How would you fight someone off...

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by Resident0, Feb 21, 2007.

  1. Resident0
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    Resident0 GBAtemp Fan

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    I mean if a raving lunatic was attacking you and you had to bring him down with just your DS stylus, what would you do?

    I would poke him in the nose until he sneezed to death.

    Or alternatively i could draw a massive anvil using the stylus and drop it on his head!

    [​IMG]
     
  2. BlueStar

    BlueStar GBAtemp Psycho!

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    I'd wrap my fist around it and beat him with it. Or shove it through his tearduct. Or shout "Capture On!" and draw a big ring around him. Or tap him in the forehead 2 million times until I wore through to his brain.
     
  3. Veho

    Veho The man who cried "Ni".

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    Or stick it down his urethra.




    ....What?
     
  4. Zidapi

    Zidapi GBAtemp Psycho!

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    Seriously.

    If you have the power you could jam it into his throat, but that would require quite alot of force. The quickest and most effective way to disable your opponent is to ram the fuckin thing into his eye thus disabling him. The you have the choice of beating the fuck out of him or running like hell.

    This is why i allways carry a pen in my pocket. You can take a pen anywhere with you, making it the most effective and practical weapon you can carry.
     
  5. Psyfira

    Psyfira Credit: 0ml. Insert tea to continue

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    Go for the eyes Boo, the eyeeeees!!! [​IMG]
     
  6. HaaTa

    HaaTa Member

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    Well, first option would be to run, as who's to say he doesn't have a stylus as well.

    Second option, well you could go for the eyes; however, if he is a raving lunatic then he'd slit your throat before you got half-way there.

    Third option, throat jabbing, well I do have the speed and power for that, but, after that he's dead and your f-cked as you killed someone and your going to have to pay the consequences of your actions.

    Fourth option (not in any particular order), tear duct, uh no, to build that kind've accuracy against a still target would take at least a few weeks, add crazy, moving, and unpredictable and your not going to hit it unless you walk up to him tell him to stop moving as there's a fly on his face, then jam it down his tear duct....not happening....generally...

    Fifth option, urethra, uh maybe if the lunatic was a chick or has a severe case of micro-penis (look it up on wikipedia if you don't know what I'm talking about) then you might have a slight chance with your x-ray vision, their wearing not clothes, or you like to play touchy, feely with your neighbourhood lunatic (then I'd be more worried about running into you). Otherwise not happening as every body is different (unless they happen to be your identical twin) and the only way your getting it there is by luck.

    (I'll be back for more once I get to work)
     
  7. Mehdi

    Mehdi Lemonade by Psyfira

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    jam it into his nostral damaging the brain!!!!!
     
  8. Dis

    Dis Newbie

    force it down his throat [​IMG]
    or stick it into his anus...
     
  9. boogers_

    boogers_ Member

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    use the stylus as a sword, and the dsphat as my shield.
     
  10. Veho

    Veho The man who cried "Ni".

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    Aren't you taking this a leeetle too seriously? [​IMG]

    And as for the urethra (link), the guy needn't be micro-sized, nor a chick, to be able to have his urethra (different link) stuffed with stylus.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. HaaTa

    HaaTa Member

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    More from me!!!

    6) Through nostral into brain...one of the better choices; however, as soon as it reaches the brain, their life is in YOUR hands. As well I'm a little unsure about the membranes and the bones concerning that region as I haven't continued with my biology past high school.

    7) Throat...that is a trade-off, high probablility that they may die (if it goes down the trachea, or if it goes down the esophagus, then either they may die (gets stuck somewhere a pierces something) or they'll end up with really bad indigestion as I suspect the plastics in the stylus are not stomach friendly. Nevertheless, will not be instant so they could kill you in the mean time.

    8) Anus... *I sense Naruto* anyways, if it happens to be an average individual then that would be a good defense if you could get around them (that's situationally either possible or impossible) as the contours will lead you right it. Nevertheless, you may run into a lunatic that has interesting sexual habits and they most likely won't notice a thing...and your hand...ew (you can finish that sentence)

    (I can't really say to much about the drawing ones as if it is possible then all I would have to do is draw a hannibal lector suit on him, complete with cart and steel cage)

    (Time to go move some computers)

    edit:
    Serious is fun!
    Gives me time to think about something really ridiculous by the end of the day.

    Well I don't doubt the stylus fitting (as nurses shove bigger tubes in there), its the aiming part that would be difficult.

    Sword and shield...interesting.

    (Can you tell, I'm an objective engineer)
     
  12. Takrin

    Takrin GBAtemp Fan

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    i'd just say throw the stylus at his face make sure you act like your throwing something so he knows somethings comming, then just punch him as he gets distracted.

    now if its a girl then get some feels, boobies, wookies, whatever you can and take the beating like a man. also be a sport for others by accidently ripping her clothes and remember gentlemens doesnt hit ladies [​IMG] ooo i can see it now. if shes ugly its another story just elbow her.
     
  13. Resident0
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    Resident0 GBAtemp Fan

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    But he would need to be naked...

    I never said anything about NAKED raving lunatics, maybe you all have some sort of sick fetish...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  14. mthrnite

    mthrnite So it goes.

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    Just give it to him, along with your DS.
    Show him how to play Golden Sun.
    Walk away.
    Come back 15 minutes later, he'll be fast asleep.
    Take your gear.
    Walk away

    Problem solved!
     
  15. Orc

    Orc ‎(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

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    I shoot the moon.
     
  16. Rayder

    Rayder Mostly lurking lately....

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    Stab them in the throat or eye.
     
  17. Henuki

    Henuki Member

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    Pretend I was playing Kirby Power Paintbrush and safely create a rainbow path diverting this crazed lunatic away from me and to the nearest suitable dumping ground for such a person.
     
  18. Resident0
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    Resident0 GBAtemp Fan

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    Glasgow then?

    [​IMG]
     
  19. HaaTa

    HaaTa Member

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    9) Throwing your stylus...well that may work, however if they has any kind've adrenaline rush like they will most likely have (or are a lot bigger than you) then a punch from 70% of the general public will just piss them off, making them want to kill you even more. As well, if you punch them in the face then I'd say there is a 70-80% that you'd break your hand as I assume your like 70% of the general public and you can't punch properly.

    10) Give'em your DS and Golden Sun...great idea, if they're literate and calm enough to care about video games. If not, say bye bye DS and Golden Sun and your life as well if you don't run away in time (or do something else).

    11) I shoot the moon...well ugh, the term sound familar, but ugh...
    I categorize thee in thy fantastical realm.

    12) Done and Done [already] (stabbing, throat or eyes)

    13) Go KIRBY!!!!! Best real game I've ever bought for my DS...if not the only.
    Anyways, good plan, fantastical, but good plan.

    My turn

    M1) Run in, then stab them between the bicep after a hip toss onto the cold hard pavement, making sure that they're head hits your knee, in order to cushion the blow to they're head (so they don't die). During their screaming make sure you didn't get any blood on you (AIDs anyone) then chain their nose ring through the chainlink fence and attach it to some handcups you put on him just before.
    Now watch him try to get you.
     
  20. crescentsaber

    crescentsaber Advanced Member

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    man, what do you guys smoke up there in Canada ? Maple Leaves ? :wtf: