How GBATemp has been a pawn of Area 51 this whole time part 1

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So yeah. I have a writing itch and for whatever reason it wanted to do a s**tpost conspiracy theory. None of this is serious, just messing around.


Hello, everyone. My name is terriblety, most of you know me as 'that idiot in the politics section'. But today I want to do something a little bit different. I want to show you all something I've been working on for a while now. Namely, the truth.

As we all know, GBAtemp has a rich history. It started out storing legal backups of GBA games. It also stored legal backups. Did I mention they stored legal backups?

Anyway, the point is they stored legal backups at some point. Now this is very important to pay attention to. Keep your mind fixated on this fact. Notice how GBA has three letters. Namely G, B, and A.

At first glance this appears to be nothing more than the initials for the Game Boy Advance, but first impressions aren't always telling.

If you run GBA against a Caesar cipher decoder with a value of 3 (it begins to fit together), you get DYX. At first glance, it appears to be random letters. 'What else would it be?' you ask. Well, my skeptic reader. If you pronounce it phonetically, you get DICKS.

Yes, take a moment to breath it in, I am a genius, after all.

So, what can we do with this magic word? Well, not much at first glance. I truly was stumped at this point. The word was far too explicit, too blatant. There's no way it couldn't be important in some way.

It then hit me.

In the original sub of Ore No Imouto, there's a line wherein the sister/love-interest/I-swear-I-didn't-watch-this-I'm reading-the-plot-off-my-anime-list exclaims that she 'loves dicks'. Definitely. It's hidden research by the way, so you'll never find the quote.

Now, the English title is Oreimo. If you reverse the letters, you get Omiero. The symmetry between the two reversals is truly beautiful when one takes a minute to reflect upon it. Like koi fish, or a lion brutally slaughtering a gazelle. Now this is very important to pay attention to. Keep your mind fixated on this fact

Anyway, the character 'loves dicks,'. As we all know, a fair portion of GBAtemp is composed of 'Dicks'. Why else would the word be hidden within a Caesar cipher like that? Thus it comes full circle. We now know that Oreimo is obviously connected to GBAtemp in some way or another.

How can we utilize this?

After extensive research, I managed to uncover a breakthrough. After the creator finished with Oreimo, he realized what the fans had truly wanted. A little show called Eromanga Sensei. A true classic that has been critically acclaimed in nearly every corner of the world. But a sinister thing lurks just beneath the depths of this seemingly innocent show. If you pay close attention to every frame, a pattern begins to emerge. Every now and then, the show will have brief moments of fanservice. While casuals dismiss these scenes as nothing more than the ravings of a mad sex freak on morphine, true fans see the deeper meaning within each panty shot. If you map out every time a panty shot occurs within an episode, you receive a group of numbers.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-infinity

For years fans have puzzled over the meaning of these seemingly meaningless numbers, but I believe I've solved the caper. If you re arrange the numbers, there's one in particular that stands out as strangely familiar.

3-4-5-6-9

We remove the 1 because it's a stupid number. We remove the 2 because it's what you get if you multiply 1 by 2. We keep the 3 because there are 3 letters in GBA. We keep the 4 cause 4 is too fine for this world. We keep the 5 cause it's half of ten. And finally we keep the 6 and 9 cause they're multiples of 3.

Once again, a seemingly random bunch of numbers. And yet, it seems strangely familiar.

Of course.

Of course!

How could I have been so foolish!?

6-5-9-4-3. If you take away the x from the word of the action that the sister in Eromanga Sensei wants to do to her brother(Sax. As in she wants to play jazz with him,), then you get...

x65943.

It's all coming together.

For months, I've seen the name of this person on various mind-control imagery (the sheeple call them comics) propaganda. Upon further investigation, I have found the names of various other people associated with this x65943. Someone named 'QuantumCat'. Another named 'DinohScene', and yet another named 'Foxi4'.

This all leads me to believe in the existence of some kind of order, some kind of cabal, controlling everything on GBAtemp. I have decided to call them The Order of The Admins. I do not know if they are benevolent gods sent down from on high, or dangerous demons carried from the depths. I do not even know how far down this continues. There could be as few as thirty and as many as a million in on this. It could reach up to the very top, or erm.... Something. I will continue my investigations further.

In the meanwhile, stay safe, my brothers-in-arms, beware those with unusual username colors, and welcome to the Society of The True TEMPlars. hrmmm... Sherlock Holmes: Electric Boogaloo Alpha Strike Omega Force Sixer Niner Ultimate.
 
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Deleted User

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Apologies to anyone looking for actual art. Accidentally misposted here. I've asked a moderator to move it to EOF, so, yeah.
 
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