Hi, Microsoft here with the Xenon Heater. Are you tired of shivering and sitting in the cold all the time? Then buy our expensive portable heaters! These heaters can burn your fucking face off! You can put it in front of a turkey and it instantly gets roasted. OMG! In a few minutes there will be a annoying number on your screen. Call that expensive not so helpful number and order 6 of our heaters! And we'll throw in some useless Zorbeez. What are Zorbees? You best be joking, Dumb piece of shit. Those fucking towels can help you overheat your heater even more! You'll probably need them after our heater burned your house down to the fucking ground. Because you'll spontaneously shit, piss and ejaculate in your pants! How do you piss and ejaculate at the same time? FUCK YOU, That's how! Call me now and I'll find a way to destroy all of your DVD's! You cannot stop the build in disc shredder because it also makes fruit shakes. I'm gonna jack off to some hardcore phone complaints so peace out nutcases. So call 1-800-MY-XBAWKS now and tell them BILLY MAYS HAS SENT YOU. THAT NUMBER AGAIN IS 1-800-MY-XBAWKS THAT'S ONE EIGHT ZERO ZERO MY XBAWKS MY XBAWKS!!!!!!!!! CALL NOW!