Newspaper funnies

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by jumpman17, Sep 19, 2006.

Sep 19, 2006

Newspaper funnies by jumpman17 at 4:11 AM (823 Views / 0 Likes) 3 replies

  1. jumpman17

    Former Staff jumpman17 He's a semi-aquatic egg laying mammal of action!

    Apr 11, 2003
    United States
    I love reading the "Dear Whats-her-face" articles simply because I always get a good laugh from the high drama people have. "Oh please help me. My neighbors have a noisy dog and refuse to do anything about it, how can I tell them to take a shotgun to it's face to quiet it without hurting their feelings?"

    So our newspaper has 2 of these columns, one directly underneath the other.

    Read the first letter on each column. Go ahead, I'll wait.

    Dear Annie
    Dear Abby

    Now, is it just me or are these 2 people the same husband and wife?

    Look at the amazing similarities mentioned in both letters:
    1) Both in healthy condition.
    2) Get along better now then ever.
    3) Husband wants to take wife to a nude beach or resort.
    4) Husband wants to go to the beach now before they get any older.
    5) Wife comes from a religious background.
    6) Husband says it's not an exhibition thing.
    7) "Making love in the forest alongside a mountain stream" (the other says beside instead of alongside but the quote is identical)
    8) Husband says it's about enjoying nature.

    The only difference between the 2 articles is the first says they are in their 40s while the second one says late 30s.

    I don't know, I just found this hilarious that Annie would answer the husband and Abby would answer the wife on the same day.
  2. mthrnite

    Former Staff mthrnite So it goes.

    Jun 30, 2006
    th' south
    United States
    Ha, it sounds like they were having a dry week and had to resort to one of those "what would you do" books for some fake write-ins, just happened to fall on the same page. I especially liked Abby's second letter:

    Dear Abby,
    Our stalker neighbors wait in the bushes until we get home and leap to the doorbell as soon as we're in and sitting comfortably. What should we do?

    Dear Trapped,
    When they come by, don't let them in. Spit on their shoes, tell them to piss-off and chant "we don't like you" over and over until they get the hint and leave.

    (I love this kinda crap too!)
  3. Orc

    Member Orc ‎(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

    Feb 10, 2006
    Hong Kong
    My mom used to do that kind of column in a local newspaper for fun other than her managerial editing jobs. I remember one being pretty f'ed up with a mother asking what she should do after being drunk with her son and having sex with him. [​IMG] I was pretty shocked reading that when I was in Grade 5, since I always browsed/read my mom's columns. I'll try to ask her if she still has copies of those shit.

    Something I saw on the local newspaper weeks ago though was an ad here for I think either a cellphone network or an ISP.
    In the picture theres a mother and daughter sitting beside each other by the dinner table with the caption:
    "Sabi ni nanay, walang libre sa buhay, pero sa download meron."
    TRANSLATION: "Mother says that there's nothing free in life, but with downloads there are."

    Dunno, first thing that came in to my mind was ZOMG TORRENTS and "Great, they're advertising piracy now."
  4. shaunj66

    Administrator shaunj66 Administrator

    Oct 24, 2002
    South England
    United Kingdom
    Haha that's a pretty funny "coincidence" jumpman. [​IMG]

    It must be a joke... It seems a bit far fetched that both letters would get published the same day even if they were genuine.

    But anyway, if you think these articles are bad, you obviously haven't read our good old Daily Sport's agony aunt page. There's some sick stuff in there sometimes I tell you!

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