ITT Stoner jokes

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by WeedZ, Jan 3, 2017.

  1. WeedZ
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    WeedZ Possibly an enlightened being

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    So there were some cupcakes baking in the oven. One cupcake turned to the other and said "man, its hot in here"
    The other cupcake looked at him and replied "wow, a talking cupcake"
     
  2. Bubsy Bobcat

    Bubsy Bobcat vegtebales

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    epic
     
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  3. rikumax25!

    rikumax25! Keyblade Wielder

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    First he said pu.. and the he said din
     
  4. WeedZ
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    WeedZ Possibly an enlightened being

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    A man goes to the zoo. When he gets there he realizes they only have one animal, a dog.

    Its a shih tzu
     
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  5. x65943

    x65943 Resident Greekaboo, Amateur Dog Father

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    Okay, maybe too long and involved if you're really high, but this is a good one.

    A man enters a bar with a backpack. He sits down and says to the bartender,
    "If I show you something you've never seen before, can I have a free drink?"
    The Bartender replies,
    "It better be amazing, because I don't surprise easy."
    The man reaches into his bag and pulls out a tiny bench, piano, and a 12 inch tall man in a tuxedo. The little man sits at the piano and begins to play music.
    Everyone in the bar shouts with excitement, and the bartender gives the man his free beer.
    After the bar quiets down again, the bartender asks
    "Where did you find this man?"
    The mysterious backpacker replies
    "It all started when I found this lamp"
    He then takes out a golden lamp from his backpack. The Bartender quickly snatches the lamp away, rubs it, and a genie appears.
    The bartender shouts all at once
    "I wish for a million bucks!"
    Suddenly the bar is filled with ducks, and everyone is either forced to the ground or pushed against the walls.
    In the ensuing chaos the backpacker and the bartender manage to escape the bar. Panting and bewildered, the bartender says to the man
    "I said bucks, not ducks!"
    Recovering himself, the backpacker looks at the bartender, and shouts in disdain
    "What did you think I wished for, a 12 inch pianist?!"
     
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  6. VinsCool

    VinsCool Insecure

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    Lol I heard this one before. My sides xD
     
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  7. DinohScene

    DinohScene Dino for Hire

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    В небо
    To stoned to remember one.
     
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  8. WeedZ
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    WeedZ Possibly an enlightened being

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    Why haven't you seen an elephant hiding in a tree? Because they're really good at it.
     
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  9. BORTZ

    BORTZ "Another stunning Van Gogh"

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    Shoes are like...

    Hard socks
     
  10. B_E_P_I_S_M_A_N

    B_E_P_I_S_M_A_N oh no

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    So, three men walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second, a scotch and the third, a shot of gin.

    Suddenly, a black hole appears underneath the bar, sucking the three men in. They end up in an alternate universe, where Switzerland won World War II, and are promptly arrested by the Swiss International Police.

    In jail, the three men come up with a plan. They will run into the wall for 12 hours to build up their de facto momentum to phase through the wall and escape the jail.

    After 12 hours of grueling running, they find out that their plan didn't work, and they couldn't phase through the wall, even after 12 hours. So they all lived the rest of their lives in jail. The end.

    Was that funny?
     
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  11. BORTZ

    BORTZ "Another stunning Van Gogh"

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    *farts in car*

    <.<

    >.>

    *turns up radio to cover smell*
     
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  12. Boogieboo6

    Boogieboo6 @realDonaldTrump

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    But first, we need to talk about parallel universes.
     
  13. VinsCool

    VinsCool Insecure

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    If you say Jesus backwards, it sounds like sausage.
     
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