Official Aperture Laboratories Portal Cake cake mix

[Veho]

Feeling peckish? All that hard work hampering the progress of science left you with a niggling hunger in that not inconsiderable gut of yours? It's hard work, being a stubborn wrench in people's plans, isn't it? Not that you have the mental capacity to actually do any of that on purpose, but somehow your mere presence is enough to throw the best laid plans to waste. You're just clumsily bumbling around through Brownian motion, like some random particle. A big, fat, stupid, aggravating infuriating particle

Sorry about that, folks. Anyway, the lie can now become delicious and moist reality, with the official Aperture Laboratories Cake Mix. For those of us who dread the dark alchemy of pastry baking, the cake is finally within reach. And this one is supposed to be "official", so you finally have a chance to see what the original is supposed to taste like (the fan fascimiles are mostly of the Schwarzwald variety or thereabout). Based on other cake mixes, it tastes like baking soda and cardboard. And E412. Still makes a neat present for the Portal fanatic in your life (which may well be yourself). If nothing else, you get the official box to keep on your shelf. Neat.



Buy it here.

Source.

 

[Deleted User]

WANT!

But 40€ in Germany is a little too much in my oppinion http://www.amazon.de/Portal-KUCHEN-Chocolate-Cherry-Cake/dp/B00C7D4H4S/

 

[Rydian]

I can imagine people buying that just to have the box on display.

 

[Gahars]

I can see the fans now, coming at the stores like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows.

You'll be screaming, "No! No! No!" and all they hear is, "Who wants cake?"

Let me tell you something. They all do. They all want cake.

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

I can see the fans now, coming at the stores like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows.

You'll be screaming, "No! No! No!" and all they hear is, "Who wants cake?"

Let me tell you something. They all do. They all want cake.

The cake is a lie.


OH GOD GUYS WHAT IF THIS IS A LIE. WHAT IF THIS IS ALL AN ELABORATE RUSE TO TRY AND GET US TO BUY EXPENSIVE CAKE MIX.

 

[Devin]

I'd get one to eat, and the other to keep on display. Anyone find a US seller?

 

[Litagano Motscoud]

The cake is a lie.


OH GOD GUYS WHAT IF THIS IS A LIE. WHAT IF THIS IS ALL AN ELABORATE RUSE TO TRY AND GET US TO BUY EXPENSIVE CAKE MIX.

Don't be silly. GLaDOS herself said the cake wasn't a lie.

 

[BORTZ]

That is... so... much... cake. And its all a lie.

 

[The Real Jdbye]

I'm not sure I would eat anything that comes out of Aperture Laboratories. This is pretty cool though.

 

[Xuphor]

Uh.....

Avoid the cake. It's ridiculously expensive and a massive gimmick. Despite the fact that the cake is not a lie, the cake is a massive lie. Let me re-iterate that: there is no cake in the box.

Would not reccomend. I opened up the packet and all that was inside was a piece of paper informing that the cake is, in fact, still a lie.

And also just a con so you think your get a cake mix just to make said cake when in fact it is a big fat lie this should be taken down right away.
You think amazon would check with their sales before let sell anything

Watch out people..... I was thinking of buying one, but I'm not gonna buy this when there might not be anything but a piece of paper in the box....

 

[Devin]

There a are tons of mixed reviews. Some saying cake, other no cake. I wonder what's really inside, but at that terrible price I'm not willing to risk it for a box.

 

[Janthran]

[@member:Sora De Eclaune]

 

[Devin]

Ain't no tags Jan since Xenforo.

 

[Nathan Drake]

Guys, listen: there is a little something that is considered very illegal, I'm assuming most everywhere, called false advertising. Profiting from such an act likely wouldn't go over well. There are a number of rather frank reviews that don't try to be funny that do say that there is cake mix in the box, so there you go. If it's up you alley, buy it. If not, don't worry about it.

Note: Apparently the cake mix is actually fairly decent for being a fan object.

 

[Xuphor]

Guys, listen: there is a little something that is considered very illegal, I'm assuming most everywhere, called false advertising. Profiting from such an act likely wouldn't go over well. There are a number of rather frank reviews that don't try to be funny that do say that there is cake mix in the box, so there you go. If it's up you alley, buy it. If not, don't worry about it.

Note: Apparently the cake mix is actually fairly decent for being a fan object.

Not one of the people that say there is a cake in the box sounds serious to me. I don't just mean a positive review, they have to also directly say there is a cake in the box. Not one of them sounds serious, and makes a stupid Portal joke ontop of it. Meanwhile the people that say there is no cake in the box, a number of them make no jokes whatsoever.

This just still seems fishy.

 

[Nathan Drake]

Not one of the people that say there is a cake in the box sounds serious to me. I don't just mean a positive review, they have to also directly say there is a cake in the box. Not one of them sounds serious, and makes a stupid Portal joke ontop of it. Meanwhile the people that say there is no cake in the box, a number of them make no jokes whatsoever.

This just still seems fishy.

How do a couple of the reviews that don't make any jokes and flat out say that the product is as listed seem like jokes? I mean, really? I feel like you're just looking for a reason not to buy it at this point. Really, if you don't want it, don't buy it. If you do, 99% of the novelty is the box anyways. Whether you spend a stupid amount of money on adequate cake mix and a box or just the box, you're still paying a stupid amount of money for something even cake mix related.

 

[Xuphor]

I feel like you're just looking for a reason not to buy it at this point.

At ~$20 for a cake mix, that alone is reason not to buy it.
My money is really really freaking tight, if I'm going to spend $20 on a cake mix, it better be in there, and not a joke.

But really though, this threads gives me a great idea.... I'll share my idea tomorrow, I think.

 

[DSoryu]

This thread just makes me want to eat a big slice of lie so badly D:

 

[Veho]

Not one of the people that say there is a cake in the box sounds serious to me. I don't just mean a positive review, they have to also directly say there is a cake in the box.

This review says there's a cake in the box.

First of all. This is not a fake. I bought one and can tell you it contains an actual cake. And a pretty decent one - at least for a Cake Mix.
I think it's a very funny Idea. The package alone is hilarious.

And it makes a fun present for friends who liked the game.

Also there's this article on NBC News:

Despite the cheeky chicanery of this Amazon UK missive, sources at Valve Corporation, which makes "Portal," confirmed that this is indeed a verifiable cake mix inspired by the game company's acclaimed puzzle shooter.

"The Portal cake mix linked below is really cake mix! No jokes!" Valve's Arsenio Navarro told NBC News.

While fans and cosplayers have been making their own home-brewed versions of the video game's iconic dessert since the game was first released in 2007, Navarro said that this first officially "licensed Portal cake mix was created by Valve merchandise licensee Gaya Entertainment based over in Germany." The cake mix is currently only available to Amazon UK customers, but he added that it will eventually become available internationally.

There's a trend of writing joke reviews on Amazon, and there's also a compulsion to make cake jokes whenever Portal is mentioned (the compulsion is the stronger the duller the person in question is), so when people have to write a review on Amazon about a Portal related product (the cake, no less), the results can only be disastrous.

 

[nukeboy95]

why buy when the recipe is here
http://theportalwiki.com/wiki/Core_voice_lines (see cake core)