How do I make friends?

[Hungry Friend]

Another thing, and I know this is harsh, is do not appear desperate for approval or people who have not so honorable intentions will take advantage of you and mess with your head. Screw what people think of you and learn to love yourself before worrying about making tons of friends. As for me, I have a few very close friends who I trust, not a buncha "lukewarm" buddies like I used to have when I was a teenager and in my early 20s that I did all kinds of dumb crap with. Just chill, be yourself, be confident & compassionate and friendships will likely follow.

 

[VinsCool]

Another thing, and I know this is harsh, is do not appear desperate for approval or people who have not so honorable intentions will take advantage of you and mess with your head.

Thia exact statement is what made my whole existence shit, until very recently.

Just chill, be yourself, be confident & compassionate and friendships will likely follow.

I totally agree with this!

 

[mgrev]

Thia exact statement is what made my whole existence shit, until very recently.


I totally agree with this!

"Likely"...

I am being myself, and most people ignore me irl anyway.

 

[VinsCool]

"Likely"...

I am being myself, and most people ignore me irl anyway.

Better being ignored than being hated or harassed IMO

 

[TotalInsanity4]

Better being ignored than being hated or harassed IMO

I second this motion XD

 

[Raylight]

I don't know how to respond to such a thread. I don't have any friends outside the internet and I don't want any (Trust Issues) If I do get a friend it happens naturally and thats very rare for me.

 

[mgrev]

Better being ignored than being hated or harassed IMO

True. Tbh i kinda like being alone. Although when people are aroind and for some reason not ignoring me, they are jusu being assholes to me

 

[DinohScene]

If you are in high school or college, don't bother, as you'll probably never see any of them again. In college years, don't worry about friends, make acquaintances and network with people who look like they'll become successful. Use them to get a job in the future.

If you are in the working years, find a job and you'll probably find a friend passively.

I agree about highschool/college/uni etc.
Classmates are dicks and you'll never see them again.
Tho only hanging with people who look like they'll become successful...
Don't be surprised if they backstab you and fuck you over for their own personal gain.

People are scumbags and REAL friends (whom you can trust blindly) are hard to come by.

 

[Cyan]

find a job and you'll probably find a friend passively.

It doesn't always work.
It depends on your job and who you see or talk to, and why.

I see a lot of people (200 per day? maybe), and nobody talks to me in a "friendly" way. it always stays professional.

Leave the house... it worked for me

I guess that's the first step.

 

[chaosrunner]

LEGIT BE YOUR SELF OR JUST TALK TO SOMEONE or if you are in a group project just start talking find their interests and talk about it (you can ask if they wanna work after school and you guys can chill or stuff thats how i got to go on a date )

 

[G0R3Z]

I wouldn't know, i'm kind of a dick

 

[Hungry Friend]

I wouldn't know, i'm kind of a dick

I prefer "brutally honest" or "blunt" myself

I have friends and loved ones but I'm a pretty solitary person myself, and it's incredibly important to learn to not only accept yourself for who you are but recognize your own flaws(not what others dislike) and do what you can to improve upon them. Taking my own advice as far as that goes has been, and will likely remain, quite difficult but it is needed. Faith in God has helped me with the small strides I have made but I've got quite a long way to go, and also try not to judge others too much because if you mess up, you don't want a buncha people dog piling you and giving you crap for your mistakes.

Either way, just learn to be more confident brother.

 

[G0R3Z]

I prefer "brutally honest" or "blunt" myself

I have friends and loved ones but I'm a pretty solitary person myself, and it's incredibly important to learn to not only accept yourself for who you are but recognize your own flaws(not what others dislike) and do what you can to improve upon them. Taking my own advice as far as that goes has been, and will likely remain, quite difficult but it is needed. Faith in God has helped me with the small strides I have made but I've got quite a long way to go, and also try not to judge others too much because if you mess up, you don't want a buncha people dog piling you and giving you crap for your mistakes.

Either way, just learn to be more confident brother.

I like to think I'm a nice person but a lot of my experiences have shredded the kindness from me in a lot of ways. I don't feel sympathy for anyone who isn't my wife or children and I try and avoid talking to new people because I don't trust anybody. I try to get on with people myself, but I personally find it difficult. I never had the best start with social skills and I never developed them. Although towards strangers, i'm upbeat and pleasant, to the best of my abilities.

 

[Hungry Friend]

I like to think I'm a nice person but a lot of my experiences have shredded the kindness from me in a lot of ways. I don't feel sympathy for anyone who isn't my wife or children and I try and avoid talking to new people because I don't trust anybody. I try to get on with people myself, but I personally find it difficult. I never had the best start with social skills and I never developed them. Although towards strangers, i'm upbeat and pleasant, to the best of my abilities.

Yeah man I have trust issues as well, but one thing that released me from a ton of negative feelings and distrust of others as a whole(although it's still there) was forgiving all those who have hurt me in one way or another in the past. Holding on to grudges only hurt me, and the people I used to hate probably don't even think of me at all or at most very seldomly, so all it did was rip me up inside and make me a crappier person but I feel ya. I used to be incredibly unpleasant when I was younger, a bully(namely early-mid teens) so for me to hate those who hurt me did nothing but make me a hypocrite and hurt me.

In short, when you're ready and through faith or by whatever means you prefer to use, forgive those who have hurt and betrayed you. Easier said than done, and for some of them it took me YEARS of struggle. Even if they feel no remorse and still treat you like crap, hating them does nothing but give them power over you and taints you as a human being. I know I'm being preachy but this comes from personal experience and much introspection and for me personally, prayer.

I still have work to do in this area because when I get really mad some of those feelings will pop up momentarily, but generally speaking it's behind me.

 

[G0R3Z]

In short, when you're ready and through faith or by whatever means you prefer to use, forgive those who have hurt and betrayed you. Easier said than done, and for some of them it took me YEARS of struggle. Even if they feel no remorse and still treat you like crap, hating them does nothing but give them power over you and taints you as a human being. I know I'm being preachy but this comes from personal experience and much introspection and for me personally, prayer.

I still have work to do in this area because when I get really mad some of those feelings will pop up momentarily, but generally speaking it's behind me.

Oh I do hate those people. Make no mistake, i'm not beyond hating people for what they did to me. It genuinely makes me feel better. I was bullied so much in school that I don't know who I am. If one of those people was dying in front of me, I even wouldn't consider helping them. I'm going to hold those grudges forever because they've made me what I am, they did this to me, it's their fault. I'd even consider helping them die more slowly and painfully - that's how evil those people are. Even now, they're no longer human to me. They're evil, disgusting names in my mind that will stay there forever. They're monsters, through and through.

 

[putti]

I agree about highschool/college/uni etc.
Classmates are dicks and you'll never see them again.
Tho only hanging with people who look like they'll become successful...
Don't be surprised if they backstab you and fuck you over for their own personal gain.

People are scumbags and REAL friends (whom you can trust blindly) are hard to come by.

This.
The feels.
It hit me right through.

 

[Hungry Friend]

Oh I do hate those people. Make no mistake, i'm not beyond hating people for what they did to me. It genuinely makes me feel better. I was bullied so much in school that I don't know who I am. If one of those people was dying in front of me, I even wouldn't consider helping them. I'm going to hold those grudges forever because they've made me what I am, they did this to me, it's their fault. I'd even consider helping them die more slowly and painfully - that's how evil those people are. Even now, they're no longer human to me. They're evil, disgusting names in my mind that will stay there forever. They're monsters, through and through.

Look man, there are people who I used to feel that exact same way about and even if they ARE without love or conscience, what good does hating them do? Forgiving them, speaking from my own experience, will lift tremendous amounts of weight off your shoulders and help you to grow as a human being, and not only is hatred wrong but if you forgive them, those that bullied you will no longer have ANY power over you nor any influence on your thoughts/state of mind.

I pray that you find it in your heart to forgive them because those people were probably also either hurting, confused or going through some other crap themselves. Even if some of them ARE psychopaths or something, I hope you can put down this heavy burden of hatred that you're carrying around, but from my own experience, it is very very hard to do so. Don't let others' actions from the past continue to eat away at you, and trying to convince yourself that hatred makes you feel better will not do any good, and again, this is from my own experience, not me trying to talk down to you like some douche.

 

[FTRBND]

what is..
friends

 

[Ricken]

Get a dating site.

This selfie gets all the ladies (jk lol)