Micro short story.

[Issac]

Hi all!
I think I have shown this to you before, maybe not? However, there are so many new users here now anyway, so I might as well show it again.
I wrote a really really really short story one night. I just had this ultra flow and things kept coming from my head.

Now, When I wrote it, I made a few hidden things in it... or what it should be called. I'd like to hear your comments on this.. can you find anything "hidden" in it, references, or anything? How do you interpret the story? How do you interpret the style of the layout and colours and stuff.

What I really want is to get a nice discussion going, hopefully serious.
And I'd also like some comments on what you think, but not just "lol great" or "omg it suxxors" but also: WHY does it suck?

Last thing: I saved it as an image because those I was going to show it for couldn't view pdf files for some reason, nor word.. so it's not anything animated or such just so you know!

Spoiler

 

[Ace]

You've obviously been reading some Mark Z. Danielewski books, haven't you? This is so reminiscent of House of Leaves and Only Revolutions. The narration must be Johnny Truant-insipired...

Good to know another Temper has read his books.

Other than that, it seems pretty solid, if you're really going for that directionless-stream-of-consciousness-and-neo-ergodic-kind-of literal style that Johnny Truant (and Zampanò) commonly use.

 

[Issac]

Indeed I have read Mark Z. Danielewski's books

House of Leaves is my all time favourite.
However, I wasn't counciously inspired by his style... Though it turned out like this anyway

(In swedish: Jag var omedvetet inspirerad, tänkte inte på det då).

I really really recommend Steven Hall's book The Raw Shark Texts, available in Swedish and a huge selection of other languages... (And in your case: The Swedish translation is REALLY good, I have both the English and Swedish and it really captures the feel and has everything correctly translated.)
Even Z recommended this book on his myspace when it came out... and considering how Z is, that sure does say something

Well, I think this directionless-stream-of-consciousness-and-neo-ergodic is my style... I've tried to write more concise and "traditional" but I just can't. However, I wrote this at 4 a.m. took an hour, and every colour, each repetition, and even the directionlessness has a meaning

Some are more obvious than others

 

[monkat]

Twas a good use of fanciful text, and it was well written, but I'm not a big fan. Literature with the sole purpose of entertainment is not really my style.

 

[Issac]

Thanks for the comment monkat! To which extent do you consider a work of literature to have a sole purpose of entertainment?

Just curious! Do you prefer fact books and such?