Recently I've been packing a few pounds and grew some man boobs. The thing is I don't eat more than before and I exercise quiet a bit. I wanted to see my doctor and ask him if I was ok physically and described my situation to him. He first told me that I was cute like a penis, I didn't know weather to be afraid or amused. Next thing he asked me if I masturbate alot. I asked "Pardon?" He said: "Well you know, jerkin' the gherkin, slammin' the ham, beatin' the bishop, cuffin' the pup, buffin' the bayonette, polishing your stinger, waxin' the dolphin, polishing the chrome, jerk off, jack off, whack off, pull off, beat off, fist fuck, pound the pud, flog yer dong, wringing out yer rope, drain the monster, crown the king, milkin' the lizard, wrestling the eel, snappin' the monkey, and knurkin' yer throbber" I stopped him immediately: "Whoa, that's enough... how did you know?" He said: "Well, it's a hypothesis. Through masturbation you loose alot of testosterone and therefore the body is dominated by estrogen and thus you grow feminine features. Hold on, let me check if it's real..." He reached for my man boobs and groped it in such a sexual way that I couldn't help but... "Ahhh..." I let out a deliciously sexy moan. "The hell did you do that for?" I asked, feeling violated. "M'boy... I mean M'girl, you are right now 2 and a half centimeters too long, we're gonna have to get rid of your inch long shlong." "What? You can't do that!? I still masturbate to pictures of Hilary Clinton! I'm a REAL MAN!" "There's your fucking problem, her uber sexiness has drugged you, you need to slow down and limit it to twice a day or less and then the testosterone level will come back to normal and you'll be alright again. The doctor gave me a medically prescribed cockblock that bites me whenever I have dirty thoughts about Obama's future wife. t3h 3Nd! BTW, this is purely a fiction made for lulz.