Why do I feel so pathetic when I have strong feelings for a girl...not in my pants, well yeah in my pants BUT also elsewhere. Somewhere in the chest region. Not even sure if I wanna spill my guts but if anyone can help me I'm sure an internet gaming forum can....
In a nutshell she has an out of work boyfriend (how long he's been out of work, I dunno but at least 2 months) they've been together for a year, now she spends large chunks of her pay on him and funds his favorite nightly hobby. She tells me she's unhappy and stuff but also tells me she loves him. Well a couple of her friends+her bf and me get together for her b-day, we eat, hang out and stuff. By the end of the night I think the guy is pretty cool (the bf).
Now if I spill my guts in a smooth truthfull way
things might turn out pretty well for me, but is it fair to her bf? No, Do I even have a chance? Maybe? (i kinda get mixed messenges) All I really want is to become an option for her and just for her to decide. Thus I won't have to deal with the guilt of leaving a 39 yr old guy without a job AND alone (she's 20)
See I can't compromise my scruples/morals whenever it suits my selfish needs, or else there'd be no point in having them. I'd might as well become scum. This is why I don't steal, try my best to be honest, etc. I believe if I compromised my beliefs id be essentialy "killing myself" giving birth to a new me, a different "me" you know? That might be too deep for some of you, or perhaps I didn't take the time to explain it properly. Also I think how long I've gone without say...stealing, 20 years, and think I can't just throw all those years away (I'm 23, I still remember being knee high and holding my mom's hand while I walked out of a grocery store with a rubber toy plane thing with a cartoon rabbit pilot, lol I was chewing on it(I have photographic memory))...but enough of my self-righteous bs
Thing is for some stupid reason she seems so perfect, personality wise, yeah she's beutiful too but its like I don't have an interest in any other girl because of her...there a lot of hot girls around, some kinda flirty, but its like if I got to know them id hate them...compared to her. THIS is my REAL problem...I think.
God...am I in love with this girl or something? I'd hate to admit it...seeing as I've only known her for about a month (random convos during my break, (we work together) lots of texting etc) maybe I'm just pathetic? God damn feelings and crap "shakes fist at the sky", wish I could just say fuck off heart and feel fine, or maybe just plunge my hand into my chest and pull out my metaphorical feelings and breath a sigh of releaf.
Guess I'm just hoping for a brutal flaming to snap me back to reality as id be surprised if anyone here was equipped to give me any advice, and for god sakes I'm not emo, anyone calls me emo and I'll chuck a javelin at their face!
In a nutshell she has an out of work boyfriend (how long he's been out of work, I dunno but at least 2 months) they've been together for a year, now she spends large chunks of her pay on him and funds his favorite nightly hobby. She tells me she's unhappy and stuff but also tells me she loves him. Well a couple of her friends+her bf and me get together for her b-day, we eat, hang out and stuff. By the end of the night I think the guy is pretty cool (the bf).
Now if I spill my guts in a smooth truthfull way
See I can't compromise my scruples/morals whenever it suits my selfish needs, or else there'd be no point in having them. I'd might as well become scum. This is why I don't steal, try my best to be honest, etc. I believe if I compromised my beliefs id be essentialy "killing myself" giving birth to a new me, a different "me" you know? That might be too deep for some of you, or perhaps I didn't take the time to explain it properly. Also I think how long I've gone without say...stealing, 20 years, and think I can't just throw all those years away (I'm 23, I still remember being knee high and holding my mom's hand while I walked out of a grocery store with a rubber toy plane thing with a cartoon rabbit pilot, lol I was chewing on it(I have photographic memory))...but enough of my self-righteous bs
Thing is for some stupid reason she seems so perfect, personality wise, yeah she's beutiful too but its like I don't have an interest in any other girl because of her...there a lot of hot girls around, some kinda flirty, but its like if I got to know them id hate them...compared to her. THIS is my REAL problem...I think.
God...am I in love with this girl or something? I'd hate to admit it...seeing as I've only known her for about a month (random convos during my break, (we work together) lots of texting etc) maybe I'm just pathetic? God damn feelings and crap "shakes fist at the sky", wish I could just say fuck off heart and feel fine, or maybe just plunge my hand into my chest and pull out my metaphorical feelings and breath a sigh of releaf.
Guess I'm just hoping for a brutal flaming to snap me back to reality as id be surprised if anyone here was equipped to give me any advice, and for god sakes I'm not emo, anyone calls me emo and I'll chuck a javelin at their face!