Relationship advice from the internet, please!

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by Wellington2k, Dec 13, 2015.

  1. Wellington2k
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    Wellington2k DO YOU HAS?

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    EDIT: Just got back from going on a date with her. Thanks for all the advice everyone here!! :lol:

    So, this is probably not going to work, but please try to give actual advice that pertains to the situation at hand. Thanks. :yay:

    First off, I've never been in a relationship with anyone due to a series of unfortunate events in Middle School and High School, so I'm a little... unknowledgeable in the relationship scene.

    Anyway, so (as the story goes), I met this girl about a month ago, and we've been hanging out a lot with a small group of 4 people. I like her as she has a great personality that I haven't really seen before, and, of course, I think she's pretty cute. :blush:

    Anywho, just my luck, she already likes someone. We talk about him some when we're together, but they aren't actually in a relationship together. Compared to other people I've seen her hang out with, she treats me differently (at least to me, and I could be wrong). Good sign, right? ^_^

    Well, she also sees me as a bro. So, whoopty-do there.

    So, here's where I need the advice:
    I'd like to let her know (or give her the inclination) that I like her, but I really don't want to ruin what she has going with the other guy she likes. I care about her too much. Plus, that would dramatically shift our friendship if I just blatantly tell her.

    I think that I should just wait and see what happens and just keep being a good friend... hoping that the other guy just happens to not be for her (in which case I would tell her how I feel).
    Do you think that's a good plan?
     
    Last edited by Wellington2k, Jan 27, 2016
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  2. dragonmaster

    dragonmaster THE WALKER

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    IN one word no , i ve happened to be one of the cool guys with many girls in my company in university and many frieds having feelings but not letting them know and at the end loosing them. just say what you feel and be clear they cant sense you if you dont talk ,you may loose them but it is better than believing in a false dream
     
  3. Wellington2k
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    Wellington2k DO YOU HAS?

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    See, I would agree with that, except that I know for a fact that she likes someone else. Saying how I feel now pretty much is a 99% failure. And if it fails, then I have only a short time of friendship as a safety net, and I don't think a month is enough to hold this friendship up after something like that.
     
  4. Jack_Sparrow

    Jack_Sparrow Ruthless Pirate

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    I'm in school right now, and like three girls have asked me to go out with them in like the past week.
    I said no to all of them
     
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  5. Wellington2k
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    Wellington2k DO YOU HAS?

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    ...thank you for letting me know? That's not really advice, though.
     
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  6. Jack_Sparrow

    Jack_Sparrow Ruthless Pirate

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    Lol sorry
     
  7. sarkwalvein

    sarkwalvein Professional asshole at GBATemp

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    I think he meant he was waiting for you. At least turn him down the right way.
     
  8. Wellington2k
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    Wellington2k DO YOU HAS?

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    Ah, sorry @Jack_Sparrow I'm just really stressed out with finals right and didn't think straight.
     
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  9. Jack_Sparrow

    Jack_Sparrow Ruthless Pirate

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    It's cool man
     
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  10. TotalInsanity4

    TotalInsanity4 GBAtemp Supreme Overlord

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    Yes, I do. Think of it this way; if they fall out, then you have a chance with her and you will have learned a lot about her in the meantime. If they really hit it off and have a lifelong relationship, then you have potentially gained a great friend who has found somebody that she is truly happy with. Either way you "win", you just don't get the girl in one situation
     
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  11. Santaros

    Santaros GBAtemp Regular

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    Honestly people decide pretty quickly whether they are interested or not and it sounds like you've been friend-zoned. I hate to say it but Dragon is probably right on this one, tell her how you feel and see what happens this may mean having to stop talking to her, or accept that your chances are poor, friends is as far as it's likely to go & invest yourself less. Ask yourself if standing on the sidelines getting butthurt over things beyond your control is a position you really want to be in.
     
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  12. cvskid

    cvskid GBAtemp Addict

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    If there is no wedding ring on her finger then it's fair game. :tpi:
     
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  13. Hells Malice

    Hells Malice Are you a bully?

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    Well you've got two options and neither is a 100% win.

    You ask her out and hope she accepts, or
    You accept being friends and let her probably be snatched up by the other dude or someone else.


    Asking her out is a lot better than just throwing down your feelings. It's still possible to keep a friendship after that if you can accept the rejection. Most of the time.
    Playing the waiting game doesn't really do you any favours in terms of actually getting her as your girl.
     
  14. tofast4u

    tofast4u GBAtemp Fan

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    Forget about her, if she's talking to you about another guy she clearly has no interests for you and won't develop interests for you. If you keep going and try to get with her she might find it annoying and push you aside. You can't tell her that you like her unless you know she likes you back, which clearly she doesn't so if you do tell her that she'll disappear the next second as well.
    The best you can do is stop being her friend if you have feelings for her because that's just unhealthy, and move on to find another girl.
     
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  15. TotalInsanity4

    TotalInsanity4 GBAtemp Supreme Overlord

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    That's not necessarily true, girls are weird about who they'll talk about and with who.

    @Wellington2k On that tangent, you should actually probably be getting advice from an actual female lol. Try talking to other friends or see if someone graces this thread

    @starly, maybe you could come out of the woodwork for a bit and help him?
     
  16. Seita

    Seita GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    The worst thing is when a girl zone-friends you and you want more. It's better to say what you feel clearly and if she doesn't respond positively, just move on without second thought. I know it's harder being said than done but you never wanna fall in the unrequited love or friend zone. It's the worst for you.
    There are more girls waiting for you out there. The thing is, they are almost always waiting for you to take the initiative and read their signs. Girls are more likely to give hints than say things straightforward.
    Good luck ;)
     
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  17. starly

    starly Member

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    oh boy actual female here who is currently in a relationship after 3 long years of being the "other girl"
    lemme tell you that yes, girls can like 2 guys at one time and show a preference, but that doesn't always mean that the other person doesn't have a chance
    the best way (in my opinion) is to be there for her, continue talking to her about the other guy if she wants, help her through it and maybe help her sort out her feelings. taking time is not alway a bad thing, I was kinda in this exact situation (my current boyfriend went to me for his past relationship problems)
    no matter what it's not going to be for sure, and even if things don't pan out being friends with a wonderful girl is still pretty great

    i suppose i could elaborate if there were any new developments
     
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  18. cvskid

    cvskid GBAtemp Addict

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    Maybe it's just me, but why would a guy want to sit with a girl he likes, just to hear her talk about another guy right in front of his face?
     
  19. TheKawaiiDesu

    TheKawaiiDesu Ball of Kawaiiness

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  20. starly

    starly Member

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    @cvskid because life isn't always fair and romantic relationships aren't always end game and the most important? Friendships are important too, even if you happen to like them