Humble Bundle Giveaway 2: The second cuming

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by emigre, Oct 3, 2011.

  1. emigre
    OP

    emigre Has complex motives

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    Prowler doesn't PC game himself but he had some spare money in the bank to donate a gift code. He started a giveaway thread? and everyone posted pictures of cats and youtube videos. I wrote some shit out and I won. The problem is, I already bought the bundle myself hence its redundant to me. So I've decided to give it away.

    The rules are simple. I don't want pictures of bloody animals smiling or youtube videos. Instead I want you guys to write out an essay/musical/play/story/poem/Satire about anything you want. whatever entertains me the most will win.

    Time limit? Two days.
    Be creative, lads.
     


  2. BobTheJoeBob

    BobTheJoeBob The most optimistic person on the temp. :)

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    Do rants count?
     
  3. emigre
    OP

    emigre Has complex motives

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    I accept rants.
     
  4. alidsl

    alidsl I am now a lurker

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    There once was a man named emigre
    For pirating he was very eager
    He became a big troll
    Then he did a rick roll
    and banned was that man named emigre

    (thought about this on the spot, I guess this post is winning so far though [​IMG] )
     
  5. BobTheJoeBob

    BobTheJoeBob The most optimistic person on the temp. :)

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    Good.

    All I want is some friggin' cheese, but is there any in the fridge? NO! How hard is it to keep a bit of cheese in the fridge? And don't give that, "But there's cheese string sitting right there on the top shelf." I want real cheese, not that garbage! How am I supposed to get my recommended daily dairy intake when there's no real cheese in the fridge?! It's not like the cheese is hard to get. I mean, what's going to happen to prevent cheese from being produced? Are the cows going to go on strike or something? I highly doubt it! Cows aren't nearly organised enough to go on strike. I bet they don't even know what a strike is! Why are cows so stupid?! And if they're so stupid, why haven't I been able to catch one so I can keep it in my garage? Then I'd never run out of cheese.
     
  6. frazzledazzle

    frazzledazzle Advanced Member

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    i wanna make love to a certain person, but what if this certain person was not a person? MIND. BLOWN.
     
  7. alidsl

    alidsl I am now a lurker

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    In a large city a new building was made called "husband finder" a women walks into the reception and finds out the rules of the building:

    Rules:
    • Everything is free
    • The building has 6 floors each with a different husband on
    • You must go through the floors one by one
    • You are not allowed to go down a floor
    • You cannot start again

    So the women walks up to the first floor and finds the description of the husbands
    • These men are alcoholics and druggy's
    • pretty ugly
    • Fat/out of shape
    • No job

    The women decides to go up to the second floor where she gets yet another description of the men:
    • These men drink a fair bit of alcohol and don't take drugs
    • Slightly better looking than floor 1
    • Out of shape but only a bit chubby
    • Works in some crap fast food restaurant

    So she goes up to the third floor hoping for better results:
    • These men go out once a week "with the lads"
    • Average looking
    • Goes to the gym and plays sport but not that fit
    • Works for a bank

    Once again she goes up a floor to the fourth where she finds something much better:
    • Only get drunk on special occasions
    • Pretty handsome
    • Plays alot of sport and is very fit
    • Owns a decent company

    The women is tempted to pick this floor but continues on to floor five:
    • Very responsible, never drinks
    • Very hot and a sex machine
    • Nice six-pack and generally awesome at life
    • Is very rich (some rich guys job)

    The women couldn't believe her eyes but thinks that she might get better on floor six, but once she gets there she sees a sign that says

    "You are the 34,534,791st visitor to this floor, here you get no husband"

    The same company then opens a building opposite called "wife finder" to avoid sexist claims

    On the first for a man finds:
    • These women are bitches
    • don't do house work
    • Pretty ugly
    • no job

    On floor 2 the man finds:
    • Women who don't mind about drinking or football
    • Do a bit of house work
    • Slightly better than floor one
    • Some small rubbish job

    No-one has ever been past floor 2


    The moral of the story:
    Women can never be pleased
     
  8. soulx

    soulx GBAtemp Legend

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    Do you know what Nintendo needs to stay relevant? Some goddamn adult games. I'm sick of Mario, Zelda, Pokemon or whatever other sick creation that they make for children these days. Adults are the ones that purchase your system so it makes sense to create games geared towards them. I am a adult gamer which means I want to play adult games. I'm not sure if they are just incompetent but by now, it should have been apparent that adult games are the best way to bring in more revenue. I hope Nintendo has realized that by now and starts releasing some more adult games this generation. Like Wii Fit. For my adult mom.

    HELLO THERE!
     
  9. machomuu

    machomuu Drops by occasionally

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    The Courtroom
    ^ Apparently that's the Wii U, but I'm not expecting much.
     
  10. Blood Fetish

    Blood Fetish Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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    What's the deal with airline food?
     
  11. naglaro00

    naglaro00 Mildly disturbed

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    Pulse
    This is a haiku
    about you giving me stuff
    i want that bundle
     
  12. jack12357

    jack12357 Newbie

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    Once a upon a time , there was a boy looking for Humble Frozenbyte Bundle , he saw almost everyone got it , but he can't , he is sad , because he don't got a credit card , bank account or any thing, one day he come to this forum , this thread and write down a story try to win a Humble Frozenbyte Bundle , the story is about : Once a upon a time , there was a boy looking for Humble Frozenbyte Bundle ... [​IMG]
    Is it ok to use it to in?I use to watch not writing , sorry if it is not interesting.
     
  13. gifi4

    gifi4 How am I a 'New Member'?

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    I keep seeing an advertisement on tv that has this quote in it "This level's not the level, the next level's the level", I've seen it about 5 times and I'm so in love with it now that I can't get it out of my head, guess what else just popped up "Perry Perry chicken, perry perry chicken"

    And now to finish my random crapola, my favourite quote from Hot Tub Time Machine "A shotgun to the dick" That is all.
     
  14. Quincy

    Quincy Your own personal guitarist :3

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    Your house, robbing your stuff
    There once was a guy. His name was Jimbo Harddisk ([​IMG]). What people always thought of him as soon as they heard his last name was that he was a wizz. But he wasn't, and that is what this story will be about. This story is starting from a random day on a random year in his 18th year.

    Day one.
    "Oh fuck! I'm late for school!" is what Jimbo thought as soon as he looked on his clock. "I'm going to be late again!". You see, Jimbo was known for coming late for his classes on a regular basis, he is a very fast(?) sleeper, not easy to wake up. As he tripped over the power chord of his TV and fell face down on the floor, he realized that he was about to go to school in his underwear from the day before. "Hmm.. Lets get some clothes on" he thought. As he thought that he was looking for clothing in his closet, only to see that he only has a pink shirt with skinny jeans lying there. "Hmm... Why do I have that kind of clothing?" he said. "Oh well, better then going in my underwear he said while he dressed up for school.

    He went down the stairs, again head first, because he missed a step and landed on the floor. "Yowch! Motherfucking stairs!" he screamed. When he looked up, he saw his mom standing there... Shocked... "What did you say??" she said. "Nothing, you bitch" Jimbo mumbled, and he went off to school.

    When he arrived on the school grounds, the first thing that he heard was "Hey! Look at Jimbo! Seems that he finally came out of the closet!!". Jimbo just ignored that and ran to class.

    When he arrived in class, he realised that he didn't have his shoes on, and turned bright red. The teacher looked at him, and said "Oh dear god Jimbo, You are late, You are wearing ridiculous clothing and don't even have your shoes on. Why not skip this class entirely?" and continued teaching the class.
    Jimbo turned around, ashamed, and felt like killing himself. The rest of the schoolday went normally.

    I don't feel like writing more then this for now. Maybe on request I will write a day 2.
     
  15. BrightNeko

    BrightNeko Popcorn ball

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    not much to this as its only just been started but I doubt I should post a full novel on GBAtemp. Sorry in advance about the grammar.


    removed someone won
     
  16. wrettcaughn

    wrettcaughn Misunderstood Moral Elitist

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    See sig for entry...
     
  17. corenting

    corenting GBAtemp Regular

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    Here is my entry :

    This is a story of a man. He was playing some games on his computer. But when he saw in his gmail inbox a email with "Humble Bundle" in it, he immediatly went to humblebundle.com. Here, he remembered that he doesn't have a paypal account or anything like that, because he was a high school student.
    Instead of crying or insulting some rich noobs who can buy it, he decided to go to GBAtemp, to see if a good soul could give one copy to him [​IMG]
    On GBAtemp, someone was making a giveaway ! But his post didn't win... Lolcats were not enough fun [​IMG]
    But the winner organized another giveaway because he already had the game ! He wanted people to write some fun texts. He was so happy, that he decided to post some "random" text on his topic, because he wants to play Frozen Synapse and other indies games. But he doesn't know if he can win, because english is not is mother tongue, and he writes bad... He waits, with little hope, behind his computer, playing some other games and looking for other lolcats for future giveways. He wants his Humble Bundle !!!!
     
  18. Clydefrosch

    Clydefrosch GBAtemp Psycho!

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    thats the first bundle that didnt get a simple giveaway topic, isnt it?
     
  19. hkz8000

    hkz8000 GBAtemp Regular

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    does it have to be something you've written yourself?
     
  20. emigre
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    emigre Has complex motives

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    Yes or else.