I am F**KING UNBREAKABLE

[WeaponXxX]

So here I am jumping outta planes....had a great few jumps yesterday, a few good ones today....well....my balance...is not PERFECT in the air...but I am getting the hang of it....anyway I have some sort of chute malfunction and at about 20 feet in the air (That's 6 meters to you guys over the pond) ...traveling about 45 MPH (That's 72 KM).....so here I am coming in for a landing, chute malfunction, I get SLAMMED into the grass, bounce 3 FEET in the air, and nothing is broken...yet I should be dead....or at least severely hurt....okay...well I am pretty sore... but it's pretty fucking amazing that I walked away from the ordeal...

As soon as I master the sport I will have some bad ass videos to share with my fellow tempers...but right now my videos are of me flailing around like a magicarp for 10 seconds....then flying with style for 15 seconds.....then doing a dog trick...and flailing for 10 seconds, getting my bearings....and finally pulling my chute.....I'll probably wait to share my videos when I am all Silver Surfish and shit in the sky...that shit i'll be dope.....if I can live that long

 

[iwakura]

oh man, I've wanted to try that all my life. minus the "bouncing up 3 feet"

almost 18....

 

[Mangofett]

You mean my goons didn't mess up your chute well enough??

And here I made this RIP photoshop for nothing.

 

[Awdofgum]

I'd like to see the video anyways

 

[iTech]

As his only surviving relative it is my duty to inform you that WeaponXxX has passed away an hour ago.
The cause of death was determined as "slipped in the shower".
His narrow escape from death earlier today in a parachute accident had our dearest friend cheering and jumping around while washing himself, when tragedy apparantly struck in the form of a slippery used condom that wedged itself between his toes.

The funeral will be held on monday and everyone attending is required to bring their own shovel.
That is all.

 

[Dirtie]

Wow, you are a very lucky guy mr. WeaponX sir.

I'm very envious as I've wanted to do skydiving almost all my life

(I'm a tad of an adrenaline junkie)
Some videos would be very kickass.

Good luck, and I hope there are no more chute malfunctions

 

[jalapeno]

wait... i dont get it..

you jumped out of a plane, your parachute didnt work...?

so.... how are u still alive?

 

[PikaPika]

I think what happened is that he deployed his chute at the correct altitude, but with about 20 feet left, it malfunctioned. So it worked, just not all the way. (Correct me if I'm wrong, Weapon)

 

[jalapeno]

ahh,

i think my way would be cooler

 

[gamermole]

what about that dude that fell a few thousand feet landed in a bush and lived

 

[Deleted User]

Dude, very lucky! I can only second Dirtie as I hope there will be no more chute malfunctions.

what about that dude that fell a few thousand feet landed in a bush and lived

That was propably his brother or something.

 

[T!b0]

Damn you're so lucky!!!

I wish I could afford skydiving, dreamed of it since I'm 17 or something like that... But i'ts so expensive!!! More than 1000€ for the formation (6jumps)...


Anyway, I hope you don't do any more slaming and bouncing

 

[IxthusTiger]

How much are the lessons? Have you ever tried a wind tunnel?

 

[Jax]

I'm guessing this is you...

 

[mthrnite]

Nice work .TakaM!

Have a Mountain Dew!

When you get a minute, describe your first jump. Any trouble getting the balls up to actually fly outta the hole that first time?

 

[jumpman17]

As soon as I master the sport I will have some bad ass videos to share with my fellow tempers...but right now my videos are of me flailing around like a magicarp for 10 seconds

Did you atleast use a splash attack?

 

[FAST6191]

Nice going WeaponXXX.

 

[WeaponXxX]

I have to say that I am incredibly sore today...it feels like I got hit by a truck...unfortunately no bruises...as much pain as I am in right now I'd at least like some black and blue to show everybody how bad I feel...I cough and it feels like a 100 pound weight is on my chest, my left leg is totally aching...actually my knee caps feel as if they wanna buckle, my neck, my shoulders, all night long I could not sleep trying to figure out just what happened. To clarify what happened...here is what I know:

1) I jump out of the plane at 14,000 Feet
2) We do some simple maneuvers in the sky
3) At 5500 I open my chute with no problems
4) I Look up to check that my canopy is OK...it did look to be the wrong canopy... See you go by your weight, I am 190 Lbs so I an amateur jumper jump with a canopy that can hold up to 230Lbs Anyway... this canopy was definitely not the one I normally jump with which just means I will be descending that much quicker.
5) When you land you do a U Formation....1000 Feet start your landing, 500 Feet make a left to start your next part of the "U", 250 Feet take one more left and land it strait in.

Nobody tapes my landings....so I don't have footage to see what happened. At first my instructor who is about 150 yards away tells me I didn't apply my brakes and just crashed into the ground and did my bounce.

This doesn't make sense to me cause it's really not what it feels like. IMO what happened was I was gliding down and lost ALL resistance and just fell to the ground.

Thinking things over....I think I fell right after taking my final left turn....which leads me to a few speculations on what happened. The fact that I fell 150 yards...well that means I dropped right after my last turn...the one where I am about 250 feet in the air.

So... A) I took the last turn under the recommended safe guidelines and lost the air in my canopy dropping to the ground.
B) I took the turn at the right height but possibly took too hard of a turn...

.... You know I really don't know what happened...again your going fast down and once I realized something was wrong it was pretty much splat.

The only real thing that sucks is I don't know what happened to cause this malfunction to prevent it from happening. You think when your chute opens that your in the clear but I have learned that .... well there is a saying... the jump does not count as a successfully one until your ass is back in the hangar and your name is on the next manifest. Stay tuned after this commercial break as I recap my very first jump...

 

[thegame07]

Its sounds like you may have cracked a rib

Go to the doctors right away you can die from that. are you not scared to do it again after what happened

Well im glad you enjoyed it and good luck with your next jump

 

[gigermunit]

I havent broken my a bone or anything in my life the worst that happened to me was i drowned,lost at sea or got stomach parasites i almost died 3 times but otherwise i havent done anything major i dont drink milk unless i have cereal so it has nothing to do with that

ive jumped from high shit, got in car accidents where my mom broke bones but i didnt i also ran then tripped and fell and rolled for about 30 feet with only scratchs......ive had like every single thing done to me and havent broken shit.....head smashed into cement walls and shit im starting to think im bruce willis.