The Rules of the Internet

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by .::5pYd3r::., May 6, 2008.

  1. .::5pYd3r::.

    .::5pYd3r::. Viva La Pizza

    Jun 2, 2007
    The GREAT Southern Land :D
    There is no real set of rules to the internet, only a standard 3 that everyone agrees on (1, 2, 34), and some bullshit rules that came out of nowhere. There have been countless renderings of the rules, all of which have sucked balls in one way or another, earliest of which coming from IRC faggotry. Nonetheless, since all 13-year-old boys subconsciously crave supervision because their parents are physically and emotionally unavailable, (much like converts to Islam crave direction in a world gone mad after leaving the family hugbox), The Rules Of The Internet have become a virtual Internets Ten Commandments for them.

    Of course, as with all religions, when divine laws are left open to interpretation by mere mortals, there will always be fucktarded zealots who insist on enforcing said laws with an iron fist.

    Note: Rules 1 & 2 only apply to raids

    1. Do not talk about /b/
    2. Do NOT talk about /b/
    3. Anonymous is legion.
    4. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget. Corollary - Anonymous knows what you did last summer
    5. Anonymous can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster.
    6. Anonymous is still able to deliver.
    7. There are no real rules about posting.
    8. There are no real rules about moderation either—enjoy your ban.
    9. If you enjoy any rival sites—DON'T.
    10. Pics or it didn't happen.
    11. Lurk moar—it's never enough.
    12. Nothing is sacred.
    13. Do not argue with a troll—it means that they win.
    14. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.
    15. There are NO girls on the internet.
    16. A cat is fine too.
    17. One cat leads to another.
    18. The more you hate it, the stronger it gets.
    19. It is delicious cake. You must eat it.
    20. It is a delicious trap. You must hit it.
    21. /b/ sucks today.
    22. Cock goes in here.
    23. You will never have sex.
    24. ????
    25. PROFIT!
    26. Tits are always relevant.
    27. It needs moar Desu. No exceptions.
    28. There will always be more fucked up shit than what you just saw.
    29. You cannot divide by zero (just because the calculator says so).
    30. No real limits of any kind apply here—not even the sky.
    33. Desu isn't funny. Seriously guys. It's worse than Chuck Norris jokes.
    34. There is porn of it. No exceptions.
    35. If no porn of it can be found, it will be created.
    36. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.
    37. Even one positive comment about Japanese things can make you a weeaboo.
    38. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car.
    39. There is furry porn of it. No exceptions.
    40. The pool is always closed.
    41. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.
    42. Everything has been cracked and pirated.
    44. The internet is not your personal army.
    45. Rule 45 is a lie.
    46. The cake is a lie.
    47. If you post it, they will cum.
    48. It needs moar cowbell. I have a fever.
    49. No Wishing!
    50. Rules 1 to 50 are absolute!

    And always remember:-
    If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. No Joke
  2. Destructobot

    Destructobot Crave the Hammer

    Oct 15, 2006
    United States
    Portland, OR
    I wish 1 and 2 applied to the whole damn interweb. I really don't want to hear about it.
  3. .::5pYd3r::.

    .::5pYd3r::. Viva La Pizza

    Jun 2, 2007
    The GREAT Southern Land :D
    Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever go against the rules of the internet or banhammer will squash you until you look like human roll-up.
  4. moozxy

    moozxy hamboning

    Jul 22, 2007
  5. Destructobot

    Destructobot Crave the Hammer

    Oct 15, 2006
    United States
    Portland, OR
    I demand that 1 and 2 be applied to the whole damn interweb. I really don't want to hear about it.
  6. .::5pYd3r::.

    .::5pYd3r::. Viva La Pizza

    Jun 2, 2007
    The GREAT Southern Land :D
  7. Jax

    Jax Pip Pip Cheerioink!

    Jul 31, 2006
    63. There's always a female version of a male character and vice-versa.
  8. Linkiboy

    Linkiboy GBAtemp Testing Area

    May 14, 2006
    United States
    Rule 9001: I will rape you if you post anything 4chan related.
  9. Twiffles

    Twiffles танковые победы

    Sep 6, 2007
    Gambia, The
    Wow, I was just thinking of posting this. But temp isn't 4chan, so unsuccessful troll is unsuccessful.
  10. Mewgia

    Mewgia drifter

    Dec 16, 2006
    United States
    Boston, MA
    Congrats on copying directly from the ED page, faggot.
  11. DaRk_ViVi

    DaRk_ViVi Sending you back... to the future!

    Apr 13, 2004
    Asti, Italy
    Talking about /b/ (oh shit i already broke rule #1 and #2) i saw there some nice comics done probably in paint or photoshop (simple design with just head and sticks) that were really good (obviously they were made of lol). Anyone know their name or can post some?
  12. King Zargo

    King Zargo I'm a Star

    Aug 29, 2007
    Rule 23 contradicts rule 43!
  13. fischju

    fischju Rehabilitated Jaywalker

    Jan 11, 2008
    United States
    Anon =/= Internet, they just think they do. Anon is in reality a cult that attacks other larger cults.
  14. ScuberSteve

    ScuberSteve Newbie

    1. Heard of /b/?
    2. What's /b/?
    3. Anonymous is 1 person.
    4. Anonymous said it's okay that I knocked over its milk the other day.
    5. Anonymous just gave me a cookie! It can't be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster!
    6. Anonymous couldn't give me what I wanted.
    7. Check the forum rules.
    8. Contact an admin.
    9. not4chan is awesome when Anon on 4chan fails to deliver.
    10. We believe you.
    11. Stop lurking.
    12. Don't cross the line!
    13. They're being stupid; correct them.
    14. To corrupt something is just mean.
    15. There are many girls on the internet.
    16. Sexual intercourse involving a male and a cat is never alright.
    17. One cat is a cat alone; never a chain of cats.
    18. The more you hate it, the less it fights back.
    19. This cake is terrible!
    20. If you can see that she has a penis, just stop.
    21. /b/ is kinda funny.
    22. Don't put things where they don't belong. Especially here.
    23. Virginity is always lost.
    24. I know what happened.
    25. LOSS!
    26. Breasts are only relevant in a conversation about breasts.
    27. Stop saying desu. That's enough.
    28. Well, it least it can't get any worse...
    29. x/0 = infinity OR -infinity
    30. There are always limits.
    31. Do not type in allcaps.
    32. Even if you don't type in allcaps, you still need to type well.
    33. Desu is a funny word. But not as funny as Chuck Norris jokes!
    34. Clean images will always remain clean.
    35. ALWAYS.
    36. There must be something in the world that isn't someone's fetish.
    37. Weeaboos are a myth; GO JAPAN!
    38. If you see a lion, do not run away.
    39. Not everything has an anthropomorphic counter part.
    40. The pool is open today.
    41. If there isn't enough, search elsewhere
    42. Effective anti-piracy measures exist.
    43. Please read it more carefully, as I meant what I wrote!
    44. The internet is your personal army.
    45. this is an absolute truth.
    46. The cake is great!
    47. If you post it, they'll avoid it.
    48. It's had enough cowbell for today.
    49. I wish everyone would make a wish.
    50. Rules 1 to 50 aren't to be taken too seriously.
  15. Narin

    Narin The Cheat Master, kupo!

    Former Staff
    Feb 19, 2008
    United States
    Welcome to the interwebs where everything contradicts itself.
  16. science

    science science rules

    Jun 9, 2006