How Man Discovered Milk

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by Hadrian, Sep 25, 2007.

  1. Hadrian
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    Hadrian Better than Craigslist

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    I think the whole milk discovery thing was like this:

    Man: Hey woman whats up?
    Woman: No milk is coming from my titties so baby is hungry.
    Man: You got lame tits huh?
    Woman: Guess so [​IMG]
    Man: Erm theres no other frinkoptengooork (that was the word cavemen used before "lactating" was used) women around so I dunno what we could do to feed baby.
    Woman: Theres those black and white blotchy things out there, their young seem to suck their teats for food.
    Man: Mmmm

    Man goes off, sucks the black & white blotchy things teat.

    Another man: Hey what is your man doing to that bull?
    Woman: Whats a bull?
    Another Man: A male cow.
    Woman: Oh! How can you tell them apart?
    Another Man: Yeah erm big horns on head, theres no udders and it has a penis.
    Woman: Whats penis?

    Another Man pulls his loin clothe down and shows her.

    Woman: Holy smeg! HAROLD HAROLD STOP DOING THAT! YOU GIVING A MALE COW A SPECIAL THURSDAY TREAT!!!
    Man: MFLFFL????
    Another Man: So erm why he doing that?
    Woman: My titties are lame cos they won't give baby the white food.
    Another Man: Oh right!
    Woman: Yeah.

    Man comes back looking quite ashamed.

    Woman: You ok?
    Man: Not really
    Another Man: S'up? Erm them ones there are female.

    Points to cow

    Man: Ah ok...erm I'm kinda fragile right now so do you mind?
    Another Man: Nah mate I'm frinkopten intolerant.
    Man: What?
    Another Man: It means it makes me super sick.
    Man: How did you find that out? Getting milk from animals hasn't been realised yet?
    Another Man: Yeah erm I've chucked up on my mothers none lame titties.
    Man: Oh right, so what did you do for food?
    Another Man: Well my Dad did what you did but erm with a horse. Thats why my Dad is dead, the horse kinda kicked him hard and its hoof went in my Dads head.
    Man: Bummer...so then what?
    Another Man: Well a day later my Mum was like with this other guy and she got him to find a cow that had udders and this other guy was actually not a douche and just used his hand and got some milk out into this rock bucket we used for doing number 2 in.
    Man: Ah so it works then?
    Another Man: Well I didn't starve to death!
    Man: Cool, well I'll get the poo bucket then.

    Man goes over to the supposed cow.

    Man: IS THIS A COW? I SEE NO PENIS ONLY FLANGE.
    Another Man: YEAH THATS A COW!
    Man: Cheers.

    And there you go thats how it happened. So do you feel like you lost a part of your life that you'll never get back? Like most stories of the past there are some gross inconsistencies there.
     
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  2. Bruinbaard

    Bruinbaard GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    YOU got fantasy....
     
  3. pasc

    pasc GBATemps official GBA Freak

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    hadrian, face it, you are realllly bored ^^
     
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  4. Teun

    Teun GBAtemp Fan

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  5. Hadrian
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    Hadrian Better than Craigslist

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    The lack of sleep is hurting my brain. Shows huh?
     
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  6. [M]artin

    [M]artin .

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    Can I habs boobjuice noaw?
     
  7. Digeman

    Digeman GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    It all makes sense to me... [​IMG]
     
  8. 111111111

    111111111 GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    actually, donkey milk is the closest to human milk and has in the past been used to feed babies when the mother died (and a wet nurse wasn't available).

    see HERE for some more info.

    Ass-Milk, kekekekekekekekekeke!!
     
  9. JacobReaper

    JacobReaper I Love You....

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    Spoomo
    xD i was about to psot that [​IMG] lololol
     
  10. superrob

    superrob H4X H4X H4X!

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    GBATemp factory.
    How many drugs did you take to get on that stage?
     
  11. Neko

    Neko Been a while.

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    #gbatemp.net
    (17:50:38) (Hadrianm) Man discovering milk or something
    (17:50:55) (NekoLeah) How Man Discovered Milk
    (17:51:01) (NekoLeah) ?
    (17:51:14) (NekoLeah) this topic maybe ? http://gbatemp.net/index.php?showtopic=61262&hl=milk
    (17:51:43) (Hadrianm) OH YEAH!
    (17:52:07) (Hadrianm) Someone bump it
     
  12. p1ngpong

    p1ngpong Unamused frog

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    I stopped reading at the man-cow mouth milking part
     
  13. bunnybreaker

    bunnybreaker GBAtemp Fan

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    Hadrian, I approve of your avatar, that is one awesome album. Also a friend of mine knows one of the Primal Scream dudes.

    Anyway, I think your theory is actually putting it nicely, I think it went more like this:

    Man1: How was that for you?
    Man2: I've had better blowjobs off sabretoothed tigers.
    Man1: Oh, I guess I should practice huh?
    Man2: Don't talk to me until you do.
    dot dot dot
     
  14. Gab

    Gab Advanced Member

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    I believe it is easier to pull a loincloth up. I can tell by my loincloth and having pulled quite a few loincloths in my time.
     
  15. Hadrian
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    Hadrian Better than Craigslist

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    I had that on my earphones and practically deafened myself when Accelerator came on.

    People go on about Screamadelica but that & Vanishing Point where miles better.
     
  16. Hadrian
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    Hadrian Better than Craigslist

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    I'm drunk and Raulpica is making me nostalgic.

    What you expect New Haddie gold? I don't even have Old Haddie Gold.
     
  17. Arras

    Arras GBAtemp Guru

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    Holy necrobump, batman.
     
  18. nando

    nando GBAtemp Addict

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    you can't feed cow's milk to a baby! this story is bullshit
     
  19. Nah3DS

    Nah3DS Madre de Dios! Es El POLLO DIABLO!!!

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    I think this thread should be renamed to "How Man Discovered Zoophilia"
     
  20. Hadrian
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    Hadrian Better than Craigslist

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    You can feed a baby anything. Will it like it? Maybe not. Will it make it sick, probably.