Taleweaver looking into buying Greenland country (owned by Denmark)

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by Taleweaver, Aug 19, 2019.

  1. Taleweaver
    OP

    Taleweaver Storywriter

    Member
    13
    Dec 23, 2009
    Belgium
    Belgium
    Well...since the opinion of the prime minister of the place is apparently irrelevant for some reason, I might as well jump in on the bandwagon:

    I'm going to buy Greenland. Greenlanders just don't know it yet. B-)

    "but Taleweaver...Greenland isn't for sale"

    Oh, shut up, you! In this world, everything is for sale. For example, I start my bid with one euro. If that's declined, then it's proof that it IS for sale (it wouldn't be declined otherwise, right?).

    "but...why?"

    I said it before: I'm jumping the bandwagon. I know some rightsider gbatemps will have a field day: I actually agree with Donald Trump for a change. Greenland has the name of being cold and uninhabitable, but thanks to climate change the country might actually live up to his name somewhere in the not so distant future. Heck...I gotta give the old fart credit for that: all this climate change denial sure kept the value of the place lower than it really is. So it's actually in my best interest to buy it.

    Oh, and okay: there is no price I wouldn't pay just to be able to walk to the beach, knowing that on the other end of the ocean is someone wishing he can flee from his failed job, and then putting a large "NO TRUMPS ALLOWED" sign into the sand. :tpi:

    "So, you're going to outbid Donald Trump?"

    Of course not. What would be the point in that? He's just an old, impulsive and forgetful man. Why attempt to play nice and watch him increase Greenland's price when I can just shout "oh, look! A Mexican democrat is trying to sneak in Chinese imports!!!"? By the time he resurfaces from the twitter realm, I'm the owner of Greenland and he has to settle with a comfort prize (that'll be Iceland...unless someone else with half a brain joins the bandwagon as well).

    "...but what do you know of real estate?"

    I do know houses when I see them. I've lived in those things for most of my life, and am now the proud owner of one. Greenland is just a culmination of more of that. Besides: it's not like I want those Greenlanders out. On the contrary: my plan is to be the sort of owner who does it so good that nobody even notices I'm there(1).

    I'd also like to point out that my value in real estates is in the area of zero, which is much better than Donald Trump, who is too embarrassed to even show his tax records. So in a way, I'm doing HIM a favor. If he buys the place, it'll soon have to file for bankruptcy. And unlike his casino's, the place is a little too big to sweep under the rug (PS @Trump: don't feel bad about it, mate. You wouldn't like it there: the place is just chock full of those foreigners you hate so much).

    "...I guess that makes sense somehow."

    What do you mean, 'sense'? Of course it doesn't make sense: I'm following in Trump's footsteps here. If I wanted to be logical about this, I'd do a cost-analysis first. Contact authorities. See what my prospects are. Check my balance, reserves and assets. All of that is just administrative hassle. I want it to be about DOING rather than all that junk, just like it'll be about blaming others for thwarting my attempts (damn you, Kim Kielsen. And you as well, Mette Frederiksen. I'll show you what "isn't for sale" means!!! :gun:).

    Ahem...but seriously: my credibility of buying Greenland is the same as Donald's (I'm arguing it's better, but I might be wrong. I'll gladly concede that should Trump's tax records disprove all claims against his company). So it's up for equal discussion.


    (1): yeah, of course I'm putting up a statue of myself in Nuuk. What's the point of power if you can't wield it?
     
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  2. Thunder Hawk

    Thunder Hawk Firefox Master Race

    Member
    7
    Jan 21, 2013
    United States
    You can't buy it if I buy it first. :tpi:
     
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  3. IncredulousP

    IncredulousP GBAtemp's Resident Bastard

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    6
    Aug 21, 2012
    United States
    a Fuking van
    Yeah? Well $5 says it's mine.
     
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  4. alexander1970

    alexander1970 GBAtemp allows me to be here

    Member
    12
    Nov 8, 2018
    Austria
    Austria
    I do not care WHO buys it from you, "heroes".:P

    As long as you do not charge for ice fishing.
     
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  5. H1B1Esquire

    H1B1Esquire RxTools, the ultimate CFW machine.

    Member
    10
    Nov 2, 2016
    United States
    Earth, bro-dude.
    Little do any of you realize, I'm going to cover Greenland in sand and have nude beach-front property on every square inch.


    Don't worry--you can get an acre for a couple-hundred assbux, but the tax will kill you.
     
  6. Flame

    Flame Me > You

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    the thing i don't get is Greenland is all ice, Iceland is all green.
     
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  7. IncredulousP

    IncredulousP GBAtemp's Resident Bastard

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    6
    Aug 21, 2012
    United States
    a Fuking van
    Not for long...
     
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  8. Flame

    Flame Me > You

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    Jul 15, 2008
    :(


    sad
     
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