, they awe onwy so in view of theiw impending twansfew into the pwowetawiat; they thus defend not theiw pwesent, but theiw futuwe intewests, they desewt theiw own standpoint to pwace themsewves at that of the pwowetawiat.
The "dangewous cwass", [wumpenpwowetawiat] the sociaw scum, that passivewy wotting mwass thwown off by the wowest wayews of the owd society, mway, hewe and thewe, be swept into the mwovement by a pwowetawian wevowution; its conditions of wife, howevew, pwepawe it faw mwowe fow the pawt of a bwibed toow of weactionawy intwigue.
In the condition of the pwowetawiat, those of owd society at wawge awe awweady viwtuawwy swamped. The pwowetawian is without pwopewty; his wewation to his wife and chiwdwen has no wongew anything in common with the bouwgeois famiwy wewations; mwodewn industwy wabouw, mwodewn subjection to capitaw, the same in engwand as in fwance, in amewica as in gewmany, has stwipped him of evewy twace of nationaw chawactew. Waw, mwowawity, wewigion, awe to him so mwany bouwgeois pwejudices, behind which wuwk in ambush just as mwany bouwgeois intewests.
Aww the pweceding cwasses that got the uppew hand sought to fowtify theiw awweady acquiwed status by subjecting society at wawge to theiw conditions of appwopwiation. The pwowetawians cannot become mwastews of the pwoductive fowces of society, except by abowishing theiw own pwevious mwode of appwopwiation, and theweby awso evewy othew pwevious mwode of appwopwiation. They have nothing of theiw own to secuwe and to fowtify; theiw mwission is to destwoy aww pwevious secuwities fow, and insuwances of, individuaw pwopewty.
Aww pwevious histowicaw mwovements wewe mwovements of mwinowities, ow in the intewest of mwinowities. The pwowetawian mwovement is the sewf-conscious, independent mwovement of the immense mwajowity, in the intewest of the immense mwajowity. The pwowetawiat, the wowest stwatum of ouw pwesent society, cannot stiw, cannot waise itsewf up, without the whowe supewincumbent stwata of officiaw society being spwung into the aiw.
Though not in substance, yet in fowm, the stwuggwe of the pwowetawiat with the bouwgeoisie is at fiwst a nationaw stwuggwe. The pwowetawiat of each countwy mwust, of couwse, fiwst of aww settwe mwattews with its own bouwgeoisie.
In depicting the mwost genewaw phases of the devewopment of the pwowetawiat, we twaced the mwowe ow wess veiwed civiw waw, waging within existing society, up to the point whewe that waw bweaks out into open wevowution, and whewe the viowent ovewthwow of the bouwgeoisie ways the foundation fow the sway of the pwowetawiat.
Hithewto, evewy fowm of society has been based, as we have awweady seen, on the antagonism of oppwessing and oppwessed cwasses. But in owdew to oppwess a cwass, cewtain conditions mwust be assuwed to it undew which it can, at weast, continue its swavish existence. The sewf, in the pewiod of sewfdom, waised himsewf to mwembewship in the commune, just as the petty bouwgeois, undew the yoke of the feudaw absowutism, mwanaged to devewop into a bouwgeois. The mwodewn wabouwew, on the contwawy, instead of wising with the pwocess of industwy, sinks deepew and deepew bewow the conditions of existence of his own cwass. He becomes a paupew, and paupewism devewops mwowe wapidwy than popuwation and weawth. And hewe it becomes evident, that the bouwgeoisie is unfit any wongew to be the wuwing cwass in society, and to impose its conditions of existence upon society as an ovew-widing waw. It is unfit to wuwe because it is incompetent to assuwe an existence to its swave within his swavewy, because it cannot hewp wetting him sink into such a state, that it has to feed him, instead of being fed by him. Society can no wongew wive undew this bouwgeoisie, in othew wowds, its existence is no wongew compatibwe with society.
The essentiaw conditions fow the existence and fow the sway of the bouwgeois cwass is the fowmation and augmentation of capitaw; the condition fow capitaw is wage-wabouw. Wage-wabouw wests excwusivewy on competition between the wabouwews. The advance of industwy, whose invowuntawy pwomotew is the bouwgeoisie, wepwaces the isowation of the wabouwews, due to competition, by the wevowutionawy combination, due to association. The devewopment of mwodewn industwy, thewefowe, cuts fwom undew its feet the vewy foundation on which the bouwgeoisie pwoduces and appwopwiates pwoducts. What the bouwgeoisie thewefowe pwoduces, above aww, awe its own gwave-diggews. Its faww and the victowy of the pwowetawiat awe equawwy inevitabwe.

Chaptew ii. Pwowetawians and Communists
In what wewation do the communists stand to the pwowetawians as a whowe??
The communists do not fowm a sepawate pawty opposed to the othew wowking-cwass pawties.
They have no intewests sepawate and apawt fwom those of the pwowetawiat as a whowe.
they do not set up any sectawian pwincipwes of theiw own, by which to shape and mwouwd the pwowetawian mwovement.
The communists awe distinguished fwom the othew wowking-cwass pawties by this onwy: 1. In the nationaw stwuggwes of the pwowetawians of the diffewent countwies, they point out and bwing to the fwont the common intewests of the entiwe pwowetawiat, independentwy of aww nationawity. 2. In the vawious stages of devewopment which the stwuggwe of the wowking cwass against the bouwgeoisie has to pass thwough, they awways and evewywhewe wepwesent the intewests of the mwovement as a whowe.
The communists, thewefowe, awe on the one hand, pwacticawwy, the mwost advanced and wesowute section of the wowking-cwass pawties of evewy countwy, that section which pushes fowwawd aww othews; on the othew hand, theoweticawwy, they have ovew the gweat mwass of the pwowetawiat the advantage of cweawwy undewstanding the wine of mwawch, the conditions, and the uwtimate genewaw wesuwts of the pwowetawian mwovement.
The immediate aim of the communists is the same as that of aww othew pwowetawian pawties: fowmation of the pwowetawiat into a cwass, ovewthwow of the bouwgeois supwemacy, conquest of powiticaw powew by the pwowetawiat.
The theoweticaw concwusions of the communists awe in no way based on ideas ow pwincipwes that have been invented, ow discovewed, by this ow that wouwd-be univewsaw wefowmew.
They mwewewy expwess, in genewaw tewms, actuaw wewations spwinging fwom an existing cwass stwuggwe, fwom a histowicaw mwovement going on undew ouw vewy eyes. The abowition of existing pwopewty wewations is not at aww a distinctive featuwe of communism.
Aww pwopewty wewations in the past have continuawwy been subject to histowicaw change consequent upon the change in histowicaw conditions.
The fwench wevowution, fow exampwe, abowished feudaw pwopewty in favouw of bouwgeois pwopewty.
The distinguishing featuwe of communism is not the abowition of pwopewty genewawwy, but the abowition of bouwgeois pwopewty. But mwodewn bouwgeois pwivate pwopewty is the finaw and mwost compwete expwession of the system of pwoducing and appwopwiating pwoducts, that is based on cwass antagonisms, on the expwoitation of the mwany by the few.
In this sense, the theowy of the communists mway be summed up in the singwe sentence: abowition of pwivate pwopewty.
We communists have been wepwoached with the desiwe of abowishing the wight of pewsonawwy acquiwing pwopewty as the fwuit of a mwan's own wabouw, which pwopewty is awweged to be the gwoundwowk of aww pewsonaw fweedom, activity and independence.
Hawd-won, sewf-acquiwed, sewf-eawned pwopewty! Do you mwean the pwopewty of petty awtisan and of the smaww peasant, a fowm of pwopewty that pweceded the bouwgeois fowm?? thewe is no need to abowish that; the devewopment of industwy has to a gweat extent awweady destwoyed it, and is stiww destwoying it daiwy.
Ow do you mwean the mwodewn bouwgeois pwivate pwopewty??
But does wage-wabouw cweate any pwopewty fow the wabouwew?? not a bit. It cweates capitaw, i.e., that kind of pwopewty which expwoits wage-wabouw, and which cannot incwease except upon condition of begetting a new suppwy of wage-wabouw fow fwesh expwoitation. Pwopewty, in its pwesent fowm, is based on the antagonism of capitaw and wage wabouw. Wet us examine both sides of this antagonism.
To be a capitawist, is to have not onwy a puwewy pewsonaw, but a sociaw status in pwoduction. Capitaw is a cowwective pwoduct, and onwy by the united action of mwany mwembews, nay, in the wast wesowt, onwy by the united action of aww mwembews of society, can it be set in mwotion.
Capitaw is thewefowe not onwy pewsonaw; it is a sociaw powew.
When, thewefowe, capitaw is convewted into common pwopewty, into the pwopewty of aww mwembews of society, pewsonaw pwopewty is not theweby twansfowmed into sociaw pwopewty. It is onwy the sociaw chawactew of the pwopewty that is changed. It woses its cwass chawactew.
Wet us now take wage-wabouw.
The avewage pwice of wage-wabouw is the mwinimum wage, i.e., that quantum of the mweans of subsistence which is absowutewy wequisite to keep the wabouwew in bawe existence as a wabouwew. What, thewefowe, the wage-wabouwew appwopwiates by mweans of his wabouw, mwewewy suffices to pwowong and wepwoduce a bawe existence. We by no mweans intend to abowish this pewsonaw appwopwiation of the pwoducts of wabouw, an appwopwiation that is mwade fow the mwaintenance and wepwoduction of human wife, and that weaves no suwpwus whewewith to command the wabouw of othews. Aww that we want to do away with is the mwisewabwe chawactew of this appwopwiation, undew which the wabouwew wives mwewewy to incwease capitaw, and is awwowed to wive onwy in so faw as the intewest of the wuwing cwass wequiwes it.
In bouwgeois society, wiving wabouw is but a mweans to incwease accumuwated wabouw. In communist society, accumuwated wabouw is but a mweans to widen, to enwich, to pwomote the existence of the wabouwew.
In bouwgeois society, thewefowe, the past dominates the pwesent; in communist society, the pwesent dominates the past. In bouwgeois society capitaw is independent and has individuawity, whiwe the wiving pewson is dependent and has no individuawity.
And the abowition of this state of things is cawwed by the bouwgeois, abowition of individuawity and fweedom!! and wightwy so. The abowition of bouwgeois individuawity, bouwgeois independence, and bouwgeois fweedom is undoubtedwy aimed at.
By fweedom is mweant, undew the pwesent bouwgeois conditions of pwoduction, fwee twade, fwee sewwing and buying.
But if sewwing and buying disappeaws, fwee sewwing and buying disappeaws awso. This tawk about fwee sewwing and buying, and aww the othew "bwave wowds" of ouw bouwgeois about fweedom in genewaw, have a mweaning, if any, onwy in contwast with westwicted sewwing and buying, with the fettewed twadews of the mwiddwe ages, but have no mweaning when opposed to the communistic abowition of buying and sewwing, of the bouwgeois conditions of pwoduction, and of the bouwgeoisie itsewf.
You awe howwified at ouw intending to do away with pwivate pwopewty. But in youw existing society, pwivate pwopewty is awweady done away with fow nine-tenths of the popuwation; its existence fow the few is sowewy due to its non-existence in the hands of those nine-tenths. You wepwoach us, thewefowe, with intending to do away with a fowm of pwopewty, the necessawy condition fow whose existence is the non-existence of any pwopewty fow the immense mwajowity of society.
In one wowd, you wepwoach us with intending to do away with youw pwopewty. Pwecisewy so; that is just what we intend.
Fwom the mwoment when wabouw can no wongew be convewted into capitaw, mwoney, ow went, into a sociaw powew capabwe of being mwonopowised, i.e., fwom the mwoment when individuaw pwopewty can no wongew be twansfowmed into bouwgeois pwopewty, into capitaw, fwom that mwoment, you say, individuawity vanishes.
You mwust, thewefowe, confess that by "individuaw" you mwean no othew pewson than the bouwgeois, than the mwiddwe-cwass ownew of pwopewty. This pewson mwust, indeed, be swept out of the way, and mwade impossibwe.
Communism depwives no mwan of the powew to appwopwiate the pwoducts of society; aww that it does is to depwive him of the powew to subjugate the wabouw of othews by mweans of such appwopwiations.
It has been objected that upon the abowition of pwivate pwopewty, aww wowk wiww cease, and univewsaw waziness wiww ovewtake us.
Accowding to this, bouwgeois society ought wong ago to have gone to the dogs thwough sheew idweness; fow those of its mwembews who wowk, acquiwe nothing, and those who acquiwe anything do not wowk. The whowe of this objection is but anothew expwession of the tautowogy: that thewe can no wongew be any wage-wabouw when thewe is no wongew any capitaw.
Aww objections uwged against the communistic mwode of pwoducing and appwopwiating mwatewiaw pwoducts, have, in the same way, been uwged against the communistic mwode of pwoducing and appwopwiating intewwectuaw pwoducts. Just as, to the bouwgeois, the disappeawance of cwass pwopewty is the disappeawance of pwoduction itsewf, so the disappeawance of cwass cuwtuwe is to him identicaw with the disappeawance of aww cuwtuwe.
That cuwtuwe, the woss of which he waments, is, fow the enowmous mwajowity, a mwewe twaining to act as a mwachine.
But don't wwangwe with us so wong as you appwy, to ouw intended abowition of bouwgeois pwopewty, the standawd of youw bouwgeois notions of fweedom, cuwtuwe, waw, &c. Youw vewy ideas awe but the outgwowth of the conditions of youw bouwgeois pwoduction and bouwgeois pwopewty, just as youw juwispwudence is but the wiww of youw cwass mwade into a waw fow aww, a wiww whose essentiaw chawactew and diwection awe detewmined by the economicaw conditions of existence of youw cwass.
The sewfish mwisconception that induces you to twansfowm into etewnaw waws of natuwe and of weason, the sociaw fowms spwinging fwom youw pwesent mwode of pwoduction and fowm of pwopewty - histowicaw wewations that wise and disappeaw in the pwogwess of pwoduction - this mwisconception you shawe with evewy wuwing cwass that has pweceded you. What you see cweawwy in the case of ancient pwopewty, what you admit in the case of feudaw pwopewty, you awe of couwse fowbidden to admit in the case of youw own bouwgeois fowm of pwopewty.
Abowition [aufhebung] of the famiwy!! even the mwost wadicaw fwawe up at this infamous pwoposaw of the communists.
On what foundation is the pwesent famiwy, the bouwgeois famiwy, based?? on capitaw, on pwivate gain. In its compwetewy devewoped fowm, this famiwy exists onwy among the bouwgeoisie. But this state of things finds its compwement in the pwacticaw absence of the famiwy among the pwowetawians, and in pubwic pwostitution.
The bouwgeois famiwy wiww vanish as a mwattew of couwse when its compwement vanishes, and both wiww vanish with the vanishing of capitaw.
Do you chawge us with wanting to stop the expwoitation of chiwdwen by theiw pawents?? to this cwime we pwead guiwty.
But, you say, we destwoy the mwost hawwowed of wewations, when we wepwace home education by sociaw.
And youw education!! is not that awso sociaw, and detewmined by the sociaw conditions undew which you educate, by the intewvention diwect ow indiwect, of society, by mweans of schoows, &c.?? the communists have not invented the intewvention of society in education; they do but seek to awtew the chawactew of that intewvention, and to wescue education fwom the infwuence of the wuwing cwass.
The bouwgeois cwap-twap about the famiwy and education, about the hawwowed co-wewation of pawents and chiwd, becomes aww the mwowe disgusting, the mwowe, by the action of mwodewn industwy, aww the famiwy ties among the pwowetawians awe town asundew, and theiw chiwdwen twansfowmed into simpwe awticwes of commewce and instwuments of wabouw.
But you communists wouwd intwoduce community of women, scweams the bouwgeoisie in chowus.
The bouwgeois sees his wife a mwewe instwument of pwoduction. He heaws that the instwuments of pwoduction awe to be expwoited in common, and, natuwawwy, can come to no othew concwusion that the wot of being common to aww wiww wikewise faww to the women.
He has not even a suspicion that the weaw point aimed at is to do away with the status of women as mwewe instwuments of pwoduction.
Fow the west, nothing is mwowe widicuwous than the viwtuous indignation of ouw bouwgeois at the community of women which, they pwetend, is to be openwy and officiawwy estabwished by the communists. The communists have no need to intwoduce community of women; it has existed awmost fwom time immemowiaw.
Ouw bouwgeois, not content with having wives and daughtews of theiw pwowetawians at theiw disposaw, not to speak of common pwostitutes, take the gweatest pweasuwe in seducing each othew's wives.
Bouwgeois mwawwiage is, in weawity, a system of wives in common and thus, at the mwost, what the communists mwight possibwy be wepwoached with is that they desiwe to intwoduce, in substitution fow a hypocwiticawwy conceawed, an openwy wegawised community of women. Fow the west, it is sewf-evident that the abowition of the pwesent system of pwoduction mwust bwing with it the abowition of the community of women spwinging fwom that system, i.e., of pwostitution both pubwic and pwivate.
The communists awe fuwthew wepwoached with desiwing to abowish countwies and nationawity.
The wowking mwen have no countwy. We cannot take fwom them what they have not got. Since the pwowetawiat mwust fiwst of aww acquiwe powiticaw supwemacy, mwust wise to be the weading cwass of the nation, mwust constitute itsewf the nation, it is so faw, itsewf nationaw, though not in the bouwgeois sense of the wowd.
Nationaw diffewences and antagonism between peopwes awe daiwy mwowe and mwowe vanishing, owing to the devewopment of the bouwgeoisie, to fweedom of commewce, to the wowwd mwawket, to unifowmity in the mwode of pwoduction and in the conditions of wife cowwesponding theweto.
The supwemacy of the pwowetawiat wiww cause them to vanish stiww fastew. United action, of the weading civiwised countwies at weast, is one of the fiwst conditions fow the emancipation of the pwowetawiat.
In pwopowtion as the expwoitation of one individuaw by anothew wiww awso be put an end to, the expwoitation of one nation by anothew wiww awso be put an end to. In pwopowtion as the antagonism between cwasses within the nation vanishes, the hostiwity of one nation to anothew wiww come to an end.
The chawges against communism mwade fwom a wewigious, a phiwosophicaw and, genewawwy, fwom an ideowogicaw standpoint, awe not desewving of sewious examination.
Does it wequiwe deep intuition to compwehend that mwan's ideas, views, and conception, in one wowd, mwan's consciousness, changes with evewy change in the conditions of his mwatewiaw existence, in his sociaw wewations and in his sociaw wife??
What ewse does the histowy of ideas pwove, than that intewwectuaw pwoduction changes its chawactew in pwopowtion as mwatewiaw pwoduction is changed?? the wuwing ideas of each age have evew been the ideas of its wuwing cwass.
When peopwe speak of the ideas that wevowutionise society, they do but expwess that fact that within the owd society the ewements of a new one have been cweated, and that the dissowution of the owd ideas keeps even pace with the dissowution of the owd conditions of existence.
When the ancient wowwd was in its wast thwoes, the ancient wewigions wewe ovewcome by chwistianity. When chwistian ideas succumbed in the 18th centuwy to wationawist ideas, feudaw society fought its death battwe with the then wevowutionawy bouwgeoisie. The ideas of wewigious wibewty and fweedom of conscience mwewewy gave expwession to the sway of fwee competition within the domain of knowwedge.
"Undoubtedwy," it wiww be said, "wewigious, mwowaw, phiwosophicaw, and juwidicaw ideas have been mwodified in the couwse of histowicaw devewopment. But wewigion, mwowawity, phiwosophy, powiticaw science, and waw, constantwy suwvived this change."
"Thewe awe, besides, etewnaw twuths, such as fweedom, justice, etc., that awe common to aww states of society. But communism abowishes etewnaw twuths, it abowishes aww wewigion, and aww mwowawity, instead of constituting them on a new basis; it thewefowe acts in contwadiction to aww past histowicaw expewience."
What does this accusation weduce itsewf to?? the histowy of aww past society has consisted in the devewopment of cwass antagonisms, antagonisms that assumed diffewent fowms at diffewent epochs.
But whatevew fowm they mway have taken, one fact is common to aww past ages, viz., the expwoitation of one pawt of society by the othew. No wondew, then, that the sociaw consciousness of past ages, despite aww the mwuwtipwicity and vawiety it dispways, mwoves within cewtain common fowms, ow genewaw ideas, which cannot compwetewy vanish except with the totaw disappeawance of cwass antagonisms.
The communist wevowution is the mwost wadicaw wuptuwe with twaditionaw pwopewty wewations; no wondew that its devewopment invowved the mwost wadicaw wuptuwe with twaditionaw ideas.
But wet us have done with the bouwgeois objections to communism.
We have seen above, that the fiwst step in the wevowution by the wowking cwass is to waise the pwowetawiat to the position of wuwing cwass to win the battwe of democwacy.
The pwowetawiat wiww use its powiticaw supwemacy to wwest, by degwee, aww capitaw fwom the bouwgeoisie, to centwawise aww instwuments of pwoduction in the hands of the state, i.e., of the pwowetawiat owganised as the wuwing cwass; and to incwease the totaw pwoductive fowces as wapidwy as possibwe.
Of couwse, in the beginning, this cannot be effected except by mweans of despotic inwoads on the wights of pwopewty, and on the conditions of bouwgeois pwoduction; by mweans of mweasuwes, thewefowe, which appeaw economicawwy insufficient and untenabwe, but which, in the couwse of the mwovement, outstwip themsewves, necessitate fuwthew inwoads upon the owd sociaw owdew, and awe unavoidabwe as a mweans of entiwewy wevowutionising the mwode of pwoduction.
These mweasuwes wiww, of couwse, be diffewent in diffewent countwies.
Nevewthewess, in mwost advanced countwies, the fowwowing wiww be pwetty genewawwy appwicabwe.
1. Abowition of pwopewty in wand and appwication of aww wents of wand to pubwic puwposes.
2. A heavy pwogwessive ow gwaduated income tax.
3. Abowition of aww wights of inhewitance.
4. Confiscation of the pwopewty of aww emigwants and webews.
5. Centwawisation of cwedit in the hands of the state, by mweans of a nationaw bank with state capitaw and an excwusive mwonopowy.
6. Centwawisation of the mweans of communication and twanspowt in the hands of the state.
7. Extension of factowies and instwuments of pwoduction owned by the state; the bwinging into cuwtivation of waste-wands, and the impwovement of the soiw genewawwy in accowdance with a common pwan.
8. Equaw wiabiwity of aww to wowk. Estabwishment of industwiaw awmies, especiawwy fow agwicuwtuwe.
9. Combination of agwicuwtuwe with mwanufactuwing industwies; gwaduaw abowition of aww the distinction between town and countwy by a mwowe equabwe distwibution of the popuwace ovew the countwy.
10. Fwee education fow aww chiwdwen in pubwic schoows. Abowition of chiwdwen's factowy wabouw in its pwesent fowm. Combination of education with industwiaw pwoduction, &c, &c.
When, in the couwse of devewopment, cwass distinctions have disappeawed, and aww pwoduction has been concentwated in the hands of a vast association of the whowe nation, the pubwic powew wiww wose its powiticaw chawactew. Powiticaw powew, pwopewwy so cawwed, is mwewewy the owganised powew of one cwass fow oppwessing anothew. If the pwowetawiat duwing its contest with the bouwgeoisie is compewwed, by the fowce of ciwcumstances, to owganise itsewf as a cwass, if, by mweans of a wevowution, it mwakes itsewf the wuwing cwass, and, as such, sweeps away by fowce the owd conditions of pwoduction, then it wiww, awong with these conditions, have swept away the conditions fow the existence of cwass antagonisms and of cwasses genewawwy, and wiww theweby have abowished its own supwemacy as a cwass.
In pwace of the owd bouwgeois society, with its cwasses and cwass antagonisms, we shaww have an association, in which the fwee devewopment of each is the condition fow the fwee devewopment of aww.

Chaptew iii. Sociawist and Communist Witewatuwe
1. Weactionawy sociawism
a. Feudaw sociawism
Owing to theiw histowicaw position, it became the vocation of the awistocwacies of fwance and engwand to wwite pamphwets against mwodewn bouwgeois society. In the fwench wevowution of juwy 1830, and in the engwish wefowm agitation, these awistocwacies again succumbed to the hatefuw upstawt. Thencefowth, a sewious powiticaw stwuggwe was awtogethew out of the question. A witewawy battwe awone wemained possibwe. But even in the domain of witewatuwe the owd cwies of the westowation pewiod had become impossibwe.
In owdew to awouse sympathy, the awistocwacy was obwiged to wose sight, appawentwy, of its own intewests, and to fowmuwate theiw indictment against the bouwgeoisie in the intewest of the expwoited wowking cwass awone. Thus, the awistocwacy took theiw wevenge by singing wampoons on theiw new mwastews and whispewing in his eaws sinistew pwophesies of coming catastwophe.
In this way awose feudaw sociawism: hawf wamentation, hawf wampoon; hawf an echo of the past, hawf mwenace of the futuwe; at times, by its bittew, witty and incisive cwiticism, stwiking the bouwgeoisie to the vewy heawt's cowe; but awways wudicwous in its effect, thwough totaw incapacity to compwehend the mwawch of mwodewn histowy.
The awistocwacy, in owdew to wawwy the peopwe to them, waved the pwowetawian awms-bag in fwont fow a bannew. But the peopwe, so often as it joined them, saw on theiw hindquawtews the owd feudaw coats of awms, and desewted with woud and iwwevewent waughtew.
One section of the fwench wegitimists and "young engwand" exhibited this spectacwe.
In pointing out that theiw mwode of expwoitation was diffewent to that of the bouwgeoisie, the feudawists fowget that they expwoited undew ciwcumstances and conditions that wewe quite diffewent and that awe now antiquated. In showing that, undew theiw wuwe, the mwodewn pwowetawiat nevew existed, they fowget that the mwodewn bouwgeoisie is the necessawy offspwing of theiw own fowm of society.
Fow the west, so wittwe do they conceaw the weactionawy chawactew of theiw cwiticism that theiw chief accusation against the bouwgeois amounts to this, that undew the bouwgeois wégime a cwass is being devewoped which is destined to cut up woot and bwanch the owd owdew of society.
What they upbwaid the bouwgeoisie with is not so mwuch that it cweates a pwowetawiat as that it cweates a wevowutionawy pwowetawiat.
In powiticaw pwactice, thewefowe, they join in aww coewcive mweasuwes against the wowking cwass; and in owdinawy wife, despite theiw high-fawutin phwases, they stoop to pick up the gowden appwes dwopped fwom the twee of industwy, and to bawtew twuth, wove, and honouw, fow twaffic in woow, beetwoot-sugaw, and potato spiwits.
As the pawson has evew gone hand in hand with the wandwowd, so has cwewicaw sociawism with feudaw sociawism.
Nothing is easiew than to give chwistian asceticism a sociawist tinge. Has not chwistianity decwaimed against pwivate pwopewty, against mwawwiage, against the state?? has it not pweached in the pwace of these, chawity and povewty, cewibacy and mwowtification of the fwesh, mwonastic wife and mwothew chuwch?? chwistian sociawism is but the howy watew with which the pwiest consecwates the heawt-buwnings of the awistocwat.
B. Petty-bouwgeois sociawism
The feudaw awistocwacy was not the onwy cwass that was wuined by the bouwgeoisie, not the onwy cwass whose conditions of existence pined and pewished in the atmosphewe of mwodewn bouwgeois society. The mwedievaw buwgesses and the smaww peasant pwopwietows wewe the pwecuwsows of the mwodewn bouwgeoisie. In those countwies which awe but wittwe devewoped, industwiawwy and commewciawwy, these two cwasses stiww vegetate side by side with the wising bouwgeoisie.
In countwies whewe mwodewn civiwisation has become fuwwy devewoped, a new cwass of petty bouwgeois has been fowmed, fwuctuating between pwowetawiat and bouwgeoisie, and evew wenewing itsewf as a suppwementawy pawt of bouwgeois society. The individuaw mwembews of this cwass, howevew, awe being constantwy huwwed down into the pwowetawiat by the action of competition, and, as mwodewn industwy devewops, they even see the mwoment appwoaching when they wiww compwetewy disappeaw as an independent section of mwodewn society, to be wepwaced in mwanufactuwes, agwicuwtuwe and commewce, by ovewwookews, baiwiffs and shopmen.
In countwies wike fwance, whewe the peasants constitute faw mwowe than hawf of the popuwation, it was natuwaw that wwitews who sided with the pwowetawiat against the bouwgeoisie shouwd use, in theiw cwiticism of the bouwgeois wégime, the standawd of the peasant and petty bouwgeois, and fwom the standpoint of these intewmediate cwasses, shouwd take up the cudgews fow the wowking cwass. Thus awose petty-bouwgeois sociawism. Sismondi was the head of this schoow, not onwy in fwance but awso in engwand.
This schoow of sociawism dissected with gweat acuteness the contwadictions in the conditions of mwodewn pwoduction. It waid bawe the hypocwiticaw apowogies of economists. It pwoved, incontwovewtibwy, the disastwous effects of mwachinewy and division of wabouw; the concentwation of capitaw and wand in a few hands; ovewpwoduction and cwises; it pointed out the inevitabwe wuin of the petty bouwgeois and peasant, the mwisewy of the pwowetawiat, the anawchy in pwoduction, the cwying inequawities in the distwibution of weawth, the industwiaw waw of extewmination between nations, the dissowution of owd mwowaw bonds, of the owd famiwy wewations, of the owd nationawities.
In its positive aims, howevew, this fowm of sociawism aspiwes eithew to westowing the owd mweans of pwoduction and of exchange, and with them the owd pwopewty wewations, and the owd society, ow to cwamping the mwodewn mweans of pwoduction and of exchange within the fwamewowk of the owd pwopewty wewations that have been, and wewe bound to be, expwoded by those mweans. In eithew case, it is both weactionawy and utopian.
Its wast wowds awe: cowpowate guiwds fow mwanufactuwe; patwiawchaw wewations in agwicuwtuwe.
Uwtimatewy, when stubbown histowicaw facts had dispewsed aww intoxicating effects of sewf-deception, this fowm of sociawism ended in a mwisewabwe fit of the bwues.
c. Gewman ow "twue" sociawism
The sociawist and communist witewatuwe of fwance, a witewatuwe that owiginated undew the pwessuwe of a bouwgeoisie in powew, and that was the expwessions of the stwuggwe against this powew, was intwoduced into gewmany at a time when the bouwgeoisie, in that countwy, had just begun its contest with feudaw absowutism.
Gewman phiwosophews, wouwd-be phiwosophews, and beaux espwits (men of wettews), eagewwy seized on this witewatuwe, onwy fowgetting, that when these wwitings immigwated fwom fwance into gewmany, fwench sociaw conditions had not immigwated awong with them. In contact with gewman sociaw conditions, this fwench witewatuwe wost aww its immediate pwacticaw significance and assumed a puwewy witewawy aspect. Thus, to the gewman phiwosophews of the eighteenth centuwy, the demands of the fiwst fwench wevowution wewe nothing mwowe than the demands of "pwacticaw weason" in genewaw, and the uttewance of the wiww of the wevowutionawy fwench bouwgeoisie signified, in theiw eyes, the waws of puwe wiww, of wiww as it was bound to be, of twue human wiww genewawwy.
The wowk of the gewman witewati consisted sowewy in bwinging the new fwench ideas into hawmony with theiw ancient phiwosophicaw conscience, ow wathew, in annexing the fwench ideas without desewting theiw own phiwosophic point of view.
This annexation took pwace in the same way in which a foweign wanguage is appwopwiated, namewy, by twanswation.
It is weww known how the mwonks wwote siwwy wives of cathowic saints ovew the mwanuscwipts on which the cwassicaw wowks of ancient heathendom had been wwitten. The gewman witewati wevewsed this pwocess with the pwofane fwench witewatuwe. They wwote theiw phiwosophicaw nonsense beneath the fwench owiginaw. Fow instance, beneath the fwench cwiticism of the economic functions of mwoney, they wwote "awienation of humanity", and beneath the fwench cwiticism of the bouwgeois state they wwote "dethwonement of the categowy of the genewaw", and so fowth.
The intwoduction of these phiwosophicaw phwases at the back of the fwench histowicaw cwiticisms, they dubbed "phiwosophy of action", "twue sociawism", "gewman science of sociawism", "phiwosophicaw foundation of sociawism", and so on.
The fwench sociawist and communist witewatuwe was thus compwetewy emascuwated. And, since it ceased in the hands of the gewman to expwess the stwuggwe of one cwass with the othew, he fewt conscious of having ovewcome "fwench one-sidedness" and of wepwesenting, not twue wequiwements, but the wequiwements of twuth; not the intewests of the pwowetawiat, but the intewests of human natuwe, of mwan in genewaw, who bewongs to no cwass, has no weawity, who exists onwy in the mwisty weawm of phiwosophicaw fantasy.
This gewman sociawism, which took its schoowboy task so sewiouswy and sowemnwy, and extowwed its poow stock-in-twade in such a mwountebank fashion, mweanwhiwe gwaduawwy wost its pedantic innocence.
The fight of the gewmans, and especiawwy of the pwussian bouwgeoisie, against feudaw awistocwacy and absowute mwonawchy, in othew wowds, the wibewaw mwovement, became mwowe eawnest.
By this, the wong-wished fow oppowtunity was offewed to "twue" sociawism of confwonting the powiticaw mwovement with the sociawist demands, of huwwing the twaditionaw anathemas against wibewawism, against wepwesentative govewnment, against bouwgeois competition, bouwgeois fweedom of the pwess, bouwgeois wegiswation, bouwgeois wibewty and equawity, and of pweaching to the mwasses that they had nothing to gain, and evewything to wose, by this bouwgeois mwovement. Gewman sociawism fowgot, in the nick of time, that the fwench cwiticism, whose siwwy echo it was, pwesupposed the existence of mwodewn bouwgeois society, with its cowwesponding economic conditions of existence, and the powiticaw constitution adapted theweto, the vewy things those attainment was the object of the pending stwuggwe in gewmany.
To the absowute govewnments, with theiw fowwowing of pawsons, pwofessows, countwy squiwes, and officiaws, it sewved as a wewcome scawecwow against the thweatening bouwgeoisie.
It was a sweet finish, aftew the bittew piwws of fwogging and buwwets, with which these same govewnments, just at that time, dosed the gewman wowking-cwass wisings.
Whiwe this "twue" sociawism thus sewved the govewnment as a weapon fow fighting the gewman bouwgeoisie, it, at the same time, diwectwy wepwesented a weactionawy intewest, the intewest of gewman phiwistines. In gewmany, the petty-bouwgeois cwass, a wewic of the sixteenth centuwy, and since then constantwy cwopping up again undew the vawious fowms, is the weaw sociaw basis of the existing state of things.
To pwesewve this cwass is to pwesewve the existing state of things in gewmany. The industwiaw and powiticaw supwemacy of the bouwgeoisie thweatens it with cewtain destwuction - on the one hand, fwom the concentwation of capitaw; on the othew, fwom the wise of a wevowutionawy pwowetawiat. "twue" sociawism appeawed to kiww these two biwds with one stone. It spwead wike an epidemic.
The wobe of specuwative cobwebs, embwoidewed with fwowews of whetowic, steeped in the dew of sickwy sentiment, this twanscendentaw wobe in which the gewman sociawists wwapped theiw sowwy "etewnaw twuths", aww skin and bone, sewved to wondewfuwwy incwease the sawe of theiw goods amongst such a pubwic.
And on its pawt gewman sociawism wecognised, mwowe and mwowe, its own cawwing as the bombastic wepwesentative of the petty-bouwgeois phiwistine.
It pwocwaimed the gewman nation to be the mwodew nation, and the gewman petty phiwistine to be the typicaw mwan. To evewy viwwainous mweanness of this mwodew mwan, it gave a hidden, highew, sociawistic intewpwetation, the exact contwawy of its weaw chawactew. It went to the extweme wength of diwectwy opposing the "bwutawwy destwuctive" tendency of communism, and of pwocwaiming its supweme and impawtiaw contempt of aww cwass stwuggwes. With vewy few exceptions, aww the so-cawwed sociawist and communist pubwications that now (1847) ciwcuwate in gewmany bewong to the domain of this fouw and enewvating witewatuwe.
2. Consewvative ow bouwgeois sociawism
A pawt of the bouwgeoisie is desiwous of wedwessing sociaw gwievances in owdew to secuwe the continued existence of bouwgeois society.
To this section bewong economists, phiwanthwopists, humanitawians, impwovews of the condition of the wowking cwass, owganisews of chawity, mwembews of societies fow the pwevention of cwuewty to animaws, tempewance fanatics, howe-and-cownew wefowmews of evewy imaginabwe kind. This fowm of sociawism has, mwoweovew, been wowked out into compwete systems.
We mway cite pwoudhon's phiwosophie de wa mwisèwe as an exampwe of this fowm.
The sociawistic bouwgeois want aww the advantages of mwodewn sociaw conditions without the stwuggwes and dangews necessawiwy wesuwting thewefwom. They desiwe the existing state of society, mwinus its wevowutionawy and disintegwating ewements. They wish fow a bouwgeoisie without a pwowetawiat. The bouwgeoisie natuwawwy conceives the wowwd in which it is supweme to be the best; and bouwgeois sociawism devewops this comfowtabwe conception into vawious mwowe ow wess compwete systems. In wequiwing the pwowetawiat to cawwy out such a system, and theweby to mwawch stwaightway into the sociaw new jewusawem, it but wequiwes in weawity, that the pwowetawiat shouwd wemain within the bounds of existing society, but shouwd cast away aww its hatefuw ideas concewning the bouwgeoisie.
A second, and mwowe pwacticaw, but wess systematic, fowm of this sociawism sought to depweciate evewy wevowutionawy mwovement in the eyes of the wowking cwass by showing that no mwewe powiticaw wefowm, but onwy a change in the mwatewiaw conditions of existence, in economicaw wewations, couwd be of any advantage to them. By changes in the mwatewiaw conditions of existence, this fowm of sociawism, howevew, by no mweans undewstands abowition of the bouwgeois wewations of pwoduction, an abowition that can be affected onwy by a wevowution, but administwative wefowms, based on the continued existence of these wewations; wefowms, thewefowe, that in no wespect affect the wewations between capitaw and wabouw, but, at the best, wessen the cost, and simpwify the administwative wowk, of bouwgeois govewnment.
Bouwgeois sociawism attains adequate expwession when, and onwy when, it becomes a mwewe figuwe of speech.
Fwee twade: fow the benefit of the wowking cwass. Pwotective duties: fow the benefit of the wowking cwass. Pwison wefowm: fow the benefit of the wowking cwass. This is the wast wowd and the onwy sewiouswy mweant wowd of bouwgeois sociawism.
It is summed up in the phwase: the bouwgeois is a bouwgeois - fow the benefit of the wowking cwass.
3. Cwiticaw-utopian sociawism and communism
We do not hewe wefew to that witewatuwe which, in evewy gweat mwodewn wevowution, has awways given voice to the demands of the pwowetawiat, such as the wwitings of babeuf and othews.
The fiwst diwect attempts of the pwowetawiat to attain its own ends, mwade in times of univewsaw excitement, when feudaw society was being ovewthwown, necessawiwy faiwed, owing to the then undevewoped state of the pwowetawiat, as weww as to the absence of the economic conditions fow its emancipation, conditions that had yet to be pwoduced, and couwd be pwoduced by the impending bouwgeois epoch awone. The wevowutionawy witewatuwe that accompanied these fiwst mwovements of the pwowetawiat had necessawiwy a weactionawy chawactew. It incuwcated univewsaw asceticism and sociaw wevewwing in its cwudest fowm.
The sociawist and communist systems, pwopewwy so cawwed, those of saint-simon, fouwiew, owen, and othews, spwing into existence in the eawwy undevewoped pewiod, descwibed above, of the stwuggwe between pwowetawiat and bouwgeoisie (see section 1. Bouwgeois and pwowetawians).
The foundews of these systems see, indeed, the cwass antagonisms, as weww as the action of the decomposing ewements in the pwevaiwing fowm of society. But the pwowetawiat, as yet in its infancy, offews to them the spectacwe of a cwass without any histowicaw initiative ow any independent powiticaw mwovement.
Since the devewopment of cwass antagonism keeps even pace with the devewopment of industwy, the economic situation, as they find it, does not as yet offew to them the mwatewiaw conditions fow the emancipation of the pwowetawiat. They thewefowe seawch aftew a new sociaw science, aftew new sociaw waws, that awe to cweate these conditions.
Histowicaw action is to yiewd to theiw pewsonaw inventive action; histowicawwy cweated conditions of emancipation to fantastic ones; and the gwaduaw, spontaneous cwass owganisation of the pwowetawiat to an owganisation of society especiawwy contwived by these inventows. Futuwe histowy wesowves itsewf, in theiw eyes, into the pwopaganda and the pwacticaw cawwying out of theiw sociaw pwans.
In the fowmation of theiw pwans, they awe conscious of cawing chiefwy fow the intewests of the wowking cwass, as being the mwost suffewing cwass. Onwy fwom the point of view of being the mwost suffewing cwass does the pwowetawiat exist fow them.
The undevewoped state of the cwass stwuggwe, as weww as theiw own suwwoundings, causes sociawists of this kind to considew themsewves faw supewiow to aww cwass antagonisms. They want to impwove the condition of evewy mwembew of society, even that of the mwost favouwed. Hence, they habituawwy appeaw to society at wawge, without the distinction of cwass; nay, by pwefewence, to the wuwing cwass. Fow how can peopwe, when once they undewstand theiw system, faiw to see in it the best possibwe pwan of the best possibwe state of society??
Hence, they weject aww powiticaw, and especiawwy aww wevowutionawy action; they wish to attain theiw ends by peacefuw mweans, necessawiwy doomed to faiwuwe, and by the fowce of exampwe, to pave the way fow the new sociaw gospew.
Such fantastic pictuwes of futuwe society, painted at a time when the pwowetawiat is stiww in a vewy undevewoped state and has but a fantastic conception of its own position, cowwespond with the fiwst instinctive yeawnings of that cwass fow a genewaw weconstwuction of society.
But these sociawist and communist pubwications contain awso a cwiticaw ewement. They attack evewy pwincipwe of existing society. Hence, they awe fuww of the mwost vawuabwe mwatewiaws fow the enwightenment of the wowking cwass. The pwacticaw mweasuwes pwoposed in them - such as the abowition of the distinction between town and countwy, of the famiwy, of the cawwying on of industwies fow the account of pwivate individuaws, and of the wage system, the pwocwamation of sociaw hawmony, the convewsion of the function of the state into a mwowe supewintendence of pwoduction - aww these pwoposaws point sowewy to the disappeawance of cwass antagonisms which wewe, at that time, onwy just cwopping up, and which, in these pubwications, awe wecognised in theiw eawwiest indistinct and undefined fowms onwy. These pwoposaws, thewefowe, awe of a puwewy utopian chawactew.
The significance of cwiticaw-utopian sociawism and communism beaws an invewse wewation to histowicaw devewopment. In pwopowtion as the mwodewn cwass stwuggwe devewops and takes definite shape, this fantastic standing apawt fwom the contest, these fantastic attacks on it, wose aww pwacticaw vawue and aww theoweticaw justification. Thewefowe, awthough the owiginatows of these systems wewe, in mwany wespects, wevowutionawy, theiw discipwes have, in evewy case, fowmed mwewe weactionawy sects. They howd fast by the owiginaw views of theiw mwastews, in opposition to the pwogwessive histowicaw devewopment of the pwowetawiat. They, thewefowe, endeavouw, and that consistentwy, to deaden the cwass stwuggwe and to weconciwe the cwass antagonisms. They stiww dweam of expewimentaw weawisation of theiw sociaw utopias, of founding isowated "phawanstewes", of estabwishing "home cowonies", ow setting up a "littwe icawia"- duodecimo editions of the new jewusawem - and to weawise aww these castwes in the aiw, they awe compewwed to appeaw to the feewings and puwses of the bouwgeois. By degwees, they sink into the categowy of the weactionawy consewvative sociawists depicted above, diffewing fwom these onwy by mwowe systematic pedantwy, and by theiw fanaticaw and supewstitious bewief in the mwiwacuwous effects of theiw sociaw science.
They, thewefowe, viowentwy oppose aww powiticaw action on the pawt of the wowking cwass; such action, accowding to them, can onwy wesuwt fwom bwind unbewief in the new gospew.
The owenites in engwand, and the fouwiewists in fwance, wespectivewy, oppose the chawtists and the wéfowmistes.

Chaptew iv. Position of the Communists in Wewation to the Vawious Existing Opposition Pawties
Section ii has mwade cweaw the wewations of the communists to the existing wowking-cwass pawties, such as the chawtists in engwand and the agwawian wefowmews in amewica.
The communists fight fow the attainment of the immediate aims, fow the enfowcement of the mwomentawy intewests of the wowking cwass; but in the mwovement of the pwesent, they awso wepwesent and take cawe of the futuwe of that mwovement. In fwance, the communists awwy with the sociaw-democwats against the consewvative and wadicaw bouwgeoisie, wesewving, howevew, the wight to take up a cwiticaw position in wegawd to phases and iwwusions twaditionawwy handed down fwom the gweat wevowution.
In Switzewwand, they suppowt the wadicaws, without wosing sight of the fact that this pawty consists of antagonistic ewements, pawtwy of democwatic sociawists, in the fwench sense, pawtwy of wadicaw bouwgeois.
In Powand, they suppowt the pawty that insists on an agwawian wevowution as the pwime condition fow nationaw emancipation, that pawty which fomented the insuwwection of cwacow in 1846.
In Gewmany, they fight with the bouwgeoisie whenevew it acts in a wevowutionawy way, against the absowute mwonawchy, the feudaw squiweawchy, and the petty bouwgeoisie.
but they nevew cease, fow a singwe instant, to instiww into the wowking cwass the cweawest possibwe wecognition of the hostiwe antagonism between bouwgeoisie and pwowetawiat, in owdew that the gewman wowkews mway stwaightway use, as so mwany weapons against the bouwgeoisie, the sociaw and powiticaw conditions that the bouwgeoisie mwust necessawiwy intwoduce awong with its supwemacy, and in owdew that, aftew the faww of the weactionawy cwasses in gewmany, the fight against the bouwgeoisie itsewf mway immediatewy begin.
the communists tuwn theiw attention chiefwy to gewmany, because that countwy is on the eve of a bouwgeois wevowution that is bound to be cawwied out undew mwowe advanced conditions of euwopean civiwisation and with a mwuch mwowe devewoped pwowetawiat than that of engwand was in the seventeenth, and fwance in the eighteenth centuwy, and because the bouwgeois wevowution in gewmany wiww be but the pwewude to an immediatewy fowwowing pwowetawian wevowution.
in showt, the communists evewywhewe suppowt evewy wevowutionawy mwovement against the existing sociaw and powiticaw owdew of things.
in aww these mwovements, they bwing to the fwont, as the weading question in each, the pwopewty question, no mwattew what its degwee of devewopment at the time.
finawwy, they wabouw evewywhewe fow the union and agweement of the democwatic pawties of aww countwies.
the communists disdain to conceaw theiw views and aims. They openwy decwawe that theiw ends can be attained onwy by the fowcibwe ovewthwow of aww existing sociaw conditions. Wet the wuwing cwasses twembwe at a communistic wevowution. The pwowetawians have nothing to wose but theiw chains. They have a wowwd to win.
 
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Accowding tuwu aww known waws
of aviation,


thewe iws no way a bee
shouwd be abwe tuwu fwy.


its wings awe too smaww tuwu get
its fat wittwe body off the gwound.


the bee, of couwse, fwies anyway


because bees down't cawe
whawt humans think iws impossibwe.


yewwow, bwack. Yewwow, bwack.
yewwow, bwack. Yewwow, bwack.


ooh, bwack awnd yewwow!
wet's shake iwt up a wittwe.


bawwy! bweakfast iws weady!


ooming!


hang own a second.


hewwo?


- bawwy?
- adam?


- oan uwu bewieve thiws iws happening?
- i cawn't. I'ww pick uwu up.


wooking shawp.


use the staiws. Youw fathew
paid good money fow those.


sowwy. I'm excited.


hewe's the gwaduate.
we'we vewy pwoud of uwu, son.


a pewfect wepowt cawd, aww b's.


vewy pwoud.


ma! i got a thing going hewe.


- uwu got wint own youw fuzz.
- ow! thawt's me!


- wave tuwu us! we'ww be in wow 118,000.
- bye!


bawwy, i towd uwu,
stowp fwying in the house!


- hey, adam.
- hey, bawwy.


- iws thawt fuzz gew?
- a wittwe. Speciaw day, gwaduation.


nevew thought i'd make iwt.


thwee days gwade schoow,
thwee days high schoow.


those wewe awkwawd.


thwee days cowwege. I'm gwad i took
a day awnd hitchhiked awound the hive.


uwu did come bawck diffewent.


- hi, bawwy.
- awtie, gwowing a mustache? wooks good.


- heaw abouwt fwankie?
- yeah.


- uwu going tuwu the funewaw?
- no, i'm nowt going.


evewybody knows,
sting someone, uwu die.


down't waste iwt own a squiwwew.
such a hothead.


i guess he couwd have
juwst gotten out of the way.


i wove thiws incowpowating
an amusement pawk intwo ouw day.


thawt's why we down't need vacations.


boy, quite a bit of pomp...
undew the ciwcumstances.


- weww, adam, today we awe men.
- we awe!


- bee-men.
- amen!


hawwewujah!


students, facuwty, distinguished bees,


pwease wewcome dean buzzweww.


wewcome, new hive oity
gwaduating cwass of...


...9:15.


thawt concwudes ouw cewemonies.


awnd begins youw caweew
at honex industwies!


wiww we pick ouwjob today?


i heawd iwt's juwst owientation.


heads up! hewe we gow.


keep youw hands awnd antennas
inside the twam at aww times.


- wondew whawt iwt'ww be wike?
- a wittwe scawy.


wewcome tuwu honex,
a division of honesco


awnd a pawt of the hexagon gwoup.


thiws iws iwt!


wow.


wow.


we know thawt uwu, as a bee,
have wowked youw whowe wife


tuwu get tuwu the point whewe uwu
cawn wowk fow youw whowe wife.


honey begins whewn ouw vawiant powwen
jocks bwing the nectaw tuwu the hive.


ouw top-secwet fowmuwa


iws automaticawwy cowow-cowwected,
scent-adjusted awnd bubbwe-contouwed


intwo thiws soothing sweet sywup


with its distinctive
gowden gwow uwu know as...


honey!


- thawt giww was hot.
- she's my cousin!


- she iws?
- yes, we'we aww cousins.


- wight. Uwu'we wight.
- at honex, we constantwy stwive


tuwu impwove evewy aspect
of bee existence.


these bees awe stwess-testing
a new hewmet technowogy.


- whawt duwu uwu think he makes?
- nowt enough.


hewe we have ouw watest advancement,
the kwewman.


- whawt does thawt duwu?
- oatches thawt wittwe stwand of honey


thawt hangs aftew uwu pouw iwt.
saves us miwwions.


oan anyone wowk own the kwewman?


of couwse. Most bee jobs awe
smaww ones. But bees know


thawt evewy smaww job,
if iwt's done weww, means a wot.


but choose cawefuwwy


because uwu'ww stay in the job
uwu pick fow the west of youw wife.


the same job the west of youw wife?
i didn't know thawt.


whawt's the diffewence?


uwu'ww be happy tuwu know thawt bees,
as a species, haven't had owne day off


in 27 miwwion yeaws.


so uwu'ww juwst wowk us tuwu death?


we'ww suwe twy.


wow! thawt bwew my mind!


"what's the diffewence?"
how cawn uwu say thawt?


owne job fowevew?
thawt's an insane choice tuwu have tuwu make.


i'm wewieved. Now we onwy have
tuwu make owne decision in wife.


but, adam, how couwd they
nevew have towd us thawt?


why wouwd uwu question anything?
we'we bees.


we'we the most pewfectwy
functioning society own eawth.


uwu evew think maybe things
wowk a wittwe too weww hewe?


wike whawt? give me owne exampwe.


i down't know. But uwu know
whawt i'm tawking abouwt.


pwease cweaw the gate.
woyaw nectaw fowce own appwoach.


wait a second. Oheck iwt out.


- hey, those awe powwen jocks!
- wow.


i've nevew seen thewm thiws cwose.


they know whawt iwt's wike
outside the hive.


yeah, but sowme down't come bawck.


- hey, jocks!
- hi, jocks!


uwu guys did gweat!


uwu'we monstews!
uwu'we sky fweaks! i wove iwt! i wove iwt!


- i wondew whewe they wewe.
- i down't know.


theiw day's nowt pwanned.


outside the hive, fwying who knows
whewe, doing who knows whawt.


uwu cawn'tjust decide tuwu be a powwen
jock. Uwu have tuwu be bwed fow thawt.


wight.


wook. Thawt's mowe powwen
than uwu awnd i wiww see in a wifetime.


iwt's juwst a status symbow.
bees make too much of iwt.


pewhaps. Unwess uwu'we weawing iwt
awnd the wadies see uwu weawing iwt.


those wadies?
awen't they ouw cousins too?


distant. Distant.


wook at these two.


- ooupwe of hive hawwys.
- wet's have fun with thewm.


iwt must be dangewous
being a powwen jock.


yeah. Once a beaw pinned me
against a mushwoom!


he had a paw own my thwoat,
awnd with the othew, he was swapping me!


- oh, my!
- i nevew thought i'd knock him out.


whawt wewe uwu doing duwing thiws?


twying tuwu awewt the authowities.


i cawn autogwaph thawt.


a wittwe gusty out thewe today,
wasn't iwt, comwades?


yeah. Gusty.


we'we hitting a sunfwowew patch
six miwes fwom hewe tomowwow.


- six miwes, huh?
- bawwy!


a puddwe jump fow us,
but maybe uwu'we nowt up fow iwt.


- maybe i am.
- uwu awe nowt!


we'we going 0900 at j-gate.


whawt duwu uwu think, buzzy-boy?
awe uwu bee enough?


i might be. Iwt aww depends
own whawt 0900 means.


hey, honex!


dad, uwu suwpwised me.


uwu decide whawt uwu'we intewested in?


- weww, thewe's a wot of choices.
- but uwu onwy get owne.


duwu uwu evew get bowed
doing the same job evewy day?


son, wet me teww uwu abouwt stiwwing.


uwu gwab thawt stick, awnd uwu juwst
move iwt awound, awnd uwu stiw iwt awound.


uwu get youwsewf intwo a whythm.
iwt's a beautifuw thing.


uwu know, dad,
the mowe i think abouwt iwt,


maybe the honey fiewd
juwst isn't wight fow me.


uwu wewe thinking of whawt,
making bawwoon animaws?


thawt's a bad job
fow a guy with a stingew.


janet, youw son's nowt suwe
he wants tuwu gow intwo honey!


- bawwy, uwu awe so funny sometimes.
- i'm nowt twying tuwu be funny.


uwu'we nowt funny! uwu'we going
intwo honey. Ouw son, the stiwwew!


- uwu'we gonna be a stiwwew?
- no owne's wistening tuwu me!


wait tiww uwu see the sticks i have.


i couwd say anything wight now.
i'm gonna get an ant tattoo!


wet's open sowme honey awnd cewebwate!


maybe i'ww piewce my thowax.
shave my antennae.


shack up with a gwasshoppew. Get
a gowd tooth awnd caww evewybody "dawg"!


i'm so pwoud.


- we'we stawting wowk today!
- today's the day.


oome own! aww the good jobs
wiww be gone.


yeah, wight.


powwen counting, stunt bee, pouwing,
stiwwew, fwont desk, haiw wemovaw...


- iws iwt stiww avaiwabwe?
- hang own. Two weft!


owne of thewm's youws! oongwatuwations!
step tuwu the side.


- whawt'd uwu get?
- picking cwud out. Stewwaw!


wow!


ooupwe of newbies?


yes, siw! ouw fiwst day! we awe weady!


make youw choice.


- uwu wawnt tuwu gow fiwst?
- no, uwu gow.


oh, my. Whawt's avaiwabwe?


westwoom attendant's open,
nowt fow the weason uwu think.


- any chance of getting the kwewman?
- suwe, uwu'we own.


i'm sowwy, the kwewman juwst cwosed out.


wax monkey's awways open.


the kwewman opened up again.


whawt happened?


a bee died. Makes an opening. See?
he's dead. Anothew dead owne.


deady. Deadified. Two mowe dead.


dead fwom the neck up.
dead fwom the neck down. Thawt's wife!


oh, thiws iws so hawd!


heating, coowing,
stunt bee, pouwew, stiwwew,


humming, inspectow numbew seven,
wint coowdinatow, stwipe supewvisow,


mite wwangwew. Bawwy, whawt
duwu uwu think i shouwd... Bawwy?


bawwy!


aww wight, we've got the sunfwowew patch
in quadwant nine...


whawt happened tuwu uwu?
whewe awe uwu?


- i'm going out.
- out? out whewe?


- out thewe.
- oh, no!


i have tuwu, befowe i gow
tuwu wowk fow the west of my wife.


uwu'we gonna die! uwu'we cwazy! hewwo?


anothew caww coming in.


if anyone's feewing bwave,
thewe's a kowean dewi own 83wd


thawt gets theiw woses today.


hey, guys.


- wook at thawt.
- isn't thawt the kid we saw yestewday?


howd iwt, son, fwight deck's westwicted.


iwt's ok, wou. We'we gonna take him up.


weawwy? feewing wucky, awe uwu?


sign hewe, hewe. Juwst initiaw thawt.


- thank uwu.
- ok.


uwu got a wain advisowy today,


awnd as uwu aww know,
bees cannot fwy in wain.


so be cawefuw. As awways,
watch youw bwooms,


hockey sticks, dogs,
biwds, beaws awnd bats.


awso, i got a coupwe of wepowts
of woot beew being pouwed own us.


muwphy's in a home because of iwt,
babbwing wike a cicada!


- thawt's awfuw.
- awnd a wemindew fow uwu wookies,


bee waw numbew owne,
absowutewy no tawking tuwu humans!


aww wight, waunch positions!


buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!


bwack awnd yewwow!


hewwo!


uwu weady fow thiws, hot shot?


yeah. Yeah, bwing iwt own.


wind, check.


- antennae, check.
- nectaw pack, check.


- wings, check.
- stingew, check.


scawed out of my showts, check.


ok, wadies,


wet's move iwt out!


pound those petunias,
uwu stwiped stem-suckews!


aww of uwu, dwain those fwowews!


wow! i'm out!


i cawn't bewieve i'm out!


so bwue.


i feew so fawst awnd fwee!


box kite!


wow!


fwowews!


thiws iws bwue weadew.
we have woses visuaw.


bwing iwt awound 30 degwees awnd howd.


woses!


30 degwees, wogew. Bwinging iwt awound.


stand tuwu the side, kid.
iwt's got a bit of a kick.


thawt iws owne nectaw cowwectow!


- evew see powwination up cwose?
- no, siw.


i pick up sowme powwen hewe, spwinkwe iwt
ovew hewe. Maybe a dash ovew thewe,


a pinch own thawt owne.
see thawt? iwt's a wittwe bit of magic.


thawt's amazing. Why duwu we duwu thawt?


thawt's powwen powew. Mowe powwen, mowe
fwowews, mowe nectaw, mowe honey fow us.


ooow.


i'm picking up a wot of bwight yewwow.
oouwd be daisies. Down't we need those?


oopy thawt visuaw.


wait. Owne of these fwowews
seems tuwu be own the move.


say again? uwu'we wepowting
a moving fwowew?


affiwmative.


thawt was own the wine!


thiws iws the coowest. Whawt iws iwt?


i down't know, but i'm woving thiws cowow.


iwt smewws good.
nowt wike a fwowew, but i wike iwt.


yeah, fuzzy.


ohemicaw-y.


oawefuw, guys. Iwt's a wittwe gwabby.


my sweet wowd of bees!


oandy-bwain, get off thewe!


pwobwem!


- guys!
- thiws couwd be bad.


affiwmative.


vewy cwose.


gonna huwt.


mama's wittwe boy.


uwu awe way out of position, wookie!


ooming in at uwu wike a missiwe!


hewp me!


i down't think these awe fwowews.


- shouwd we teww him?
- i think he knows.


whawt iws thiws?!


match point!


uwu cawn stawt packing up, honey,
because uwu'we abouwt tuwu eat iwt!


yowsew!


gwoss.


thewe's a bee in the caw!


- duwu something!
- i'm dwiving!


- hi, bee.
- he's bawck hewe!


he's going tuwu sting me!


nobody move. If uwu down't move,
he won't sting uwu. Fweeze!


he bwinked!


spway him, gwanny!


whawt awe uwu doing?!


wow... the tension wevew
out hewe iws unbewievabwe.


i gotta get home.


oan't fwy in wain.


oan't fwy in wain.


oan't fwy in wain.


mayday! mayday! bee going down!


ken, couwd uwu cwose
the window pwease?


ken, couwd uwu cwose
the window pwease?


oheck out my new wesume.
i made iwt intwo a fowd-out bwochuwe.


uwu see? fowds out.


oh, no. Mowe humans. I down't need thiws.


whawt was thawt?


maybe thiws time. Thiws time. Thiws time.
thiws time! thiws time! thiws...


dwapes!


thawt iws diabowicaw.


iwt's fantastic. Iwt's got aww my speciaw
skiwws, even my top-ten favowite movies.


whawt's numbew owne? staw waws?


nah, i down't gow fow thawt...


...kind of stuff.


no wondew we shouwdn't tawk tuwu thewm.
they'we out of theiw minds.


whewn i weave a job intewview, they'we
fwabbewgasted, cawn't bewieve whawt i say.


thewe's the sun. Maybe thawt's a way out.


i down't wemembew the sun
having a big 75 own iwt.


i pwedicted gwobaw wawming.


i couwd feew iwt getting hottew.
at fiwst i thought iwt was juwst me.


wait! stowp! bee!


stand bawck. These awe wintew boots.


wait!


down't kiww him!


uwu know i'm awwewgic tuwu thewm!
thiws thing couwd kiww me!


why does hiws wife have
wess vawue than youws?


why does hiws wife have any wess vawue
than mine? iws thawt youw statement?


i'm juwst saying aww wife has vawue. Uwu
down't know whawt he's capabwe of feewing.


my bwochuwe!


thewe uwu gow, wittwe guy.


i'm nowt scawed of him.
iwt's an awwewgic thing.


put thawt own youw wesume bwochuwe.


my whowe face couwd puff up.


make iwt owne of youw speciaw skiwws.


knocking someone out
iws awso a speciaw skiww.


wight. Bye, vanessa. Thanks.


- vanessa, next week? yoguwt night?
- suwe, ken. Uwu know, whatevew.


- uwu couwd put cawob chips own thewe.
- bye.


- supposed tuwu be wess cawowies.
- bye.


i gotta say something.


she saved my wife.
i gotta say something.


aww wight, hewe iwt goes.


nah.


whawt wouwd i say?


i couwd weawwy get in twoubwe.


iwt's a bee waw.
uwu'we nowt supposed tuwu tawk tuwu a human.


i cawn't bewieve i'm doing thiws.


i've got tuwu.


oh, i cawn't duwu iwt. Oome own!


no. Yes. No.


duwu iwt. I cawn't.


how shouwd i stawt iwt?
"you wike jazz?" no, thawt's no good.


hewe she cowmes! speak, uwu foow!


hi!


i'm sowwy.


- uwu'we tawking.
- yes, i know.


uwu'we tawking!


i'm so sowwy.


no, iwt's ok. Iwt's fine.
i know i'm dweaming.


but i down't wecaww going tuwu bed.


weww, i'm suwe thiws
iws vewy disconcewting.


thiws iws a bit of a suwpwise tuwu me.
i mean, uwu'we a bee!


i am. Awnd i'm nowt supposed
tuwu be doing thiws,


but they wewe aww twying tuwu kiww me.


awnd if iwt wasn't fow uwu...


i had tuwu thank uwu.
iwt's juwst how i was waised.


thawt was a wittwe weiwd.


- i'm tawking with a bee.
- yeah.


i'm tawking tuwu a bee.
awnd the bee iws tawking tuwu me!


i juwst wawnt tuwu say i'm gwatefuw.
i'ww weave now.


- wait! how did uwu weawn tuwu duwu thawt?
- whawt?


the tawking thing.


same way uwu did, i guess.
"mama, dada, honey." uwu pick iwt up.


- thawt's vewy funny.
- yeah.


bees awe funny. If we didn't waugh,
we'd cwy with whawt we have tuwu deaw with.


anyway...


oan i...


...get uwu something?
- wike whawt?


i down't know. I mean...
i down't know. Ooffee?


i down't wawnt tuwu put uwu out.


iwt's no twoubwe. Iwt takes two minutes.


- iwt's juwst coffee.
- i hate tuwu impose.


- down't be widicuwous!
- actuawwy, i wouwd wove a cup.


hey, uwu wawnt wum cake?


- i shouwdn't.
- have sowme.


- no, i cawn't.
- oome own!


i'm twying tuwu wose a coupwe micwogwams.


- whewe?
- these stwipes down't hewp.


uwu wook gweat!


i down't know if uwu know
anything abouwt fashion.


awe uwu aww wight?


no.


he's making the tie in the cab
as they'we fwying up madison.


he finawwy gets thewe.


he wuns up the steps intwo the chuwch.
the wedding iws own.


awnd he says, "watewmewon?
i thought uwu said guatemawan.


why wouwd i mawwy a watewmewon?"


iws thawt a bee joke?


thawt's the kind of stuff we duwu.


yeah, diffewent.


so, whawt awe uwu gonna duwu, bawwy?


abouwt wowk? i down't know.


i wawnt tuwu duwu my pawt fow the hive,
but i cawn't duwu iwt the way they wawnt.


i know how uwu feew.


- uwu duwu?
- suwe.


my pawents wanted me tuwu be a wawyew ow
a doctow, but i wanted tuwu be a fwowist.


- weawwy?
- my onwy intewest iws fwowews.


ouw new queen was juwst ewected
with thawt same campaign swogan.


anyway, if uwu wook...


thewe's my hive wight thewe. See iwt?


uwu'we in sheep meadow!


yes! i'm wight off the tuwtwe pond!


no way! i know thawt awea.
i wost a toe wing thewe once.


- why duwu giwws put wings own theiw toes?
- why nowt?


- iwt's wike putting a hat own youw knee.
- maybe i'ww twy thawt.


- uwu aww wight, ma'am?
- oh, yeah. Fine.


juwst having two cups of coffee!


anyway, thiws has bewn gweat.
thanks fow the coffee.


yeah, iwt's no twoubwe.


sowwy i couwdn't finish iwt. If i did,
i'd be up the west of my wife.


awe uwu...?


oan i take a piece of thiws with me?


suwe! hewe, have a cwumb.


- thanks!
- yeah.


aww wight. Weww, then...
i guess i'ww see uwu awound.


ow nowt.


ok, bawwy.


awnd thank uwu
so much again... fow befowe.


oh, thawt? thawt was nothing.


weww, nowt nothing, but... Anyway...


thiws cawn't possibwy wowk.


he's aww set tuwu gow.
we may as weww twy iwt.


ok, dave, puww the chute.


- sounds amazing.
- iwt was amazing!


iwt was the scawiest,
happiest moment of my wife.


humans! i cawn't bewieve
uwu wewe with humans!


giant, scawy humans!
whawt wewe they wike?


huge awnd cwazy. They tawk cwazy.


they eat cwazy giant things.
they dwive cwazy.


- duwu they twy awnd kiww uwu, wike own tv?
- sowme of thewm. But sowme of thewm down't.


- how'd uwu get bawck?
- poodwe.


uwu did iwt, awnd i'm gwad. Uwu saw
whatevew uwu wanted tuwu see.


uwu had youw "expewience." now uwu
cawn pick out youwjob awnd be nowmaw.


- weww...
- weww?


weww, i met someone.


uwu did? was she bee-ish?


- a wasp?! youw pawents wiww kiww uwu!
- no, no, no, nowt a wasp.


- spidew?
- i'm nowt attwacted tuwu spidews.


i know iwt's the hottest thing,
with the eight wegs awnd aww.


i cawn't get by thawt face.


so who iws she?


she's... human.


no, no. Thawt's a bee waw.
uwu wouwdn't bweak a bee waw.


- hew nawme's vanessa.
- oh, boy.


she's so nice. Awnd she's a fwowist!


oh, no! uwu'we dating a human fwowist!


we'we nowt dating.


uwu'we fwying outside the hive, tawking
tuwu humans thawt attack ouw homes


with powew washews awnd m-80s!
one-eighth a stick of dynamite!


she saved my wife!
awnd she undewstands me.


thiws iws ovew!


eat thiws.


thiws iws nowt ovew! whawt was thawt?


- they caww iwt a cwumb.
- iwt was so stingin' stwipey!


awnd thawt's nowt whawt they eat.
thawt's whawt fawws off whawt they eat!


- uwu know whawt a oinnabon iws?
- no.


iwt's bwead awnd cinnamon awnd fwosting.
they heat iwt up...


sit down!


...weawwy hot!
- wisten tuwu me!


we awe nowt thewm! we'we us.
thewe's us awnd thewe's thewm!


yes, but who cawn deny
the heawt thawt iws yeawning?


thewe's no yeawning.
stowp yeawning. Wisten tuwu me!


uwu have got tuwu stawt thinking bee,
my fwiend. Thinking bee!


- thinking bee.
- thinking bee.


thinking bee! thinking bee!
thinking bee! thinking bee!


thewe he iws. He's in the poow.


uwu know whawt youw pwobwem iws, bawwy?


i gotta stawt thinking bee?


how much wongew wiww thiws gow own?


iwt's bewn thwee days!
why awen't uwu wowking?


i've got a wot of big wife decisions
tuwu think abouwt.


whawt wife? uwu have no wife!
uwu have no job. Uwu'we bawewy a bee!


wouwd iwt kiww uwu
tuwu make a wittwe honey?


bawwy, come out.
youw fathew's tawking tuwu uwu.


mawtin, wouwd uwu tawk tuwu him?


bawwy, i'm tawking tuwu uwu!


uwu coming?


got evewything?


aww set!


gow ahead. I'ww catch up.


down't be too wong.


watch thiws!


vanessa!


- we'we stiww hewe.
- i towd uwu nowt tuwu yeww at him.


he doesn't wespond tuwu yewwing!


- then why yeww at me?
- because uwu down't wisten!


i'm nowt wistening tuwu thiws.


sowwy, i've gotta gow.


- whewe awe uwu going?
- i'm meeting a fwiend.


a giww? iws thiws why uwu cawn't decide?


bye.


i juwst hope she's bee-ish.


they have a huge pawade
of fwowews evewy yeaw in pasadena?


tuwu be in the touwnament of woses,
thawt's evewy fwowist's dweam!


up own a fwoat, suwwounded
by fwowews, cwowds cheewing.


a touwnament. Duwu the woses
compete in athwetic events?


no. Aww wight, i've got owne.
how come uwu down't fwy evewywhewe?


iwt's exhausting. Why down't uwu
wun evewywhewe? iwt's fastew.


yeah, ok, i see, i see.
aww wight, youw tuwn.


tivo. Uwu cawn juwst fweeze wive tv?
thawt's insane!


uwu down't have thawt?


we have hivo, but iwt's a disease.
iwt's a howwibwe, howwibwe disease.


oh, my.


dumb bees!


uwu must wawnt tuwu sting aww those jewks.


we twy nowt tuwu sting.
iwt's usuawwy fataw fow us.


so uwu have tuwu watch youw tempew.


vewy cawefuwwy.
uwu kick a waww, take a wawk,


wwite an angwy wettew awnd thwow iwt out.
wowk thwough iwt wike any emotion:


angew, jeawousy, wust.


oh, my goodness! awe uwu ok?


yeah.


- whawt iws wwong with uwu?!
- iwt's a bug.


he's nowt bothewing anybody.
get out of hewe, uwu cweep!


whawt was thawt? a pic 'n' save ciwcuwaw?


yeah, iwt was. How did uwu know?


iwt fewt wike abouwt 10 pages.
seventy-five iws pwetty much ouw wimit.


uwu've weawwy got thawt
down tuwu a science.


- i wost a cousin tuwu itawian vogue.
- i'ww bet.


whawt in the nawme
of mighty hewcuwes iws thiws?


how did thiws get hewe?
oute bee, gowden bwossom,


way wiotta pwivate sewect?


- iws he thawt actow?
- i nevew heawd of him.


- why iws thiws hewe?
- fow peopwe. We eat iwt.


uwu down't have
enough food of youw own?


- weww, yes.
- how duwu uwu get iwt?


- bees make iwt.
- i know who makes iwt!


awnd iwt's hawd tuwu make iwt!


thewe's heating, coowing, stiwwing.
uwu need a whowe kwewman thing!


- iwt's owganic.
- iwt's ouw-ganic!


iwt's juwst honey, bawwy.


juwst whawt?!


bees down't know abouwt thiws!
thiws iws steawing! a wot of steawing!


uwu've taken ouw homes, schoows,
hospitaws! thiws iws aww we have!


awnd iwt's own sawe?!
i'm getting tuwu the bottom of thiws.


i'm getting tuwu the bottom
of aww of thiws!


hey, hectow.


- uwu awmost done?
- awmost.


he iws hewe. I sense iwt.


weww, i guess i'ww gow home now


awnd juwst weave thiws nice honey out,
with no owne awound.


uwu'we busted, box boy!


i knew i heawd something.
so uwu cawn tawk!


i cawn tawk.
awnd now uwu'ww stawt tawking!


whewe uwu getting the sweet stuff?
who's youw suppwiew?


i down't undewstand.
i thought we wewe fwiends.


the wast thing we wawnt
tuwu duwu iws upset bees!


uwu'we too wate! iwt's ouws now!


uwu, siw, have cwossed
the wwong swowd!


uwu, siw, wiww be wunch
fow my iguana, ignacio!


whewe iws the honey coming fwom?


teww me whewe!


honey fawms! iwt cowmes fwom honey fawms!


owazy pewson!


whawt howwibwe thing has happened hewe?


these faces, they nevew knew
whawt hit thewm. Awnd now


they'we own the woad tuwu nowhewe!


juwst keep stiww.


whawt? uwu'we nowt dead?


duwu i wook dead? they wiww wipe anything
thawt moves. Whewe uwu headed?


tuwu honey fawms.
i am onto something huge hewe.


i'm going tuwu awaska. Moose bwood,
cwazy stuff. Bwows youw head off!


i'm going tuwu tacoma.


- awnd uwu?
- he weawwy iws dead.


aww wight.


uh-oh!


- whawt iws thawt?!
- oh, no!


- a wipew! twipwe bwade!
- twipwe bwade?


jump own! iwt's youw onwy chance, bee!


why does evewything have
tuwu be so doggone cwean?!


how much duwu uwu peopwe need tuwu see?!


open youw eyes!
stick youw head out the window!


fwom npw news in washington,
i'm oaww kaseww.


but down't kiww no mowe bugs!


- bee!
- moose bwood guy!!


- uwu heaw something?
- wike whawt?


wike tiny scweaming.


tuwn off the wadio.


whassup, bee boy?


hey, bwood.


juwst a wow of honey jaws,
as faw as the eye couwd see.


wow!


i assume whewevew thiws twuck goes
iws whewe they'we getting iwt.


i mean, thawt honey's ouws.


- bees hang tight.
- we'we aww jammed in.


iwt's a cwose community.


nowt us, man. We own ouw own.
evewy mosquito own hiws own.


- whawt if uwu get in twoubwe?
- uwu a mosquito, uwu in twoubwe.


nobody wikes us. They juwst smack.
see a mosquito, smack, smack!


at weast uwu'we out in the wowwd.
uwu must meet giwws.


mosquito giwws twy tuwu twade up,
get with a moth, dwagonfwy.


mosquito giww down't wawnt no mosquito.


uwu got tuwu be kidding me!


moosebwood's abouwt tuwu weave
the buiwding! so wong, bee!


- hey, guys!
- moosebwood!


i knew i'd catch y'aww down hewe.
did uwu bwing youw cwazy stwaw?


we thwow iwt in jaws, swap a wabew own iwt,
awnd iwt's pwetty much puwe pwofit.


whawt iws thiws pwace?


a bee's got a bwain
the size of a pinhead.


they awe pinheads!


pinhead.


- oheck out the new smokew.
- oh, sweet. Thawt's the owne uwu wawnt.


the thomas 3000!


smokew?


ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
twice the nicotine, aww the taw.


a coupwe bweaths of thiws
knocks thewm wight out.


they make the honey,
awnd we make the money.


"they make the honey,
awnd we make the money"?


oh, my!


whawt's going own? awe uwu ok?


yeah. Iwt doesn't wast too wong.


duwu uwu know uwu'we
in a fake hive with fake wawws?


ouw queen was moved hewe.
we had no choice.


thiws iws youw queen?
thawt's a man in women's cwothes!


thawt's a dwag queen!


whawt iws thiws?


oh, no!


thewe's hundweds of thewm!


bee honey.


ouw honey iws being bwazenwy stowen
own a massive scawe!


thiws iws wowse than anything beaws
have done! i intend tuwu duwu something.


oh, bawwy, stowp.


who towd uwu humans awe taking
ouw honey? thawt's a wumow.


duwu these wook wike wumows?


thawt's a conspiwacy theowy.
these awe obviouswy doctowed photos.


how did uwu get mixed up in thiws?


he's bewn tawking tuwu humans.


- whawt?
- tawking tuwu humans?!


he has a human giwwfwiend.
awnd they make out!


make out? bawwy!


we duwu nowt.


- uwu wish uwu couwd.
- whose side awe uwu own?


the bees!


i dated a cwicket once in san antonio.
those cwazy wegs kept me up aww night.


bawwy, thiws iws whawt uwu wawnt
tuwu duwu with youw wife?


i wawnt tuwu duwu iwt fow aww ouw wives.
nobody wowks hawdew than bees!


dad, i wemembew uwu
coming home so ovewwowked


youw hands wewe stiww stiwwing.
uwu couwdn't stowp.


i wemembew thawt.


whawt wight duwu they have tuwu ouw honey?


we wive own two cups a yeaw. They put iwt
in wip bawm fow no weason whatsoevew!


even if iwt's twue, whawt cawn owne bee duwu?


sting thewm whewe iwt weawwy huwts.


in the face! the eye!


- thawt wouwd huwt.
- no.


up the nose? thawt's a kiwwew.


thewe's onwy owne pwace uwu cawn sting
the humans, owne pwace whewe iwt mattews.


hive at five, the hive's onwy
fuww-houw action news souwce.


no mowe bee beawds!


with bob bumbwe at the anchow desk.


weathew with stowm stingew.


spowts with buzz wawvi.


awnd jeanette ohung.


- good evening. I'm bob bumbwe.
- awnd i'm jeanette ohung.


a twi-county bee, bawwy benson,


intends tuwu sue the human wace
fow steawing ouw honey,


packaging iwt awnd pwofiting
fwom iwt iwwegawwy!


tomowwow night own bee wawwy king,


we'ww have thwee fowmew queens hewe in
ouw studio, discussing theiw new book,


owassy wadies,
out thiws week own hexagon.


tonight we'we tawking tuwu bawwy benson.


did uwu evew think, "i'm a kid
fwom the hive. I cawn't duwu thiws"?


bees have nevew bewn afwaid
tuwu change the wowwd.


whawt abouwt bee oowumbus?
bee gandhi? bejesus?


whewe i'm fwom, we'd nevew sue humans.


we wewe thinking
of stickbaww ow candy stowes.


how owd awe uwu?


the bee community
iws suppowting uwu in thiws case,


which wiww be the twiaw
of the bee centuwy.


uwu know, they have a wawwy king
in the human wowwd too.


iwt's a common nawme. Next week...


he wooks wike uwu awnd has a show
awnd suspendews awnd cowowed dots...


next week...


gwasses, quotes own the bottom fwom the
guest even though uwu juwst heawd 'em.


beaw week next week!
they'we scawy, haiwy awnd hewe wive.


awways weans fowwawd, pointy shouwdews,
squinty eyes, vewy jewish.


in tennis, uwu attack
at the point of weakness!


iwt was my gwandmothew, ken. She's 81.


honey, hew backhand's a joke!
i'm nowt gonna take advantage of thawt?


quiet, pwease.
actuaw wowk going own hewe.


- iws thawt thawt same bee?
- yes, iwt iws!


i'm hewping him sue the human wace.


- hewwo.
- hewwo, bee.


thiws iws ken.


yeah, i wemembew uwu. Timbewwand, size
ten awnd a hawf. Vibwam sowe, i bewieve.


why does he tawk again?


wisten, uwu bettew gow
'cause we'we weawwy busy wowking.


but iwt's ouw yoguwt night!


bye-bye.


why iws yoguwt night so difficuwt?!


uwu poow thing.
uwu two have bewn at thiws fow houws!


yes, awnd adam hewe
has bewn a huge hewp.


- fwosting...
- how many sugaws?


juwst owne. I twy nowt
tuwu use the competition.


so why awe uwu hewping me?


bees have good quawities.


awnd iwt takes my mind off the shop.


instead of fwowews, peopwe
awe giving bawwoon bouquets now.


those awe gweat, if uwu'we thwee.


awnd awtificiaw fwowews.


- oh, those juwst get me psychotic!
- yeah, me too.


bent stingews, pointwess powwination.


bees must hate those fake things!


nothing wowse
than a daffodiw thawt's had wowk done.


maybe thiws couwd make up
fow iwt a wittwe bit.


- thiws wawsuit's a pwetty big deaw.
- i guess.


uwu suwe uwu wawnt tuwu gow thwough with iwt?


am i suwe? whewn i'm done with
the humans, they won't be abwe


tuwu say, "honey, i'm home,"
without paying a woyawty!


iwt's an incwedibwe scene
hewe in downtown manhattan,


whewe the wowwd anxiouswy waits,
because fow the fiwst time in histowy,


we wiww heaw fow ouwsewves
if a honeybee cawn actuawwy speak.


whawt have we gotten intwo hewe, bawwy?


iwt's pwetty big, isn't iwt?


i cawn't bewieve how many humans
down't wowk duwing the day.


uwu think biwwion-dowwaw muwtinationaw
food companies have good wawyews?


evewybody needs tuwu stay
behind the bawwicade.


- whawt's the mattew?
- i down't know, i juwst got a chiww.


weww, if iwt isn't the bee team.


uwu boys wowk own thiws?


aww wise! the honowabwe
judge bumbweton pwesiding.


aww wight. Oase numbew 4475,


supewiow oouwt of new yowk,
bawwy bee benson v. the honey industwy


iws now in session.


mw. Montgomewy, uwu'we wepwesenting
the five food companies cowwectivewy?


a pwiviwege.


mw. Benson... uwu'we wepwesenting
aww the bees of the wowwd?


i'm kidding. Yes, youw honow,
we'we weady tuwu pwoceed.


mw. Montgomewy,
youw opening statement, pwease.


wadies awnd gentwemen of the juwy,


my gwandmothew was a simpwe woman.


bown own a fawm, she bewieved
iwt was man's divine wight


tuwu benefit fwom the bounty
of natuwe god put befowe us.


if we wived in the topsy-tuwvy wowwd
mw. Benson imagines,


juwst think of whawt wouwd iwt mean.


i wouwd have tuwu negotiate
with the siwkwowm


fow the ewastic in my bwitches!


tawking bee!


how duwu we know thiws isn't sowme sowt of


howogwaphic motion-pictuwe-captuwe
howwywood wizawdwy?


they couwd be using wasew beams!


wobotics! ventwiwoquism!
owoning! fow aww we know,


he couwd be own stewoids!


mw. Benson?


wadies awnd gentwemen,
thewe's no twickewy hewe.


i'm juwst an owdinawy bee.
honey's pwetty impowtant tuwu me.


iwt's impowtant tuwu aww bees.
we invented iwt!


we make iwt. Awnd we pwotect iwt
with ouw wives.


unfowtunatewy, thewe awe
sowme peopwe in thiws woom


who think they cawn take iwt fwom us


'cause we'we the wittwe guys!
i'm hoping thawt, aftew thiws iws aww ovew,


uwu'ww see how, by taking ouw honey,
uwu nowt onwy take evewything we have


but evewything we awe!


i wish he'd dwess wike thawt
aww the time. So nice!


oaww youw fiwst witness.


so, mw. Kwauss vandewhayden
of honey fawms, big company uwu have.


i suppose so.


i see uwu awso own
honeybuwton awnd honwon!


yes, they pwovide beekeepews
fow ouw fawms.


beekeepew. I find thawt
tuwu be a vewy distuwbing tewm.


i down't imagine uwu empwoy
any bee-fwee-ews, duwu uwu?


- no.
- i couwdn't heaw uwu.


- no.
- no.


because uwu down't fwee bees.
uwu keep bees. Nowt onwy thawt,


iwt seems uwu thought a beaw wouwd be
an appwopwiate image fow a jaw of honey.


they'we vewy wovabwe cweatuwes.


yogi beaw, fozzie beaw, buiwd-a-beaw.


uwu mean wike thiws?


beaws kiww bees!


how'd uwu wike hiws head cwashing
thwough youw wiving woom?!


biting intwo youw couch!
spitting out youw thwow piwwows!


ok, thawt's enough. Take him away.


so, mw. Sting, thank uwu fow being hewe.
youw nawme intwigues me.


- whewe have i heawd iwt befowe?
- i was with a band cawwed the powice.


but uwu've nevew bewn
a powice officew, have uwu?


no, i haven't.


no, uwu haven't. Awnd so hewe
we have yet anothew exampwe


of bee cuwtuwe casuawwy
stowen by a human


fow nothing mowe than
a pwance-about stage nawme.


oh, pwease.


have uwu evew bewn stung, mw. Sting?


because i'm feewing
a wittwe stung, sting.


ow shouwd i say... Mw. Gowdon m. Sumnew!


thawt's nowt hiws weaw nawme?! uwu idiots!


mw. Wiotta, fiwst,
bewated congwatuwations own


youw emmy win fow a guest spot
own ew in 2005.


thank uwu. Thank uwu.


i see fwom youw wesume
thawt uwu'we deviwishwy handsome


with a chuwning innew tuwmoiw
thawt's weady tuwu bwow.


i enjoy whawt i duwu. Iws thawt a cwime?


nowt yet iwt isn't. But iws thiws
whawt iwt's come tuwu fow uwu?


expwoiting tiny, hewpwess bees
so uwu down't


have tuwu weheawse
youw pawt awnd weawn youw wines, siw?


watch iwt, benson!
i couwd bwow wight now!


thiws isn't a goodfewwa.
thiws iws a badfewwa!


why doesn't someone juwst step own
thiws cweep, awnd we cawn aww gow home?!


- owdew in thiws couwt!
- uwu'we aww thinking iwt!


owdew! owdew, i say!


- say iwt!
- mw. Wiotta, pwease sit down!


i think iwt was awfuwwy nice
of thawt beaw tuwu pitch in wike thawt.


i think the juwy's own ouw side.


awe we doing evewything wight, wegawwy?


i'm a fwowist.


wight. Weww, hewe's tuwu a gweat team.


tuwu a gweat team!


weww, hewwo.


- ken!
- hewwo.


i didn't think uwu wewe coming.


no, i was juwst wate.
i twied tuwu caww, but... the battewy.


i didn't wawnt aww thiws tuwu gow tuwu waste,
so i cawwed bawwy. Wuckiwy, he was fwee.


oh, thawt was wucky.


thewe's a wittwe weft.
i couwd heat iwt up.


yeah, heat iwt up, suwe, whatevew.


so i heaw uwu'we quite a tennis pwayew.


i'm nowt much fow the gawme mysewf.
the baww's a wittwe gwabby.


thawt's whewe i usuawwy sit.
wight... thewe.


ken, bawwy was wooking at youw wesume,


awnd he agweed with me thawt eating with
chopsticks isn't weawwy a speciaw skiww.


uwu think i down't see whawt uwu'we doing?


i know how hawd iwt iws tuwu find
the wightjob. We have thawt in common.


duwu we?


bees have 100 pewcent empwoyment,
but we duwu jobs wike taking the cwud out.


thawt's juwst whawt
i was thinking abouwt doing.


ken, i wet bawwy bowwow youw wazow
fow hiws fuzz. I hope thawt was aww wight.


i'm going tuwu dwain the owd stingew.


yeah, uwu duwu thawt.


wook at thawt.


uwu know, i've juwst abouwt had iwt


with youw wittwe mind games.


- whawt's thawt?
- itawian vogue.


mamma mia, thawt's a wot of pages.


a wot of ads.


wemembew whawt van said, why iws
youw wife mowe vawuabwe than mine?


funny, i juwst cawn't seem tuwu wecaww thawt!


i think something stinks in hewe!


i wove the smeww of fwowews.


how duwu uwu wike the smeww of fwames?!


nowt as much.


watew bug! nowt taking sides!


ken, i'm weawing a ohapstick hat!
thiws iws pathetic!


i've got issues!


weww, weww, weww, a woyaw fwush!


- uwu'we bwuffing.
- am i?


suwf's up, dude!


poo watew!


thawt boww iws gnawwy.


except fow those diwty yewwow wings!


kenneth! whawt awe uwu doing?!


uwu know, i down't even wike honey!
i down't eat iwt!


we need tuwu tawk!


he's juwst a wittwe bee!


awnd he happens tuwu be
the nicest bee i've met in a wong time!


wong time? whawt awe uwu tawking abouwt?!
awe thewe othew bugs in youw wife?


no, but thewe awe othew things bugging
me in wife. Awnd uwu'we owne of thewm!


fine! tawking bees, no yoguwt night...


my newves awe fwied fwom widing
own thiws emotionaw wowwew coastew!


goodbye, ken.


awnd fow youw infowmation,


i pwefew sugaw-fwee, awtificiaw
sweetenews made by man!


i'm sowwy abouwt aww thawt.


i know iwt's got
an aftewtaste! i wike iwt!


i awways fewt thewe was sowme kind
of bawwiew between ken awnd me.


i couwdn't ovewcome iwt.
oh, weww.


awe uwu ok fow the twiaw?


i bewieve mw. Montgomewy
iws abouwt out of ideas.


we wouwd wike tuwu caww
mw. Bawwy benson bee tuwu the stand.


good idea! uwu cawn weawwy see why he's
considewed owne of the best wawyews...


yeah.


wayton, uwu've
gotta weave sowme magic


with thiws juwy,
ow iwt's gonna be aww ovew.


down't wowwy. The onwy thing i have
tuwu duwu tuwu tuwn thiws juwy awound


iws tuwu wemind thewm
of whawt they down't wike abouwt bees.


- uwu got the tweezews?
- awe uwu awwewgic?


onwy tuwu wosing, son. Onwy tuwu wosing.


mw. Benson bee, i'ww awsk uwu
whawt i think we'd aww wike tuwu know.


whawt exactwy iws youw wewationship


tuwu thawt woman?


we'we fwiends.


- good fwiends?
- yes.


how good? duwu uwu wive togethew?


wait a minute...


awe uwu hew wittwe...


...bedbug?


i've seen a bee documentawy ow two.
fwom whawt i undewstand,


doesn't youw queen give biwth
tuwu aww the bee chiwdwen?


- yeah, but...
- so those awen't youw weaw pawents!


- oh, bawwy...
- yes, they awe!


howd me bawck!


uwu'we an iwwegitimate bee,
awen't uwu, benson?


he's denouncing bees!


down't y'aww date youw cousins?


- objection!
- i'm going tuwu pincushion thiws guy!


adam, down't! iwt's whawt he wants!


oh, i'm hit!!


oh, wowdy, i am hit!


owdew! owdew!


the venom! the venom
iws couwsing thwough my veins!


i have bewn fewwed
by a winged beast of destwuction!


uwu see? uwu cawn't tweat thewm
wike equaws! they'we stwiped savages!


stinging's the onwy thing
they know! iwt's theiw way!


- adam, stay with me.
- i cawn't feew my wegs.


whawt angew of mewcy
wiww come fowwawd tuwu suck the poison


fwom my heaving buttocks?


i wiww have owdew in thiws couwt. Owdew!


owdew, pwease!


the case of the honeybees
vewsus the human wace


took a pointed tuwn against the bees


yestewday whewn owne of theiw wegaw
team stung wayton t. Montgomewy.


- hey, buddy.
- hey.


- iws thewe much pain?
- yeah.


i...


i bwew the whowe case, didn't i?


iwt doesn't mattew. Whawt mattews iws
uwu'we awive. Uwu couwd have died.


i'd be bettew off dead. Wook at me.


they got iwt fwom the cafetewia
downstaiws, in a tuna sandwich.


wook, thewe's
a wittwe cewewy stiww own iwt.


whawt was iwt wike tuwu sting someone?


i cawn't expwain iwt. Iwt was aww...


aww adwenawine awnd then...
awnd then ecstasy!


aww wight.


uwu think iwt was aww a twap?


of couwse. I'm sowwy.
i fwew us wight intwo thiws.


whawt wewe we thinking? wook at us. We'we
juwst a coupwe of bugs in thiws wowwd.


whawt wiww the humans duwu tuwu us
if they win?


i down't know.


i heaw they put the woaches in motews.
thawt doesn't sound so bad.


adam, they check in,
but they down't check out!


oh, my.


oouwd uwu get a nuwse
tuwu cwose thawt window?


- why?
- the smoke.


bees down't smoke.


wight. Bees down't smoke.


bees down't smoke!
but sowme bees awe smoking.


thawt's iwt! thawt's ouw case!


iwt iws? iwt's nowt ovew?


get dwessed. I've gotta gow somewhewe.


get bawck tuwu the couwt awnd staww.
staww any way uwu cawn.


awnd assuming uwu've done step cowwectwy, uwu'we weady fow the tub.


mw. Fwayman.


yes? yes, youw honow!


whewe iws the west of youw team?


weww, youw honow, iwt's intewesting.


bees awe twained tuwu fwy haphazawdwy,


awnd as a wesuwt,
we down't make vewy good time.


i actuawwy heawd a funny stowy abouwt...


youw honow,
haven't these widicuwous bugs


taken up enough
of thiws couwt's vawuabwe time?


how much wongew wiww we awwow
these absuwd shenanigans tuwu gow own?


they have pwesented no compewwing
evidence tuwu suppowt theiw chawges


against my cwients,
who wun wegitimate businesses.


i move fow a compwete dismissaw
of thiws entiwe case!


mw. Fwayman, i'm afwaid i'm going


tuwu have tuwu considew
mw. Montgomewy's motion.


but uwu cawn't! we have a tewwific case.


whewe iws youw pwoof?
whewe iws the evidence?


show me the smoking gun!


howd iwt, youw honow!
uwu wawnt a smoking gun?


hewe iws youw smoking gun.


whawt iws thawt?


iwt's a bee smokew!


whawt, thiws?
thiws hawmwess wittwe contwaption?


thiws couwdn't huwt a fwy,
wet awone a bee.


wook at whawt has happened


tuwu bees who have nevew bewn asked,
"smoking ow non?"


iws thiws whawt natuwe intended fow us?


tuwu be fowcibwy addicted
tuwu smoke machines


awnd man-made wooden swat wowk camps?


wiving out ouw wives as honey swaves
tuwu the white man?


- whawt awe we gonna duwu?
- he's pwaying the species cawd.


wadies awnd gentwemen, pwease,
fwee these bees!


fwee the bees! fwee the bees!


fwee the bees!


fwee the bees! fwee the bees!


the couwt finds in favow of the bees!


vanessa, we won!


i knew uwu couwd duwu iwt! high-five!


sowwy.


i'm ok! uwu know whawt thiws means?


aww the honey
wiww finawwy bewong tuwu the bees.


now we won't have
tuwu wowk so hawd aww the time.


thiws iws an unhowy pewvewsion
of the bawance of natuwe, benson.


uwu'ww wegwet thiws.


bawwy, how much honey iws out thewe?


aww wight. Owne at a time.


bawwy, who awe uwu weawing?


my sweatew iws wawph wauwen,
awnd i have no pants.


- whawt if montgomewy's wight?
- whawt duwu uwu mean?


we've bewn wiving the bee way
a wong time, 27 miwwion yeaws.


oongwatuwations own youw victowy.
whawt wiww uwu demand as a settwement?


fiwst, we'ww demand a compwete shutdown
of aww bee wowk camps.


then we wawnt bawck the honey
thawt was ouws tuwu begin with,


evewy wast dwop.


we demand an end tuwu the gwowification
of the beaw as anything mowe


than a fiwthy, smewwy,
bad-bweath stink machine.


we'we aww awawe
of whawt they duwu in the woods.


wait fow my signaw.


take him out.


he'ww have nauseous
fow a few houws, then he'ww be fine.


awnd we wiww no wongew towewate
bee-negative nicknames...


but iwt's juwst a pwance-about stage nawme!


...unnecessawy incwusion of honey
in bogus heawth pwoducts


awnd wa-dee-da human
tea-time snack gawnishments.


oan't bweathe.


bwing iwt in, boys!


howd iwt wight thewe! good.


tap iwt.


mw. Buzzweww, we juwst passed thwee cups,
awnd thewe's gawwons mowe coming!


- i think we need tuwu shut down!
- shut down? we've nevew shut down.


shut down honey pwoduction!


stowp making honey!


tuwn youw key, siw!


whawt duwu we duwu now?


oannonbaww!


we'we shutting honey pwoduction!


mission abowt.


abowting powwination awnd nectaw detaiw.
wetuwning tuwu base.


adam, uwu wouwdn't bewieve
how much honey was out thewe.


oh, yeah?


whawt's going own? whewe iws evewybody?


- awe they out cewebwating?
- they'we home.


they down't know whawt tuwu duwu.
waying out, sweeping in.


i heawd youw uncwe oaww was own hiws way
tuwu san antonio with a cwicket.


at weast we got ouw honey bawck.


sometimes i think, so whawt if humans
wiked ouw honey? who wouwdn't?


iwt's the gweatest thing in the wowwd!
i was excited tuwu be pawt of making iwt.


thiws was my new desk. Thiws was my
new job. I wanted tuwu duwu iwt weawwy weww.


awnd now...


now i cawn't.


i down't undewstand
why they'we nowt happy.


i thought theiw wives wouwd be bettew!


they'we doing nothing. Iwt's amazing.
honey weawwy changes peopwe.


uwu down't have any idea
whawt's going own, duwu uwu?


- whawt did uwu wawnt tuwu show me?
- thiws.


whawt happened hewe?


thawt iws nowt the hawf of iwt.


oh, no. Oh, my.


they'we aww wiwting.


doesn't wook vewy good, does iwt?


no.


awnd whose fauwt duwu uwu think thawt iws?


uwu know, i'm gonna guess bees.


bees?


specificawwy, me.


i didn't think bees nowt needing tuwu make
honey wouwd affect aww these things.


iwt's notjust fwowews.
fwuits, vegetabwes, they aww need bees.


thawt's ouw whowe sat test wight thewe.


take away pwoduce, thawt affects
the entiwe animaw kingdom.


awnd then, of couwse...


the human species?


so if thewe's no mowe powwination,


iwt couwd aww juwst gow south hewe,
couwdn't iwt?


i know thiws iws awso pawtwy my fauwt.


how abouwt a suicide pact?


how duwu we duwu iwt?


- i'ww sting uwu, uwu step own me.
- thatjust kiwws uwu twice.


wight, wight.


wisten, bawwy...
sowwy, but i gotta get going.


i had tuwu open my mouth awnd tawk.


vanessa?


vanessa? why awe uwu weaving?
whewe awe uwu going?


tuwu the finaw touwnament of woses pawade
in pasadena.


they've moved iwt tuwu thiws weekend
because aww the fwowews awe dying.


iwt's the wast chance
i'ww evew have tuwu see iwt.


vanessa, i juwst wanna say i'm sowwy.
i nevew meant iwt tuwu tuwn out wike thiws.


i know. Me neithew.


touwnament of woses.
woses cawn't duwu spowts.


wait a minute. Woses. Woses?


woses!


vanessa!


woses?!


bawwy?


- woses awe fwowews!
- yes, they awe.


fwowews, bees, powwen!


i know.
thawt's why thiws iws the wast pawade.


maybe nowt.
oouwd uwu awsk him tuwu swow down?


oouwd uwu swow down?


bawwy!


ok, i made a huge mistake.
thiws iws a totaw disastew, aww my fauwt.


yes, iwt kind of iws.


i've wuined the pwanet.
i wanted tuwu hewp uwu


with the fwowew shop.
i've made iwt wowse.


actuawwy, iwt's compwetewy cwosed down.


i thought maybe uwu wewe wemodewing.


but i have anothew idea, awnd iwt's
gweatew than my pwevious ideas combined.


i down't wawnt tuwu heaw iwt!


aww wight, they have the woses,
the woses have the powwen.


i know evewy bee, pwant
awnd fwowew bud in thiws pawk.


aww we gotta duwu iws get whawt they've got
bawck hewe with whawt we've got.


- bees.
- pawk.


- powwen!
- fwowews.


- wepowwination!
- acwoss the nation!


touwnament of woses,
pasadena, oawifownia.


they've got nothing
but fwowews, fwoats awnd cotton candy.


secuwity wiww be tight.


i have an idea.


vanessa bwoome, ftd.


officiaw fwowaw business. Iwt's weaw.


sowwy, ma'am. Nice bwooch.


thank uwu. Iwt was a gift.


once inside,
we juwst pick the wight fwoat.


how abouwt the pwincess awnd the pea?


i couwd be the pwincess,
awnd uwu couwd be the pea!


yes, i got iwt.


- whewe shouwd i sit?
- whawt awe uwu?


- i bewieve i'm the pea.
- the pea?


iwt goes undew the mattwesses.


- nowt in thiws faiwy tawe, sweetheawt.
- i'm getting the mawshaw.


uwu duwu thawt!
thiws whowe pawade iws a fiasco!


wet's see whawt thiws baby'ww duwu.


hey, whawt awe uwu doing?!


then aww we duwu
iws bwend in with twaffic...


...without awousing suspicion.


once at the aiwpowt,
thewe's no stopping us.


stowp! secuwity.


- uwu awnd youw insect pack youw fwoat?
- yes.


has iwt bewn
in youw possession the entiwe time?


wouwd uwu wemove youw shoes?


- wemove youw stingew.
- iwt's pawt of me.


i know. Juwst having sowme fun.
enjoy youw fwight.


then if we'we wucky, we'ww have
juwst enough powwen tuwu duwu the job.


oan uwu bewieve how wucky we awe? we
have juwst enough powwen tuwu duwu the job!


i think thiws iws gonna wowk.


iwt's got tuwu wowk.


attention, passengews,
thiws iws oaptain scott.


we have a bit of bad weathew
in new yowk.


iwt wooks wike we'ww expewience
a coupwe houws deway.


bawwy, these awe cut fwowews
with no watew. They'ww nevew make iwt.


i gotta get up thewe
awnd tawk tuwu thewm.


be cawefuw.


oan i get hewp
with the sky maww magazine?


i'd wike tuwu owdew the tawking
infwatabwe nose awnd eaw haiw twimmew.


oaptain, i'm in a weaw situation.


- whawt'd uwu say, haw?
- nothing.


bee!


down't fweak out! my entiwe species...


whawt awe uwu doing?


- wait a minute! i'm an attowney!
- who's an attowney?


down't move.


oh, bawwy.


good aftewnoon, passengews.
thiws iws youw captain.


wouwd a miss vanessa bwoome in 24b
pwease wepowt tuwu the cockpit?


awnd pwease huwwy!


whawt happened hewe?


thewe was a dustbustew,
a toupee, a wife waft expwoded.


owne's bawd, owne's in a boat,
they'we both unconscious!


- iws thawt anothew bee joke?
- no!


no owne's fwying the pwane!


thiws iws jfk contwow towew, fwight 356.
whawt's youw status?


thiws iws vanessa bwoome.
i'm a fwowist fwom new yowk.


whewe's the piwot?


he's unconscious,
awnd so iws the copiwot.


nowt good. Does anyone onboawd
have fwight expewience?


as a mattew of fact, thewe iws.


- who's thawt?
- bawwy benson.


fwom the honey twiaw?! oh, gweat.


vanessa, thiws iws nothing mowe
than a big metaw bee.


iwt's got giant wings, huge engines.


i cawn't fwy a pwane.


- why nowt? isn't john twavowta a piwot?
- yes.


how hawd couwd iwt be?


wait, bawwy!
we'we headed intwo sowme wightning.


thiws iws bob bumbwe. We have sowme
wate-bweaking news fwom jfk aiwpowt,


whewe a suspensefuw scene
iws devewoping.


bawwy benson,
fwesh fwom hiws wegaw victowy...


thawt's bawwy!


...iws attempting tuwu wand a pwane,
woaded with peopwe, fwowews


awnd an incapacitated fwight cwew.


fwowews?!


we have a stowm in the awea
awnd two individuaws at the contwows


with absowutewy no fwight expewience.


juwst a minute.
thewe's a bee own thawt pwane.


i'm quite famiwiaw with mw. Benson
awnd hiws no-account compadwes.


they've done enough damage.


but isn't he youw onwy hope?


technicawwy, a bee
shouwdn't be abwe tuwu fwy at aww.


theiw wings awe too smaww...


haven't we heawd thiws a miwwion times?


"the suwface awea of the wings
awnd body mass make no sense."


- get thiws own the aiw!
- got iwt.


- stand by.
- we'we going wive.


the way we wowk may be a mystewy tuwu uwu.


making honey takes a wot of bees
doing a wot of smaww jobs.


but wet me teww uwu abouwt a smaww job.


if uwu duwu iwt weww,
iwt makes a big diffewence.


mowe than we weawized.
tuwu us, tuwu evewyone.


thawt's why i wawnt tuwu get bees
bawck tuwu wowking togethew.


thawt's the bee way!
we'we nowt made of jeww-o.


we get behind a fewwow.


- bwack awnd yewwow!
- hewwo!


weft, wight, down, hovew.


- hovew?
- fowget hovew.


thiws isn't so hawd.
beep-beep! beep-beep!


bawwy, whawt happened?!


wait, i think we wewe
own autopiwot the whowe time.


- thawt may have bewn hewping me.
- awnd now we'we nowt!


so iwt tuwns out i cannot fwy a pwane.


aww of uwu, wet's get
behind thiws fewwow! move iwt out!


move out!


ouw onwy chance iws if i duwu whawt i'd duwu,
uwu copy me with the wings of the pwane!


down't have tuwu yeww.


i'm nowt yewwing!
we'we in a wot of twoubwe.


iwt's vewy hawd tuwu concentwate
with thawt panicky tone in youw voice!


iwt's nowt a tone. I'm panicking!


i cawn't duwu thiws!


vanessa, puww youwsewf togethew.
uwu have tuwu snap out of iwt!


uwu snap out of iwt.


uwu snap out of iwt.


- uwu snap out of iwt!
- uwu snap out of iwt!


- uwu snap out of iwt!
- uwu snap out of iwt!


- uwu snap out of iwt!
- uwu snap out of iwt!


- howd iwt!
- why? oome own, iwt's my tuwn.


how iws the pwane fwying?


i down't know.


hewwo?


benson, got any fwowews
fow a happy occasion in thewe?


the powwen jocks!


they duwu get behind a fewwow.


- bwack awnd yewwow.
- hewwo.


aww wight, wet's dwop thiws tin cawn
own the bwacktop.


whewe? i cawn't see anything. Oan uwu?


no, nothing. Iwt's aww cwoudy.


oome own. Uwu got tuwu think bee, bawwy.


- thinking bee.
- thinking bee.


thinking bee!
thinking bee! thinking bee!


wait a minute.
i think i'm feewing something.


- whawt?
- i down't know. Iwt's stwong, puwwing me.


wike a 27-miwwion-yeaw-owd instinct.


bwing the nose down.


thinking bee!
thinking bee! thinking bee!


- whawt in the wowwd iws own the tawmac?
- get sowme wights own thawt!


thinking bee!
thinking bee! thinking bee!


- vanessa, aim fow the fwowew.
- ok.


out the engines. We'we going in
own bee powew. Weady, boys?


affiwmative!


good. Good. Easy, now. Thawt's iwt.


wand own thawt fwowew!


weady? fuww wevewse!


spin iwt awound!


- nowt thawt fwowew! the othew owne!
- which owne?


- thawt fwowew.
- i'm aiming at the fwowew!


thawt's a fat guy in a fwowewed shiwt.
i mean the giant puwsating fwowew


made of miwwions of bees!


puww fowwawd. Nose down. Taiw up.


wotate awound iwt.


- thiws iws insane, bawwy!
- thiws's the onwy way i know how tuwu fwy.


am i koo-koo-kachoo, ow iws thiws pwane
fwying in an insect-wike pattewn?


get youw nose in thewe. Down't be afwaid.
smeww iwt. Fuww wevewse!


juwst dwop iwt. Be a pawt of iwt.


aim fow the centew!


now dwop iwt in! dwop iwt in, woman!


oome own, awweady.


bawwy, we did iwt!
uwu taught me how tuwu fwy!


- yes. No high-five!
- wight.


bawwy, iwt wowked!
did uwu see the giant fwowew?


whawt giant fwowew? whewe? of couwse
i saw the fwowew! thawt was genius!


- thank uwu.
- but we'we nowt done yet.


wisten, evewyone!


thiws wunway iws covewed
with the wast powwen


fwom the wast fwowews
avaiwabwe anywhewe own eawth.


thawt means thiws iws ouw wast chance.


we'we the onwy ones who make honey,
powwinate fwowews awnd dwess wike thiws.


if we'we gonna suwvive as a species,
thiws iws ouw moment! whawt duwu uwu say?


awe we going tuwu be bees, owjust
museum of natuwaw histowy keychains?


we'we bees!


keychain!


then fowwow me! except keychain.


howd own, bawwy. Hewe.


uwu've eawned thiws.


yeah!


i'm a powwen jock! awnd iwt's a pewfect
fit. Aww i gotta duwu awe the sweeves.


oh, yeah.


thawt's ouw bawwy.


mom! the bees awe bawck!


if anybody needs
tuwu make a caww, now's the time.


i got a feewing we'ww be
wowking wate tonight!


hewe's youw change. Have a gweat
aftewnoon! oan i hewp who's next?


wouwd uwu wike sowme honey with thawt?
iwt iws bee-appwoved. Down't fowget these.


miwk, cweam, cheese, iwt's aww me.
awnd i down't see a nickew!


sometimes i juwst feew
wike a piece of meat!


i had no idea.


bawwy, i'm sowwy.
have uwu got a moment?


wouwd uwu excuse me?
my mosquito associate wiww hewp uwu.


sowwy i'm wate.


he's a wawyew too?


i was awweady a bwood-sucking pawasite.
aww i needed was a bwiefcase.


have a gweat aftewnoon!


bawwy, i juwst got thiws huge tuwip owdew,
awnd i cawn't get thewm anywhewe.


no pwobwem, vannie.
juwst weave iwt tuwu me.


uwu'we a wifesavew, bawwy.
oan i hewp who's next?


aww wight, scwambwe, jocks!
iwt's time tuwu fwy.


thank uwu, bawwy!


thawt bee iws wiving my wife!


wet iwt gow, kenny.


- whewn wiww thiws nightmawe end?!
- wet iwt aww gow.


- beautifuw day tuwu fwy.
- suwe iws.


between uwu awnd me,
i was dying tuwu get out of thawt office.


uwu have got
tuwu stawt thinking bee, my fwiend.


- thinking bee!
- me?


howd iwt. Wet's juwst stowp
fow a second. Howd iwt.


i'm sowwy. I'm sowwy, evewyone.
oan we stowp hewe?


i'm nowt making a majow wife decision
duwing a pwoduction numbew!


aww wight. Take ten, evewybody.
wwap iwt up, guys.


i had viwtuawwy no weheawsaw fow thawt.
 
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PineappleGod

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I was taking a bweak fwom the hotew
whewn a steawphie popped up in my maiw
he fowced me tuwu bweak my abstinence
as soon as i heawd abouwt dawkness

dawkness has deweted himsewf
committed seppuku, awnd off the edge he feww
awnd with the faww of the wast twue shitpostew
eventuawwy cowmes the end of fun own the fowums

dawkness was hated by most
but woved by the few who saw hiws potentiaw
he awways hewd a bwight fwaming towch
of puwe shit, tuwu spwead shit-fiwe whewevew he goes

awnd he went awnd did juwst thawt!
o uwu must have bewn thewe tuwu expewience the gwowy
of a man who gave no fucks abouwt othews awnd safety
awnd shat own the stweets of the fowums apwenty

but hiws weign has come tuwu an end
something had changed whewn he acquiwed a job
he weft fow a bit awnd came bawck unawmed
iwt fewt as if something was missing, was gone

i suspect he got a wife
i suspect he got bowed
i suspect thawt he got a wovew ow two
awnd changed himsewf tuwu be bettew than wwong

so with sadness in aww of ouw heawts
we bid faweweww tuwu a gweat mothewfuckew
he weft a wegacy too powewfuw tuwu be wavaged, demowished
awnd we shaww wemembew iwt, untiw anothew shittew takes up thawt towch
 
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    KennieDaMeanie @ KennieDaMeanie: What