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Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by BoneMonkey, Nov 7, 2007.
POST your joke sure make sure its not to long :-)
What STD did Bidoof contract ?
what do you get when you cross a fly, a pet, and a car?
A Flying-car-pet hahaha XD heh.... o_o;
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
ok im going to have to stress that the jokes have to be funny ppl
What's red and looks like a bucket?
A red bucket!
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, ''What are you carrying?''
''Melons,'' the blonde replies.
''Cool," the guy says. "If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?''
The blonde giggles and says, ''If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them.''
what kind of shoes do mice wear?
Winter: Two Skyscrapers sit in a House and eat selfmade Strawberry Jam, whats wrong ?
Strawberry can't grow in Winter
did he guess right?
A pirate walked into a bar with a steering wheel between his legs. When the bartender asked him about the wheel, the pirate responded, "YARR, it's drivin' me nuts!"
I posted this in the shoutbox, but not everyone can see it, so here
The famous speaker who no one had heard of said:
Ladies and jellyspoons, hobos and tramps,
cross-eyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants,
I stand before you to sit behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
there's a Mother's Day meeting for fathers only;
wear your best clothes if you haven't any.
Please come if you can't; if you can, stay at home.
Admission is free, pay at the door;
pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
It makes no difference where you sit,
the man in the gallery's sure to spit.
The show is over, but before you go,
let me tell you a story I don't really know.
In the middle of the day, one dark night,
Identical twins, went out to fight.
One was black, the other was white,
Both their mothers, in a state of fright.
They faced each other, back to back,
Brother to brother, white and black.
"What shall we do?" cried each mother.
They drew their swords, and shot each other.
A deaf state trooper, heard the noise,
Shot and killed, the two dead boys.
Although deceased, the two boys sued.
The blind judge noticed, they were both subdued.
"The law's the law! You both must hang!"
"In the electric chair", the jury sang.
"We're sorry", cried the two dead boys.
"We thought the swords were just plain toys"
Their bodies did lay, side by side,
In unkown graves, marked "Hare Nor" "Hide"
You never knew which did the errands,
Identical twins, 'cept for their parents.
All old children, please beware,
Of killing dead boys, anywhere.
You must learn, that once you do,
They might come back, and then sue you.
A valid question. Maybe the guy was stupid. Nobody told us the guy wasn't stupid. Maybe the blonde was getting tired lugging two melons around (presumably on top of her other two melons she couldn't weasel out of that easily), and actually wanted the guy to take them off her hands?
A nun is walking on the street, then a drunken guy suddenly comes up and punch her in the face, the nun falls on the floor and stays there looking scared at the drunk man.. the drunk man then yells:
- Come on Batman! I thought you were better than this!!
Shirley it's a gibbon!
A guy comes into a store and asks for a pack of cigarettes.
The cashier gives him a pack.
On the pack, in large menacing letters, it says "Smoking causes impotence".
And the guy gives them back to the cashier and says,
"Hey, I don't want these, gimme those that cause cancer."
(Always set your priorities straight )
Nobody told us the guy wasn't Blonde
im sorry if im being sexist, but i dont think dumb blonde jokes apply to men
What do you call a Mexican phone company?
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.