Alright, here's what you need.
- A Sony© Play™ Station© Five™ Development™ Kit©. They should be easy to find on eBay, and failing that, you can just ask for one from PlayStation themselves.
- A Michaelsoft Binbows PC with exactly 1b RAM, no GPU whatsoever, and a floppy drive. You need a state-of-the-art computer to develop state-of-the-art games, after all.
- A three-lightyear-long dong. You'll need it to type. (Alternatively, women could use condoms.)
- A bottle of whiskey. It's a good idea to pour it into every port on the computer.
- Expansive knowledge of x64 Assembly. It's the easiest programming language to learn.
Got all that? Great! Here's what you do.
- Plug the PC into your wall. Make sure that you've already poured some whiskey onto the prongs.
- Plug your SPSFDK™ into the PC. Make sure you also poured some whiskey into every port on that system, too.
- Turn on your PC. If it bursts into flames, don't worry - it's working as intended.
- Enter the flames. This is the development center.
- Take off your pants. Nobody's watching.
- Use your penné to type the code.
- When finished, take a jizz on the system. This will transfer your data over to the SPSFDK™.
- To exit the development center, put out the flames with the remaining whiskey. If you drank what's left already, gasoline is another option.
- Now it's time to test your game. Unplug your SPSFDK™ and dry it off.
- Plug the SPSFDK™ into the wall and turn it on.
- The system should boot directly into the custom game. If not, piss on it.
- Play it.
Well done! You're now on your way to making the best game of all time! Join us next time when we show you how to be a babysitter.
Children under the age of 21 are not allowed within five feet of an open bottle of alcohol. If you see somebody coding in public, inform the authorities. Definitely Sober Enterprises takes no responsibility for any persons, buildings, or electronics harmed in the development of PlayStation 5 software.
