How to Get Rich Quick

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by F. Lobot, May 9, 2011.

  1. F. Lobot
    OP

    F. Lobot GBAtemp Regular

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    Dec 28, 2010
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    1. Develop aspergers in the womb. Prolonged exposure to teratogens can help, consider chain smoking to expedite the process.

    2. Focus your interests on computer programing, but not any form of it that would lead to a successful career. Instead of developing useful software, make it you mission to reverse engineer everything you see to the the last hex decimal.

    3. Apply that mantra to video games since those are cool nowadays and it will help you fit in with the kids at school.

    4. Avoid women at every opportunity, blow off every chance of ever becoming a man. A helpful trick here is to blame yourself for every intentional sabotage and call it a character flaw, while claiming your misguided approach is an effect of you constant failures.

    5. Seriously, stick to it. No matter how many people believe in you, you said you won't be good at anything and you're always right! Prove to your parents that you are a loser.

    6. Maintain poor health and drink lots of Red Bull and Mountain Dew. Continue living as a lazy, selfish hermit and eventually you'll reach a point where you are immune to shame. This will be your main advantage.

    7. Find a large, wealthy multinational corporation with poor customer relations and security, as well as a robust underground development and hacking community.

    8. Browse tutorials on GBAtemp to learn about every loose thread and security hole related to the company's products, services and network. Perhaps even invest some money in the community's research by donating to the bounty, while praising the great name of homebrew.

    9. Wait for alleged organized group that cannot be identified to declare war on said corporation and consumerism in general. Let them strike first, frequent their irc channels to learn more.

    10. The hull has already been breached! I think you know what's next! All those assholes who play downloadable games off a cloud server are gonna pay for how they treated you. Compromise the shit out of their credit cards and personal details! Now get on over to IAACA to maximize your profits, or even just go on your own little shopping spree, you deserve it!

    Special thanks to: George Hotz, Graf_Chokolo, fail0verflow, Sony, and Linus Torvalds for programing Linux in the first place

    Note: There may be some slight inaccuracies or sections of the guide that are unclear. I will do my best to address these in the coming days. Thank you vote 5!
     
  2. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    11. Get busted by the F.B.I, get all your possessions confiscated, meet Bubba, learn the meaning of true manly love.

    ...but what's money worth in comparison to true love?
     
  3. Linkiboy

    Linkiboy GBAtemp Testing Area

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    [​IMG]
     
  4. FAST6191

    FAST6191 Techromancer

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    I appreciate you trying to cover it up by adding in Red Bull and Mountain Dew instead of the usual stuff (also maintaining some semblance of a healthy body helps with all nighters) but I would really appreciate it if you did not share my plans.
     
  5. DSGamer64

    DSGamer64 Canadian, Eh?

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    No human can turn their head that far around!
     
  6. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    Bubba and Joe can make the impossible... possible! They'll stretch various parts of your body.
     
  7. Ikki

    Ikki GBATemp's grumpy panda.

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    Thank you so much, I'm gonna try this when I get home.
     
  8. Rydian

    Rydian Resident Furvertâ„¢

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    Cave Entrance, Watching Cyan Write Letters
    Doesn't involve leg humping.

    Must be false.