Almost every girl at my school has a bf or bi/lesbian or they don't want a relationship
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sadly, Lilith left us quite a while ago, so she most likely wont be responding. (although she may be lurking)
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Because we want to be liked as people, we wanted to be liked for who we are, not because we have boobs.
Imagine you have a bit of money. Not rich but not struggling. You want to find a meaningful relationship. Imagine you keep getting interest from girls but it turns out all they ever want is a free dinner, cause you have some money. Maybe some pretend to be interested in who you are, then after they get a date or two they disappear. Others could be more upfront and say they'll hang with you as long as you buy them stuff. None of this is what you want - you wonder if you're some sort of horrible person and nobody will ever like you for who you are.
This is how it can be for females - if guys only show interest in you because you're female. Maybe they want sex, maybe all they want is something to show off on their arm at parties. It's all the same - they don't care about who you are. You could have a brain transplant with the person next to you and they'd never notice. If you're upfront at least we can move on faster than if you were faking liking us (or accept, if we just want some temporary fun).
That's all true, but there are plenty of people shallow enough to not care and only want attention... Overall though most want to be liked for what makes them unique as a person, regardless of their gender.
D
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So you basically just compared being a female to being a rich male. You then proceed to talk about how men want to "use you" as arm candy". Do you realize how pretentious and self aggrandizing your post sounds? I find it laughable that you compared your entire life experience to a "rich male" and having people use you for money,like being with you is this great privilege that only the best among MEN get the opportunity to experience. Imagine if I wrote a post like yours talking about how my sexual prowess compares to the social power of a rich man,talking about how girls only want to use me for my amazing sex and how I constantly have to turn girls down alst while wearing a mask of self righteousness.
You made a post here wit the sole intention to brag about your personal life while pretending to being concerned about helping the OP. I don't think you realize how self aggrandizing and concedeed your post reads to a male that is "forever alone".
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Do you realise that 50% of the world is female? It isn't anything special - I don't understand how you can think being female is bragging. Should I pretend to be male, to fit in better here? All I'm saying is it is attractive if someone wants to get to know you based on thinking you're an interesting person to talk to, not just because of your gender. Does this really not make sense? Do you not have any sort of yearning for someone to understand your point of view and be on your side, and have someone who you know inside out and want to fight for? Or do you really just want a girl to giggle at you and bat her eyelashes and never have any sort of meaningful conversation ever? Would you really prefer for no girls to ever want to get to know you as a person because you're unique and fascinating, they just want to have a date to their friend's party who they're jealous of and any man would do, they wouldn't even notice if a different guy came to pick them up as long as they had a car?
Last edited by Quantumcat,
Most possibly the last possibility you mentioned, as he seems to constantly be thinking only about one-night stands and those things, which is a "relationship" technically, but it's just an empty temporary thing that serves no other purpose other than calming down his wood. So what if 80% of women go with 20% of men? (which btw is impossible and the numbers are WAY exaggerated) That doesn't mean ALL women are like that and it doesn't mean that cheating women don't care about the other person's personality or whatever. It's not like they all cheat just because! Same goes for men who cheat, there's always a reason for it, be it dissatisfaction, problems between the two or whatever. Everyone else is giving advice on how to find a girl and keep her rather than find a girl and the next day having to find another...
Ok it's simple:
1.talk to here
2. Find out what she likes
3. Be friends but not for to long
4. Ask her to go to the movies or some place
5.ask her out I guess
(Note: don't become so much a friend she starts telling you who she likes)
1.talk to here
2. Find out what she likes
3. Be friends but not for to long
4. Ask her to go to the movies or some place
5.ask her out I guess
(Note: don't become so much a friend she starts telling you who she likes)
D
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I didn't say being a female was special,you did. You compared your experience as a female to that of a rich man. I just don't think you realize how condescending the entire post sounds to people that struggle with sexual relationships which to be honest many men do(80% I would say) . I am not going to chew you out for it,but the matter of fact is that you have the privilege to "next" any men that doesn't like you for the right reasons. At Least if people like you for your looks that is still you,do you know how many men go without female contact for multiple decades? Many of the nerds in real life (engineers,programmers,accountants,mathematicians,ect.) are married SOLELY for being providers,actually that has been the stereotypical role for a man since chicken first laid an egg.
Let's be honest. As a female you can be nerdy,fat,promiscuous,ugly,dim,short,unhygienic,vulgar,jobless,poor,shy,ect, and there will ALWAYS be males lining up to save the day,as a man try having one of those qualities and good luck finding someone to even want to be with you with no money involved. I just found your post as either a humble brag,or you being disingenuous over the issue. Western culture is based on this premise,which I am sure anyone that is old enough understands.Western society encourages men to become cogs in the system so they can hopefully one day get a wife(who will in most likeliness cheat or divorce) and star a family. Everything in America is made to squeeze every last drop of life out of you until you die,from the social security pyramid,to the punishing taxes on the upper middle class(engineers,accountants,programmers) . If something is mainstream there is a damn good reason that it is so,and it isn't the fact that humans are enlightened.
Quantum,I know the mainstream media says men have it easy,but the truth is that being a man is fucking hard. Even if you have been with a good amount of girls,there are always periods of intense loneliness/sorrow that one must keep to themselves. Females are allowed to express themselves emotionally and they usually have larger networks of support. I am not saying men have it easier in life worldwide because that is a blatant lie,but you cannot deny that in the western world that women have it much better.
If we are doing it bullet point style or numbered like a bit above, here's a simple guide to get to know a girl if you want to get her to warm up to you rather than just hit on her...
0) DON'T STARE! Try to keep a calm look, slowly examining her without looking at something other than her face and/or hair/head for too long at all times throughout this! Also, you need to be prepared to think on your feet! Girls that are somewhere alone and not with a squadron of girls are certainly easier to talk to, so each time you move from the starting point throughout the steps, try to subliminal get any other people off the two of you so you can talk more openly and relaxed. Be sure to make subtle compliments on both her appearance (at first) and personality (later on)
1) Approach her and casually introduce yourself without being too pushy or aggressive, but don't say too much at once, take things slowly and give her time to speak without rushing her
2) Make small talk with her and slowly shift it to a bit more personal, like what her interests are and a vague description of herself (this is a "red flag" test to help you decide if you give up or continue) and if she has a boyfriend already (but do this indirectly and possibly with a compliment alongside it, but don't make her cringe)
3) If no red flags are raised maniacally telling you to get the hell out and you want to proceed and you happen to be someplace that's not exactly optimal for this, invite her to walk around a bit or go someplace close to get to know each other a bit (again, don't be aggressive or pushy, stay casual and gentle). If red flags are raised, then politely and calmly continue making conversation without showing that you want out (in case of false flag) and after a while find a way to get out of it without looking left and right anxiously
4) If she agrees, ask her where she would like to go. If she says it's up to you, think back to what info you got so far and decide the best place to take her (be it for a walk or to sit), let her know and judging from the reaction go through with it. If she turns down the offer to go somewhere else and it's not too bad a place to talk, try to continue the talk with her for a bit without bringing the rejection up.
5) Whether you stay or go somewhere, don't stop making conversation, but keep it simple and slow going (take some time to talk, always keeping it short) but interesting as much as you can. If you go someplace where you end up having to get stuff (eg: a drink) offer to pay for her (but keep things reasonable). Once you get to talk for a bit more and you feel like there simple topics are done and some time has passed or if you see her starting to lose interest/get bored a bit, depending on how everything has gone, either ask her if she would like to meet again sometime or if she would like to go someplace else (if there's like an arcade or something it can help a lot when the mood starts getting stale, especially if you get her a teddy or something to help her remember the time together, but only do it if you want to keep going with this), go there, wait until you are done enjoying yourselves and ask her to meet again afterwards.
6) Tell her you had a lot of fun (even if you didn't) and that you would like to see her again soon (even if you don't want to), then exchange info. Leave last names for this part, as they can be an annoyance or turn off. Also, for the love of god, don't go trying to exchange contact info like weird apps (or red flag ones like kik), just full name, your phone number (possibly what times each of you is free so you don't end up inconveniencing her ruining things) and an email just in case (like a normal mature person does).
7) Give it two days, then if she hasn't called you, feel free to call her and ask her if she would like to meet again sometime (but never make dates further than half a week-one week away). If she says ok great. It's best if you get her to go out with you alone, but if she invites to hang out instead with friends, that's not bad either, as you can score a point or two by getting well with her other friends and perhaps check the situation out regarding whether others are after her too. Make sure to get to see her at least once more though after the first time, as there are a lot of variant
PS: You don't have to be a stud to get her to not turn you down completely, but again, don't lick her with your eyes or stare/measure her with a dirty mind. Simply make sure you don't stink and that you don't look hideous, then it's all up to the individual girl's personality.
PPS: These steps WON'T work for 100% of cases and may not work for 50%, but when they work, they work great! Just be prepared to dedicate some time in it...
1) STOP repeating the same inaccurate survey results over and over like they are fact, they are NOT
2) Quantumkitty's example was just fine and a very good analogy if you simply look at things objectively
3) Just because there will always be guys wanting a woman, it doesn't mean that they will always get one, even if it's an ugly one
4) Stop stereotyping professions, the people who are engineers, accountants, programmers and whatever you listed have both money and get out often, they aren't nerds. The people you think are in those professions are NOT those who are fat, sweaty and living in their mother's basement. As an engineer myself, I've NEVER seen one in the actual profession who's like what you describe.
5) Like you said, it's in America, the US is NOT the entire world, stop treating it more than it is, just another stupid country
6) It's not society encouraging men to try to find a good job and start a family, it's a PERSONAL PREFERENCE. MANY men just care about work, others want work and a family, others want a simple job just to make do and so on, don't lump all men together
7) Men have it harder, who said otherwise? It's true everywhere, be it US, Australia, Europe, Asia, no matter where you are, being a man sucks, unless you are at the very top of the human food chain. Idiots get eaten by the system, smart people climb to the top. Life's as simple as that. Women having it better than men doesn't mean anything when it comes to finding a partner.
8) You said: "Even if you have been with a good amount of girls,there are always periods of intense loneliness/sorrow that one must keep to themselves." Again, you are constantly thinking about temporary fleeting things, not actual relationships. Stop it, get some help, there are more important things in life than sex you know... It doesn't matter how many girls you get, what matters is how soon you will find the good one and get to keep her without anything going wrong, which is impossible if all you care about is getting laid.
Now, can we let this thread die already before someone else posts more false surveys?
0) DON'T STARE! Try to keep a calm look, slowly examining her without looking at something other than her face and/or hair/head for too long at all times throughout this! Also, you need to be prepared to think on your feet! Girls that are somewhere alone and not with a squadron of girls are certainly easier to talk to, so each time you move from the starting point throughout the steps, try to subliminal get any other people off the two of you so you can talk more openly and relaxed. Be sure to make subtle compliments on both her appearance (at first) and personality (later on)
1) Approach her and casually introduce yourself without being too pushy or aggressive, but don't say too much at once, take things slowly and give her time to speak without rushing her
2) Make small talk with her and slowly shift it to a bit more personal, like what her interests are and a vague description of herself (this is a "red flag" test to help you decide if you give up or continue) and if she has a boyfriend already (but do this indirectly and possibly with a compliment alongside it, but don't make her cringe)
3) If no red flags are raised maniacally telling you to get the hell out and you want to proceed and you happen to be someplace that's not exactly optimal for this, invite her to walk around a bit or go someplace close to get to know each other a bit (again, don't be aggressive or pushy, stay casual and gentle). If red flags are raised, then politely and calmly continue making conversation without showing that you want out (in case of false flag) and after a while find a way to get out of it without looking left and right anxiously
4) If she agrees, ask her where she would like to go. If she says it's up to you, think back to what info you got so far and decide the best place to take her (be it for a walk or to sit), let her know and judging from the reaction go through with it. If she turns down the offer to go somewhere else and it's not too bad a place to talk, try to continue the talk with her for a bit without bringing the rejection up.
5) Whether you stay or go somewhere, don't stop making conversation, but keep it simple and slow going (take some time to talk, always keeping it short) but interesting as much as you can. If you go someplace where you end up having to get stuff (eg: a drink) offer to pay for her (but keep things reasonable). Once you get to talk for a bit more and you feel like there simple topics are done and some time has passed or if you see her starting to lose interest/get bored a bit, depending on how everything has gone, either ask her if she would like to meet again sometime or if she would like to go someplace else (if there's like an arcade or something it can help a lot when the mood starts getting stale, especially if you get her a teddy or something to help her remember the time together, but only do it if you want to keep going with this), go there, wait until you are done enjoying yourselves and ask her to meet again afterwards.
6) Tell her you had a lot of fun (even if you didn't) and that you would like to see her again soon (even if you don't want to), then exchange info. Leave last names for this part, as they can be an annoyance or turn off. Also, for the love of god, don't go trying to exchange contact info like weird apps (or red flag ones like kik), just full name, your phone number (possibly what times each of you is free so you don't end up inconveniencing her ruining things) and an email just in case (like a normal mature person does).
7) Give it two days, then if she hasn't called you, feel free to call her and ask her if she would like to meet again sometime (but never make dates further than half a week-one week away). If she says ok great. It's best if you get her to go out with you alone, but if she invites to hang out instead with friends, that's not bad either, as you can score a point or two by getting well with her other friends and perhaps check the situation out regarding whether others are after her too. Make sure to get to see her at least once more though after the first time, as there are a lot of variant
PS: You don't have to be a stud to get her to not turn you down completely, but again, don't lick her with your eyes or stare/measure her with a dirty mind. Simply make sure you don't stink and that you don't look hideous, then it's all up to the individual girl's personality.
PPS: These steps WON'T work for 100% of cases and may not work for 50%, but when they work, they work great! Just be prepared to dedicate some time in it...
Since I did numbered points above, I'll do it for you too...
1) STOP repeating the same inaccurate survey results over and over like they are fact, they are NOT
2) Quantumkitty's example was just fine and a very good analogy if you simply look at things objectively
3) Just because there will always be guys wanting a woman, it doesn't mean that they will always get one, even if it's an ugly one
4) Stop stereotyping professions, the people who are engineers, accountants, programmers and whatever you listed have both money and get out often, they aren't nerds. The people you think are in those professions are NOT those who are fat, sweaty and living in their mother's basement. As an engineer myself, I've NEVER seen one in the actual profession who's like what you describe.
5) Like you said, it's in America, the US is NOT the entire world, stop treating it more than it is, just another stupid country
6) It's not society encouraging men to try to find a good job and start a family, it's a PERSONAL PREFERENCE. MANY men just care about work, others want work and a family, others want a simple job just to make do and so on, don't lump all men together
7) Men have it harder, who said otherwise? It's true everywhere, be it US, Australia, Europe, Asia, no matter where you are, being a man sucks, unless you are at the very top of the human food chain. Idiots get eaten by the system, smart people climb to the top. Life's as simple as that. Women having it better than men doesn't mean anything when it comes to finding a partner.
8) You said: "Even if you have been with a good amount of girls,there are always periods of intense loneliness/sorrow that one must keep to themselves." Again, you are constantly thinking about temporary fleeting things, not actual relationships. Stop it, get some help, there are more important things in life than sex you know... It doesn't matter how many girls you get, what matters is how soon you will find the good one and get to keep her without anything going wrong, which is impossible if all you care about is getting laid.
Now, can we let this thread die already before someone else posts more false surveys?
D
Deleted-401606
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OP
If we are doing it bullet point style or numbered like a bit above, here's a simple guide to get to know a girl if you want to get her to warm up to you rather than just hit on her...
Since I did numbered points above, I'll do it for you too...
1) STOP repeating the same inaccurate survey results over and over like they are fact, they are NOT
2) Quantumkitty's example was just fine and a very good analogy if you simply look at things objectively
3) Just because there will always be guys wanting a woman, it doesn't mean that they will always get one, even if it's an ugly one
4) Stop stereotyping professions, the people who are engineers, accountants, programmers and whatever you listed have both money and get out often, they aren't nerds. The people you think are in those professions are NOT those who are fat, sweaty and living in their mother's basement. As an engineer myself, I've NEVER seen one in the actual profession who's like what you describe.
5) Like you said, it's in America, the US is NOT the entire world, stop treating it more than it is, just another stupid country
6) It's not society encouraging men to try to find a good job and start a family, it's a PERSONAL PREFERENCE. MANY men just care about work, others want work and a family, others want a simple job just to make do and so on, don't lump all men together
7) Men have it harder, who said otherwise? It's true everywhere, be it US, Australia, Europe, Asia, no matter where you are, being a man sucks, unless you are at the very top of the human food chain. Idiots get eaten by the system, smart people climb to the top. Life's as simple as that. Women having it better than men doesn't mean anything when it comes to finding a partner.
8) You said: "Even if you have been with a good amount of girls,there are always periods of intense loneliness/sorrow that one must keep to themselves." Again, you are constantly thinking about temporary fleeting things, not actual relationships. Stop it, get some help, there are more important things in life than sex you know... It doesn't matter how many girls you get, what matters is how soon you will find the good one and get to keep her without anything going wrong, which is impossible if all you care about is getting laid.
Now, can we let this thread die already before someone else posts more false surveys?
Where did I say engineers were fat and sweaty? I am not sure you read my post at all. They aren't false surveys,they are studies done by sociologist but people on temp like believing in greek mythologies about life because reality sucks. I won't link more information on it as I am not trying to prove a point,but if you are interested you can PM me or google more on the subject matter.
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You don't have to be good looking to attract a girl. You just have to be nice. The men that are alone probably just lack the confidence to talk to a female, putting them on a pedestal for nothing other than the way they were born. I'm sure if they could look past that and treat them as anyone else they would have no problem (assuming no other issues like social anxiety). You say I was humble bragging - but it is the men themselves creating this difference in their own heads when it doesn't really exist. We are all just people wanting to connect to others. Just treat people as people. No one needs to be special or treated differently. Everyone equal.
It's actually an advantage to be a little unattractive as a man, anyway - the man will be thrilled to be with someone more attractive than themselves and in turn the woman feels secure because he isn't likely to run away. It's a very stable arrangement. Eg https://www.dmarge.com/2017/07/unattractive-men.html Being an unattractive female makes life a lot harder than for an unattractive man. Men, as you know, are driven by looks and sex and may not even give an unattractive female a second look let alone have a conversation with her. Whereas a female is likely to be happy to talk to anyone who wants to talk to her, unattractive OR attractive. As long as the man is actually willing to have a chat and get to know her and vice versa! Which I'm trying to say is a good idea.
Anyway I'll stop here since it seems like the more I try and explain the more people think I mean the opposite.
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I'm starting to believe that a woman hurt you, and now you hold a resentment against all females. You can express yourself emotionally. If you're worried about being judged for it, you should consider surrounding yourself with different people. If you want a change in your life you have to be that change.
As far as @Quantumcat 's post, you're not seeing the forest for the trees. Her point wasn't to compare being female to being a rich male. Her point was not knowing if someone is really interested in you or just pretending to be interested for something petty. Tits and money are petty. But you already know that. You purposefully ignored her point to take another jab at women. If you plan on having any sort of healthy relationship ever, you have to let that anger go.
Last edited by WeedZ,
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Edit: Just read some of your previous comments, and I'm sorry. Should have done that first. I'm going to leave this comment up as I feel it has a point.
Confidence is a two way street here. An unattractive male can be just as down about their situation as an unattractive female. I hate to break it to you, but not all men care about sex and looks. Hell, the reality is that beauty is subjective. Which is why, in another thread, I said I believe having a type isn't a problem. Love is emotional, physical and spiritual. You can't have part of it. Otherwise it's not real. Women can be so shallow as to be with someone for their financial or social status. Same with men.
The whole "beauty and the beast" mantra is dated and shouldn't be a pillar for a relationship.
It's also a false sense of security. If someone is superficial enough to only love you for your looks, there's a substantially high chance that person WILL leave you for someone prettier than you.
The whole "beauty and the beast" mantra is dated and shouldn't be a pillar for a relationship.
It's also a false sense of security. If someone is superficial enough to only love you for your looks, there's a substantially high chance that person WILL leave you for someone prettier than you.
Last edited by Kioku,
respek da whamen and da whamen will laik you.
well put
majority of gals are hard to please my dude and you gotta keep up with their demands and give them the amount of attention they need or else according to them "you dont love them" and then they will want to break up with you because you are not mature enough and dont understand them.
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It's at that point where ties are cut. I don't see why someone would feel this obligation to bend over backwards for another.
Last edited by Kioku,
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