Science Explains How to Cheat on your Girlfriend without getting Caught

[SG854]

I have a way backed by science conducted by a series of experts in the field with lots of experience and successful long marriages on how to avoid getting caught in 5 easy steps


1/ Tell her you went out with the guys
2/ Tell her you went to help out at the homeless shelter
3/ Bring up the time she was eye balling that guy at the grocery store
4/ Tell her you are suffering from depression
5/ If all above fails do what I call the Jim Carey Defense by acting as crazy as you can

 

[Vila_]

6/ just don't cheat becuse it's a sin and it's also a bad thing to do

 

[AmandaRose]

I have a way backed by science conducted by a series of experts in the field with lots of experience and successful long marriages on how to avoid getting caught in 5 easy steps


1/ Tell her you went out with the guys
2/ Tell her you went to help out at the homeless shelter
3/ Bring up the time she was eye balling that guy at the grocery store
4/ Tell her you are suffering from depression
5/ If all above fails do what I call the Jim Carey Defense by acting as crazy as you can

Hmm let me give my reaction to the 5 points based on if my boyfriend was trying to use them.

1. A quick check of his phone would soon rule out that reason.

2. I would phone the shelter to find out if he had been there.

3. There is nothing wrong with looking as long as you don't touch. So that would not be a good excuse to use.

4. Does depression really give someone an out for cheating? As someone who has suffered bouts of depression myself at various times in my life I can barely leave the house at times and the thought of having verbal or indeed physical contact with others is the last thing I would want. So that excuse would not wash with me

5. The Jim Carey Defence could work but I would still kick my BF in the balls for cheating.

 

[FAST6191]

Hmm let me give my reaction to the 5 points based on if my boyfriend was trying to use them.

1. A quick check of his phone would soon rule out that reason.

2. I would phone the shelter to find out if he had been there.

3. There is nothing wrong with looking as long as you don't touch. So that would not be a good excuse to use.

4. Does depression really give someone an out for cheating? As someone who has suffered bouts of depression myself at various times in my life I can barely leave the house at times and the thought of having verbal or indeed physical contact with others is the last thing I would want. So that excuse would not wash with me

5. The Jim Carey Defence could work but I would still kick my BF in the balls for cheating.

1. There are those that can leave the phone behind, and those that don't have a phone at all. In my case most of my friends are drawn from those not on any form of social meeja as well. It would also presume no burner phone and you having technical and tradecraft skills to match your significant other.

2. So secure your alibi?

3. -

4. An out? Depends upon the relationship, though I would not call it a good one if that is the case. As far as depression manifesting as finding yourself in the bed of another (or indeed caught in your shared bed) then takes different forms in different people. Self destructive urges and urges to "feel alive/needed/wanted/connected" play out in a variety of different manners, to say nothing of the difference between mild and chronic.

5. Domestic violence is no fun but I generally avoid fighting crazy people, those faking it or otherwise.


Anyway if various studies and internet videos are to be believed the commitment is lame and not the done thing, that and apparently you want a harem. In all cases sounds like a lot of effort for very little gain.

 

[AmandaRose]

1. There are those that can leave the phone behind, and those that don't have a phone at all. In my case most of my friends are drawn from those not on any form of social meeja as well. It would also presume no burner phone and you having technical and tradecraft skills to match your significant other.

2. So secure your alibi?

3. -

4. An out? Depends upon the relationship, though I would not call it a good one if that is the case. As far as depression manifesting as finding yourself in the bed of another (or indeed caught in your shared bed) then takes different forms in different people. Self destructive urges and urges to "feel alive/needed/wanted/connected" play out in a variety of different manners, to say nothing of the difference between mild and chronic.

5. Domestic violence is no fun but I generally avoid fighting crazy people, those faking it or otherwise.


Anyway if various studies and internet videos are to be believed the commitment is lame and not the done thing, that and apparently you want a harem. In all cases sounds like a lot of effort for very little gain.

Ok as I said my replies were in regards if it was my own BF in the situation.

1. He takes his phone everywhere with him

2. He ain't that smart lol.

3.

4. There is no excuse for cheating

5. I wouldn't actually kick him in the balls. But again there is no excuse for cheating or indeed domestic violence.

 

[BlazeMasterBM]

Cheaters get the rope

 

[FAST6191]

Cheaters get the rope

Does every such thread have to devolve into fetishes?

 

[Flame]

 

[Kioku]

I miss the eof

 

[Deleted member 546149]

I miss the eof

Me too

 

[Deleted member 668561]

BULLSHIT!



It all can be reduced to a single step process:



1. Both of you consume an entire 1/8 oz or more of hi grade cannabis and down a bottle of ciroc

Female kryptonite


Not cheating advice, but usefulness

 

[Julie_Pilgrim]

great now i just need a gf to test this

 

[FAST6191]

Well worth a watch if you are going with that song still

I was also as shocked as anybody that Vice still could produce something interesting, more so that other episodes in the series were also of interest.

Don't think I have any suitable candidates for cheating on your girlfriend songs so I will have to go with

or maybe

 

[Chary]

"Getting" not being capitalized in the title is the only offense worse than cheating

 

[Deleted member 668561]

I miss the eof

I beg of you, don't cry

 

[FAST6191]

Don't think I have any suitable candidates for cheating on your girlfriend songs so I will have to go with

Seems I am a failure if I am counting cheating girlfriend songs, EOF so song
Runaround Sue

Cover song despite not being in cover thread (also while good I prefer the original/well known version).

or maybe


Anyway not sure what I can add to this other than teaching people general espionage tradecraft, surveillance, countersurveillance, interrogation, counter interrogation, mental manipulation and similar techniques ( https://cryptome.org/2012/07/gent-forum-spies.htm is not terribly related here but a favourite never the less), and frankly by the time you get to any kind of capability to use them in anger it will be far in excess of what most people I have ever met will be capable of dodging or putting the effort into dodging, and operating in such mindframes is really quite tiring as well ( https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2015/09/living_in_a_cod.html ).

 

[SG854]

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

That last one Ha Ha Ha. They were going to throw a surprise party but got surprise themselves.

 

[Deleted member 668561]