My fat cousin won't run!

R2DJ

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response to someone getting mad at the unstoppable hordes of "______ won't run threads".

I haz problemz wif ma cousin.
 

TrolleyDave

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Have you thought of the old sweet attached to a stick attached to a fat guys head hack? I think you might need to be on Fatware 3.2E though.
 

R2DJ

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TrolleyDave said:
Have you thought of the old sweet attached to a stick attached to a fat guys head hack? I think you might need to be on Fatware 3.2E though.
Fatware isn't upgradable though. I don't want to feel his sweaty skin.
 

Linkiboy

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You have to downgrade his fatware. It's expensive, a release group called "plastic surgeons" made a downgrade though
 

R2DJ

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Linkiboy said:
You have to downgrade his fatware. It's expensive, a release group called "plastic surgeons" made a downgrade though
No expensive suggestions pl0ckkkkks
 

TrolleyDave

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Well as you're in the UK you could use the PAL Bat Mod. Crack him across the jaw with a cricket bat causing it to break, which then means that it has to be wired. You can use one of our many "body technician buildings", known as Hospitals to the layman, free of charge.
 

R2DJ

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TrolleyDave said:
Well as you're in the UK you could use the PAL Bat Mod. Crack him across the jaw with a cricket bat causing it to break, which then means that it has to be wired. You can use one of our many "body technician buildings", known as Hospitals to the layman, free of charge.
Where can I find it?

The only alternative I can find for a bat is a cue stick...
 

TrolleyDave

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R2DJ said:
TrolleyDave said:
Well as you're in the UK you could use the PAL Bat Mod. Crack him across the jaw with a cricket bat causing it to break, which then means that it has to be wired. You can use one of our many "body technician buildings", known as Hospitals to the layman, free of charge.
Where can I find it?

The only alternative I can find for a bat is a cue stick...

That's just as suitable of a hack tool, it may take two or three attempts before the hack is successful though. Still, half the fun in hacking is the attempt to get it right.
 

R2DJ

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TrolleyDave said:
R2DJ said:
TrolleyDave said:
Well as you're in the UK you could use the PAL Bat Mod. Crack him across the jaw with a cricket bat causing it to break, which then means that it has to be wired. You can use one of our many "body technician buildings", known as Hospitals to the layman, free of charge.
Where can I find it?

The only alternative I can find for a bat is a cue stick...

That's just as suitable of a hack tool, it may take two or three attempts before the hack is successful though. Still, half the fun in hacking is the attempt to get it right.
OK I'm gonna try it right now. He's asleep right now. It's hard to wake him up. Not even a town explosion would wake him up.
 

TrolleyDave

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R2DJ said:
TrolleyDave said:
R2DJ said:
TrolleyDave said:
Well as you're in the UK you could use the PAL Bat Mod. Crack him across the jaw with a cricket bat causing it to break, which then means that it has to be wired. You can use one of our many "body technician buildings", known as Hospitals to the layman, free of charge.
Where can I find it?

The only alternative I can find for a bat is a cue stick...

That's just as suitable of a hack tool, it may take two or three attempts before the hack is successful though. Still, half the fun in hacking is the attempt to get it right.
OK I'm gonna try it right now. He's asleep right now. It's hard to wake him up. Not even a town explosion would wake him up.

If he lacks a firewall he'll be much easier to hack.
 

R2DJ

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Ducky said:
Does he work on pal?
Yup. But because he's Asian, the NHS considers him a Japanese import.

UPDATE: He had a very secure firewall so when I touched him, an alarm rang very mad. It was too loud that even the rats from my neighbours' house came in and complained.

I told him if we can go jogging round the block today but he said "It's sunny". To him, if there's a sun, it's always summer. The cold breeze NEVER gets into his flabs.
 

R2DJ

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UPDATE 2: He slapped me for not giving him tuna instead of pizza. That slap left a mark on my face. It still hurts.
 

R2DJ

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BortzANATOR said:
Do you have the changelog for Update 2?
Everything is inside him... patches, changelogs, update button, etc. The only thing outside is the food input.
EDIT: It's coming out. Might take long. It's not the only thing that's gonna come out.
 

R2DJ

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The changelog


Author: Beeg Velly Mahn
Date: 7 February 2009 20:09:43

Fatware version 8.8.80.88

commit: TUNA
return action: SLAP_HUMAN
subject: "R2DJ"

commit: rehash segment AR_M after cache in the area B_LLY is cleared. After cache is cleared the action SLAP_HUMAN must be committed so the target person will experience inhuman pain. However, this process will take up a lot of memory (2 GB) which can only be resolved with a fatware upgrade.

Test results:

SLAP - Ouch!!___LOL
repair > brain/memory/life/sync_action

Tested by: T4P3W0RMZ
 

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