So, for those of you who forgot who I am, I teach English in South Korea. Despite rumors to the contrary, I am not a woman. Anyway, this happened a few months back and I keep forgetting to stop by and tell you lot about it on account of I'm living in a foreign country surrounded by stunningly gorgeous women. So I'm a little distracted, is what I'm saying. So, I have this one student, a girl named, I shit you not, Mafia. My academy lets kids pick their own nicknames, and this girl is one of two Mafias. I know, right? Anyway, Mafia is an adorable little rambunctious ball of screeching hilarity who once, I shit you not, told me that she could never get sick because if she did, her mom would beat her because medicine was too expensive. So, one day she brings her DS to class and starts playing Animal Crossing during class. That dog won't sing, Monseigneur, so I take it and put it on my desk, and keep on teaching. She picks up her box of games, and starts driving it across the desk like a car, complete with screeching tire noises and explosions for when it crashed into her pencil case. I ended up taking the box too, once I stopped laughing. After class, she bolts to my desk, grabs her DS, and runs off before I get a chance to tell her that she'd forgotten something. Given that I only see her twice a week, I had to take the box home with me so none of my other kids would steal it. Seems innocent enough, right? Well, check out her collection: Tetris? Whatever. Nintendogs? Psh, that game comes standard with a uterus. If I'm reading it right, the Korean games are. . . That's a fucking R4-Plus. Before any of you creepy, creepy people start having disturbingly detailed fantasies about cute and insane Asian gamer-girls, this girl is 12 years old. So, yeah.