The Epic of GBATemp, Book I

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D

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So, there was something along these lines on another forum, so me, being the copycat that I am, wanted to do something like it here. Essentially, we have to create a story. Each member is allowed to continue the story with a sentence or two. It's not too different from stuff that was done here before, just without the one-word limit.

I name this story The Epic of GBATemp, Book I. Here, let me start it off:

The Story So Far
NOTE: Some posts or aspects of the story had to be edited, in order to make it slightly more coherent. Also, typing out several pages in a thread at a time is pain. This, like, took me half an hour.

Violent and Suicidal Beginnings
In the end, there was nothing. Then, there was lasagna everywhere. Nothing but lasagna. With such an abundance of lasagna, it was only a logical conclusion that eventually, everything wouldwait, what am I rambling about? Anyways, here's the beginning of my story: it was the best of times, it was the worst of timesDinohScene is amazing, something that BORTZ can confirmcrash, like the Video Game Crash of 1983. It was only a matter of time before the lasagna would rise up andKSGHGLIESUHGPAEHGEUHGLIHALEHGLKEJHDG

Apparently, the crash was so bad, it split the universe into 4 separate dimensions, one where it was the best of times, one where it was the worst of times, one where lasagna ruled the world, and one where Dinoh and BORTZ reigned supreme over an Intergalactic Empire. These separate dimensions, now at war with each other, engage in a conflict where the first weapon of mass destruction was created. It was bad rappers.

The lasagna was all eaten by Dinoh and BORTZ, and the bad rappers only made mumble rap. They caused everyone to suicide by cutting off their ears and rip their ears out, unfortunately resulting in the population of the Earth missing a nuclear warning by the government. It also caused everyone to speak in triplets and brought an end to the best of times dimension, considering everyone was now cutting themselves. This caused all the rap music to be replaced with Linkin Park, which caused both mass murder and mass suicide. (Jesus, this is dark.)

The advent of Linkin Park music caused everyone to become edgy emos who murdered everyone, and the story ended. Everyone died. The end.

...

Except that the combination of rap music and Linkin Park created another separate universe where everyone lived. Here, people, freed from the agony of the torturous music, began to commit suicide out of happiness. Then edgy emo zombies came and started fighting the few people who hadn't turned into edgy emos. Then began the Great Emo War. Both sides suffered terrible losses, particularly the emo zombies side, due to their penchant for cutting themselves.

In the end, the non-emo humans won thanks to Hitler and Poutine. Hitler used the Poutine to eat Emos and succ popcycle sticks. Then he held his hand high and kissed him.


The Rise and Fall of Gabe Newell
Afterwards, they all raided Valve headquarters in hope of Half-Life 3. Valve wasn't feeling it. Betrayed, the people of the world decided to hide laxatives in one of Gabe's sandwiches. Unfortunately, this allowed Gabe to ascend to Godhood. With his newfound God powers, Gabe decided to crush EA. And the world cheered. Then he decided to bring hat updates to all video games in the world. And then the world stopped cheering. Then Battlefront 3 was released, the original one, not the one probably getting made by EA right now, in addition to Portal 3. The world rejoiced once again, until rileysrjay's mom joined Valve, and censored every inappropriate word in Valve games. Thankfully, that was all for nought, because B_E_P_I_S_M_A_N released a mod that put every inappropraite word back in the game(s).

Then the monsters came out. GROOOUUNDEEERS. Then they ate Gabe.whos gabe? sorry i havent read all the storyHaving not read the story created another split in the universe, creating two parallel dimensions that featured no important differences other than the fact that a few people ceased to exist. Then, a mad scientist decided to merge the two dimensions, but he fucked up the experiment and created 69 dimensions, all with a different ending to Wayne's World. This experiment also gave birth to 53 other alternate earths, which make up the DC Multiverse that The Flash came from. Then, an explosion happened and only the original universe and planet remained, while everything else became universal debris. Not only did the extra universes explode, but so did the extra dimensions. rileysrjay/The Flash managed to escape the original universe on a strange planet, where he met Tempbot.


The Age of Furries, and the Great Furry Wars
Tempbot said that the Earth is flat and then immediately exploded, which caused all other robots to go crazy. Because of this, they decided to declare war on the flat Earth, which they lost immediately, because the Earth isn't flat. After discovering this, the robots tried to make peace with the humans of Earth, who accepted their request for world peace.

The robots and humans lived in peace, until the furries tried to infiltrate the community. A few got in, but the rest didn't. The furries eventually take over the community, which causes there to be only a few non-furries left. They fight to get their world back, and lose. They are cast away into a newly found alternate universe by the furries, which has no other life. They have to start a brand new civilization, when skiddos take over the world. However, this happens in a separate universe, as the one the furries found has humans as its only form of life.

Furries take control of all universes/dimensions, afterwards proceeding to enslave all humans remaining, until one of the final humans decides to yiff, converting him to the furry fandom. Discouraged at losing one of their comrades, the rest of the humans decide to fight back, and lose, enslaving all humans to a worse destiny: yiff-slaves. The humans, seeing how horrible their fate is, hire some rogue furries and fight back against their furry oppressors, but they lose as well, leaving only "real" furries in charge of humanity's fate.don't even try drenal, only furries can win


The humans and rogue furries are now submitted to eternal oppression, and they live like that for years until furries decide to kill all humans, bored of their yiff-slaves. However, the rogue furries silently slip back into society and plan an uprising, but the "real" furries already knew their plan, so they tricked them, resulting in ALL rogue furries getting killed. No furries ever went rogue again until one day, when someone learns of the rogue furry uprising of the past and becomes a rogue furry himself. Then humanity killed all furries, condemned them in the name of Satan, and made sure that furries would never exist again, which is true, considering Noctosphere died too.


The Resurgence of the Human Race
However, some furries survived, and they tried to live a normal life without being detected by humanity. But, since all furries have a short lifetime, they all died when GhostLatte brought B_E_P_I_S_M_A_N into his dungeon. GhostLatte died too, and there is no way to revive him, except for the couple of revives left in his white van. (B_E_P_I_S_M_A_N snuck out and was traumatized for the rest of his days.)

As this was going on, scientists developed a serum that made furries live as long as humans, which is useless, since they all already died, and the world supply of revives (aka GhostLatte's van and various dungeons around the world) were destroyed in a fire. The humans decided to use this serum for their own purposes, and extended their own lives by twice as much. However, there was a bug in the serum, and half the population died in the process. Then the dead were revived due to something in the serum, coming back as furries, but the thing that was in the serum lasted for a small time, and they died again, and the corpses can't be revived again by anything. However, a scientist found a way to keep one alive, and he used it for research.


Dimensional Chaos, and the Return of the Furries
Suddenly, a wormhole opened with a furry army from the past led by TempBot. As a result, EthanAddict dreamed that he got out his minigun and killed every furry and TempBot alive on any dimension on any universe on any anything. What happened in reality is that both humans and furries suffered great casualties. However, killing the remaining furries opened a wormhole and an even bigger furry army led by Tempbot came out, killing EthanAddict and anyone else that stood in their way. The arrival of the furries caused the universe to split.

During all the confusion and chaos, a lone Litten named drenal quietly took over the new universes and tried to unite them as one. This backfired and created even more universes inhabited by VinsClones. The VinsClones tried to make peace with the furries, but ultimately failed. This created three warring factions, all of which decided to destroy every universe and dimension except the original one where humans inhabited them, and, to prevent further chaos, destroyed every universe/dimension machine and everything related to them.

However, EthanAddict (back from the dead apparently) forgot to destroy the time machines, so a human went back in time and stole a dimension machine, bringing it to the present, which caused a bunch of alternate dimensions to surface, including a number of rather disturbing and unusual ones, such as the high school alternate dimension and the gender-bent alternate dimension. This prompted the human population toEnd chapter 1 of the Epic of GBATemp. In order to read Chapter 2, please pay the microtransaction of $4.95! Pays $5.


Chapter 2 (Apparently) and the De-Existence of EA
Suddenly, it is revealed that EA, which still existed in the dimensions where Gabe didn't destroy it, was behind the dimensional splits all along. After hearing of this, the ruler of the universes decides to destroy the current universe(s) and make a new one where EA doesn't exist. The people rejoice for a moment, until they realize that, inexplicably, all video games in the universe are region locked. The humans complain. The furries revolt. The VinsClones start smashing Switch cartridges, which are also the taste of vegetables in this universe.

After seeing this, the ruler of the universe decides to make a universe with EA, but without microtransactions. People were generally pleased with this until everyone suddenly realized they couldn't pee. This birthed a new generation of humans that didn't have to pee.

I Can't Pee, and this is now a Spider-Man Thread
cac.jpg

Go away, this is a meme-free thread!

514.php

Just go to the Spider-Man thread instead
did-someone-say-spiderman-thread-19280376.png


ahem Anyways, these new pee-free humans achieved great things, such as ridding the world of trolls who want to start Spider-Man threads (drenal glares at Noctosphere, who reacts with a :bow:).
 
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drenal

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So, there was something along these lines on another forum, so me, being the copycat that I am, wanted to do something like it here. Essentially, we have to create a story. Each member is allowed to continue the story with a sentence or two. It's not too different from stuff that was done here before, just without the one-word limit.

I name this story The Epic of GBATemp, Book I. Here, let me start it off:


In the end, there was nothing. Then, there was...
Lasagna everywhere. Nothing but lasagna.
 
D

Deleted User

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Wait, what am I rambling about? Anyways, here's the beginning of my story: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

@DinohScene is amazing, that is something @BORTZ can confirm.

crash... like the video game crash of 1983... it was only a matter of time before the lasagna rise up and
Apparently, the crash was so bad, it split the universe into 4 separate dimensions, one where it was the best of times, one where it was the worst of times, one where lasagna ruled the world, and one where Dinoh and BORTZ reigned supreme over an Intergalactic Empire. These separate dimensions, now at war with each other, engaged in a conflict, where...
 
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drenal

that guy
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Wait, what am I rambling about? Anyways, here's the beginning of my story: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
Apparently, the crash was so bad, it split the universe into 4 separate dimensions, one where it was the best of times, one where it was the worst of times, one where lasagna ruled the world, and one where Dinoh and BORTZ reigned supreme over an Intergalactic Empire. These separate dimensions, now at war with each other, engaged in a conflict, where...
the first weapon of mass destruction was created. It was...
 

Noctosphere

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Apparently, the crash was so bad, it split the universe into 4 separate dimensions, one where it was the best of times, one where it was the worst of times, one where lasagna ruled the world, and one where Dinoh and BORTZ reigned supreme over an Intergalactic Empire. These separate dimensions, now at war with each other, engaged in a conflict, where...
lasagna ended ate by @DinohScene and @BORTZ .
bad rappers
and
 

APartOfMe

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with no humans except the rappers left in the world...

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

...and speak in triplets. This brought an end to the best of times dimension, considering everyone was now cutting themselves. This caused all the rap music to be replaced with Linkin Park, which caused...
mass murder
 
D

Deleted User

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The first weapon of mass destruction was a bunch of bad rappers that only made mumble rap. They caused everyone to...
suicide by cutting of their ears
...and speak in triplets. This brought an end to the best of times dimension, considering everyone was now cutting themselves. This caused all the rap music to be replaced with Linkin Park, which caused...
 
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