Sigh.. Depression kicking back..

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by deathfisaro, Aug 21, 2007.

  1. deathfisaro

    deathfisaro Narcistic Deathfisaro Fan

    Mar 16, 2007
    Vancouver, BC
    I don't want reader to feel down, hence the spoiler tag.
    This post is pointless and full of bishing, I think.

    I was diagnosed (?) as depression last summer. I actually was always feeling down except when having fun with friends. A month-ish of clinic and some pills
    (damn those pills with side effects, I only took a few and doctor agreed I was getting too much side effect compared to how much pill is helping)
    And got over with... I thought

    Recently I don't find any interest in anything. Loss of appetite, getting drunk not pleasurable, games are not fun, and can't go to bed either. My visiting frequency of gbatemp has drastically decreased, for recently I usually find 10+ pages of new posts opposed to 5~7 previously.

    I wish I could take my brain out, cut off parts that are causing depression, and stick it back.
    I am really losing the will to live. The only reason I'm living is because I don't want my family and friends get sad over my death.
    Yeah, I was really excited about GBAtemp tourney, but now the registration is open I'm like "meh who cares".

    I hope my depression is seasonal -summer only- although having this every year is quite a horror as well.
    All I want now is a sleeping pill and something alive to cuddle with.
  2. 4ppleseed

    4ppleseed GBAtemp Fan

    Mar 27, 2007
    May I ask how old you are?
  3. mthrnite

    mthrnite So it goes.

    Former Staff
    Jun 30, 2006
    United States
    th' south
    Stay alive. I know it's rough. I was a medicated kid back when the medicines were a lot less specific. One pill I was on almost maimed me for life (Thorazine, look it up for the scary side effects.) The best you can do is be honest with you're parents (if that's applicable) and doctors about what you're thinking and feeling, so they can run you through the courses as quickly as possible. You will be a guinea pig for a while, and be very uncomfortable, wired, lethargic, horrible dreams, voices, etc.. but with every course you try, your meds are being narrowed down to something specific to your needs. It's a big balancing act, and it's a shame it has to be so empirical in method to arrive at your special brew, but arrive you will at some point, and life will be better. Just stay alive in the interim, make a pact with yourself to maintain that one promise, even when it seems like a pointless endeavor. Assume that your thinking is temporarily screwed up any time you just want to stop it all, and keep that one promise, stay alive.

    I'm not a doctor, but I've been soaked in this side of life for quite a long time, so if you need anything, just pm me or email me, and I'll try to walk you through the fog if I can.

    Remember your promise. Write it down and stick it under your mattress. Embed it in yourself as the lone certainty when all else is uncertain.

    edit: ...and don't drink, it makes it worse and makes the process take a lot longer. You can do that stuff later when you've leveled out, but not now. Nothing mind altering, no weed, no drink, you'll get through it a lot sooner if you don't sully the process up.
  4. silverspoon

    silverspoon GBAtemp Fan

    Jul 8, 2007
    Location Unknown
  5. grifter

    grifter GBAtemp Regular

    Aug 6, 2007

    It's harder than that, it's a disease - just like a cold.

    Most people think it's something weird and strange but this disease changes the way you think and nothing looks bright.

    Good luck mate, just chain up that big dark dog outside.
  6. El-ahrairah

    El-ahrairah GBAtemp Fan

    Jul 20, 2007
    United States
    Have you tried St. Johns Wort? It's a herb that is used for depression. I take it about once a week with my other vitamins.

    Also, if it's still sunny where you live, you could try going out in the sun. It seems to work for people with S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). It's usually a winter condition but the change in seasons, perhaps, triggers it also.
  7. dice

    dice pansy-ass ex-staff member

    Former Staff
    Oct 26, 2002
    Finding something else to do will certainly help. Ask your friends/family to try out something different. It can be anything.
    You say "Recently I don't find any interest in anything". IMO a large portion of the things people enjoy doing don't come because they originally wanted to do them. I only began to get interested in gaming when I started to play, not when I watched other people playing them. It's not likely to prevent depression from occuring at some point but I'm sure if you find that right hobbie it'll certainly help.
  8. mooiweer

    mooiweer GBAtemp Fan

    Apr 2, 2003
    hello after reading what you tried to explain, i would try to reply and share a little from what i was guessing or show whats maybe the same looking what i have experient in life so far. i dunno how the way your depression did make you feel so and maybe it was in your eyes a good decision to ask your doctor if he could help you. i can be hard if those pill have side effects yes, i would have it such way if it wasnt necessary but yes if could help to reduce/divide the pain. when i was a child my mother also had much pain and got medicine from her doctor's advice it did helped her but she got hooked on it and the doctor said she needed to take lesser more pills in time and she did and it got better. about myself i had also hard times i was raised with th bible but i was seeing other people had fun with the things i didnt wanted because i learned it was bad. i started smoking when i was 12 and still do, but when i was 17/18years old i also did things like drugs like weed. and sometimes a couple of times in a year coke/xtc. those xtcpills did have big side effect when starting using so i didnt want much of them. last summer i used again some of those and i didnt feld much great about it maybe they put in some stuff to get a hard dick todays(i cant find the right words), but the effects where getting softer. so i think i dont wanna have them again. i also got a better picture now for what i didnt understand and what my mother had in those days. i also noticed you play with alot of systems games, i like playing games too but when i started playing games there where more than now (waiting/its getting slower with the newset i guess) i feel it hard to keep things separated and healthy too seriously. i like to play, with friends,storygames, but time is many times running away like clockwork, also like media and try to make music (with looper on the gba) and try/need to get it connected i cant do it all alone myself but taking time when a place feels good makes it how it goes or how its finished. greetings (dont count it like gain/gamepoint [​IMG]
  9. nintendofreak

    nintendofreak Around. Shoot me a PM.

    Mar 27, 2006
    United States
    Cal Poly Pomona / (323)
    You can get help with this.... But once your dead, its over. Dont make that mistake, your probably very young like most of us here, theres alot left to life!! Just remember that your not alone in this, thousands (if not millions!!) of people have this type of issue. Best bet would to be honest with your family on you feel, so you can be helped fast.
  10. phuzzz

    phuzzz Hooha!

    Former Staff
    Nov 9, 2002
    United States
    Chapel Hill, NC
    I agree with mthr, talk it out. I've been in a similar situation a few years ago as you are right now. I found talking about it with your family and friends that really care about you really helps out.

    And don't take this next statement as trying to insult you in any way: remember that things can always be worse for you. No matter what's happening to you, there are people in this world that have it worse. That's how I got over my depression. It's true that everything feels like crap right now, but realize that you're not at the bottom of the hole.

    Also, about being depressed during the summer... if you're in school, especially college, depression during this time makes even more sense. While you are at school, you always get to see your friends; but in the summer, they go home or go on vacation. That usually bums me out too.
  11. Takeshi

    Takeshi GBAtemp Addict

    Jun 1, 2004
    That's what helped me a lot too. The first thing was to talk about it, then realizing that I'm not alone with this and at last the part phuzzz stated above.

    I was feeling (almost) exactly the same like you do now. I totally lost my will to live (I was crying almost all the time; everything felt dull and numb; no fun anymore) but my parents, friends (not only those in real life) and a therapy helped me a lot. Now, about four years later I'm so glad that I didn't do anything other than trying to get rid of my depression!

    Although I can only speak for myself--regarding to the posts above me--I'm sure many members of GBAtemp would like to help you to get out of it!
  12. iTech

    iTech GBAtemp Regular

    Jun 14, 2007
    United States
    I could break down right now and write a long tirade about all the bullshit that has been said here, but I won't. I'm just gonna link to some pages I suggest you read before doing anything that might be irreversible. I'd like to add that I stand 100% behind the information in the sites linked and that I am in a position to make a trustworthy judgment.

    My immediate advice to you would be that you go see a Psychiatry-skeptical GP (= one that does not wave Paxil in your face when you complain of accidentally having glued a sextoy on your balls) and get a full checkup, including checking for food allergies and sensitives. When nothing turns up, get a second opinion. And don't believe for a second that you have some kind of "Disease" called Depression because no such disease exists. In fact, if you can prove to me that Depression is a real medical disease, I hereby grant you all of my possessions, including a second-hand sister and crackwhore mother. There are 375 disorders in DSM IV and none of them have being proven to exist, not one of them has an existing cure for it, and none of them can be detected using a brainscan or a bloodtest no matter what you read in the newspapers. Unless there is clear hard medical evidence that something wrong was found in your system, you don't have a medical problem. How many people were diagnosed with Depression and subsequently medicated, only to later find out they had a thyroid problem or Diabetes?
    [500,000 lines of random insults directed at psychiatry cut out]

    Depression can never be a disease since it is a disorder.

    [Rambling cut out]

    /iTech walks the fuck out mumbling about Psychiatry and throwing home-grown turds at stumped passerbyes
  13. deathfisaro

    deathfisaro Narcistic Deathfisaro Fan

    Mar 16, 2007
    Vancouver, BC
    Heh, thanks to people who replied, and people who cared to read them.

    Don't worry I won't kill myself [​IMG]

    I'm not exactly suicidal, the consequences are on my loved ones so I'm never going to do it. But everyday is just another day. I enjoy food a lot, to the point I can tell the origin of the beef by eating it, but recently I just eat to survive. I'm going out with my friends tomorrow for cinnamon yam fries, they're such a killer. That's gotta make me happier.

    Vancouver weather is really nice in the summer. I'll go out with my girlfriend. Hanging out with friends always work, according to my psychiatrist depression kicks at night and that sounds true.
    I've been watching my mood very closely and I seem to be a little down in the morning, very up during the day, and very down at late night.
    My last post is made at 2 AM, I bet that'd be my last bishing about my mood in a while.

    edit: I'm into mixology (lol) but don't smoke/drug. Mixing cocktails is fun, especially when my guests love my experimental mix.
  14. Arm73

    Arm73 GBAtemp Addict

    Mar 4, 2006
    Yeah I'm 34 and in my life I've felt the way you do now several times.
    It usually happens in the winter time though, summer it's aways funnier for me because I like the beach and the warm temperature.
    I found out that if you get busy with something, like start practicing sport or get a new job and focus on it, since everything is new (the environment , new collegs , new schedule and generally lots of new inputs) then this kind of depression goes away, and I start to appreciate the little free time I gain by doing things that I like most, and since my free time is limited, I really enjoy it more.
    So well, I don't know how old you are but I would recommend you to get a job and focus on it, I'm sure you'll feel better, and drug free.
  15. amptor

    amptor Banned

    May 2, 2003
    United States
    There was a study a while ago conducted that said marriage can cure depression. But getting to that point is difficult I mean... generally I've found that friends won't help friends find a girl if they know they are depressed (which is stupid because usually those people were depressed before finding a girl too) and well that's pretty much the main part of the trouble. But if you aren't looking for a girl then all i can really say that helps for me is just waiting and then eventually you'll have fun with games and such, I get bored with games sometimes and then don't know what to do. It's better to have either more than one hobby or having games as a hobby and using the non-gaming time to do something else like work or study. Just keep active and everything should be fine, I don't believe in drugs too much..they say that if you exercise that can also fix the depression. I just would get into the exercising not expecting it to and just keep on doing that and then everything should work out by itself I'm thinking.
  16. cubin'

    cubin' GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

    Apr 12, 2007

    That Dr Breggin guy is a complete quack, no offense to your opinions of course. He's been in trouble many times and has almost had his status revoked because of the various bullshit he's spouted. He has some good ideas but a lot of the evidence and scare tactics he uses are quite insane.

    Hang in there deathfisaro and go see a decent psychiatrist/chologist if you can afford it. You seem like a very awesome person.

    Try and stay busy if you can, start up a new hobby, don't smoke pot, find something that gets you excited and try and have stuff you can look forward too.

    I'm very proud of the maturity in all the people who replied to this, who thought gbatemp could be so supportive? you guys are the awesome.

    good luck with everything dude [​IMG]
  17. grifter

    grifter GBAtemp Regular

    Aug 6, 2007
    Depression can never be a disease since it is a disorder.

    Ok, me saying this was my attempt to 'normalise' depression. People seem to think it's such a weird, strange and odd thing that they have - That they are no longer human.

    Just saying if society treated depression like a common cold, it would be easier for people to deal with as they wouldn't feel like such outsiders and weirdos. And there's likely more people with depression than a cold anyway...
  18. yuyuyup

    yuyuyup GBAtemp Psycho!

    Apr 30, 2006
    United States
    USA MTN timezone
    My visiting frequency of gbatemp has drastically decreased, for recently I usually find 10+ pages of new posts opposed to 5~7 previously.


    but seriously, I'm severely depressed, just get some pills and pray
  19. User200

    User200 GBAtemp Regular

    Aug 7, 2007
    United States
    If only that could happen... i have depression and when other people treat you like an diseased person doesn't make it any better. On top of depression i have anger problems too [​IMG]
  20. When Im Gone

    When Im Gone Banned

    May 6, 2007
    United States
    I was expecting some noob to post "Cheer up emo kid!"

    But eh I don't see how you can even get Depression. I understand getting sad or upset but depression never really made sence to me, its like it was made up by someone to get attention.