Official Aperture Laboratories Portal Cake cake mix

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by Veho, Apr 24, 2013.

  1. Veho
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    Veho The man who cried "Ni".

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    Feeling peckish? All that hard work hampering the progress of science left you with a niggling hunger in that not inconsiderable gut of yours? It's hard work, being a stubborn wrench in people's plans, isn't it? Not that you have the mental capacity to actually do any of that on purpose, but somehow your mere presence is enough to throw the best laid plans to waste. You're just clumsily bumbling around through Brownian motion, like some random particle. A big, fat, stupid, aggravating infuriating particle

    Sorry about that, folks. Anyway, the lie can now become delicious and moist reality, with the official Aperture Laboratories Cake Mix. For those of us who dread the dark alchemy of pastry baking, the cake is finally within reach. And this one is supposed to be "official", so you finally have a chance to see what the original is supposed to taste like (the fan fascimiles are mostly of the Schwarzwald variety or thereabout). Based on other cake mixes, it tastes like baking soda and cardboard. And E412. Still makes a neat present for the Portal fanatic in your life (which may well be yourself). If nothing else, you get the official box to keep on your shelf. Neat.



    Buy it here.

    Source.
     
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  2. ollepoll

    ollepoll GBAtemp Regular

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  3. nukeboy95
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  4. Tom Bombadildo
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  6. Rydian

    Rydian Resident Furvert™

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    I can imagine people buying that just to have the box on display.
     
  7. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    I can see the fans now, coming at the stores like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows.

    You'll be screaming, "No! No! No!" and all they hear is, "Who wants cake?"

    Let me tell you something. They all do. They all want cake.
     
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  8. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    I forgot
    The cake is a lie.


    OH GOD GUYS WHAT IF THIS IS A LIE. WHAT IF THIS IS ALL AN ELABORATE RUSE TO TRY AND GET US TO BUY EXPENSIVE CAKE MIX.
     
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  9. Devin

    Devin "Local Hardware Wizard"

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    I'd get one to eat, and the other to keep on display. Anyone find a US seller?
     
  10. Litagano Motscoud

    Litagano Motscoud Member

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    Don't be silly. GLaDOS herself said the cake wasn't a lie.
     
  11. BORTZ

    BORTZ "Another stunning Van Gogh"

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    That is... so... much... cake. And its all a lie.
     
  12. The Real Jdbye

    The Real Jdbye Always Remember 30/07/08

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    I'm not sure I would eat anything that comes out of Aperture Laboratories. This is pretty cool though.
     
  13. Xuphor

    Xuphor I have lied to all of you. I am deeply sorry.

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    Uh.....
    Watch out people..... I was thinking of buying one, but I'm not gonna buy this when there might not be anything but a piece of paper in the box....
     
  14. Devin

    Devin "Local Hardware Wizard"

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    There a are tons of mixed reviews. Some saying cake, other no cake. I wonder what's really inside, but at that terrible price I'm not willing to risk it for a box.
     
  15. Janthran

    Janthran Solarian

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  16. Devin

    Devin "Local Hardware Wizard"

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    Ain't no tags Jan since Xenforo.
     
  17. Nathan Drake

    Nathan Drake Obligations fulfilled, now I depart.

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    Guys, listen: there is a little something that is considered very illegal, I'm assuming most everywhere, called false advertising. Profiting from such an act likely wouldn't go over well. There are a number of rather frank reviews that don't try to be funny that do say that there is cake mix in the box, so there you go. If it's up you alley, buy it. If not, don't worry about it.

    Note: Apparently the cake mix is actually fairly decent for being a fan object.
     
  18. Xuphor

    Xuphor I have lied to all of you. I am deeply sorry.

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    Not one of the people that say there is a cake in the box sounds serious to me. I don't just mean a positive review, they have to also directly say there is a cake in the box. Not one of them sounds serious, and makes a stupid Portal joke ontop of it. Meanwhile the people that say there is no cake in the box, a number of them make no jokes whatsoever.

    This just still seems fishy.
     
  19. Nathan Drake

    Nathan Drake Obligations fulfilled, now I depart.

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    How do a couple of the reviews that don't make any jokes and flat out say that the product is as listed seem like jokes? I mean, really? I feel like you're just looking for a reason not to buy it at this point. Really, if you don't want it, don't buy it. If you do, 99% of the novelty is the box anyways. Whether you spend a stupid amount of money on adequate cake mix and a box or just the box, you're still paying a stupid amount of money for something even cake mix related.
     
  20. Xuphor

    Xuphor I have lied to all of you. I am deeply sorry.

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    At ~$20 for a cake mix, that alone is reason not to buy it.
    My money is really really freaking tight, if I'm going to spend $20 on a cake mix, it better be in there, and not a joke.

    But really though, this threads gives me a great idea.... I'll share my idea tomorrow, I think.
     
  21. Dartz150

    Dartz150 GBATemp Official Lolicon Onii-chan™

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    This thread just makes me want to eat a big slice of lie so badly D:
     
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  22. Veho
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    Veho The man who cried "Ni".

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    This review says there's a cake in the box.


    Also there's this article on NBC News:

    There's a trend of writing joke reviews on Amazon, and there's also a compulsion to make cake jokes whenever Portal is mentioned (the compulsion is the stronger the duller the person in question is), so when people have to write a review on Amazon about a Portal related product (the cake, no less), the results can only be disastrous.
     
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  23. nukeboy95

    nukeboy95 Leave luck to heaven.

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