Thanks

[mthrnite]

Hey Hitto, I wish I could take your vacation advice, but I gotta hit the ground runnin' on this so the bills get paid next month and the kids don't go without. I think I mentioned she quit her job and didn't line up a new one in advance. Maybe her new boyfriend has plenty of money, and won't mind paying for her and the kids and me, but I sure as hell ain't gonna count on that. I have no clue who he is or what he does, but she must have some sense of security, because we don't have any savings to speak of.

And I can't bring myself to hate her if I try, and I've tried. I guess I might later, but right now there's just too much love left in me for her.

Part of the many problems she listed with me is the religion thing. She's a Wiccan and likes the fairies and all, not extremely new agey, but enough. I'm an atheist, and though I try to be respectful, she knows I don't believe in what she does. She thinks I think less of her for her beliefs, but I'm not a conceited atheist type so she's wrong about that. She doesn't believe me though.

One day all this will be sorted out one way or another, but now everything's in flux so I gotta be on the ball. The only reason I'm on here so much today, is I'm just so tired from lack of sleep and food. I'm taking today to rest a bit, and you people are kind enough to write to me and try to help, so I'm trying to keep up and write you back.

 

[Eruonen]

I really feel sorry for you.
I remember when my parents got divorced years ago that my dad was devistated. It lasted 2 years, but he's got psychological problems (manic depression) and since I don't think you do, you'll probably recover faster.

I'm sure you'll get over it.
How old are the kids? You might want to consider talking about it to them anyway, so they know what's going on. My sister was very young too, but my parents still told her about it.

 

[PiNa]

I have to admit I am really surprised how old guyz are gathered in this amazing community. I will turn 36 next year and I expected 99% of teens to be here only. It seems I was wrong. That's good

The other thing I learned during my life is ... if there is a situation like yours, it has no sense to try to solve things right now with hot mind. As you already wrote she's in love and she doesnt act "normally". In usual cases it takes from 3 months up to two years to wear-off that "love on the first sight". Been there done that. You may think you just found the best soul on the earth to live with but it will turn out to be just another ordinary woman.

Maybe when she will calm down, she will realize that she made a huge mistake .... who knows. But it will take lots of time. Who knows what destiny will bring in the future.

Just stay busy, positive ... and try to go out with your friends, as the loneliness is no good at this point of time.

 

[mthrnite]

I'm talking to my four year old, but he just says ok and goes on playing. My wife and I are gonna get together on it soon, and maybe he'll pay more attention to it then. In the meantime, I'm talking about my wife to them in glowing terms, so that when they part from me and can't go back to daddy whenever they want to, maybe they'll know there's no blame from me, and won't blame her either. Of course my two year old is oblivious and probably will be for the next 2 or 3 years. I'm mainly trying to prepare my oldest to deal without me.

I have anxiety disorder, but have medication that pretty much kills it. Stuff like this makes it harder, but I've got backup drugs for when things go really bad. All in all I don't consider it a handicap. I'm lucky that way for sure. Prior to the medication if this had happened it would have been much harder to deal with.

edit: Didn't see your post PiNa, yeah I was surprised there was more than a few old-timers around here too. There's even one guy older than me!
Anyway, I too hope she sees it as a mistake one day, and I hope it's not true what she says about it being hopeless between us. I'm not gonna carry a torch, or I'm gonna try not to. My friends and kids will drive my lonely away, so I have no plans to "get back into action" any time remotely soon. However, if some time in the future she rediscovers love for me, it's my hope that there will still be enough left within me to reboot the family. I really want the boys to have two parents that are close.

 

[5uck3rpunch]

Well said mthrnite. You do what you can to be happy. I couldn't get mad @ my ex @ the time either. It would have been easier if I could. It's hard to just be going straight down the road in life & then all of a sudden swing a hard left turn like this. It will be a big change for all of you if she goes thru with it. I hope she comes to her senses & sees how stable a life she has w/ you & the kids. They always say "you don't know what you have until it's gone" & they are right. If she does go thru with it, she will notice what she had with you & the family & regret her actions.

 

[5uck3rpunch]

WEIRD NETWORK GLITCH CAUSED DOUBLE POST - SORRY!

I'll take advantage of this though:

Hey PiNa:

Who said being 36 is old!?

 

[Extreme Coder]

Sorry man...
for not posting earlier and showing my condolences and also...
I don't know how it really feels taking care of a family, since I'm only 13

But, I can tell you that I did go through a similar thing when my Dad died earlier this year

TBH, having people like you, Tshu, and TPi are one of the main reasons I frequent the GBATemp forums

Hang in there, and keep going strong
Extreme Coder

 

[mthrnite]

5uck3rpunch: Well man, I tried to show her in token ways how I cared in the first few days after she told me.
I carved a pumpkin in her likeness, here's a pic of it now, it's going pretty south but you get the idea:

Also wrote her a song.. Only had a few hours to do it before she left for that weekend, so it's a really rough version. I haven't had the soul power to bring myself back to it to clean it up. Here it is in it's rough form. Yes it's very schmaltzy, if you get icked out easily, don't listen:
If I Only Knew

I also tried to ease her way in any way I could, but nothing really worked and she didn't comment much on the pumpkin, and none on the song, so.. I guess it was worth trying, about like anything else.

ExtremeCoder: thanks for the condolences, and sorry about your dad, as I said before, I know my life isn't worse than a million other people right now. Loss is hard regardless though, and I feel for you too my brother.

...and BTW, if you hear screaming in the song, that's not me wringing her neck (haha) it's my kids wondering vocally why I'm not attending to their every need at the moment. Does put me in the mind of that "Love Rollercoaster" song though, if any of you remember that little urban legend.

 

[Deleted User]

Takeshi: Thank you, it's funny that I see this board as a kind of second family, as an example, when Ray or whatever that Pshock bastard's name was was bashing you the other day, I just wanted to clock him good and tell him "Hey, you messin' with one of my boys you sonofabitch!" (I tried to keep it civil though.) I'm not saying thank you to all of you people lightly, and not trying to start a pity party or anything. I really do appreciate the community here.

I just felt like you did say it when I was reading your post in that thread! And, yes, this community is so awesome, everytime I check the board and it says something like 'offline for maintenance' or even if it lags a little, I feel like I'm a bit lost without you and all the other people!

I have to admit that I actually felt really bad when I read your post about your wife leaving you and I kept thinking about it all day (even when I was in school, after work)! [I also couldn't even use a smiley in my first post - which is a very rare occasion.]
For that 'pity party thing': I never took it that way (just wanted to say this) ... it's good to know that gaming is not the only thing that we're able to talk about over here at gbatemp.

In my opinion, getting your high school diploma equivalent is a good decision and with your 'photoshopping' skills and creativity some good web designs should be easily accomplished after learning how to handle the rest of the tools.

 

[lookout]

mthrnite there no time to lose win her back...

 

[mthrnite]

Thanks again Takeshi.. your words and thoughts, along with everybody elses really touch me.
..and I feel the same way when the board goes down... reload, nope. reload, nope...

I hope I've got some talents that I can put to use, and I'm both a little scared and a little excited about school. I think I can do it though, it's just gonna be a big change from what I'm used to. It's been a looong time since I've graced any hallowed halls.

y'know today's been a long one. I'm faced with the prospect of "her" going away for the weekend again. She says she's going to her mother's, but I'm really not too sure about that. She's home now and we just finished dinner. I've been making her favorite meals all week and tonight I decided not to say anything at all about the seperation. It's hard, not to talk about it because that's how I solve problems, verbally. So I've kept mum and listened to her talk about work stuff and she's fairly cheery, and it I'm keeping my sad face tucked away. I keep getting glimpses of the normality that was with us a few weeks ago. It's easy to pretend in short bursts that nothing is wrong at all. Anyway, like I said today was hard, but I've read and reread this thread top to bottom at least 50 times it seems like... I'm honored that you people give a damn about a faceless guy who's down on his luck. Nobody's said one bad thing about me either, and that feels real nice. However, I am waiting for Yuyuyup to come charging in and call me a pussy or something. That would make me laugh!

Hell, the thought of it makes me laugh!

You guys are golden, the lot of you!

..and lookout, would that it were that easy, I've certainly tried. Maybe her plans will self destruct and she'll have second thoughts one day, but trying to win her back is not an option anymore. If she comes back it'll be of her own volition.



So it goes...

 

[Mangofett]

Wow

I feel sorry for you Mthrnite, sadly there's nothing I can give you except my sympathy and some crazy advice. That was my sympathy, now here's my crazy advice.

Start a website hosting funny pictures, and get people to advertise for you. If it's good, it will spread through word of mouth, and maybe become the next FunnyJunk(in terms of revenue from GoogleAds and PartyPoker popups).

You never know, it may work

.

Also,

Don't join the millitary right now. If you can, join when the war that's currently going on is over, and then spend about 2 years in there for college funds/house payments.

 

[lookout]

You should really put your self together mthrnite kids are very importen to you and your family.
I'am sure it a big misunderstanding boths of you, you already gone far in her life 9 years and it dose mean alot things
she should know it hard to start over again with someone - and it seen you never spend quality time with her and family.
I think she wanted you to change and spend time with her..


dun start off in some miserable life and Suffering yourself with the kids
I understand how you felt about given-life up - really you do need her,
you just get her back and do things right again.


give her a call, ask her if she have time - out for dinner
bring your kids to see her and wear some smart like suit

and spend quality times............


getting a jobs or studying that goods to start - joining the millitary your nut!

good luck

 

[5uck3rpunch]

Takeshi: Thank you, it's funny that I see this board as a kind of second family, as an example, when Ray or whatever that Pshock bastard's name was was bashing you the other day, I just wanted to clock him good and tell him "Hey, you messin' with one of my boys you sonofabitch!" (I tried to keep it civil though.) I'm not saying thank you to all of you people lightly, and not trying to start a pity party or anything. I really do appreciate the community here.
I just felt like you did say it when I was reading your post in that thread! And, yes, this community is so awesome, everytime I check the board and it says something like 'offline for maintenance' or even if it lags a little, I feel like I'm a bit lost without you and all the other people!

I have to admit that I actually felt really bad when I read your post about your wife leaving you and I kept thinking about it all day (even when I was in school, after work)! [I also couldn't even use a smiley in my first post - which is a very rare occasion.]
For that 'pity party thing': I never took it that way (just wanted to say this) ... it's good to know that gaming is not the only thing that we're able to talk about over here at gbatemp.

In my opinion, getting your high school diploma equivalent is a good decision and with your 'photoshopping' skills and creativity some good web designs should be easily accomplished after learning how to handle the rest of the tools.

@ Takeshi: Dude, I don't know how old you are, but VERY WELL SPOKEN! I feel like I have a friend in Germany knowing you.

 

[mthrnite]

Linki: thanks and you never know, maybe I'll hunt down Ebaum, shoot him and take his site...
1. Steal Ebaums world
2. ?
3. PROFIT!

..and lookout, she's still living here except for weekends. We're hashing out the seperation agreement, very slowly. I've done everything I could think of to try to convince her to stay, and gone above and beyond what I've thought myself capable of, especially in my current state. Nothing's working. I even told her I'd move in with her at her mom's and we'd try again on her home turf. It didn't make a dent. Not a dent. She's already in love with someone else and there's just no getting around it. She's done stuff this week that I could call nothing less than heartless. She's blind to me, at least until the shine wears off of the new guy, if indeed it does. So it goes...

 

[Mangofett]

Linki: thanks and you never know, maybe I'll hunt down Ebaum, shoot him and take his site...
1. Steal Ebaums world
2. ?
3. PROFIT!

..and lookout, she's still living here except for weekends. We're hashing out the seperation agreement, very slowly. I've done everything I could think of to try to convince her to stay, and gone above and beyond what I've thought myself capable of, especially in my current state. Nothing's working. I even told her I'd move in with her at her mom's and we'd try again on her home turf. It didn't make a dent. Not a dent. She's already in love with someone else and there's just no getting around it. She's done stuff this week that I could call nothing less than heartless. She's blind to me, at least until the shine wears off of the new guy, if indeed it does. So it goes...

...or shoot the bastard that stole your wife

 

[lookout]

If she's really in love with someone she really want you to change, it really hard for her forget about you and the kids.
if she stay here druing the week with you and kid, you should knew she can't think leaving everything behind mean you still have time to change this arounds

I do understand if she's really in love with someone reason of him $hit, etc.. this really tell me that you not spending any quality time with her
and not doing things as she wanted..

nobody happy talk about seperation agreement not even you or even her - you really need to tell her to "forget the seperation agreement and start
from the beging!" "which is love".... it wrong to say that to her " I even told her I'd move in with her at her mom's?" it sound you really weak and can't support your self...
be a man do things right

don't tell her things like this just let her thinks, she never tell you why she gone off over the weekend -
it seen she no longer trusted you - telling her about your feeling and what you do? it not going work and have to show her your feeling and let her re-think again...


just take her out for dinner with kids to a chinese restaurant or a restaurant she like and tell her that "you wanted to spend few time with her and with the kids"
mthrnite you really need her back, dun Lock thing away, this guy have notting more then you have now and you never seen him or know about him
he could never exist?

You should also speak to her friends and tell them you worry about her and wanted her back.. don't say anythings about this guys, etc.. just play along
as you dun known...



tips
-----
buy some red rose and place it on the table at home and write a tag said "pls stay" (this tell her everytime she see or touch, that you still love her)
and kept it lives and rich so you don't have to worry about her love to you. it already tolds you

 

[lagman]

...or shoot the bastard that stole your wife

As perfect as that sounds it´s not really a option, ´cause if you shoot he, there will be another one, and another......

If she have decided to leave, it´s her decision, maybe sometime she realize that she was wrong and she may wants to get back, then it will be a mthr´s decision. A hard one

 

[lookout]

Linki: thanks and you never know, maybe I'll hunt down Ebaum, shoot him and take his site...
1. Steal Ebaums world
2. ?
3. PROFIT!

..and lookout, she's still living here except for weekends. We're hashing out the seperation agreement, very slowly. I've done everything I could think of to try to convince her to stay, and gone above and beyond what I've thought myself capable of, especially in my current state. Nothing's working. I even told her I'd move in with her at her mom's and we'd try again on her home turf. It didn't make a dent. Not a dent. She's already in love with someone else and there's just no getting around it. She's done stuff this week that I could call nothing less than heartless. She's blind to me, at least until the shine wears off of the new guy, if indeed it does. So it goes...

...or shoot the bastard that stole your wife

We found a guy bleed to death right after he
shoted by a 17mm sniper...

 

[lookout]

If she have decided to leave, it´s her decision, maybe sometime she realize that she was wrong and she may wants to get back, then it will be a mthr´s decision. A hard oneÂ

A decision coming back it not hard for him but hard for her
it be very difficult to trust someone like this.........