Relations in a gamer's family

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by ibis_87, Jan 14, 2011.

  1. ibis_87

    ibis_87 GBAtemp Fan

    Jan 11, 2009
    Serbia, Republic of
    Hi, everyone!

    Would appreciate it, if anyone could give a piece of advice on the following situation. Opinions are also appreciated [​IMG]

    It's about my relations with my current GF and the future wife [​IMG]

    You see, I'm a gamer (no surprise since I post here, but still). By "gamer" I don't mean "maniac gamer". I normally play for just a couple of hours a day, maybe 4 in the weekend, when I really has nothing to do. I don't waste thousands of bucks on this, so my personal budget doesn't really SUFFER from this. As a result, I'm graduating from a good college this year and already have a very decent job by my country's standarts. I'm not bragging, just want to show I'm not some wierdo, gone mad during endless gaming nights. The only possibly odd thing about me loving games is that I tend to collect consoles, especially hendhelds. But again, it's not a room full of gaming stuff, all can be fit in a TV stand.

    And yet, my GF doesn't stand my hobby. Keeps saying it's "childish". As you might expect, the last game she saw was Doom, and the last game actually played - SMB on the NES.I tried my best to prove the opposite - showed complex RPGs, explained, how it worked, how modern games are made, how all this is a serious industry, expensive stuff for people who can affor it, offered to play a Wii or a DS together etc. All in vain. The problem is, an average gamer in my country is a teen of 12-13, playing some dumb shooter on his home PC, and gaming is still seen as a low-level entertainment for kids, not a serious industry.

    Of course, I love her and can just give up gaming. But there's one thing about it. I don't smoke, drink heavily, use drugs or go to see a football much with my pals every weekend. I'm a very family guy. So gaming is actually the only way for me to get rid of stress quickly and efficiently. I do have other hobbies, of course, but they don't give that much in terms of stress release.

    Now as we just date, it's not a real problem - "don't ask, don't tell". But we'll gonna get married in summer, and I really start to worry, as avery time she sees me with a gaming device, she gets upset. Of course, I can't just stick to a "shut up, woman!" stance, but I love her and don't want to.

    So... What would you do? [​IMG]
  2. craplame

    craplame GBAtemp Regular

    Sep 16, 2010
    United States
    I don't see why she thinks it's childish. Maybe you should let her play some video games, and she'll become a gamer. You can tell it it helps you relax.
  3. CarbonX13

    CarbonX13 GBAtemp 台灣人

    Aug 27, 2010
    Vancouver, B.C.
    Take more initiative, get her to join in with you in a quick fun, more 'casual' game. If she truly likes you, she'll eventually have to sympathize and join in, and perhaps develop an enjoyment in gaming too. Sometimes you've got to take risks like these to get any progress.
  4. Julian Sidewind

    Julian Sidewind GBAtemp Regular

    May 17, 2009
    Tell her this.
  5. rainwhore

    rainwhore Advanced Member

    Jan 31, 2008
    I don't think you should get her to 'join' you in gaming - from what you're saying, it sounds like she has no interest in the topic. However, considering you're about to get married... well, sit her down, and explain that this is something that makes you happy/de-stresses you, and that you don't want to upset her - but don't feel you should stop based on her preconceptions.

    Try drawing parallels with some TV show she likes, or some soaps?

    If she truly loves you she'll get it, and will be ok with it. DON'T expect her to join you, and DON'T turn on your console/handheld in the middle of a conversation! [​IMG]
  6. Depravo


    Global Moderator
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    Oct 13, 2008
    Kill her and blame Rockstar's latest game.

    She should love you for what you are and gaming is part of what you are. Tell her to accept your hobby or leave. It might seem harsh now but one way or another it will save you from a world of strife and misery in the long run.
  7. Coto


    Jun 4, 2010
    Uhm... if you say you´re not wasting like 14 hours on gaming, but just some hours, then your girlfriend will have to get that sooner or later. Those moments if aren´t shared, then at least be private.

    Now tell me.. why would she stop shopping because you hate that? (most men hate that..)

    It´s simple. You can´t deny something like that to her, as she can´t deny that to you.

    As long as both of you respect their private hobbies I guess there shouldn´t be problems
  8. TheTwoR's

    TheTwoR's Yay I can finally edit this thingy :D

    Aug 5, 2010
    Invite her to play Kirby's Epic Yarn with you [​IMG]
    If that doesn't work, try NSMB Wii [​IMG]
  9. Ritsuki


    Mar 15, 2008
    If you're getting married, I think she likes you enough to overcome it, no ? But do not forget to do some activities with her. She mustn't have the impression that you spend more time with your consoles than with her. If you want, you can still try to initiate her, but if she doesn't like it, meh. You're two different persons, it's normal to have different hobbies.
  10. ibis_87

    ibis_87 GBAtemp Fan

    Jan 11, 2009
    Serbia, Republic of
    Wow, thank you, guys! So many people replied, that's really kind!

    I tried to get her into gaming. But it doesn't help. When I power up the Wii and launch something casual, she plays for 20 minutes and seemingly has fun, but then again just thinks gaming is all about cute Kirbys hopping around cute environments, i.e. childish. The same with Nintendogs, I tried. When I power up my PS3 and launch Oblivion, she doesn't understand a thing and leaves.

    Yep, she loves me, it's not a situation when a person says "either you give up this or that, or I leave". It just upsets the person I love. For no good reason. I tried to explain, no luck.

    The problem is funny in a way. I believe all of this comes from her desire of a model family. You know, in the meaning of "socially approved by surrounding people" Like when you walk out of you house and everyone says: "Look, it's A and B! They are such a nice family!" Except for gaming, I can be more or less fit in the stereotype image of "a good young husband" Gaming just spoils the image in her eyes. So she puts up with it, but easily gets upset as soon as she sees a gaming device in my hands.

    So I just don't know how to explain a person there's nothing retarded about being a reasonable gamer when you're 23 and not 12.