if Flashcarts were like Women.....(part one)

superspudz2000

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IF FLASHCARTS WERE LIKE WOMEN:


buying a flashcart is a lot like a relationship, you spend a lot of money and time on it and you get to have a lot of fun for awhile. if flashcarts were like women, its interesting to imagine what personalities they would have...

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DS-Xtreme, Stoner Girl

what the F*** is up with this cart, i mean seriously what the F*** is up with this cart?
shes going around with lights on top off her head, wearing a usb port, cant even interface with MicroSD. she cant even handle homebrew right, she expects you to do all the DLDI patching for her.

maybe at first you though she was just a free spirit, cute, fun and spontaneous, but then you realize shes completely unreliable and irresponsible, wont do anything you ask her to do, and eventually will just steal the money out of your wallet and leave without any explanation. what a nightmare! good riddance.


2j456is.jpg
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2j456is.jpg






M3i Zero, Stuck up snob girl

what a ball buster. she thinks shes IT just because shes been around longer. she used to be hard to get back in the gba days and everybody wanted her, and maybe that's why you wanted her so bad back then. sure she could be hard to handle and she had expensive tastes, but you had a lot of good memories too.

now the relationship is starting to sour. she orders you not to hang out with your old Slot-2 buddies anymore. shes so distant she barely speaks to you on her forums. and recently she is refusing to let you play around with custom firmware on her. what a bitch.



qzkiom.jpg








R4, the cheap whore

shes cheap and easy and you can get her anytime you want. she'll be any custom firmware you want her to be baby. there's one on every street corner. shes a dime a dozen. law enforcement always has their eye on her. and when you pay for one you feel dirty afterwards. shes only temporary. a cheap way to get your fun until you find something better.


2ilh5eg.jpg






Cyclo Evolution, the Bad Girl

shes trouble. you need some serious coin if you want to roll with this cart. but shes just so hot, so sexy, so irresistible, you cant wait to play with her amazing "features". and she does things in the bedroom that other carts just wont do. she'll even let you bring a hot little EZ3in1 in on the action. and you cant wait to brag to all your friends about all the stuff you do with her.

but alas, you knew it wasn't going to last forever, she doesn't really give a sh** about you. shes just after your money. eventually she will break your heart without so much as a goodbye, and leave you stuck wondering what the hell happened.


2vj3m7b.jpg





Acekard 2i, dorky girl

you work so well together, shes just so compatible. shes smart and she really knows what shes doing. and she has no problem playing the games you like. shes plain and simple but she'll do whatever you need her to do.

but yeeeah, its just not working out. you don't get that same feeling like the other carts. you miss the magic and excitement you felt with other carts. its just not the same. you had fun for awhile but now you want a cart with more to offer.

its too bad her sister R.P.G. isn't around anymore, now she had it all together, R.P.G.was the complete package.

az739d.jpg





Supercard DS ONEi, frumpy old housewife


she ain't much to look at, but she works hard and is quick to provide support. shes bland, boring, and generally uninteresting, but you have a history with her and you feel like like you owe her something because she always keeps your software updated. she might be all you got, but unfortunately every second you're forced to spend with this insufferable cow is an excruciatingly painful experience.


2822nfq.jpg





Supercard DS Two, the ogwthh girl

O.G.W.T.H.H., oh god what the hell happened.

maybe your poor, extremely unlucky, made a few bad decisions, or just really desperate, but whatever the reason shes all you can get. and your stuck with her so you might as well make the best of it. you told her you wanted a cart with a nice big RAM with 2 huge Menus, but this is not exactly what you had in mind. now shes bloated, slow, hard to get around, and extremely unpleasant to look at. but look on the bright side, at least she has well-rounded features.

work those features girl!




2mo36mc.jpg




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to all the carts we owned and the Girls/Guys we loved and lost, i SALUTE YOU. :grog: cheers.


and as always, this is a personal opinion only, no spamming or trolling no flamers please.



so what are your memories of your old flashcarts?
post it in the comments below.
 

superspudz2000

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space reserved for limited edition directors cut
want to see what didn't make the final cut? you wont want to miss these outrageous outtakes.

image will reveal after 5 likes

image will reveal in 5:00 min

disclaimer: the following images may be offensive to some fanboys. fanboy discretion is advised. not recommended if you surfer from Fanboy-ism. if you do suffer from fanboy-ism ask your doctor if 4chan treatments are right for you.

j6sarq.jpg



35c3pth.jpg

1zfqzvt.jpg



 
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Sicklyboy

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You do realize that the DSTWO is the only cart to date that has never stopped working, never requiring a new model, right?

Have you ever even used the DSTWO? There is seriously nothing bad about its menus at all, and if you have a problem with them, there are two very capable replacement menus to use instead.

I think I can pass on seeing what didn't make the final cut.
 

pyromaniac123

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space reserved for limited edition directors cut
want to see what didn't make the final cut? you wont want to miss these outrageous outtakes.

image will reveal after 5 likes

Lol gtfo.
 

superspudz2000

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You do realize that the DSTWO is the only cart to date that has never stopped working, never requiring a new model, right?

Have you ever even used the DSTWO? There is seriously nothing bad about its menus at all, and if you have a problem with them, there are two very capable replacement menus to use instead.

I think I can pass on seeing what didn't make the final cut.

a scene of humor is something that must be acquired over time. laughter is the best medicine!

and i actually tried to make the Supercard girl as attractive as i possibly could, and the other carts as unattractive as possible knowing that supercard famboyism reaces maximum level in the forums. *shrugs*. best i could do.
 

Smuff

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Very funny and nicely written.

I still actually use my "original" R4 cart from back in about 2005 or whenever - shortly after it's launch anyhow, whenever it was.
 

Rydian

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Have you ever even used the DSTWO?
Given his statements in other threads (that you can't use a slot-2 with the DSTwo, that it doesn't have a screw to hold it together, etc.) it's obvious that nope, he hasn't.

c2oi.jpg
 

Yepi69

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You do realize that the DSTWO is the only cart to date that has never stopped working, never requiring a new model, right?

Have you ever even used the DSTWO? There is seriously nothing bad about its menus at all, and if you have a problem with them, there are two very capable replacement menus to use instead.

I think I can pass on seeing what didn't make the final cut.

He dislikes DSTWO for some reason, his favorite flashcard is the CycloDS.
r4 just disappointed me once, well at least the cheap whore is better than nothing...

Its a clone, of course it always sucked.
 

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