I think "that castle" would fit better, but I'm still having doubts since "this" would fit Suzuka's archaic speech better. I figured I'd bring it to your attention (first image)

Not entirely sure, but I think it's "with certainty". (second image)

It's the first time I've heard of this word actually. I always assumed it was "archetypical". Seeing as how I still can't make out the difference between the two, I figured I'd just bring it to your attention. (third image)

Extremely minor nitpick, I know, but I thought "E-er" would fit better than "Eer".
(fourth image)

I think "excuse" can be omitted. (fifth image)

"There is no other option left" or "there are no other options" (sixth image)

I think "the" should be placed before "Endless Frontier" (seventh image)

The location is cut off in this savespot. (eighth and ninth image)

"acquaintances" is spelled incorrectly. (tenth image)

I assumed it was either "to the southeast of here" or "in the southeast". (eleventh image)

I think you can omit either "the" or "Sanuki Nanbu". (twelfth image)

Maybe "a" should be placed before "mighty" to make the sentence flow better. (thirteenth image)

The location gets cut off here (fourteenth and fifteenth image)

I don't know what the original script said, but I thought the way Alady addresses Kaguya is a little too informal for him. I figured I'd bring it to your attention. (sixteenth image)

I don't know if "by" is the correct preposition here. Maybe "through" would fit better? Honestly, I have no idea. (nineteenth image)

"Turning those around you "into" allies..."
(eighteenth image)

Technically not incorrect depending on the perspective. Kyon needs to return to Formiddheim, but seeing as how the story is being told through the perspective of Alady/Neige I figured it'd be better if it said: "You need to go to..."
(seventeenth image)

Also, which way of uploading images is preferable?

 

At "the" Fujisakura.


Not sure, but based on the context I think "Did it exist..." would fit better.


"In such "a" place"


"The" Giant Marquis


This guy was as you "described"


I think "just" can be omitted or placed between "to" and "play".


One of the two quotation marks is missing at 'Neverland'


I think "there" should be placed between "you" and "straight".


Extremely minor nitpick incoming. When you save at this location the "R" in region is in uppercase,



while if you save at this place the "R" is in lowercase



Shouldn't it be "Dr." Marion?

 

I get the same. Please help fix this!

 

"it was a really huge..." flows a bit better.


"from" entering


Shouldn't it be 'all "kinds" of ruins'?


I think you can omit a couple of commas.


Not sure, but I think you can omit "through"


"That" horn on your head


Not sure if "puffed-up" should be hyphenated.


Location gets cut off



'You shouldn't have forced it "to" do things..."


"Enter Varna street again..."


I think you can omit "of"


I think you can omit "very"


"Possess such strength"


There's one quotation mark after Oban Koban


There's one quotation mark after No good.


I think you can omit the last comma.


I think you can replace the hyphen by a slash (unless it's impossible ofcourse).


join "up" with KOS-MOS


I think you can omit the last comma.


Also, minor nitpick. During your first battle with Pete Pain he uses an attack which is called "lost boys shooter" (those words appear above him), while he says "lost boys slaughter". It's the attack where you see a cut-in/animation of him before he uses the attack.

 

Thanks for this! Just completed the Dragon Tower, felt good to play through this game and be able to actually understand the story and jokes

 

I have a question since this is a Region Locked game that is newly translated...

Is there any Post-Game bonuses other than the BGM Soundtrack available on [Settings] ?

 

Brilliant, thank you for these!

 

Can anyone help me with this?

 

1.
You can omit "in".

2.
The last "e" in castle gets slightly cut off here.

3/4
You know how whenever there are two or more enemies of the same species, you can still tell them apart because it says "enemy A" or "enemy B" on the bottom screen? Those letters are missing when you encounter this enemy. She's in Megi Castle.

5.
Assuming KOS-MOS talks with a British accent, "neutralized" should be "neutralised".

6.
Axel is quoting her here, so I don't know whether it should be written with an "s" since he's quoting her or with a "z" since he's the one saying it.

7.
Same thing happens here.

8.
Not sure, but can you proceed "back" to a place?

9.
The switch at the bottom gives you this prompt when interacted with (one sentence).

10.
The switch at the top gives this prompt (two sentences).

11.
"This is 'as' far as you go".

12.
I think "a fair few" is British English. Maybe "a fair number" would fit (if it's American English you're going for).

13.
Not sure if this word should be hyphenated.

14.
Gallivanting already implies that you're doing something for fun/pleasure, so I think you can omit "for fun".

15.
Not sure whether it should be "like you" or "as you".

16.
"This" should be replaced by "that" based on the context.

17.
Assuming KOS-MOS talks with a British accent, "utilizing" should be "utilising".

18.
Either "the Chief" or "Chief Bonny".

19.
"I'll have to take a look at it myself" I feel like this sentence flows a bit better.

20.
Not sure whether this sentence should have a question mark (don't know what the original Japanese text said).

21/22/23
I found this whole exchange with the mirror a bit strange. Based on how Neige reacts, it feels like the mirror said: "I can't answer that" instead of "I will answer", so please take a look at that.

Sorry for this layout. Whenever I try to upload them as a full image I get an error.

 

1.
There's a quotation mark missing before "big".

2.
Assurify
Fighter Roar is mixing Aschen up with Lamia here. The thing is, Lamia has a speech impediment and makes a couple of mistakes whenever she's speaking. Now, this is either an error or Aschen is leaning on the fourth wall to make a joke.

3.
"I would call them barracks"

4.
"There aren't even any enemies here."

5.
Stop them "from" misusing....

6.
Somewhere instead of somwhere.

7.
You can omit "do a", i.e. " to report to Cindy".

8.
Not sure if a question mark belongs here.

9.
Okay, so I read somewhere (though I'm still not sure about it) on the internet that "in doing so" and "in so doing" are pretty much the same except for one thing.

In so doing has a more negative connotation to it, so when you use it you follow it up with a negative thing as opposed to "in doing so" which has a more positive connotation to it.

The thing is, I don't know whether this consequence should be seen as positive or negative. On the one hand, him finding his own way of life is a good thing, on the other hand, him not being a true Shura anymore is kind of a bad thing (I think). Personally, I'm inching more towards it being a positive thing, so I think "in doing so" would be "more" correct.

10.
"There are things" instead of "there's things"

11.
"Marvellous" = British English vs "Marvelous" = American English

12.
Not sure if there should be a question mark here.

13.
Not sure if there should be a question mark here.

14.
Valerianella tower or the Valerianella tower

15.
"Damage" is fine.

16.
I don't know whether "difficulties" should be singular or plural.

17.
It doesn't "sit" well with me.

18.
I think "that android" should replace "this android".

19.
There should be a question mark in his first sentence.

20.
Be "a" bumpy ride.

21.
Valerianella tower vs the Valerianella tower.

22.
I forgot to take a screenshot here at this exact moment. Right before Alfimi says this Axel says something and I think "this" should be replaced with "that" in that sentence. Sorry about that.

23.
The same thing happened right here. The line before this says "food and drink"
I think it should be
"drinks/beverages" instead of "drink".