How to become an Ass

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by Youkai, Dec 3, 2011.

  1. Youkai

    Youkai Demon

    Jul 1, 2004
    Germany , NRW
    well title sounds stupid but really its not a joke (ok its a question noone can answer i think cuz you can't just change yourself...)

    sucks so much to be the nice guy.

    you do thinks you do not want to do only to make others happy,
    the woman do not like you cuz you are to nice and don't "dominate" them,
    even at work you are used as the bosses please -.-V

    I had a hobby which is finally completely ruined cuz i am the only one in the team that ALLWAYS has to be there even when i as ill as someone can be while and so on ....
    now since 3 month i tell my "ex"-team that i quit and every time they call me as often as needed till i finaly say ok -.-V think for the next time i will just try to ignore the phone.

    even one of my friends who i thaught was a good one did need money so i lend it to him cuz he told me i was getting everything back definietly at the end of the month ("only" around 200€)
    now barely a whole year later he buys a guitar and pays for lessonst and every week he tells me he has no money to pay me back and i will get it definietly at the end of the month,
    now cuz he allways comes to me when he has problems i told him as long as i do not see my money i won't talk to him ...
    well for one month now i was able to and i hope this will remain but its soooooo hard for me cuz he is calling so often, i just ask "do you have the money" and as fast as he says no i push the end call button to not give him the chance to forgive him again -.-
  2. Hells Malice

    Hells Malice Are you a bully?

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    Apr 9, 2009
    You're confusing nice guy with a complete wussbag loser.
    There's 3 kinds of guy.

    The Asshole
    The Nice Guy
    The Wussbag Loser no one wants to date, ever

    The Asshole is self explanatory. They're assholes, and chances are the girls you attract will end up dead in a gutter or ODing on something. I'm generalizing, sure. But it's a good one.

    The Nice Guy can be kind, gentle, understanding, etc. But they don't throw out their self respect and become everyones bitch who will do anything to try and get on their good side. They have standards, they have self respect, and they wont let you treat them like shit. This is actually a pretty typical guy, so it's a broad spectrum of what qualifies you as a nice guy.

    The Wussbag Loser is what some people mistake as the nice guy. Generally they have no self respect and don't care if people push them around, as long as they acknowledge their sad pathetic existence. They'll do anything to gain favor with someone, and will bend to your will.
    Basically they have no backbone, no personality, and no future of happiness.

    You can change from a wussbag loser to a nice guy pretty easily. Just don't be a little bitch and you're set. It's REALLY not hard to have standards and self respect.
    1 person likes this.
  3. rastsan

    rastsan 8 baller, Death Wizard,

    May 28, 2008
    Keep going down that path. I went the same way with three people. The first did actually pay me back (and to this day still does when he borrows). The second was to help him out of a very bad situation and no expectations were made on paying me back. the third though... he needed money to get bailed out of jail... not quite as bad situation as the second as this guy could still look after himself. the problem being that I somehow turned into a bank that just kept giving loans and not getting repaid. I watched him go from working nice guy to drug addict, then to prostitute drug addict to "can you identify the remains?". I have no regrets... over this. Taking the one route may end a relationship but will work out better in the end... somehow.
  4. Skelletonike

    Skelletonike ♂ ♥ Gallant Pervert ♥ ♀

    Dec 26, 2008
    Steam City
    Meh, what you're doing isn't being an ass. =O
    If he has money for a guitar and lessons, then he has money to pay you back, he just isn't setting his priorities straight. =3
    I'm considered a pretty nice guy, and I have no issues with anyone, however, whenever I lend something, I demand to see it back soon, or I'll be forced to do some blackmailing, getting dirt on people is always useful... Fufufufu...
  5. Youkai

    Youkai Demon

    Jul 1, 2004
    Germany , NRW
    well yeah my main problem is that its so hard for me to say no,
    i don't follow every idiot to be aknowledged, either the other way but
    like with my team, i am in the club since 8 years and now i want to stop cuz its all just getting on my nerves recently (+ i have problems with my physical health)
    but when they call me a third or fourth time i just can't do anything than say "okay a last time i will help out" but that last time is all the time they call -.-V

    i don't want to dissapoint my "friends" but in the end i do something bad to myself and i feel used even thaught they might not intend to do so.

    yesterday i went with them cuz they promised me that they would take me straight back home when we are finished, what was the end of it ? first they were chatting with the opponents for half an hour than they had to do a big detour cuz someone else needed to deliver something and even thaught i was pissed as hell and tried to show them with bad mood i wasn't able to tell them what i was thinking which was "to hell with you guys i want to get home as fast as possible !"
  6. Cyan

    Cyan GBATemp's lurking knight

    Global Moderator
    Oct 27, 2002
    Engine room, learning
    I used to be "The Wussbag Loser", people thought I was the solution for all their problem.
    I that time, I liked being helpful and accepted everything, even though little by little I started not liking it that other users where abusing my patience.

    But all these people where just profiting, and there were nothing in return, I was just used and not considered as someone to speak with if they didn't need anything.
    I once had enough and started telling everyone who wanted something from me to do it themselves, I wasn't a "vendor machine" that you just trigger when you want something.

    When you really have enough, then learn to say NO.
    Just tell them to go to hell, you already told them that you wanted to stop, then stop.

    If you still think you awe them, then you are not really bothered. When you will really have enough, they will wonder what happen to you and see you differently.
    As long as they come back to you, they know that you didn't change and will do whatever they want.

    About your money, tell him what you really think about what he is buying/spending, not only "think about me, one day ... when you will be ready".

    About your boss, then it's more complicated but you have to speak your thoughts when something is wrong. even if you do it, maybe just show that it bother you. little by little, show that you care and participate in the work (taking initiative maybe? to become higher), don't just do the work we give you to do like a robot.
    This is maybe the more difficult to do if you don't want to be fired ^^;

    Well, you could end in "The Asshole" category and lose them, but you will be free.
    Then once you are at the lower level, what's wonderful is that you can "select" what you want to do or not, be useful without being a robot and you'll go back being a Nice guy which no one abused anymore.
    Don't make any promise that you'll do things, don't show them that it's granted.
  7. Chikaku-chan

    Chikaku-chan ᏁᎽᎪ~

    Aug 9, 2011
    New Zealand
    1 person likes this.