I need some help, some support, or something. I'm about to lose it.

[calmwaters]

Whoa, that's not true. I'm so horrified right now... How can you say something like that? I care for you and I don't want to see your life go down the hole when you've got me and all these people on this forum who care about you.

Perhaps i'm alone in thinking it, but essentially it sounds like you need some counselling to deal with emotional and anger issues. Yes she cheated on you, but up to this point do you feel that she's been happy in your relationship?

In isolation you sound like an abusive, hot-headed spouse(as Foxi says flying off the handle and hitting someone is only appropriate if you're 5) who's probably quite erratic and scary to be around. You need to deal with your own issues first and then deal with those that deal with those around you. Getting counselling and living apart is a sensible first step to getting things back together.

I don't think he needs counseling; I know he needs counseling. And 2 (10) (50) (600) people who can help with that. He's been in isolation so long that his pessimism is unbelievably horrific; we've got to help him snap out of it. It's obvious he can't do it himself.

 

[JoostinOnline]

You shouldn't have hit her - it's a woman. No matter how she acts, unless she threatens your life directly, AKA, knife or gun in hand with clear murderous intent, you shouldn't hit her, ever.

@Foez I agree that you shouldn't have hit her. However, it's probably a reaction a lot of people would have (even if it's wrong) under the circumstances.

My advice is to take that trip, and do your best to not think about your wife (which means not discussing about how much you hate her) until it's over. I would also advise against any romantic relationships right now.

When you get back, you can start thinking about how to address the situation. You may need to take more time before you try talking to your wife again without exploding (I'm sure I would). I know you have a problem with therapy because you feel like you are paying someone to listen, but there is free counseling available. Just check the "Counseling" section in the yellow pages for local options. It's been a tremendous help to me.

 

[calmwaters]

My bitch wife has been cheating on me with guys that she is finding on craigslist. She even had me involuntarily admitted to a hospital because she claims that I was saying that I was going to hurt myself when I was drunk, but after I got out of the hospital I discovered that she was doing all this shit while I was in there and had been having an affair for a few months. So I did what any sane person would do and I slapped the bitch.

Now she has a restraining order against me and I haven't seen my kids in 2 weeks.

And, of course, all of this comes shortly after my father's suicide. How fucking lovely.

What the fuck??? What does she think; you won't be pissed if she acts like a whore? What the fuck; what kind of loser is she? A damned awful one. I've seen real bitchy women before, so I guess this is another one I can add to the list.

 

[DeadlyFoez]

She had sex with one guy 3 times, and 2 of the times he dumped in her. Then she was having a lot of sexual discussions with MANY other men saying that she wants to meet up with them soon but has to wait for me to be at work first. So I honestly don't know how many other men she has fucked, but I positively know about one.

Yes, slapping the bitch, was not the best choice, but I was so enraged over the cheating, lying, and her doing things behind my back and it was just a natural reaction.

I had one other girlfriend who I was with for like 3 or 4 years, and I walked in on her fucking my room mate. She got slapped too. I still talk to her every once in a while and she admits that she deserved the slap and that my wife deserved the slap, if not more.

We've been married for 9 years, and trust me, she has been extremely abusive to me, both verbally and physically. XFlak knows about most of it and has had to be on the bad end of her rage before also. But she thinks she is perfect and never recognizes her own mistakes.

FML.

 

[DinohScene]

That's some extremely tough rubbish mate :c

Like Joostin said, go to Xflak, just go and forget about it for a little while.
Have some fun and work it out slowly!


We're here for you chap!

 

[yuyuyup]

She had sex with one guy 3 times, and 2 of the times he dumped in her. Then she was having a lot of sexual discussions with MANY other men saying that she wants to meet up with them soon but has to wait for me to be at work first. So I honestly don't know how many other men she has fucked, but I positively know about one.

Yes, slapping the bitch, was not the best choice, but I was so enraged over the cheating, lying, and her doing things behind my back and it was just a natural reaction.

I had one other girlfriend who I was with for like 3 or 4 years, and I walked in on her fucking my room mate. She got slapped too. I still talk to her every once in a while and she admits that she deserved the slap and that my wife deserved the slap, if not more.

We've been married for 9 years, and trust me, she has been extremely abusive to me, both verbally and physically. XFlak knows about most of it and has had to be on the bad end of her rage before also. But she thinks she is perfect and never recognizes her own mistakes.

FML.

You do not have the right to justify hitting a woman (unless a case of direct self defense.) You better be sure to INTROVERT your bullshit, do NOT make this about other people. This is about you, and your future decisions. I'm not trying to be preachy. It's like you espouse; marriage is a ridiculous scenario. You put yourself at risk, YOU eat the consequences.

 

[JayPea]

NEVER hit a woman unless your life depends on it. Be the better man and simply walk away. Then see her in court. At least you leave yourself some hope of seeing your child on a regular basis.

Also, taking advice about this from a internet forum is a bad idea. Speak to a professional (psych, counsellor, etc).

 

[JayPea]

super multiple posts? odd

 

[Par39]

Also, taking advice about this from a internet forum is a bad idea. Speak to a professional (psych, counsellor, etc).

Not everyone is comfortable talking to a professional, or face to face to anyone about their problem... You CAN get support from online forums, there's lots of compassionate people, at least here on Temp. Sure, might not be the best of options, but every little bit helps. Nothing is worse than being stuck with huge problems without support.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I hope things get better.

 

[Vengenceonu]

She had sex with one guy 3 times, and 2 of the times he dumped in her. FML.

Yea she's damaged goods, now you 100% have to leave her or else you would be reminded of it everytime u see her or do it with her.

Yes, slapping the bitch, was not the best choice, but I was so enraged over the cheating, lying, and her doing things behind my back and it was just a natural reaction.

I had one other girlfriend who I was with for like 3 or 4 years, and I walked in on her fucking my room mate. She got slapped too. I still talk to her every once in a while and she admits that she deserved the slap and that my wife deserved the slap, if not more.

Yea... When you both go to court don't mention the fact you have a history of Bitch Slapping. They might think you enjoy it. But seriously It wasn't premeditated so your just a victim of the crime of passion. It's very easy to say you shouldnt have slapped her but to be honest, most people don't really think when in those situations and their emotions overtake them. If i was you, i woulda just literally threw her ass out the house and made a big spectacle infront of the neibghors.

We've been married for 9 years, and trust me, she has been extremely abusive to me, both verbally and physically. XFlak knows about most of it and has had to be on the bad end of her rage before also. But she thinks she is perfect and never recognizes her own mistakes.

FML.

That's good, you also have ammo to use against her. I wouldnt say you should both get counseling as much as i would say u need a break from everything. Fuck Canada and go straight to vegas. Whatever happens there stays there my friend. Let loose and calm down

 

[DeadlyFoez]

NEVER hit a woman unless your life depends on it. Be the better man and simply walk away. Then see her in court. At least you leave yourself some hope of seeing your child on a regular basis.

Also, taking advice about this from a internet forum is a bad idea. Speak to a professional (psych, counsellor, etc).

I already admitted that I slapped her and it was wrong. No need to beat a dead horse... or a dead ex... who is as fat as a horse. I think we can move on from that part.

The problem is that I feel like my life is essentially over since I can not see my kids for at least a year. I just don't see what the point is in anything now. I've lost so much in just a few short months. I have been betrayed and lied to by the one who vowed to be there for me, and she is doing just the exact opposite.

Fuck Canada and go straight to vegas. Whatever happens there stays there my friend. Let loose and calm down

^^Best advice ever! Too bad I'm fucking dead broke and she gets all my money from here on forward.

 

[Vengenceonu]

I already admitted that I slapped her and it was wrong. No need to beat a dead horse... or a dead ex... who is as fat as a horse. I think we can move on from that part.

The problem is that I feel like my life is essentially over since I can not see my kids for at least a year. I just don't see what the point is in anything now. I've lost so much in just a few short months. I have been betrayed and lied to by the one who vowed to be there for me, and she is doing just the exact opposite.

...stop talking like that, that just welcomes more misery into your life. Start looking at the positives, Your essentially single, your pimp hand remains firm (jks ) and its only 1 year. I've seen stories of fathers never seeing their children again. If your not going to live for you, live for them.

 

[Zerousen]

Are your kids aware of any of this? If so, then they may feel worried, or scared, or even pressured. You can make them feel so much better if you can just tell them a few words of encouragement, tell them it's okay or it'll be alright, or that you love them no matter what. I'm sure that if I had been told a few of those things, that I wouldn't have had such a stressful time.

 

[DeadlyFoez]

My children are 7 and 8, both autistic, and I'm not allowed to talk to them, see them, send them gifts, or have anything to do with them for the next year or more unless the bitch drops the restraining order.

 

[Vengenceonu]

My children are 7 and 8, both autistic, and I'm not allowed to talk to them, see them, send them gifts, or have anything to do with them for the next year or more unless the bitch drops the restraining order.

I found something that can help you. its a site about men and women who have bitch wifes/husbands and what to do about it/solutions. If anything, even if it doesnt help you it will make you laugh.
http://marriedpeopleproblems.com/20...-bitch-and-i-hate-her-what-can-i-do-about-it/

My favorite answer so far is: Thunder punch that bitch in the vagina and then dick slap her across the face. Bitches don’t disrespect!!!


Foez, this guy has it worst then you. His wife cheated, stole from him, aborted his unborn child and he pays child support to her ex husband.

http://marriedpeopleproblems.com/2012/09/01/i-hate-my-wife-so-much-it-hurts/

 

[jonesman99]

Hey, if your partner wants to stoop so low as to resort to Craigslist for compassion, then that's her loss, NOT yours. You have other things going for you to occupy your time with. Let her have fun with the frequent trips to the free clinic.

 

[ilman]

Damn, you're in a bad position. But don't say stuff like "there's no meaning to life".
You said your father had died recently. Think about what you felt then. Do you want your kids to feel the same way? Of course not.
What I'd do: stay away from your wife until you can see your kids. Afterwards ask for a divorce and try to keep the kids with you.
At least survive until you can see them. For their sake.

 

[DeadlyFoez]

Damn, you're in a bad position. But don't say stuff like "there's no meaning to life".
You said your father had died recently. Think about what you felt then. Do you want your kids to feel the same way? Of course not.
What I'd do: stay away from your wife until you can see your kids. Afterwards ask for a divorce and try to keep the kids with you.
At least survive until you can see them. For their sake.

What puzzles me is the morning that she got the restraining order, I had asked her to go file for a divorce. It was over a week since the slap incident so it's not like she was in fear of me hurting her, especially when the previous night I had made dinner for her and her girlfriend and everything was perfectly cool except that I wanted to spend time with her and she wanted to smoke pot with her friend instead.

 

[Maxternal]

Man, that really sucks

I'm really at a loss for words (and am NOT a lawyer) but the first two legal thoughts that come to mind here are :

1. If you file for the divorce instead of waiting for her to do it, would that speed up the process or make you more likely to have it result in your favor?

2. If she files for divorce while you're gone to Canada, could your absence be used to her advantage?


(I'd assume there are divorce lawyers that take all their money out of what they win for you if the problem is not having the cash now and I'd think they'd fight harder for you that way if they get no cash if you lose ... maybe getting that started and THEN taking your much-needed trip to Canada would be the best? Something to think about at least)

Either way hope things work out for the best when all this FINALLY get's over with (It's a legal process, it has to some day.)

 

[Thanatos Telos]

Sucks for you, man. I hope the bitch gets what's coming to her.

XFlak, you better do a good job of helping Deadlyfoez up, he needs a friend a lot, and you're the Temp's only hope.

 

[DeadlyFoez]

For months my wife has been calling me a n!gger, faggot, piece of shit, asshole, dick (because my dads name is Dick), and just such horrible things. It was an everyday thing. If the slightest thing made her upset then she would go off with all the insults again. I refrained from calling her names and I would politely ask her to stop even though I was raging inside. Worst of all is that she would do it in front of my children, and she would SCREAM so the neighborhood could here her, and then start slamming doors even though our landlords lived below us.

Then when she was in a good mood she would tell me that she's doing this with other men bc I don't tell her sweet nothings all the time. First off, I would tell her that I loved her, I would tell her she is beautiful even though she is a little bigger of a woman, and I would thank her for the food she cooked and I would always beg to spend time with her. But even with those things that I was doing, how the fuck can she expect me to even want to say nice things to her when she is constantly putting me down and trashing me? I don't get it.

Maybe this is her midlife crisis. Maybe having 2 autistic children and a husband who has aspergers was finally too much for her.

Yes, I have a short tolerance for her constant stupidity and lack of common sense, but it's not like I was yelling at her or insulting her, I would just give a short and snappy response, but I have been working hard on that and I have been trying to better myself.

I honestly feel that she is using me as her excuse for her not being happy. I mean hell, she is an alcoholic, will smoke pot at every chance, will pop pills when they are around, calls my friends and begs them for pot saying that I needed it bc I was depressed but I was asleep and did not find out about it until days later when my friend would ask about it. I seriously don't get whats going on in her head.

She would tell me on a regular basis that her and the kids would be better off without me. She even had told me on a few occasions that I should just kill myself and get it over with. What a loving and supportive wife I have here.

And yet, I still want to fix things. I still love her. I am still wearing my wedding ring. Nice guys finish last.