The Pun Thread

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by NoNAND, Jun 14, 2019.

  1. NoNAND
    OP

    NoNAND GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

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    Aug 22, 2015
    Albania
    The other plane of existence
    The Pun Thread
    Puns right! Whilst to some puns are just a waste of time and downright niche and boring, some few find them quite funny and a good way to kill some time when you've got nothing beter at hand to do.
    I felt like making a thread like this,since there's none of this kind in the EoF.
    This threads aims to encourage fellow Tempers to engage in this topic by posting funny and amusing puns!. Drop your puns and word play below.
    For starters, here are some puns:

    What happens when you throw in some cash at Eevee? You get Patreon.

    What did the HDD say to the SD card? "Oh you're so damn FAT!"

    How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!

    Why didn't the cat go to the vet? Because it was feline fine!

    What did the mayonnaise say when someone opened the fridge? "Hey,close the door,can't you see that I'm dressing!"

    What do you call an overweight fortune teller? A four-chin teller!

    How did Sodium Hypobromite respond back to the invitation message? "NaBrO, I won't be over for dinner tonight, thanks though"

    My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."



    NOTE:
    Most liked puns will be featured on and thus be added by me here on the OP, so keep that in mind!

    Side note to Pun posting guidelines

    While this is the EoF GBAtemp rules still apply here.
    Don't post anything that violates said rules,infringes on others rights and that might be deemed offensive to others. Keep this thread to puns only and don't start wars and petty quarrels amongst others.
    With that said, mild to moderate dark humour is accepted but don't go blatantly breaking the rules and insulting others.
    Also, copying ones pun won't do, so please refrain from doing such thing. Your post will get ignored anyway, should you do so.
     
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  2. DinohScene

    DinohScene Feed Dino to the Sharks

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    Antarctica
    Восторг
    Heh, I got to remember that one.
     
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  3. slaphappygamer

    slaphappygamer GBAPerm

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    Nov 30, 2008
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    Aptos, California
    All very punny.

    “I’m excited to see watts next!” - Lightbulb
     
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  4. AmandaRose

    AmandaRose Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it’s a plan

    Member
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    Aug 19, 2015
    United Kingdom
    Glasgow
    When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject. These days if you mention botox no one raises an eyebrow.


    Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.


    I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.



    Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make up everything!



    Jokes about unemployed people are not funny. They just don't work.
     
    Last edited by AmandaRose, Jun 15, 2019
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  5. VinsCool

    VinsCool Cattus Incerta Tacitusque

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    Jan 7, 2014
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    Another World
    I had a dream i was a muffler, i woke up exhausted.
     
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  6. Veho

    Veho The man who cried "Ni".

    Former Staff
    18
    Apr 4, 2006
    Croatia
    Zagreb
    Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."


    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.



    A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."



    Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.



    A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."



    These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.




    And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.



    As one frog said to the other, "how time is fun when you are having flies".



    There were two men painting a church and they were getting to the end of the job and they were starting to run out of paint so since they were using latex paint (water soluble) they decided to water it down to make it last so they added some water and finished the job. didn't look real good so the decided to thin it out a bit more and go over it again where upon they heard a voice from on high that said "repaint and thin no more".



    What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?
    A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!




    There was a fierce warring tribe in Africa which would take the throne of the defeated chief and carry it home, chanting victory chants and singing the whole way. At home, they would put the throne in the attic of the communal grass hut. This went on for quite some time, and soon the throne collection grew, adding to the prestige of the tribe.
    One day they defeated a tribe of fairly large people, some might call them giants, and they struggled to get the throne home. When they got home, they held the ritual of putting the throne in the attic of the grass hut, but the weight was just too much. The ceiling collapsed, killing everyone in the tribe. Which is why we say, "People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones."
     
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  7. Idontknowwhattoputhere

    Idontknowwhattoputhere bruh

    Member
    6
    Jan 19, 2019
    United Kingdom
    Cee moo
     
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