Post your best terrible pun(s)

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by zeldafan20081, Oct 23, 2015.

?

Do you regret wandering into this thread?

  1. Yes

    14.3%
  2. No

    38.1%
  3. Well, you succeeded. I facepalmed myself. You win.

    23.8%
  4. I need more faces to palm. Mine wasn't enough.

    14.3%
  5. Why am I still here on this thread?

    9.5%
  1. zeldafan20081
    OP

    zeldafan20081 Advanced Member

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    I'm kind of bored and on a terrible pun-spree today. I've made at least five people facepalm themselves and am hoping to increase that number by the end of the night.

    So, here's a couple of mine and they have backstories based on occurrence, ranging from a few moments ago to a few hours ago.

    The first one. This one happened a few hours ago.
    I was at college sitting in the coffee shop within our cafeteria that our college leases to one of the local franchises.

    One of the employees and I were talking. She was talking about how her dad sells scales, ranging from scales people weigh themselves with to scales made to weigh trucks.
    I looked her straight in the eyes and told her, "It sounds like he has a lot of... WEIGHT on his shoulders!"

    The next one happened about three minutes ago. My younger brother is playing Halo 4 on his XBox One.
    He's telling me about the Forerunners.
    I know barely anything about Halo (I'm still playing Halo: CE), so I interrupted his spoilers (he has a bad habit of spoiling almost every game I want to/am currently playing) and told him "Forerunners: They were running 'fore you could walk!"
    He didn't like that too much. I succeeded in shutting his spoilers up.

    So yeah, commence the facepalming and sharing of your terrible, heartwarming, ragequit-inducing puns of terror.
     
    Last edited by zeldafan20081, Oct 23, 2015


  2. TheGrayShow1467

    TheGrayShow1467 屈折

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    Humpty Dumpty had a shitty summer.
    But he had a great fall :3
     
  3. ComeTurismO

    ComeTurismO CTO

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    4:54 PM
    Someone just took a shit.
    Sounds like a shitty situation.
    The Germans in WW2 were not nice.
    I did nazi that coming.
     
  4. TotalInsanity4

    TotalInsanity4 GBAtemp Supreme Overlord

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    Call now, and when you buy both the protons AND the electrons, we'll go right ahead and ship you neutrons ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE!!
     
  5. Catastrophic

    Catastrophic Perfectly Normal

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    Why did the tomato start speeding up?

    Because he needed to ketchup.
     
  6. WiiU

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    What do you get if you mix a kangaroo and a sheep. A woolly jumper. :rofl:
     
  7. Haloman800

    Haloman800 a real gril

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    I have a whole video I made a few years back of nothing but puns, here ya go
     
  8. Jao Chu

    Jao Chu GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

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    "There will only be 7 planets left after i destroy Uranus"

    "I heard you're failing school getting bad grades? So this D won't make a difference"

    "Do you like dragons? Because in a minute I'll be dragon my balls across your face"

    "Are you a Jehovahs Witness? Because I'm about to bend Jahovah so you can Witness this D*ck"

    "Do you like Tapes and CD's? Because I'm gonna tape my d*ck to your forehead so you can CDs nuts"

    Oh rape sloth, your memes are so hilarious but they shouldn't be!
     
    Last edited by Jao Chu, Oct 23, 2015 - Reason: Missed a word
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  9. BurningDesire

    BurningDesire GBAtemp Psycho!

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    Behind a screen reading news
    My sides :rofl:
     
  10. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    I forgot
    Warning: Spoilers inside!

    You're welcome
     
  11. VinsCool

    VinsCool Comfortably Numb

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    "There was a blind guy walking in a bar, then a chair, then a table..."
     
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    Voxel Fable Junkie

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    What do you get when you cross a Voxel Studios with a GBAtemp 3DS section?

    A CIA on 9.9 thread! :rofl2:
     
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  13. loco365

    loco365 GBAtemp Guru

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  14. Sheimi

    Sheimi A cute Vixen!

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    Now you have two bundles of joy...
     
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  15. Vipera

    Vipera Banned

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    Away from this shithole
    "Knock knock"

    "Who's there?"

    "Sex"

    "I don't get it"

    "I know you don't."
     
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  16. zeldafan20081
    OP

    zeldafan20081 Advanced Member

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    Your default picture and pun reminded me of this.
    If it doesn't already start at 42 seconds, skip to it.
     
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  17. Lilith Valentine

    Lilith Valentine GBATemp's Wolfdog™ Cuddle lesbian derp

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    Between insane and insecure
    Enough gay jokes! Cum on guys!
     
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  18. Bubsy Bobcat

    Bubsy Bobcat halloween peener

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    You joined in 2008 and you're still a newcomer?
    I guess you're not really the post of the town are you?
     
  19. TotalInsanity4

    TotalInsanity4 GBAtemp Supreme Overlord

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    I was going to make a gay joke, butt fuck it
     
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  20. VinsCool

    VinsCool Comfortably Numb

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    I was dumping some data, but it failed.

    So I had to take a dump twice in 10 minutes :(
     
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